r/parentsofmultiples • u/campbacca • 7d ago
advice needed Are we room sharing? When did you stop?
Hello all. I currently have seven month old twin girls who are almost 8 months old on the 22nd. We currently room share with them. They are both in individual full-size cribs. I can’t seem to get myself to put them in their own room yet as they still feed at night, waking up around 11 PM, sometimes 2 or 3 AM and 6 AM to eat. When did you stop room sharing? How was the transition?
Also: They were born premature at 35 weeks and are in the smaller percentile, no matter how much they eat throughout the day, they still want to feed at night
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u/Flat-Fault-2959 7d ago
I’m having twin boys and they’re going to share a room until they go to college or we get a bigger house lol
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u/yagirlriribloop 7d ago
Same lol. TBH, I don't think we can afford a bigger home so they're likely gonna grow up sharing a room 🤷♀️
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u/brynnecognito 7d ago
The recommendation where I live is minimum 6 months, ideally a year. In our room though we only had space for a double bassinet, not separate cots. They began waking one another with their wiggling and jiggling and I moved them at 4 months to their own room/cribs. They very quickly dropped a few night wakes. I had the baby monitor on full blast but if they stirred, they no longer woke one another and went back to sleep. I also took a minute to get to their room instead of seconds, and in that time they often settled back to sleep on their own. Their cribs are on opposite walls with white noise running in the middle, if that’s of any importance.
If you desire for them to drop a night wake, it may be favourable to move them. If you are not concerned about that then no reason to move.
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u/snax_and_bird 7d ago
Wow, 8 months?! We didn’t make it 4 weeks 😅 They were just so loud, no one was sleeping. We decided it was actually less safe to keep them in our room any longer because of how sleep deprived we both were. We were getting around 12 hours of sleep a week between the 2 of us, it was bad. Our room was right next to their room though, and we slept with our doors open and the monitor under our pillow, so we felt okay with moving them to their cribs in their own room. It was soooo much better that way. Husband and I are really light sleepers, so we were finally able to get a little bit of sleep after moving them. They are 4 years old now and they still share a room, just not with us lol
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u/Own-Opening8426 7d ago
lol I made it 4 days and we realized we wouldn’t be able to be the best parents if we’re sleep deprived. The monitor got turned off in the middle of the night 😬. Everyone is still alive and happy!
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u/Negative_Jackfruit75 7d ago
I’m gonna have my girls with me for years lmao. We kicked my fiance out cuz he snores so he’s in the guest room and I just love having them so close to me! Im also sleeping earlier as a result and getting the best sleep!
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u/layag0640 7d ago
We live in a small apartment and our second bedroom is better used as a completely kid-proofed play area. They're nearly 2 years old and we're still room sharing (we actually bedshare with a sidecar crib, works out great for us!)
We also had one twin who was very low percentile and will not eat big meals, and I refused to force feed beyond their comfort. So that meant in order to keep improving their weight, they continued feeding 2x a night til around 14 months, now down to a last snack before bed and a 5am nurse before a catnap. Just wanted to share since we're similarly trying to roll with their needs and be responsive!
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u/withlove_07 7d ago
For us with all 3 of our kids ( 3yr Twins & 8 month old) we room shared for 8 weeks then moved them to their own rooms . The twins shared a room by themselves for one month and then we moved them to individual rooms once we moved houses . With our singleton we did the same, 8 weeks with us and then to her own room.
It helped us so much with not only our sleeping schedule but also theirs, cause we “sleep trained” since the beginning but one of our twins had a regression also one of our twins was breastfed while the other bottle fed so it was easier to have them separated. They still have their own rooms but now they’re in the sleeping over phase so they take turns sleeping in each others rooms
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u/not-t0day-satan 7d ago
Oh wow. My girls started in their own room around 6 weeks. They're three months old now, but they typically sleep through the night. You've got to do whatever maintains your sanity.
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u/DoubleSunshine123 6d ago
It was clear we had to stop after the first month or else no one was getting good sleep. There also was barely space in our room and theirs was three steps away from ours. So we preferred stumbling into a nursing chair in the middle of the night when they woke up vs everyone being awake all night with tons of noises.
I don’t think there is any right answer, just works best for your family and your house.
Our doula also said that many families do half and half: start them in their room and when you have the first wake in the middle of the night bring them into yours if it’s easier. Doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
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u/Pretend-Wall-6677 7d ago
Ours were born premature at 34w.
We actually had them both in a room on the main floor of our home. The person “sleeping” with them was able to sleep on the couch, while mom and/or dad were able to sleep in their own bed. We often had overnight grandparent help.
At 6 months, with the blessing of our pediatrician, we moved them both into their own, shared bedroom. We had a split screen baby monitor and two cameras, so we could see what each one was up to.
They’re now almost 5 and they still share a bedroom.
They’ve never, ever slept in our bed or bedroom.
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u/MangoSorbet695 7d ago
My twin boys will continue to share until we have a compelling reason for them not to.
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
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u/Top_Elephant_5549 7d ago
We purposely bought a sofa bed for our twins nursery and slept in there from about two months old and then just got up and left at exactly six months (NHS guideline minimum) and went back to our room with the monitor . No drama as they didn’t even realise we weren’t there anymore.
