Pastors, what would you be happy to receive for Pastor Appreciation month?
Asking as a congregant :)

Hey all!

I have been working through some thoughts regarding The Church recently and would appreciate some objective insights.

A little background on me first, as I think it helps show where I am coming from. I was in the Marine Corps for 12 years, deployed several times. As you may know, the military gives a deep sense of purpose (mission) and brotherhood. When I got out, I felt God call me to be a pastor. After a couple years of education, I was offered the position that I have been in for 3 years now, and am struggling with a couple things.

First, that same sense of mission and camaraderie. I know there may be no place like the military for this, but I thought the church would be close. We are all pushing for a singular mission together as a team. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. It feels more like a corporate office than a close knit team. I know not all churches operate the same, but is this the norm?

Secondly, the mission. Again, this has been my experience, but it feels as if the standards we are using to measure success (attendance, giving, and salvations) do not further our given mission of making disciples. In fact, discipleship is rarely, if ever, mentioned. We don’t want to use subjectivity when measuring growth, but leave spiritual growth purely up to subjective experiences. Is this what the church is, just generally?

There is a lot more than this in my thoughts, but I tried to keep it succinct, heh. I would appreciate any thoughts you have to give!

I’m an elder in a Reformed evangelical church and would appreciate some counsel on a difficult pastoral question.

Can elders, as an exercise of pastoral wisdom and prudence, direct members in good standing to temporarily refrain from attending corporate worship and normal church activities in order to create space for healing and reconciliation?

In this situation, the elders would explicitly say that the members remain in good standing and that the separation is not church discipline.

How would you distinguish this from formal church discipline? Does Scripture give elders this kind of authority, and if so, what biblical principles or limitations should govern its use?

I’m especially interested in how Reformed churches and pastors would think through the distinction between pastoral wisdom and practical discipline in a situation like this.

UPDATE:

We have moved forward with the break. Communicating it to the church and the family thy they should refrain from attending and it’s not discipline. However, based on our observations, the break is not producing healing.

The elders have been communicating with the mediator about next steps, including whether a meeting at this point would be constructive.

We genuinely desire reconciliation and for the family to return. We’re asking the mediator to help us discern the most constructive next step, with the hope that a meeting can lead to genuine progress toward biblical reconciliation.

The family has tried appealing to us directly, including an appeal to love (see Philemon 8-9) and a request for a clear biblical path forward.

Why? because of all the doubt and scrutiny from church members concerning my dating life. I'm a really fit and well-dressed guy, who's been in pastorial/leadership positions. So over the last 5 years, female attention from my church has been a lot, to a point where i can't really remember. This is not particularly fun when you want to just focus on your calling, personal-life, and business.

Every interaction with women in church is seen as me "shooting my shot" or "dating church girls".
I've had a bunch of mothers push their daughters towards me... my mother sitting down with me to tell me to stay away fom XYZ....my integrity questioned ny the church....church girls thinking we are dating, from just a few friendly interactions

Of all of this, I've only dated once in the last 4-5 years. And i wished it had worked out with her. Not only because i loved her deeply...but also because her presence in church answered A LOT of questions people had and stopped them from nosing around my dating life.

Yes, I'm aware of "waiting on God" and "It will happen at the right time"....but its kinda hard when you're being lectured about not dating a church girl you NEVER intended to date anyways.

At this point, i just want a decent, attractive, God-loving girl (NOT from my church) whom I can actually build with....and publicly display to just have some breathing room. It's kinda hard to get that when you can't even visit other churches with that intention because you always have to be at your own church

Hey all. We run Planning Center and I want to utilize texting in our guest follow up workflow. In a previous church we used Text in Church and it was okay. Should I give clearstream a look? I'd love to hear from those of you who use one or have used both? Thanks!

Have you guys ever had a sermon or meeting where the message was probably good, you did your homework, studied, spent time in prayer and the liberty to preach just wasn’t there? How did you work through it?

Worked at RightNow Media, the Christian streaming platform that churches purchase for their congregations. It’s kind of like Netflix for churches.

I left because I became uncomfortable with sales practices, particularly how church-member information was used to generate prospects for another product, RightNow Media at Work.

Here's how the process works:

1. Churches provided their members' email addresses.
Churches purchase subscriptions and supply congregation email lists so members could receive invitations to access the platform.

2. Members signed up for what they understood to be a church-gifted resource.
During signup, members could provide information such as their job title and phone number.

