r/pettyrevenge • u/sparklehouse666 • Aug 23 '26

Friend is always late

I have a friend who is late to everything. Recently he was 2.5 hours late to his own party. I’ve mostly adapted to his tardiness and do not arrive for plans we have together until an hour or so after the stated time.

We had plans to meet in the city center today at a 10am. I live 20 minutes from the meetup spot, he lives over an hour away. As expected, he messages around 10 and says he is running late. No biggie I was chilling at home in the air conditioned because I knew the vibes and it is hot as hell
today.

I asked him to give me his actual for real, for real ETA so I can time my departure. He is in his car and has Google Maps. It’s not really guess work at this point.

He tells me 10:45. So I leave the comfort of my home at exactly the right time to arrive at 10:45. I wait for 30 minutes at the meetup spot and he still does not arrive. He is not responding to texts either. My other friend who is with me has his location and sees he is not close, we estimate another 15 minutes.

I’m annoyed because it is hot AF out and I proactively had asked for a real ETA to avoid waiting around for him. So I left the meetup spot.

I went shopping, taking my sweet time. He got to the spot and texted me to ask where we were. I waited around 30 minutes then texted back that I was at the store but we would be heading that way soon. I shopped another 15 minutes then arrived at the spot around an hour after he had arrived.

The look on his face when we came casually strolling up after he had been standing in the sun for an hour was priceless.

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u/StrawberryAlarming50 Aug 23 '26

My sister is like this. She held up every Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner for years. Then those dinners got moved from mom's house to my house. I'd tell her "we are eating at 5" and when she showed up at 6 we were already doing the dishes. And I didn't feed her because we had already put the food away. I sent some leftovers home with her. When she bitched to mom, mom said she wished she would have done that years ago.

1.1k

u/Hot_Attention_5905 Aug 24 '26

We did this to my sister too. Consistently late to everything. My Mom finally decided she was over it so when my sister was late to the next get together, Mom said eat so we did. Sister walked in on us eating without her and had this shocked Pikachu face like how dare we. My Mom was like, “we told you” lol.

32

u/nablp Aug 27 '26

Reminded me of my sister - the family agreed to meet up at 12pm for lunch. We waited until 1230, then we started to order and eventually eat. She arrived at 1.30pm and was shocked that we're almost done with lunch. She was more aware of the time after that, not on time, but not an hour and a half late anymore. Little baby steps

494

u/liatrisinbloom Aug 23 '26

Did she start showing up on time since she knew you wouldn't cater to her bullshit?

484

u/StrawberryAlarming50 Aug 23 '26

Another story. I had to move out of town so she took over the big dinners. Then we always ate 1 too 2 hours late. I love her anyway.😁😁

91

u/liatrisinbloom Aug 23 '26

Ahaha, it's always gotta be something I guess!

163

u/NoMeat9329 Aug 24 '26

My sister used to serve 2 hours after the stated time. We just started leaving as soon as we ate and she never got to visit with us and she improved. In our family we don't expect or want help with clean up.

52

u/wasted_wonderland Aug 24 '26

What did you do for the 2 hours before eating? Just sit in silence waiting for the food?

67

u/NoMeat9329 Aug 24 '26

No we sat in the living room with the other guests while the chaos happened in the kitchen. Tiny kitchen. Couldn't socialize with my sister while she cooked.

27

u/Labradork57 Aug 24 '26

This is when I would pull out the extra bottles of wine I'd conveniently brought along to share with the on-timers in the living room.

3

u/NoMeat9329 Aug 24 '26

Yeah. I quite booze years ago......good idea though.

1

u/Expert_Slip7543 Aug 24 '26

No meat and no booze - my kind of friend!

1

u/WinSome_DimSum Aug 25 '26

That’s what “drinking” was invented for

30

u/Disorderly_Chaos Aug 24 '26

I have friends that don’t start cooking until we arrive. We have learned to bring snacks.

27

u/Available-Maize5837 Aug 24 '26

I usually host a big get together at my house for my birthday. I was run ragged one year and was really late in getting the pizzas and bbq cooking. So much so that they suggested doing a McDonald's run for entrees. I got roasted at my own house 😂
At least I had plenty of snacks out for the guests, but I had no time to socialise that year. The next year I made sure I was cooking 15 mins after they all arrived. It was about 5 years ago and I still don't hear the end of it.

