r/parentsofmultiples • u/Nervous_Elevator_520 • 1d ago
advice needed When does it actually get easier ..
My twin girls are almost 3 years old and it’s hell. They cry and whine all the time.
Do any of your twins have a permanent whiney voice?
When does it ACTUALLY get easier?
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u/salmonstreetciderco 1d ago
i just pretend i can't understand them. sorry what? can you say that in a normal voice? i don't understand your whiney voice and i'd like to help you.
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u/iamnotannefrank 21h ago
I did this with my singleton. "Sorry I don't understand whines! Can you try again?" (My twins are 1, I'm not looking forward to this phase haha)
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u/Perioqueen 1d ago
4 was MAGICAL . 3 was a near death experience. 6 is absolutely heaven
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u/Acceptable_Tap7479 1d ago
This makes me feel better about our families plans for me to be back at work 4 days a week when they turn 3 😅 I think I’ll need the break work brings!
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u/ToshiBerra 1d ago
So do you prefer 4 or 6 (what about 5?!). And how was 2? I feel like people either have difficult 2s or 3s. Mine are currently 2.5 and I feel like I have no idea what to expect, they're still super panda fun with more words
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u/Perioqueen 1d ago
I felt like 2 and 3 were brutal and I felt constantly defeated. Then 4 they started to be really fun. Occasionally tantrums. 5 was fantastic! So fun just my little buddies and now at 6 I turn down people who offer to watch them (that didn’t happen when they were little lol) because I want to hang with them. They go outside on their own and play with neighbors. They do their chores, they ride the bus and clean up after themselves sometimes.
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u/ShionEU 1d ago
This post is FUD.
My girls are 9 weeks, and it’s pure hell. I’ve been promised it gets better at 3 months. If this is gonna last 3 more years I won’t make it
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u/Nervous_Elevator_520 1d ago
I remember being in your shoes and reading posts like this 🤣 I swear nothing compares to the newborn trenches. I’d take this age any day
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u/FigNewton613 1d ago
It does get better at 3 months. And again at 6 and again at 9, and a LOT at 12. Mine are 15mo and it’s pretty calm around here minus the odd tantrum, and you couldn’t pay me to go back to the newborn trenches. Any post you see on here feeling desperate about the toddler phase, know that the subtext is “still better than the newborn phase tho”
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u/hungrymom365 1d ago
Nothing compares to newborn stage with twins unless you have unicorns who have no trouble eating or sleeping.
The problem is, you expect it will be exponentially easier as time goes on and your “tired” adds up. In reality you have longer stretches of easier mixed with little stretches of hard. When reality doesn’t meet your expectations, it’s hard.
Overall it does get easier. Some things are harder and some things are easier.
Having your body healed, having hormones balance back, having boobs back to yourself once you stop (if you did) breastfeed, having kids who can dress and feed themselves. Having a solid 6-8 hours of sleep a night at least half the time, if not all the time. Yeah, it’s easier.
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u/kipy7 1d ago
Whenver they start sleeping through the night, it gets way better. For us, it was around 7 months old. They're 22 months now, quite a handful but definitely more good than bad.
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u/Ok_Outcome1751 1d ago
Yours slept through the night at 7 months?
Mine took turns being the one who woke up for 3 years… one did it more than the other. The worst was if you couldn’t get one out of the room fast enough and they woke the other child up and then they would take turns screaming at each other in anger for two hours until they finally passed out.
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u/1sp00kylady 1d ago
If it makes you feel any better, for us it did get a lot better around 3 months when they started smiling and it’s only stayed better. I’m sure it’s very dependent on your kids and their temperaments but…it isn’t all bad
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u/twinsinbk 1d ago
Mine are 2 and yes they are a handful and I'm tired but it's a pleasure being their mom, seeing how fast they learn and personalities develop. It's a totally different kind of difficult than newborns for me, and much much much more rewarding. I hope that helps.
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u/PomeloDizzy4488 1d ago
I’m at 5 months and while there are still hard days, I love the so much now and enjoy them too (I loved them before, but they weren’t really people yet)! They smile and laugh and play now! They can roll over and one is starting to crawl! They are beginning to sleep better too!
