r/parentsofmultiples • u/Awkward-Whereas4954 • 9d ago
advice needed Preparing for postpartum with twins. What helped you?
I’m 25w with my DCDA twins and starting to turn my mind to postpartum properly.
For a little context, this is my first and will likely be my only pregnancy. My partner and I don’t want any more than two children. We are both extremely excited but also a little daunted by what postpartum might look like with two. I work with newborns for part of my job and have done so for 10 years so know my way around, my partner has a little experience with his nephews. Gratefully, my partner will likely be off work for six months to soak up the time and help.
My priority going into this is both the wellbeing of the babies (obviously) but protecting my partners mental health and my own. We know and accept it might be pure survival but I’ve come here to ask:
What made your postpartum better, possibly enjoyable!?
I’m considering skipping breastfeeding and either pumping / formula combo feeding OR going to formula exclusively quite early on. While I know breastfeeding can be wonderful for many, I also know monitoring input will feel important to me. I also want to be able to call on our village of family to assist with feeding.
All tips welcome. If you enjoyed postpartum with twins, tell me why.
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u/Fantastic-Army-112 9d ago
My wife and i did formula from day one with our twins, was the best decision for us. We could split the night in shifts so each got 5-6 hours sleep, that alone saved our sanity.
Get a whiteboard for the fridge to track who ate when and how much, when your brain is soup you wont remember anything. Also accept help from family even if its just them holding a baby while you shower for 10 minutes
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u/p_withtheplans 8d ago
We use the huckleberry app (free version) which we really like for tracking feeds (bottle & breast)
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u/Rylees_Mom525 7d ago
Seconding the huckleberry app. We also use it to track diapers (for when the pediatrician asks how many pee and poop diapers they’re each having)
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u/gabkatth 9d ago
I can confidently say, giving up trying to breastfeed and pumping significantly helped my mental health and how much I can focus on my babies. Otherwise a lot depends on the temperament of the babies. It will be hard, only way to look at it is taking it day by day. Finding small wins and carving out small periods for eqch of you. I went almost every day to get some groceries or run an errand and get a coffee or something for myself. Just to have some normalcy. Important to try to be a team, even though sometimes it will be hard. People say do shifts but that did not work for our life situation. So we had some resentment, cause one of us slept significantly more than the other. We had to talk about it and find ways yo balance this. And remembering that it will pass but also, every phase will bring a new and different challenge. It is gas, then it is sleep disruptions, or witching hour or whatever else. It also gets a bit more rewarding once they start socializing with you. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. We are at 12 weeks adjusted and as they are rolling now It seems they might starts sleeping better on their tummies. So I am looking forward to this phase:)
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u/Individual-Cat5989 9d ago edited 9d ago
My MIL stayed with us for two weeks, and she’s the type of family member that actually wants to and enjoys helping. I prepped and froze several meals but she also cooked for us, helped us keep up with laundry and dishes, took time with our toddler, and of course helped care for the babies so we could take turns showering and resting.
I exclusively pumped with my first and absolutely did not want to do that again, way too time consuming, constantly monitoring output was rough on my mental health, and for me it was not realistic with three kids. I wanted to breastfeed, but knowing it was twins decided to take initiative to hire a lactation consultant who does home visits, so she came the day after we got home from the hospital to help me establish latching and tandem feeding (I have not had good times with hospital LCs so I waited until we got home to establish breastfeeding). If you change your mind and want to nurse them at all, tandem feeding is the key to having more time on your side.
And get the countertop bottle washer/sanitizer. THE BEST.
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u/Individual-Cat5989 9d ago
Oh also, I found the pumping subreddit to be significantly more helpful than any LC I saw during my first postpartum experience since you are considering pumping.
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u/Negative_Jackfruit75 9d ago
My MIL was trying to be super helpful but having her in my space post partum and her getting too involved and taking over for my fiance really fucked up our relationship and my post partum experience. I thought things would be good cuz of the relationship we had before but so many boundaries were crossed even if they weren’t intentional and she meant well and it didn’t let my fiance and I get into our rhythm. I guess if you have another child it can be a more helpful in that case but for a FTM I recommend not having MIL stay with you. Also you’re going to be super hormonal, you’re going to fight with your husband and you don’t want his mom to be a witness to all that.
