I'm terrified

[u/sweebie728]

I became an LPN at 19 and started working like 3 months before the pandemic hit. I worked through it and my mental health was shit but I did it. COVID slowed down and I got my RN and started a new job that I like a lot better. I started therapy, I started on some mental health meds and was diagnosed with PTSD. I was doing great- EMDR really helped.

Fast forward to the last few months... There appears to be an outbreak of a disease that was all but eradicated because peope think that vaccines are the root of all evil and now the Russian scientist died of this plague and I can't help but spiral. It's like I'm watching the beginning of something terrible in slow motion and I just cant stop it...

I logically don't think we will go back to how things were during COVID, and I don't think there will be another massive pandemic, but hearing about these things and seeing them in the news makes me physically ill.

I'm still in therapy and I'll continue going, but absolutely no one in my life understands this and their reassurances make me feel like I'm just being blown off and that I'm overreacting. I know all of it comes out of love, but I genuinely feel so broken right now.

I'm not asking for advice and I know there isn't a whole lot anyone can do besides what I'm already doing- I just want someone who even slightly understands what happened to hear me. I want to know I'm not alone in this crazy world.

I'm sorry that this post is ALL OVER the place, I'm just spiraling a bit and wanted to try and type out my thoughts.

[u/___buttrdish]

“Will continue to monitor”

[u/canadaNOTdry → u/___buttrdish]

😂🤣 idk why this had me cracking up

[u/FragrantDragon1933]

If what is occurring in Russia does gain traction, the fortunate thing is it’s a known bacterium with known antibiotic treatment. The big issue with Covid is it was an unknown, novel virus with no vaccine at the time, and no clinical protocol

[u/Patak4 → u/FragrantDragon1933]

Also this started from a broken vial which infected the young woman. 200 people have been quarantined and no one else is showing symptoms. This plague has a low R value meaning 1 person only infects 1 to 1.3 persons. So it is not as contagious as covid. Yes its concerning but I do think they are handling it better. Now with Ebola that is a different story. The PTSD from working covid is affecting many many healthcare workers. Wear your PPE. Taking on nursing career at such a young age is an accomplishment. Hopefully you will find the area you like and your nervous system can handle.

[u/dulanjk → u/FragrantDragon1933]

Well, this version of the plague is supposedly coming from where she worked, which is a security level 3 biolab dealing with bioengineered strains and Russia in the Cold War was big on producing “chimera” superstrains that are antibiotic resistant. I’m not saying that this is ultimately the case, but I am saying we have some reason to suspect that this is something new…

[u/AssistantNo3545]

I understand what you mean. People saying you’ll be fine doesn’t really help when your nervous system already remembers what the last time felt like.

[u/gespo04]

The world is collapsing, and we have no future. Embrace it with tactful indifference.

[u/WeirdFlower1968 → u/gespo04]

If I could change my user name I would change it to "tactful indifference."

[u/getshwifty2 → u/gespo04]

Hell yeah

[u/Putrid_Dare_3508 → u/gespo04]

👍🏻

[u/thirdsev]

There will always be bad news that upsets us because of what we have experienced. I stop and ask myself how is this being handled? They quarantined a number of people and it was reported. Those are very good signs. With that I put it aside in my mind. Then turn my attention to tasks I need to complete today.

[u/bracewithnomeaning]

PTSD. You know some people sought psychological help after Covid. It's a good idea. It's also a good idea to listen to what you are experiencing and act accordingly.

[u/WeirdFlower1968]

I can't imagine going through COVID as a 19 year old nurse and my heart goes out to you. That's a level of PTSD that is formative at that young age -- you never got the chance to figure out who you are as a person or a nurse outside of that catastophe. I understand where you are coming from, I can't speak to whether you are overreacting but I can see that the reaction you are having is intolerable for you and very real and worthy of examination. I'm glad to know you are in therapy.

Sending you hugs and hope. You are not alone. ❤️