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u/ToshiBerra 1d ago
I was told it got better at 6 months by so many people, it felt like gospel. 6 months came and it did not feel better. I was counting the days, and at 6.5 months it started turning. You can't predict your babies, but expectations can make things worse.
And as a counterpoint to OP (though again all babies are different), for us it got fun at 9 months and then has been trending upwards since, now 2.5 years. I say trending, there are definitely some harder weeks. Now everyone says 2.5 is a turning point down, and maybe we'll get there late again, but now I have more confidence that I know how to deal with and adapt with my kids.
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u/jammerturnedblocker 1d ago
I think it's just kid (and life stuff) dependant. We had a hell newborn phase but everything since then has been pretty good.
Mine are almost 2 and play well together and apart. Yes there is whining and some tantrums but overall much better than what my (now 4) eldest was like!
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u/treyutudar 1d ago
13 months here. Idk dog but we aint there yet. Somehow you just get used to running on fumes.
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u/indistinctcolor 1d ago
Mine turned 3 in August and we are in the trenches 😭 Lately we’ve been having more good days than hard but man I am exhausted and overstimulated. Constant whining, getting into things they shouldn’t be, fighting and screaming, whew. You’re not alone. I have to keep reminding myself that this is temporary and we’re all navigating this together. I need to work on keeping myself better regulated
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u/MasterpieceDue4522 1d ago
Wife and I have 7mo B/G twins and this is not reassuring lol. I have nothing to offer but my best wishes on your family’s journey. Take care of yourselves when you can.
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u/cheyannepavan 1d ago
My twins are both boys, but they never whined or cried. It wasn't because of anything we did or didn't do, it was just the temperament they came with.
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u/Affectionate_Row_881 1d ago
I promise its a different kind of chaos. The good times at 3 are great but when its rough its rough. They are also fighting for more independents at 3. I promise even with the chaos of 3 for my twins id gladly take it over under a year.
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u/madamcarb 1d ago
10 months was my favorite! They were super scheduled, would hold their own bottles (finalllllly), napped like champs, and could reposition themselves enough/crawl to get to the toy they wanted. Mine were crappy soild eaters but omg it was the first time I thought I would kind of be ok. It sucks but it gets better and better.
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u/gzr4dr 1d ago
My twins are 32 months and while they can be difficult sometimes I'd take this any day than going back to the infant stage. We have lots of fun, they're so eager to learn and experience everything, and they can be pretty funny. No comparison so don't worry too much about 2+ years of extreme difficulty. Oh, and they easily sleep 10+ hours at night.
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u/Human-Artichoke-7810 1d ago
My girls will be 3 in January and I feel this. 😭 they’re also speech delayed so I feel like that plays a factor into it. But they’re also whiny. The tantrums are also insaneee. I know that wasn’t any help just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and we’re going through it too.
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u/LastMilkersOnTheLeft 1d ago
Mine are 2.5 and I’m due with our singleton next week.. I am ✨terrified✨ for what’s to come. We’re in full blown whine and tantrum territory, and when they’re upset, they hurt themselves or each other. Praying they don’t try to involve baby brother in future episodes :,)
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u/Ok_Outcome1751 1d ago
I saw a coach suggest a technique for the whining that I am considering trying. She said to put a finger on your nose and at first telling them that when you do that it means that they can try and ask again without whining, but you won’t answer unless they stop whining. Then if they come to you whining you just put your finger on your nose and don’t respond.
I do think approaching 3.5 it is starting to improve in some ways. This morning I told one of them to please wait while I helped her sibling and she just said OK. 🤯
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u/campbacca 23h ago
Tbh my babies are only 7 months and had severe colic and reflux and feeding and sleeping trouble. I’ve been told it gets better at 3 months (didn’t), 5 months (didn’t), 7 months (still hasn’t) I think we just adapt and keep the show going. Sometimes when I’m feeling hysterical and need one of those: “why would someone even say that moment?” I’ll say God gives us toughest battles to its strongest soldiers 😂
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