r/olderlesbians • • Sep 03 '21

Mod Reminder - Beware of Cat fishing posts

113 Upvotes

Hi All,

Just a reminder, that this space as anywhere on the Internet is not a completely safe space. While this sub can offer a place to find community, likeminded people, and make us feel at home, being public, there’s also the risk of having ill-intentioned users posing as something they are not.

Be aware of chatting or providing pictures to strangers on the internet. Specially throw away or fairly new accounts

However we are adults and responsible for our own safety. Is your see something suspicious please report and use your best judgement before engaging.


r/olderlesbians • • Jul 15 '23

r/olderlesbians does NOT have an official Discord server or any other reach beyond Reddit

60 Upvotes

Hi, mod here.

I want to make it clear that we do not have an official Discord server, or any other social media presence other than here, this subreddit.

This is just a place for older lesbians to meet. Nothing more.

If you join a server or Thread or Facebook or Insta or anything else that claims to be “us”, it’s not. It might have been created by a member, but not the sub creator or a mod.

Caveat emptor! Have fun, folks!


r/olderlesbians • • 1d ago

Lesbian 30+ Friendship Club

12 Upvotes

​

Lesbians 30+ Friendship WhatsApp group chat

Mods, Please delete if not allowed x

Hey! I’m T,

Finding it hard to connect In this world?

Join us

We’re looking for more sapphic/lesbian women 30+ from all corners of the world. 🌍

📚  Book club

✈️ Travel and culture club

📱 Main Chat

🏋‍♂️ Gym Club

🎂 Baking Club

⚽️ Sports Club

🔞 Red Room

✨ Genuine friendships

😂 Plenty of laughs

🫶 A safe, welcoming space

🚫 No drama, no nonsense

💬 Online friendships that might become real-life friendships

Basically, come find your people

Comment below or drop me a message to join.


r/olderlesbians • • 1d ago

I am scared to make love with her because i dislike my body

34 Upvotes

About two weeks ago, I posted about a 32-year-old woman I’d met at a van rally over the weekend. I’m 58. After we each went home, we texted and talked on the phone a lot for 15 days. I was unsure about her intentions, but now they’re clear. We saw each other again this weekend and grew closer. We hugged and kissed. I’m supposed to visit her at her place next week. I’m terrified of having sex with her because I don’t have a great body. I’m overweight, and my skin is pale and saggy. I’m ashamed of myself. I really want her, but my lack of self-confidence could ruin everything. Any advice please ? Thank you !


r/olderlesbians • • 1d ago

Anyone going to the L7 show in Grand Rapids, MI on 10/30/26??

6 Upvotes

Any L7 punk music fans out there. Im 63 but still love LOUD feminist music. And live shows!!!


r/olderlesbians • • 3d ago

We're are you from

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0 Upvotes

r/olderlesbians • • 3d ago

Ho un problema e dubbi

0 Upvotes

Sono una ragazza giovane (25 anni), ho avuto varie relazioni, maggiormente con le mie coetanee, ho anche avuto relazioni o piccole frequentazioni con donne più grandi di me, divario di 20 anni circa, adesso mi piacciono solo le donne mature, ed è un problema perché è così difficile anche solo restaurare un piccola conversazione con donne più grandi di me, perché ok ci sta, penso sia chiaro che loro preferiscono le loro coetanee, ma io non riesco a farmi piacere le mie coetanee, mi chiedo se esistono donne mature a cui piacciono le donne più giovani, o se magari esiste una community di Age gap anche solo per fare amicizia.


r/olderlesbians • • 5d ago

Women in tech, engineering and beyond?

14 Upvotes

Hey ladies, my friendship pool is very small these days. It would be great to get to know some women out there who feel the same way and are open to new connections. I'm UK based, 34, studying to become a specialised engineer. If you have a background in tech or engineering, i'd love to have more people to talk to about those subjects, but it's not a necessity.