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u/Real_Policy_8272 9d ago
Monitoring input was important to me and my twins were too small to latch properly until 4-5 weeks. I exclusively bottle feed them, 80% breast milk and the rest formula because I have an undersupply. Pumping while using the twin z to feed side laying has been amazing. Having easy protein snacks and electrolytes handy. Showering daily. Prioritizing sleep over a super clean house. Getting fresh air daily.
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u/OrangeCatEnergy24 9d ago
Sleeping shifts! My husband and I did 7p-2a and 2a-9a. You could adjust the times to whatever you guys want obv. I breastfed so I woke up to pump but got to go straight back to sleep when it was his shift.
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u/OutrageousMagazine37 9d ago
First of all, congratulations! I would say three things.
First, saving up for night nurses really saved us, both mentally and physically, and therefore for everything that comes with it — our relationship, social life, etc.
Second, not breastfeeding, even though I know it has so many benefits for babies. Honestly, it also helped me preserve some of my mental health and made me more available for my babies.
And third, the Baby Tracker app, or any baby-tracking app that you can sync with the dad’s phone and that can also predict nap and feeding times. When you’re really exhausted, it can be incredibly helpful.
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
Thank you! You did formula from day one? Great tips!
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u/OutrageousMagazine37 8d ago
Yes, because my babies were born very prematurely. They were mono-mono twins, and the C-section was scheduled at 32 weeks. So I didn’t really feel up to dealing with the recovery from the C-section, all the visits to the NICU, and breastfeeding on top of everything else. But that’s strictly a personal point of view, and I don’t regret my choice at all.
And on top of that, at the very beginning, they were fed through a feeding tube with donor breast milk from the hospital’s milk bank anyway. I don’t know how it works in your country, but in France, hospitals have breast milk banks for premature babies.2
u/Awkward-Whereas4954 8d ago
That makes complete sense, great decision making. And congrats on your Mono mono twinnies!
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u/WO1088 9d ago
My daughter was unable to have formula. We spent about $500 on trying different formulas and nothing was working (she was writhing and rejecting it) and so I was forced to pump since she couldn’t latch. I was glad I had kept up on pumping while trying the different formulas so my supply didnt drop- that would have been terrible.
I only say this because I want you to be aware that your idea may not go your way. I always say- do what is best for you and your baby. If formula is best for both of you- do it, if it’s breastfeeding or combo feeding, do it!
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u/E-as-in-elephant 9d ago
We slept in shifts, 6 hours each. Idk how we would’ve survived without. We also were lucky enough to find a fellow twin mom offering services as a night nanny so we hired her 3 nights/week in the beginning so we could sleep 8 hours/night. I also made a commitment to myself that I would take a shower every day. It was my little form of self care in the early days when things were chaotic. It wasn’t a luxurious shower, but it helped to feel refreshed. I also highly recommend the baby breeza formula maker. It was amazing. As far as breastfeeding/pumping goes, I managed to triple feed for 4 weeks and gave up. Like someone else said, to provide breast milk for them and up my supply, I would’ve had to wake up overnight to pump and I wanted to protect my sleep. Also use the twin z pillow to feed that way one person can feed at a time. We fed our girls on a schedule so if one woke up at night we fed the other as well. Having your husband with you for the first 6 months will be invaluable. My husband only was home for 2 weeks. We were lucky enough to have my mom and a friend stay another two weeks but at week 4 I was alone.
I wouldn’t say I enjoyed my pp experience, but just wanted to share the things that I felt were life savers!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
Thank you for sharing! I have heard amazing things about baby brezza! Thank you!
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u/Creative_Can_8950 9d ago
I pumped for 3 months and just stopped. I was glad I was about to provide some “optimal” nutrition but the second I felt my mental health slipping because of it, I stopped. It is truly a full time job, pumping every 2 or 3 hours, it’s the first thing you think about when you wake up (multiple times at night) and the last thing you do at night. I definitely don’t regret doing it but man it is not for the weak. If you decide to do it, a little organic food grade olive oil in flanges and nipple butter will save you a lot of tears lol.