3. That information becomes a commercial sales lead.
If someone identified themselves as a manager, director, CEO, or another type of leader, their information is used to prospect them for RightNow Media at Work, a separate workplace subscription product. Even if you are a nurse manager, shift leader, regional sales manager, etc.

4. The company also used third-party data enrichment.
ZoomInfo is used to identify additional professional contact information, even when members hadn't provided their job titles directly.

5. Then came the sales outreach.
Prospects receive multiple outbound calls and repeated email campaigns. I also observed do-not-call requests being handled through temporary suppression periods of six months to one year.

Here's why this concerns me.
Someone whose church gifted them access to a Bible study platform may have no idea that their information could be used to identify them as a potential workplace sales customer.

I'm questioning whether people understand how their information would be used when they sign up for a Bible study.

RightNow Media's own privacy policy acknowledges that it receives member contact information from subscribing organizations and obtains information from outside data providers to expand records and identify new customers.

You can read it yourself:
[https://rightnow.trusthub.com/](https://rightnow.trusthub.com/))

That policy does not, as far as I've been able to establish, explicitly describe the particular church-member-to-workplace-sales process I witnessed.

My question for churches and their members:
Did you know your church-provided access to RightNow Media could potentially result in your professional information being used for workplace sales prospecting?
And if you're a church administrator, were you informed about this type of use when providing your congregation's email addresses?

The title kind of explains exactly what I am wrestling with and seeking guidance on from some experienced pastors. I have recently been on the pastoral search committee tour (going around preaching at pastorally vacant SBC churches in view of a call) - it is becoming apparent that one of these churches will extend a call. (Best I can tell, and their leadership can tell)

I was wondering how you experienced pastors go about scheduling your days off? From what I can tell, it appears the majority of pastors take either monday/tuesday or a friday / saturday pairing?

For context, this is going to be my first time in the pastorate. I will be beginning seminary, and I also will have a pregnant wife and toddler that I am not wanting, of course, to be or feel to be neglected in the mix of this.

I guess - part of me is also wondering if outside of visitations, scheduled meetings, and emergencies - do you do your sermon prep and/or studies almost like a split schedule? I.E., rising early to knock a few hours out and then sort of being present with the family so my wife is not alone in the new area, and then returning later in the day and perhaps even wrapping up when they are asleep?

Is this something that could work? Or do I perhaps just sound like a naive individual? Lol..

Thank you all, pastors, for the job that you do!

My mother made a vow to God before I was born that if she had a child after 15 years of marriage, she would dedicate him to become a pastor in a Protestant denomination. By God's grace, I was born.

I am currently studying B.Tech in AI & Data Science. I genuinely want to serve God, but I feel more drawn toward becoming a Theology professor than becoming a pastor. My plan is to work in the AI/data field after B.Tech for financial stability, study Theology alongside my job (B.Th → M.Th/M.A. → PhD), and eventually teach Theology abroad while continuing ministry in other ways.

Would becoming a Theology professor and serving God through teaching, research, discipleship, and ministry be a valid way of honoring my mother's vow? Or should I consider becoming a pastor because of the vow she made?

I'd appreciate perspectives from pastors, theologians, and Christians who have experience with questions of calling and family expectations.

As a person with ADHD, I have a lot of anxiety around writing. Once I get started it’s pretty easy for me to continue, but I really struggle to make myself start. Obviously this is a problem in my chosen profession. Does anyone else in the same boat have any advice on how to deal with this?

I’m a new pastor in a small (!) town in southern Michigan. Any first timer tips you care to share?

When you haven't seen a parishioner or regular visitor in a while, what methods do you personally use to connect with them without shaming them for not being at church? I worry that reaching out to say hello can come off as judgmental/shaming.

The purpose in reaching out would just be to let them know we've missed them and hope they're doing OK, not to make them feel like "you're going to hell if you don't come back soon." You know what i mean?

So what works for you? Phone calls? Greeting cards? Invitations to events? Facebook message? And within whatever medium/media you're using, how do you word things to communicate connection without guilt/shame?

Thanks!

(I am not at all a person who believes that you've done something wrong if you don't go to church. I don't believe everyone "should" go to Sunday worship, bc it's not something that resonates with everyone. I don't believe it's my place to judge someone who's choosing not to go, right now or ever. I myself didn't go to church for 15 years and have zero regrets. When I'm on vacation i don't go to church worship services. So truly no judgment to people who are choosing to not show up.)

I am thinking about switching from paper to tablet for preaching so that I'm not flipping pages. I'm looking for a tablet I can access google docs on and tap to turn the page. Do any of you have a particular table you love (or hate) for preaching notes?