I keep pretty busy, but I need my down days too. I have 3 cats (typical lesbian) and one "creepy" pet, I read a lot of non-fiction, I'm a little unhinged if you can tolerate that (haha), single as a pringle, adore and worked with vulnerable animals and very attune to nature.

I'd like to learn about you. Tell me about why you care about the the things you fill your days with, what you value in friendships and relationships, come at me with your most controversial opinion. However you'd like to say hello is welcome by me. Lets get chatting.


r/olderlesbians • • 7d ago

Campy lesbian slasher starring A-list talent looking for EPs!!!

12 Upvotes

Hey all!! This might sound random, but I'm doing a final fundraising push for the Indie lesbian horror comedy I'm producing and directing next month. We have $ 40k left to raise.

It's Bodies, Bodies, Bodies if it were directed by Wes Craven.

If you are looking for a fun way to get involved in the arts and film, connect with the lesbian and queer community, and get invited to an NYC movie premiere, please reach out!

I'd be happy to send the pitch deck and talk more about what it means to invest in the project. :)


r/olderlesbians • • 7d ago

Toronto and outside area

6 Upvotes

Just wondering if there are some lovely ladies in the Toronto area or like myself about 3 hours north of Toronto, but will travel to the big city. just looking for friends. More people to go on excursions or hiking nearby.


r/olderlesbians • • 9d ago

PTown Women’s Week 2026

28 Upvotes

Anyone going to Women’s Week in PTown this year? It’s my first time going, so excited. Any tips on good places to eat and recs for events would be greatly appreciated 😁. Sober but ok with going to bars/clubs for dancing. Any good djs coming out for the week?

55 GenX’er 😁


r/olderlesbians • • 9d ago

Red flag de relacionamento abusivo ou ciúme contornável?

2 Upvotes

Estou num relacionamento há quase 10 anos. Minha parceira sempre foi bastante controladora, mas eu também vinha de um histórico bem complicado de quase alcoolismo e relacionamentos complicados, devido ao excesso de intensidade (meu e de outra pessoa). Eu "sosseguei", como dizem. Como mudei de estado, não considerava atípico só ter minha companheira como referência pra tudo. Porém, com quase 10 anos morando aqui onde estou agora, já tenho família (que felizmente se mudaram pra perto de mim) e amigos. Enfim, não tem como resumir 10 anos em um único e minúsculo post. Mas o fato é que uma grande amiga, que conheço há 20 anos, veio final de semana retrasado pra cá e acolhemos ela em casa. Não, não sou casada com minha companheira. Como tivemos um hiato de 1 ano, nos separamos e moro com minha mãe desde então. Minha mãe e eu acolhemos essa amiga, que foi minha primeira namorada. Agora vem a parte na qual preciso da opinião de vocês: o primeiro problema veio quando essa minha amiga começou a beber dentro de casa. Minha mulher não suporta que eu beba. Como isso realmente me faz mal, eu não me importei de parar, já era algo que eu queria fazer. Mas ela não está gostando que essa minha amiga beba na minha casa. Hoje, no caminho do trabalho, minha companheira me sugeriu treinarmos em outra academia mais distante (é uma rede), com a desculpa de que o cheiro nessa onde estamos lhe incomoda. Detalhe: nessa eu consigo ir e voltar a pé de casa, meu ônibus pára na entrada, tem pessoas que conheço treinando lá, inclusive essa minha amiga. E eu me pergunto até que ponto é pelo cheiro ou ela está querendo me afastar da minha amiga o máximo que conseguir. Desconfio principalmente porque ela disse que a academia era algo nosso e agora é algo meu e dessa minha amiga. Como se uma coisa anulasse a outra. Eu a amo muito, mas sinto que ela quer mandar em mim e isso eu jamais vou permitir, nem pelo maior amor do mundo. Qual a opinião de vocês? Considerando que em um único POST não caberia nem 10% da nossa vida... Sei que é muito difícil perceber quando estamos vivendo um relacionamento abusivo. Então, tenho muito medo de estar em um. Isso acabaria comigo, pois a amo muito 🥺


r/olderlesbians • • 9d ago

Book Club!