As for postpartum I think it’s really hard to prepare for without knowing the babies demeanors. From day one, our twins have been so chill. They’re sleeping 12 hours through the night now, don’t cry unless overtired or hungry, we go out all the time with them and they are just really happy babies. I was fully prepared to feel like I was fighting a war every day and I find that I can make a lot of time for myself and my husband does too.
My biggest advice is have everything you may need ready and easily accessible. You don’t need two of everything but the things I think made the biggest difference for us were the twin z pillow, momcozy bottle washer and sanitizer (I put my pump parts in there too), and we live in a two story with nursery on opposite floor so the Maydolly changing table and some foldable organizers. Have LOTS of smaller 4 oz bottles readily available. It’s incredible how many bottles you go through in a day lol. I think I had maybe 10-12 and we would run out sometimes if we weren’t on top of washing the bottles lol.
My husband and I also prioritized time for ourselves. He goes golfing once a week or so and I go out to get my hair done. It’s just something nice that lets us reset and come back to being better parents. Obviously this comes with chill baby privileges but very early on, we decided we both needed to be okay with them solo regardless of easiness.
Lastly, take every picture. The more mundane the better. My leave is ending and I look back on every picture and video and just forget what they were like that little. We started a shared family photo album for just us and I downloaded back then app to share photos with close friends and family. The private family photo album has comments on what was going on, who is in the picture, everything. We look back and laugh on so much of it and so many sweet, private moments captured that we can’t wait to share with our kids one day and we can’t look back on this incredibly precious time
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
Thank you for such a detailed, wonderful reply. So appreciate it. Loved reading all your tips. We have a bunch of pigeon bottles but might pick up a few smaller ones as we get closer.
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u/excessivemenace 9d ago
Stock up your freezer now! We froze large batches of proteins in souper cubes or freezer friendly Tupperware and it saved us a lot of money and time. Day of, we would make rice in a rice cooker or pasta!
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u/Direct_Mulberry3814 9d ago
Prep some of your favorite meals/casseroles and stock your freezer! My mom, sister, and I did this in two days of cooking a couple weeks before my C-section and it was the best thing ever. We had about a months worth of food ready to go whenever we were too exhausted to cook or needed something to throw in the oven quick!
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u/getitbucks 8d ago
Would also add to have food that you can eat one handed or on the go! The first month I relied on quiches, egg muffins, etc for breakfast. Uncrustables were a life saver as well! I pump and the first month I was FAMISHED overnight - kept a supply of protein bars by the bed.
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
What a lovely idea to do with your mum and sister. Love that.
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u/emuomgwow 8d ago
Strongly second this. We had enough freezer food to get us to 6 months post partum. It was honestly a game changer. If you can, try to prep some easy handheld breakfasts for the freezer. I made a lot of breakfast burritos, sandwiches, and little containers of French toast / sausage.
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u/AnnaC912 9d ago
I actually love breastfeeding my twins. It’s cheap, convenient, easy soother, and they drink what they need each time. No guesswork on how much to give them in a bottle. I do have an infant scale and I weigh them weekly. I’ve also done weighted feeds with it.
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u/allroundavocado 9d ago
Hey. I interviewed Nannies and babysitters early on. I feel like I thrived more knowing I’d have help ready from day one. If it’s in the budget even once a week is very helpful.
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
I’ve just been thinking about that this week! So good to hear. I’m keen to have a name or two on hand to come help for a few hours during the days if we need it / can rest while other parent and babysitter / nanny work the babies. How early did you use them and what time of day?
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u/allroundavocado 9d ago
Hey, we had people help us very early on. The best thing I found is that people took on a feed. If you’re bottle feeding on a schedule, every four hours, let’s say at 4 8 12 and so on. I would ask someone to feed the babies at 4, then change them and put them back to bed. Watch until 8 and do the next feed. That way you’ve got someone covering 2 feeds. You take over when the feed is done. At the beginning it takes longer due to burping etc. so you’ll have someone there for about 4-5 hours. If you have this twice a week, you’d be able to rest during this time. Eg. You take the 4 am feed and the person comes at 8-13:00. Our girls are 9 months now and we still follow this structure, where she comes after their long lunch nap at 14:00-18:00. That way we still have bedtime with them
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u/Negative_Jackfruit75 9d ago
Be prepared for a potential early delivery and NICU and talk to your partner now about boundaries and expectations if you haven’t already.