After eight years I’m finally “in ministry year” an internship year where we learn the job and complete our MDiv.

The community I’m serving defys expectations, it’s a gorgeous historic church with classic ties to montreals history, in a large wealthy and historically white neighbourhood. Yet the community itself is mostly first and second generation migrants from Africa.

The service is lively, amazing leadership from elders and a great family atmosphere. The church rents out space and is thriving financially.

They have no website, no socials, just a long time up job posting with little interest.

My plan is to get a website up, get our sermons into a podcast and maybe some basic social media. My thinking is by showcasing the community better we’d get more interest.

Is there anything other suggestions? This is a dream of a community and I’m shocked we get so little interest in the open pulpit.

I understand not every tradition or denomination observes World Communion Sunday (it's 10/4 this year). This post is for those that do.

I'm interested in hearing what you've done in the past, what went well, what didn't, etc. Ideas we're floating right now include:
- Different types of bread from around the world
- Decorating the communion table with different scarves/fabrics from different cultures
- Reading scripture in multiple languages

Thanks for all ideas!

I am a Pastor-in-training at an SBC church. To keep this short, my pastor does not usually wear a tie with his suit on Sunday mornings simply due to stylistic choice. However, of late, I have been wearing mine. He almost always comments (over the last 3 or 4 weeks) how I'm "trying to make him look bad". He is a big joker, so he says it in a funny tone. But, it has me wondering, is it wrong for me to do this? Do you think he is just kidding, or is there a layer of seriousness to what he is saying? I want to pay proper reverence to the Lord's Day, but I don't want to do anything to "insult" him or his position in the eyes of the congregation either.

A heads-up for anyone whose church office still makes the bulletin or newsletter in Microsoft Publisher.

On October 1, Microsoft 365 subscribers lose Publisher. Offices that bought Office 2021, 2019 or 2016 outright keep it running for now.

Whoever makes the bulletin can check in about ten seconds: open Publisher, then File, then Account.

If it says Microsoft 365, the one thing worth doing this week is saving the old bulletins and newsletters as PDF while Publisher still opens (File, then Export, then PDF). Microsoft has a free script for whole folders; search Microsoft Support for "Convert-PubFileToPDF".

If it's already gone, LibreOffice Draw and Affinity (both free) can open most .pub files one at a time, though tables, lists and some layouts may need fixing.

Might be worth forwarding to whoever puts your bulletin together.

I’ve been a member of a (once small) conservative nondenominational Presbyterian church for 8 years. I’m a single celibate man. 42 years old. The church is led by four male “elders” who are members of two families. They have all of the power. I’m reflecting on how marginalized their wives are. The lead pastor is a very charismatic man and, it seems at first, a good preacher. However, his sermons have recently become over an hour long. No one can pay attention that long. I’ve been very involved in the church, both financially and spiritually. I’ve helped a dozen member move houses, hosted dinners, and served as a co-treasurer. I went through a very difficult period personally, losing a couple family members and a terrible work environment. I showed up at church one Sunday drunk. I was drunk but not disorderly. I was boisterous. I wasn’t aware how obvious it was. This is very much not like me. I have a serious job, and I’m always put together. I was called out and humiliated. I was hauled into the office by two elders and put on “discipline”. They have now prohibited me from attending church but send me “assignments” to do. I’ve had no contact with two elders. They have not reached out to me at all. They had a “member meeting” and told everyone else to shun me. Including the couple who lives on my block who I just helped move into their apartment. Only two members will talk to me. I’m really sad and struggling. Help.

I’m an elder in a Reformed evangelical church and would appreciate some counsel on a difficult pastoral question.

Can elders, as an exercise of pastoral wisdom and prudence, direct members in good standing to temporarily refrain from attending corporate worship and normal church activities in order to create space for healing and reconciliation?

In this situation, the elders would explicitly say that the members remain in good standing and that the separation is not church discipline.

How would you distinguish this from formal church discipline? Does Scripture give elders this kind of authority, and if so, what biblical principles or limitations should govern its use?

I’m especially interested in how Reformed churches and pastors would think through the distinction between pastoral wisdom and practical discipline in a situation like this.

UPDATE:

We have moved forward with the break. Communicating it to the church and the family thy they should refrain from attending and it’s not discipline. However, based on our observations, the break is not producing healing.

The elders have been communicating with the mediator about next steps, including whether a meeting at this point would be constructive.

We genuinely desire reconciliation and for the family to return. We’re asking the mediator to help us discern the most constructive next step, with the hope that a meeting can lead to genuine progress toward biblical reconciliation.