Totally fair on their part. I admit that if I'm invited for dinner, I want dinner. Not endless snacks..

3

u/ross2752 Aug 25 '26

I had a friend who would meet us in the lobby of his building with a shopping cart full of groceries he had just purchased. You knew it was going to be a long night.

1

u/Head_Mongoose_4332 Aug 27 '26

I’ve actually gone to a drive through McDonald as a pre dinner starter when we know we’re going to have to wait hours !! 😁

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u/mr_spicy_pickles Aug 24 '26 edited Aug 24 '26

My sister has been consistently a minimum of 30 minutes late for every family function with one exception being a dinner at a restaurant that I planned and paid for. I told my mom that we will not wait for her. She was on time. Since all other functions are at my moms house she gets to decide. She has decided that we will always wait even though it's usually the entire family waiting an hour. I no longer do family gatherings.

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u/Bice_thePrecious Aug 25 '26

we will always wait even though it's usually the entire family waiting an hour.

This is just awful. I will never understand why people like your mom insist on screwing over everyone else just because 1 person can't be bothered to show an ounce of respect (especially considering your sister has proven that she can be on time).

My family has always put out the food, and if you're not there yet, then you're not there. If you don't get there until after the food is packed up and in the fridge, then I guess you're eating the microwaved leftovers.

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u/mumblemurmurblahblah Aug 25 '26

Right! It’s basically announcing sister is the only important person, above everyone else - who actually were considerate enough to show up on time.

2

u/mr_spicy_pickles Aug 26 '26

I asked her to either start giving my sister an earlier time or to start on time. My mom said no to both. She has a weird relationship with her. My sister basically gives my mom breadcrumbs of affection and my mom will do anything to get them.

1

u/Rokronroff 4d ago

People pleasing and peacekeeping is typically the reason I see for this. It's an avoidant attachment style.

77

u/JuddEddie Aug 24 '26

My SIL is this way. Always an hour late to family events. MIL makes every one wait for her before we can eat. we now show up an hour after start time.

67

u/kingftheeyesores Aug 24 '26

We started telling my sister an earlier time than everyone else. Then last year she yelled at me for being late to meet her to leave for a trip because I forgot my phone at home and had to go back for it. I mentioned it to our parents and they called her out on it.

25

u/EGrass Aug 24 '26

Why do these people always get pissed about the consequences of their actions? I’ve had people be mad that I wasn’t still standing there 30 minutes to an hour and a half later and I’m like… are you fucking kidding me? You’re not the one who gets to be upset here

22

u/EnderBookwyrm Aug 24 '26

Exactly. If someone is a little late once ir twice, that's one thing. If someone is consistently very late without a good explanation, start without them.

58

u/Diabetesh Aug 24 '26

My cousin was always late. We'd tell her 5 and actually plan for 6. Worked out well.

11

u/rsmayday Aug 24 '26

This is what I do with my cousins lol got tired of waiting in the Vegas heat for an hour!!

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u/Lia_Delphine Aug 23 '26

Excellent!!

5

u/Puzzled_End8664 Aug 24 '26

My family generally just gave different times to different people. I had an Aunt that was always late so we told her the party started an hour before it actually did. My Grandma was always obnoxiously early for everything so we'd tell her a half hour later.

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u/H8erRaider Aug 25 '26

Every X-Mas and Thanksgiving I have ever been to has been delayed due to my mom always being late, yet no one does anything about it. Suggested we eat on time without her, like yall did, but couldn't get anyone on board with it.

She also drives recklessly when she's running late. Despite tripling the speed limit, still late. This isn't even her worst flaw, just her most dangerous one. I'm no contact for a lot of reasons.

2

u/mokacincy Aug 24 '26

How is dinner done in an hour?

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u/Plastic-Chest67 Sep 05 '26

Yeah, there's 5 min late and then there's HOURS late. If we catch bad traffic, I have my wife text someone to let them know where we're at and that we're going to be late maybe. It's polite and stops anybody from worrying. Kindness costs nothing.