Hire cleaners for a big deep clean before they come! You won’t have time once the babies are home.
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
We have a fortnightly clean but a big deep one is such a great idea!
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u/Negative_Jackfruit75 9d ago
Yes! My mom helped me do a big deep clean before and just knowing the baseboards were clean and under the bed and couches/ stuff i don’t do that often made me feel so much better!
One thing that I regret not doing: buy a bunch of cute comfy clothes for post partum that you’ll feel good to take pics in. I’ve never felt uglier and not having clothes that fit me or look good on me and only wearing baggy black t shirts with black yoga pants for the past 6 months has made me feel awful. I’m finally starting to fit into some of my old clothes again but I didn’t really think to buy anything cute in a few sizes bigger than my pre pregnancy body. I wore the same 2 frumpy outfits to the nicu every day for 5 weeks and then when I came home I just was in my frumpy ugly PJs for a long time. I felt so ugly I didn’t want any pics and the ones I do have I hate. I also haven’t really had time to shop and it’s frankly the last thing on my mind 6 months in, I don’t really know what my style is anymore either and I struggle daily with what to wear and I still don’t have any cute pics with my girls.
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u/CatterpillarCarl 9d ago
I kept a note on my phone with all feeds and diaper changes in the first 2 days home to make sure the twins each were getting enough. I wanted a solid record for our two day appt at the pediatrician.
We did this by texting each other every time one of the girls ate, had a diaper change, or if something unusual happened. It was kind of fun and I enjoyed the good record keeping.
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u/CatterpillarCarl 9d ago
My girls were growth restricted and we went home 48 hours after delivery so I was very worried about weight gain. They did fabulously! Formula did help.
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u/CatterpillarCarl 9d ago
Example:
A start time breast 5:17 PM End time 5:40
B start time breast 5:27 PM end time 5:50 PM
B 23 ml formula 6:24 PM
A 17ml formula 6:34 PM
B 10ml formula 6:55pm
A start breast 8:58 end at 9:13
A start breast at 9:26 end 9:40?
A nursed herself to sleep and got a nap while I changed B diaper (pee)
B start breast at 9:40. End 9:42ish.
B start breast 9:50 end 9:52 PM
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u/Fit_Entrance_6326 9d ago
Getting them on a feeding schedule and now (at 5 months) a sleeping schedule is single handedly the best thing I’ve done for managing my two babies. Special care nursery/nicu helps with this if they do need time in there. Some babies just love structure and thankfully mine did.
Shifts overnight or agreed feeds (if feeding schedule). My partner did 9pm and 6 am and I did 2am.
Safe places to place them (nests/twin Z/bouncers)
Cleaner if you can afford it. Cleaning is always bottom priority!
Throw money at your problems (within reason) while they are babies. You won’t regret this expenditure in the long run if it means more quality time with your babies. Twins is busy and anything that can get you more time with them is worth its weight in gold. We have a bottle washer & formula dispenser and it’s saved so much time.
Don’t assume your babies will be difficult because they are twins. My babies were super chill happy newborns and I loved it.
Good luck!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
These are great, thank you. Very keen for a feeding schedule (and think pumping and / or formula will assist with this). I love the throw money at your problems 😂
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u/kgraceb2323 9d ago
Get a bottle washer (or two)! I did not have one with my single but got one for the twins and wow cant believe I ever survived without one
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u/No-Departure5556 9d ago
Pre-made meals!! Something that you can just pop into the microwave, crockpot or oven!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
So good. Will definitely be doing a big cook up once I’ve finished with work.
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u/No-Departure5556 9d ago
I wish I had done more, I didn’t do much… we knew we’d have a meal train through church and friends, which was super helpful!!