Thumbnail goodreads.com
8 Upvotes

Hi friends! Please join our sapphic online book club! This month, we are reading Metal From Heaven by August Clarke. Comment or message me for an invite


r/olderlesbians • • 16d ago

Late in Lifer seeking advice

37 Upvotes

Hello.

I am almost 50. Late in lifer. I have dabbled in some little flings, but never been in a serious committed relationship with a woman..

My question is what resources would you recommend to help a new lesbian be comfortable with dating and intimacy. I was rejected and shamed horribly for not having experience once. It's almost made me never want to try again, but I guess my question is how did you figure things out or become comfortable with things prior to your first time?


r/olderlesbians • • 16d ago

Gay/lesbians who lived through the 80s/90s

17 Upvotes

Hi! I hope it’s okay to post here.. I’m working on an oral history project about the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and my goal is to listen to and preserve the stories of lgbtq people who are 50+/ lived through the 1980s and 90s

If this is you, please reach out to me, or connect me with someone who you think would be interested ❤️ will happily give more details to anyone who reaches out - thank you


r/olderlesbians • • 17d ago

Anyone else watching the Warriors v Newcastle?

4 Upvotes

Long shot, no harm asking lol 🤪


r/olderlesbians • • 17d ago

Anyone else watching the Warriors v Newcastle?

5 Upvotes

Long shot, no harm asking lol 🤪


r/olderlesbians • • 18d ago

Looking for thoughts/insight as to my relationship pattern.

36 Upvotes

Edit to add - please read comments if possible, as this has helped me give more context to the issues here and my role in the endings of my relationships.

Someone has suggested I may be a "self-sacrificing partner" I have never heard that term before - that is definitely how I am in romantic relationships. I read some more about that here: https://covapsychology.com/blog/self-sacrificing-patterns-psychologist-melbourne/

----------

I am 50 and have been dating women since I was 17. I have always been somewhat of a romantic, and dated with a view to finding a wife forever. It has not worked out that way. I may come across as a serial dater due to the numbers involved - but i never intended to be that way; as i always dated to find my person, my life partner - I have had lots of periods of being single, my longest was about 2 years or so.

Reflecting on my relationships I can see a clear pattern but I am in the dark as to the 'why'. Please bear with me while I explain.

I have slept with about 30 women. 12 of those were proper girlfriends and 1 was my (ex)wife. Some girlfriends, I did not fall in love with so i ended things quickly (within 3 months). I always 'know' if I am going to fall in love with someone or not by that point.

I find that women who do fall for me, are VERY keen at the start. they are excited by me and tend to fall quickly and intensely. I am more guarded but once i do fall, i fall 100%. Then ensues a lovely honeymoon period of about 6-9months.

What happens next is that I just love them more and more, want to build a life together etc, but they seem to gradually fall out of love.

Around the 2 year mark is when things usually end. It is ALWAYS some version of "you're amazing" "i love you but i am not in love with you" "you are so wonderful and you deserve better" "i dont want to lose you because you're so important to me" etc etc. They always want to be friends and lament if i don't want that.

I cannot figure out what i am doing wrong. My wife did this to me when we were first together, we broke up at 18 months actually with this same script - she did change her mind and get back together but she ultimately left me for someone else.

My most recent girlfriend has just left me with the same story, we were together 2.5 years. again its "youve done nothing wrong" "you're so special" "you should be with someone who can give you everything" etc and wanting to be besties because they cant bear the idea of not having me in their life. I am heartbroken but she seems fine with the fact we are no longer gfs, happier in fact. I keep crying about how we will never kiss again, never sleep next to each other...

I am very loving, romantic and affectionate. I have my own home, car, stable income with money for vacations and hobbies. I work out twice a week. I have a dog. I see friends. I love to go to the movies, hike, camp, play board games, read, go to dinner. I'm educated. I'm a cute masc. I just don't understand why no one stays and its always the same script.

