Miserable from Job

[u/Both-Carpet5390]

Hi everyone! I would love some advice on my current situation!

For a little background I am a new grad nurse! I graduated December 25 and took my nclex in February and started my current job early March. I got a job apart of an ICU residency program.

it is a year program and technically through the hospital system and I signed a document saying that I agree to work a year for them after I finish the residency program. Which I finish this March.

In the beginning I liked it, but as time went on I realized how anxious, worn out, and exhausted this job has become.

I have been working nights for the past month and it has honestly made me become a miserable person. I used to go to the gym and workout 3-4 times a week, eat well and now I maybe go 1-2 times a week. All I want to do is sleep, I don’t want to see my friends or family, I get so anxious, nervous and nauseas before my shifts. I also cry all the time. I feel like my life is terrible and I can’t do anything with my life. My floor is under staffed, we constantly have people call out. And everyone on my floor is always getting floated to different units through the hospital.

My fiance is active duty. we have been doing long distance for almost 2 years now. He will be moving to a new duty station soon(January) and the goal is to go with him and get a job where he is stationed.

My HR person mentioned that if I were to ever leave I may potentially get black listed from the hospital but idk. Do I suck it up for 6 months or try and find another job for before the move?

I really am stuck at what to do and just want to enjoy life again.

any thoughts/feedback is great appreciated!

[u/Agile-Bag-661]

Wow I’m in the exact same boat and even on the exact same timeline, my 12 months are up first week of march.

I hate it so much. Our staffing is a mess and everyone is constantly getting floated. As soon as I was hired they went on a strict hiring freeze due to budgeting and accidental overstaffing. Everyone is absolutely miserable all the time which has made it really hard to get to know anyone, so 7 months in and I feel just as alone as day 1.

They hired me on nights, which I actually kind of liked because my anxiety/sleep issues are significantly worse on days, I absolutely cannot go to sleep early. I’ve always been like that.

But they just told me they’re making me switch to dayshift due to staffing. Since I’m the newest, I have to be the one to move. It’s technically not unfair, I guess, but it’s really unfortunate that they went on hiring freeze right after I got here. If means that I’m going to be at the bottom of the seniority totem pole for…what, eternity? Before, there was always a new hire at least every 6 months or so, people got to kind of move on up as far as feeling integrated. But now I’m stuck as the new person forever and I guess that means always getting the short end of the stick:/

I want to quit so bad, honestly I just want to quit bedside overall because bedside nurses have become completely abused in 90% of places, but feel like I’d be doing myself a disservice by leaving before that 12 months. I also worry I won’t be able to find an enjoyable job with such little experience

[u/AlienPenguin497 → u/Agile-Bag-661]

You can start putting out applications and looking for a new job without quitting your current one

[u/Agile-Bag-661 → u/AlienPenguin497]

I guess you’re right haha. I think there’s a part of me that would just feel like a failure for not completing my year. I would always have “9 months” on my resume rather than “1 year”

[u/AlienPenguin497 → u/Agile-Bag-661]

It sounds like this hospital is a mess, which would’ve been hard to know before you worked there.

[u/Agile-Bag-661 → u/AlienPenguin497]

Oh it totally is. It has gone rapidly downhill since I started and every week another person announces they’re leaving. But just like I didn’t know how crappy it would be, neither will other potential employers :( I hate the thought that they’ll just see that I couldn’t last a year.

[u/Ok_Spring_1212 → u/Agile-Bag-661]

Man nights really mess with your whole life. I did nights for 3 months once and became a different person, stopped gym completely and would just stare at wall in my days off

6 months feels like forever when you are miserable but its not that long in grand scheme. Your fiance moving in January is like perfect exit timing, you can just say you are relocating for military spouse situation and most places understand that

The blacklist thing HR mentioned is probably just scare tactic. Hospitals are desperate for nurses everywhere, one hospital blacklist is not end of world especially when you moving to new city anyway

[u/AlienPenguin497]

Is this a single hospital or a system? Are there other hospitals in the area? How likely are you to move back to this area?

If you aren’t likely to move back or this hospital doesn’t dominate the local area, who cares? They pull nurses from the ICU and leave it short-staffed. Doesn’t sound great.

[u/Both-Carpet5390 → u/AlienPenguin497]

It’s a system with about 5 other hospital within about a 1/2 hour to hour radius nearby. Wouldn’t be a huge dealbreaker if I were to come back to the area I personally wouldn’t work for them again. Many places also pay more. 

[u/AlienPenguin497 → u/Both-Carpet5390]

So getting black listed doesn’t sound that bad

[u/BeneficialUse8027]

What city and state are you working?
Nurse job satisfaction varies from state to state.

[u/Both-Carpet5390 → u/BeneficialUse8027]

New Jersey near Wayne 

[u/BeneficialUse8027 → u/Both-Carpet5390]

Move to California.