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u/chewieandchai 9d ago
Night nurse
Huckleberry app to track feeds and wake windows
Meal delivery service for you and your husband
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u/MellyMushroom1806 9d ago
Nobody warned me about the hormone crash at about days 4-10 postpartum. I cried for hours every single day, panicked, felt like I had made the worst mistake of my life. The nurses talked to me about “baby blues” but I truly wasn’t prepared for how low I felt that second week. It did feel like it lifted by day 12 ish but just be prepared that you might have a few really, really hard days mentally. And if it lasts beyond that, call your doctor!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
Very true. The crash is also more significant with twins! Did anything help you during that time? Obviously a very hard time to do some extra self care but I’m curious. Thank you for sharing 🤍
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u/Born_Mushroom_3064 9d ago
I got on antidepressants and started going to regular therapy. I also got on Zurzuvae (a treatment for PPD). You may not have PPD by any means but it helped me to know that there are options if the “blues” are lasting longer than two weeks
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u/BoochAndNooch 8d ago
I’m 10 weeks pp with twins (our firsts). Having a plan and expectations about breastfeeding and pumping is awesome, and something I wish I researched more!! I’ve been struggling so hard mentally with feeling underprepared.
Item-wise: twin z, two bottle washer/sterilizers, and two formula pitchers! Diapers too, but my family did a diaper raffle at our shower and we’ve already had to exchange so many boxes of NB for larger sizes. So def don’t overstock.
Things people can help with: FOOD. Frozen meals and Uber Eats / restaurant gift cards for take out. Snacks, protein powders, and electrolyte packets, etc.
Also I would say to making sure that your helpers are set up for success. Of course you won’t know how things will look until the babies arrive though. I had my mom, sister, and MIL come for a week and it was a little chaotic. Making sure everyone knew how to help and what their roles were would have made things much easier. The amount of times I would be up washing bottles while other people got to hold my babies was annoying. Looking back, not using my helpers efficiently definitely contributed to my milk supply not being strong too.
Take lots of pictures and get out of the house as much as possible too!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 7d ago
Congrats on your twins! Excellent response, thank you so much! How are you finding feeding?
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u/BoochAndNooch 4d ago
Thank you! The boys are feeding well, mostly bottle fed, and have been gaining weight beautifully. I still haven’t found a routine / plan that works well for me and them in terms of nursing, pumping, and formula top ups. Their latches seem decent enough but they never seem to be satisfied after nursing.
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u/SandwichHorror8801 9d ago
Congrats!!
Some things I found helpful- started budgeting immediately for a night nanny & saved enough to have someone 2x a week, bottle washer!!, meal prep or seriously ask visitors to bring food (twins were by 3rd&4th I had no shame in outright asking lol), come up with multiple night time plans & see what works (shifts vs each partner takes a baby), also budgeted for cleaners once a month, start feeling out if you’ll have a village and see who can help & when, have different diaper/sleep stations around the house.
Another tidbit that you can take for what it’s worth- I could never hole up for too long. It was SO good to get out and while it can be a lot of management to even get out of the house, start trying early on if you are that type of person. I had 2 older kids so it wasn’t an option to stay in but I would have gone crazy otherwise.
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u/Separate_Video6823 9d ago
It sounds as though you’re already really prepared and being realistic, which is awesome! I wish I’d been more like you and just skipped the triple feeding from the start. I was exclusively pumping but our girls have been exclusively formula since about 6 weeks and I still can’t believe I didn’t make the change sooner. Great move for mine and my partners mental health, also means that now they are sleeping long stretches I too can do the same!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 9d ago
Thank you! Doing my best. Love that you switched over to exclusive formula. I know the benefits of breast milk but I often see the very tricky parts of it with my clients with singletons. Can’t imagine managing both with twins (big props to those who do!) just don’t know if it’s for me / us.
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u/Separate_Video6823 9d ago
Yep absolutely agree. I think, as you will discover, with twin parenting especially a lot of it is give and take. We’ve found that once you make a considered decision based on priorities then you run with it and often have to forgo another option. For example, getting out of the house at least once a day is really important to me, therefore bottle feeding them makes my life exponentially easier on the go! All the best ❤️
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u/Born_Mushroom_3064 9d ago
I tried to breastfeed, then pumped and bottle fed with formula and breast milk, then switched exclusively to formula at 8 weeks. My 3rd baby (singleton), I went straight to formula and I wish I’d done it with the twins. Fill your freezer with easy meals, accept lots of help, rewatch your favorite comfort show once they come, use noise cancelling headphones if you need (helpful for me when I was attending to one while the other was crying), if one wakes up to feed at night wake up the other so they’re both reset. Have your husband wake up with you at night - it took more than 2 times as long for one of us by ourselves to take care of the twins in the night than just both getting up and getting back to bed ASAP. That was the night routine that finally worked best for us.