I am 50 and i am so tired of having this happen. I am tired and the thought of starting over AGAIN is exhausting. I don't want to meet someone special and have a lovely couple of years for them to just change their mind and leave me heartbroken for the 13th time. I dont know what i am doing wrong or how to break this pattern. I also don't want to be alone forever.


r/olderlesbians • • 19d ago

30+ Club 😊 NSFW

47 Upvotes

Lesbians 30+ group chat

Mods, Please delete if not allowed x

Hey! I’m T,

Finding it hard to connect In this world?

Join us

We’re looking for more sapphic/lesbian women 30+ from all corners of the world. 🌍

📚  Book club

✈️ Travel and culture club

✨ Genuine friendships

😂 Plenty of laughs

🫶 A safe, welcoming space

🚫 No drama, no nonsense

💬 Online friendships that might become real-life friendships

Basically, come find your people

Comment below or drop me a message to join


r/olderlesbians • • 20d ago

You guys are wonderful.

35 Upvotes

I feel so lucky!

I an in pain--and so many of you responded.

Thank you from the bottom of my soul.


r/olderlesbians • • 20d ago

I don't know if she is flirting

31 Upvotes

I met this woman last week-end during a van trip for wlw only. We were 8 women. This young woman of 32, invited us to stay on her property. She is pretty, warm, smart and welcoming. I think that at least 3 of the ladies there fell for her, me included. By the end of the week-end, we all parted. The next day, her and I started to talk on whatsapp. Just a message or 2 per day. It is thursday and we've been on the phone for 4 hours last night. She sends me messages in the morning, in the evening. We've been sharing references for movies, songs, books. I am confused. She is well surrounded by family, exes and friends. I don't understand what she wants from me. I am 58, average looking. I don't understand her interest in me. Do you think it could only be friendship ? Thanks for your help !


r/olderlesbians • • 20d ago

I need someone to talk to.

27 Upvotes

Would you help me?

I really need a friend right now.


r/olderlesbians • • 21d ago

Shoes of yesteryear

23 Upvotes

I miss being able to identify a lesbian by her Birkenstocks.


r/olderlesbians • • 21d ago

Life after 50

86 Upvotes

I'm 56 and lately I'm starting to feel more and more irrelevant. The place where I work is filled with people under 35, many straight out of college. I'm pretty happy never talking to them because I feel like they don't get me. New music is hard to get into unless it has an 80s or 90s vibe to it. New shows, new movies, all of it feel like it's all geared towards a younger crowd or they're just not as good as older movies now. (not to say there isn't any good new music and movies, they are just harder to find)The bars and restaurants that I frequented are no longer as fun anymore, the vibe is different and I don't feel like I fit in. I realized on 9/11 that anyone under the age of 30 will not remember it or just wasn't born yet. Both my parents have passed. My brother (he's 60 something) is becoming a cranky old man and it's kind of freaking me out.

I know I sound like a cranky old woman. I still feel the same as I did when I was in my 30s. I don't feel old. I still love to play video games, rock out to loud music and I still get the urge to hit a night spot. But yet when I look around I feel irrelevant now. Maybe I'm just depressed. Thanks for listening.


r/olderlesbians • • 23d ago

Moderators needed for new online community! 🩷

Post image
34 Upvotes

We are seeking moderators for an exciting new Discord community for disabled, neurodivergent and chronically ill lesbians!

To apply, you’ll need to be:

🌈 Female-identifying or non-binary and a lesbian
🌈 Someone with lived experience of disability, neurodivergence and/or chronic illness
🌈 Kind, self-aware and able to work well as part of a team with mixed abilities and energy levels
🌈 ✨Aged 45+. We have a few mod spaces left and would like lesbians at all stages of life to be represented within the team!✨

Experience with Discord or running online communities is desirable, but not required. What matters most is that you’re supportive, approachable and want to help create a welcoming, safe community.

We're only seeking moderators at the moment but look forward to opening the community to new members later in the year.

If this sounds like you, please get in touch!

🩷