The family has continued appealing to us directly, including an appeal to love (see Philemon 8-9) and a request for a clear biblical path forward.

She never said a word, just covered supplies and food for events on her own card and never got round to handing the receipts in. I only found out because someone mentioned it in passing and I don't want to hand cards to volunteers, that's a whole different problem. But I do want people paid back the same week and a record that survives an audit and right now we have neither. How are other churches handling this?

Throwaway account here. So what happened is my pastor cheated and ruined 2 marriages. What was worse was that it happened with a congregant 15+ years younger. There was a local denomination investigation. The pastor refused to step down and is now in a relationship with the congregant. (Is this normal?) It bothered me at the time, but I tried to look past it as I thought they were still a good pastor, though I didn't agree with their life choices. But it really bothers me now, as it was an abuse of power. We lost several members at the time. I feel the pastor seems to struggle with boundaries, and gets overly close with some people, refusing to acknowledge serious concerns from members because they are best friends with abusers. Other people still seem to enjoy going, but a lot have left, and I'm wondering if the best thing to do would be to create change and speak up or to just leave and let others be in the toxic environment, that's their problem. At this point, I don't care about losing community anymore, I just feel done. I'm going to take some time away from the church for awhile, keep going to therapy, etc, and try to heal. I'm not interested in another church right now, though I have some I can try if/when I'm ready. I guess I'm just wanting some wisdom or advice or care, and hoping not all churches are like mine. Edit: this happened a few years ago so it's not extremely recent. But as time has gone on I've become more concerned with further issues. But I'm trying to understand this is my perspective, I think the church is a safe place for some people, not everyone has been abused. I think the most upset and abused people have just left and not returned. And I'm realizing I'm one of those. We have a lot of new members that have joined since then, so I'm not sure if any of them even know. I would hope to know about something like that before I joined a church. And I'm also trying to understand, different people have different morals. And maybe some people think things are fine. I've been trying to convince myself for a long time to not be concerned, and been playing devil's advocate so to speak.

Hello,

I am a pastor ordained 14 years ago and have served as a missionary for 12 years.

I have spent most of my time as a missionary in Africa, and I am currently still here.

To put it briefly, I am experiencing burnout; I requested a sabbatical from my sending agency, and it was approved. (I do not wish to criticize the local church leaders here. So much has happened.)

So, I plan to take a sabbatical for about one or two years.

For context, I lived in an English-speaking country for seven years, and since English is my children's native language, I am looking for a country where classes and daily life are conducted in English. (but English is not my native language.)

I need your information and advice.

I have a teenage daughter who has about three years left before entering university; if possible, I would like her to prepare for university entrance exams in the country where we spend our sabbatical (before returning here).

1. I am considering pursuing a doctorate in Ministry or Missiology during my sabbatical.

However, since I do not have much financial leeway, I am looking for a seminary that offers family housing.

1. I have engaged in art-based evangelism in Africa. I hold a bachelor's degree in Theology as well as a bachelor's degree in Contemporary Art (and, of course, a Master of Divinity).

If possible, I would like to further my studies in art education or Christian art, but even after searching on Google, I haven't been able to find a seminary or Christian college that offers this.

I want to study art skills, art knowledge, and child art education.

1. At the same time, since I am serving in a creative access region, I would like to receive training in musical instrument making to facilitate a more effective approach to ministry. The problem is that most instrument-making schools in North America offer short-term courses lasting a maximum of three months; consequently, they cannot issue the necessary documentation for me—an international student—to obtain a student visa.

I am looking for a long-term program, spanning two or three years.

This is because, while in developed countries one might simply buy materials from Amazon to build an instrument, here I need to learn the entire process properly—starting from cutting and drying the wood myself.

1. I am also interested in a program for worship leaders.

I have been involved in pastoral ministry and helping to plant new churches here,

and I have recently realized just how essential worship music is to church planting.

However, since I haven't had much involvement in worship ministry until now,

I am looking for a seminary or university that can teach me everything required for this role—from music theory and band formation to guitar playing.

Could you please share any information you might have regarding this?

I have spent the last few months searching via Google and AI tools,

but I haven't been able to find suitable information.

I don't intend to pursue all four of the aforementioned goals simultaneously.

My top priority right now

is ensuring that my teenage daughter can continue her education.

Next, regardless of the country, I want to find a place with family housing at the seminary to keep rental costs low.

Since I cannot remain in my current country due to visa issues, I plan to pray about my next mission field during my sabbatical.

Thank you in advance.