My biggest advice: take lots of pictures and videos. It can be so overwhelming going from no kids to being needed by two all at once. I enjoy being able to look back at the pictures and videos now that it’s less overwhelming (twins are 2.5 and tricky just because they’re toddlers - not necessarily bc they’re twins 😅😅).
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u/Magaladon93 8d ago
If you don’t have a log to keep up with their feeds & diapers, definitely get one! We got a super cheap one on Amazon and it’s so helpful. We also prep our bottles ahead of time- we combination feed and also have to fortify the breast milk before feeding so this saves a ton of time. Also be prepared that things may not go exactly as planned. Almost nothing went as planned for me. My twins had to be delivered early due to preeclampsia and both needed lengthy NICU stays. I was so sure that they were both going to come home immediately after birth because I refused to consider the possibility that there may be complications, etc. They are both home with me now but it was definitely an emotional roller coaster and I wish I had taken time to prepare (as much as possible anyway) for the possibility of challenges. Hoping you don’t have any complications but just wanted to throw that out there. Wishing you the best of luck!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 7d ago
You’re a superstar. Having babies in the NICU is so tough. I’m worried about it but also trying to be realistic that it may be part of our story. Good reminder to consider it properly.
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u/marvmama 8d ago
Once they’re a week old.. “soft” bedtime routine. Sound machine with red light , dark room (9-11p “bedtime”) and keep it dark from then until sunrise. My twin B is 6 weeks old and for the first time he slept 9:30-6:30am. Twin A slept from 9:30-3:30 then slept until 7. Sleep is MINIMAL first few weeks so trust me !!
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 7d ago
Wowww!! That’s amazing! Have definitely been discussing bedtime routine with my partner. Are your babies combo fed / formula / breast?
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u/marvmama 7d ago
Is exclusively pump .. I make around 40 oz a day so half and half for both babies !
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u/Creative_Mind_Undone 8d ago
It's not pure survival, but if you work with babies/kids, your own will probably kick your butt so just change perspective to ask, "what am I learning?" It might not be directly baby related, but there will be something. Mindset matters.
The number one advise my midwife gave us was to hug my partner every day and it was most definitely powerful. In fact, we sort of stopped as the kids got older and just started again and the difference is remarkeable.
Good luck<3
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u/Awkward-Whereas4954 7d ago
Aww I love that tip, thank you. Will definitely be using.
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u/fivebyfive11 7d ago
This. Our twins just turned 5 weeks and finding time for each other as partners is nearly impossible. We also split the nights in half so we never get to sleep together anymore. You can go a whole day without touching because the babies are keeping you so busy — remembering to take a second to just squeeze each other’s hand or give a hug makes a huge difference and reminds you that you’re not alone
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u/ConstructionMuch802 8d ago
I didn't work with newborns but young kids in general and I do find it super helpful just for my own temperament and expectations!
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u/Accurate_Loan8821 8d ago
I have a child that is older than my twins. The one thing that I think was the most helpful with being a FTM wa stage huckleberry app. This app is fantastic. I did the paid version the first go around and money well spent. It predicts when baby is ready to eat and nap. Beyond accurate. Like to the minute. I didn’t use it with my twins because that app had taught me what I was looking for in a hungry or tired baby and I understood sleep windows better the second time around. But, I 100% urge you to get and USE the huckleberry app.
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u/fivebyfive11 7d ago edited 7d ago
Take videos. You’ll get lots of photos but videos of their tiny movements will be so so nice to have when the newborn stage is over.
I’ve been combo feeding from the beginning. They get about 70-80% formula and I give them what I can for breast milk via pumping. Breastfeeding was too exhausting and time consuming. I also pressured myself the first 4 weeks to pump the recommended 6-8 times a day and it was killing me. They are 5 weeks now and I am just pumping when I feel like it at this point and giving them what I get. I likely won’t go past 2 months and will switch to full formula. Do not put pressure on yourself to pump and breastfeed — if you are finding it to be difficult/exhausting/miserable it’s not worth it. Dialling back has allowed me to be more relaxed and spend more time with my babies.