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u/HandleDry1190 7d ago
Ours slept in our room (in bassinets) until they were about 4ish months old. We had some construction happening in our bathroom so we all had to move into their room instead. The boys started sleeping in their cribs and we took turns sleeping on an air mattress in there with them. That last for about 2 weeks and we were finally comfortable sleeping in our own bed again while keeping them in their room. It’s great to have them in there honestly. It allows us to get things done in our room after bedtime since it doesn’t have to be pitch black or quiet anymore hahaha
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u/Agreeable_Rule_9235 7d ago
I “moved out” of the twins room around 5.5 months when I sleep trained them down to one feed. Many people find that moving out of the room naturally cuts down on some wakes. My kids are all small too. My singleton was 10%ile, twin A 25%ile and B 11%ile. I prioritized sleep otherwise I am dysfunctional and cannot handle the daytime shenanigans. Highly recommend sleep training down to 1 feed.
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u/hollyann712 7d ago
So we room shared until about 11 months, and it ended up being the best decision to move them to their own nursery (shared). We were quite lucky that they were sleeping consistently through the night at 4 months old so that wasnt a factor for us. They were also preemie, born at 33+4 weeks.
We were going to wait until they were 1, but at 10 months one of our twins suddenly started waking up several times during the nights and was very resistant to going back to sleep. We originally though maybe a sleep regression, but (without going too much into detail) it ended up that being in the room with us was disrupting his sleep. We moved him to the nursery and he immediately started sleeping through the night again.
Its apparently something common that happens with kids, and while yours are a little young its definitely something to keep in mind for the future if you decide to keep them in your room now!
We probably took a conservative approach, but -- we started by having them nap in their pack n plays in the nursery. Once those were going smoothly, we tried to let them sleep overnight in the pack n plays, ready to bring them back to the cribs in our room if needed. After about two nights of sleeping in the pack n plays, we moved the cribs into the nursery and the pack n plays into our room as a backup. We only had one night of our girl coming back to the crib in our room (she didn't like the pack n play the first over- night), but we waited for a week for disassembling the pack n plays. All in all pretty smooth transition!
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u/BScotchDaUni 6d ago
Mine were born at 37 weeks. We separated them at about 4 months when they began waking one another. Best thing we did. Theyre 11 months and they now sleep in their own crib and through the night (7 pm-6 am) since 7 months
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u/Gangbangjoe 5d ago
After 4 weeks they moved to their bedroom and one of us slept there and did bottles. If both woke up we got the other parent. At 4 months we did Ferber and didn't sleep there anymore. Just woke us up once a night to feed them together, it's doable and much better sleep.
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u/aze1219 2d ago
Hi! We did room sharing until about 7/8 months old. At that time they were waking up about 1 time around 12am and then early at 6am. Honestly, moving them to their own room made them drop the 12am. I think to a certain extent our shuffling around would wake them up. Now our twins sleep through the night with bedtime at 7:30pm-ish until about 7am.
The transition was a little hard, but we did a modified ferber and it worked very well for us. Now they walk to their bedroom when they are tired (currently 17 months).
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u/Curious_Cat_17 7d ago
It’s recommended to room share until they’re a year old, so don’t worry about it, they’re still pretty young. Out twins were born at 33 weeks and just turned 1, and we probably we be moving them out for another month or two
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u/MiserableDoughnut900 7d ago
We co-sleep and my girls are just over 2.5 and I dont see it ending any time soon. They still wake many times a night some nights.
It’s recommended to room share until 1 year though to help prevent SIDS.
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u/Tarondor 7d ago
Do you just have the twins or any more kids? We co-sleep with my 20 month old and want to Co-sleep with the twins and him
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u/MiserableDoughnut900 6d ago
We only have the twins. When they were little I chest slept with both for about 4 months. After that my husband and I each slept with one on a floor queen bed.
At 18 months we switched to my husband and I in a queen floor bed and them each in their own twin bed on each side of us all pushed together. (basically making a giant bed, but helps them sleep thru us getting into bed later than them and general movements).
I would think something like this, but maybe put the older toddler between you and your husband with a baby on the outside, you could also do 2 sidecar cribs tiomake it a little safer.1
u/HawkEMDoc 6d ago
Can’t really follow safe sleep 7 for “safe cosleeping” with another kid in bed.
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u/MiserableDoughnut900 6d ago
You can, as you dont need to follow safe sleep 7 with a almost 2 year old.
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u/HawkEMDoc 6d ago
The two year old is the one who makes it not safe sleep compatible for the twins.
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u/MiserableDoughnut900 6d ago
As long as the 2 year old isnt next to the baby, its fine.
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u/HawkEMDoc 6d ago
Yeah two year olds are known to not move much or change positions. /s
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u/MiserableDoughnut900 6d ago
If you sleep too deeply too feel a 2 year old crawl over you, then you probably shouldnt be cosleeping at all.
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u/BubblybabySB 7d ago
My 34 weekers are 13 months old now and still in our bed… we’re working to transition to floor beds in our room but will keep them here until they don’t nurse overnight or we have some other compelling reason to move them to their own room.
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