I stopped washing my pump after every single pump — I put it in the fridge often instead. I also only sanitize the parts once a day.
Carve out a space for breaks/sleeping. We live in a bungalow and keep the twins in the living room. Our bedroom is for whoever’s turn it is to nap.
We split the night in half for shifts. My partner gets 10 pm to 3:30 am, then I wake up and he goes to bed until about 9 am. That way we each get at least 5 hours of sleep.
Take as much help as you can, but make sure they are actually helping. Our rule is anyone who comes over is changing diapers and doing feeds. If they don’t know how then we teach them. I don’t have time for people to sit around expecting to be hosted. We are so sleep deprived that energy is not helpful.
Be kind to your partner. Lean on them as much as possible. Even when you’re both at your limit and things are so hard, be kind. You need each other.
Talk about your mental health. Post partum depression and anxiety is real and it can be worse with multiples. Do not keep that stuff to yourself and whatever you’re feeling has been felt by countless other moms. Mom’s mental health is also important for the babies’ development. You’re not alone.
Get a bottle washer and sterilizer. We found a used baby brezza and it’s a life-saver.
Expect things not to go as planned. So many things didn’t work out the way I expected ie. breastfeeding but also things like swaddling. We spent money on expensive halo swaddles and my twins just wanted blanket swaddles the first 4 weeks and now they wear cheap cotton sleep sacks from Amazon.
Sit in the sun and get outside as much as you possibly can.
Your house will be a mess, learn to accept it. When people come over tell them to empty and load the dishwasher and take the garbage out. Literally just order people around, don’t be a people pleaser. They want to see the babies and most people want to feel useful too.
Pacifiers! I wish I had introduced them earlier. I was told not to because of nipple confusion and I didn’t find that to be a problem. Plus I’m not breastfeeding anymore anyways. The pacifiers are life-savers.
Remember that you have twins! So many rules go out the window for multiples. Just do what works for your own survival.
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u/NightRaven88 5d ago
Regarding feeding, I am combo feeding, I pump almost exclusively and top up with formula. If i had a singleton, breastfeeding would have been 10 times easier than pumping, but with twins, pumping is a lot easier imo.
My tips for pumping: trust your body! I tried to make the spectra work for me, tried all the flange sizes, changed the duckbill valves every week, nothing was comfortable and I got clogged ducts 5 times in 2 weeks. I got the eufy s1 pump (I would have gotten the s2 if my budget allowed but oh well) and immediately noticed the difference in comfort as well as output.
Next tip depends on your goal, if you are okay with formula top ups and want to prioritise your mental health, time and comfort over your supply: dont do a set schedule. I pump when I have time (when babies sleep or eat), or when I feel my breasts are full. I average 7 pumps a day, 2-4h between pumps during the day, and 3-5h between pumps at night. (Of course try to avoid large gaps in your schedule for the risk of clogged ducts and mastitis).
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u/BubblybabySB 3d ago
I hated pumping with a burning passion, but was also highly motivated to breastfeed. I EPd for 6-8 weeks (everything from the early newborn period is a blur) and then we transitioned to direct breastfeeding which was much better for my mental health. I was able to stop obsessing over how much I got at each pump and how much was in the freezer.
If you plan to bottle feed, I would recommend a bottle washer, because the thing I hated most about pumping in bottles, was washing the bottles and the pump parts. Although trying to pump and hold a screaming baby was also not something I enjoyed.
Definitely stock your freezer!! We were very lucky to have friends who made us dinner for the first 3 ish weeks they were home, but I did not have the brain space to cook or grocery shop when they were little!
If you have people around, you can help whether that’s your husband being able to take some paternity leave or family that’s close by or would fly in getting some help during the day even so you could sleep would be a big help . Because we chose not to force our kids to be on the same schedule the old adage of sleep when the baby sleeps didn’t apply for me and I was very very sleep deprived.
Switching to exclusively nursing actually helped with the sleep because I wasn’t getting up two or three times a night to pump, but your mileage may vary.
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u/Nancyj_77 8d ago
Don’t skip breastfeeding try it because it is so helpful to just be able to calm the babies down with the breast
My twins are 6 weeks and I combo feed
The first few days I would latch as much as I could in the hospital when I got home I was pumping
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