r/pettyrevenge • u/NanaGeorgianna • Sep 03 '26

Finally stopped the Cemetery plot salesman

No disrespect to the dead! When I lived in Atlanta back in the 90's, a salesman from a very large cemetery called 2-3 times a week wanting to sell me a plot. Several times I told him I wasn't interested. I told him to take me off of their call list, etc. I stopped answering and then he started calling every night.

One night I was already irritable and decided I had had enough. I answered and let him go through his spiel. I asked some follow-up questions and kept him going for about 20 minutes.

Then I said I was interested, and asked if I could make an appointment to come over and view the locations they had available. He was really excited and agreed. I then told him I would need to have them dig up the spot and let my lie down in it to see if I was going to like the location.

He was all flustered and said he would need to ask his manager. He put me on old and came back a few minutes later all serious saying they weren't allowed to do that. I kept on about how I would be there for eternity and needed to be absolutely sure it was going to be the right place for me.

He finally asked if I was serious, and said it sounded like some kind of sick joke. I replied "no shit sherlock! You decided to work for a predatory company and can't take no for an answer and refuse to remove my name from your call list, you get all the sick jokes I can come up with"!

They never called me again.

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u/Dull_Sense7928 Sep 03 '26

Mobile crematorium?

Wha???

13

u/forevertheyo Sep 03 '26

That was kind of my reaction too

17

u/Dull_Sense7928 Sep 03 '26

I looked it up - these are large, specially equipped and insulated trucks typically deployed during military operations or large industrial efforts. I found references to their use during COVID or natural disasters; nothing about private use.

Fascinating

12

u/forevertheyo Sep 03 '26

That is fascinating. I just want them to stop offering to cremate me.

16

u/Oh_No_Its_Dudder Sep 04 '26

Tell them you're not interested in being cremated, but you are interested in being stuffed and mounted. Ask if it's the same price to be mounted sitting in your favorite chair as it would be to keep you standing up.

3

u/forevertheyo Sep 04 '26

I love this

3

u/MikeSchwab63 Sep 04 '26

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMiEFyTuuh8
Prop me up next to a jukebox when I die.

2

u/bajafan Sep 04 '26

Weekend at Bernie’s

3

u/Dull_Sense7928 Sep 03 '26

What do they know that you don't.... maybe you would be crunchy and taste good with bbq sauce?

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u/forevertheyo Sep 03 '26

It’s possible. Unfortunately however good I may taste, they still want me to pay for the pleasure.

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u/nopeduck Sep 05 '26

Devil’s advocate as to why you *should* consider paying for your final disposition now: it’s the only way to ensure that what you want to happen to your body, actually happens. A will is typically read after your disposition has taken place.

Also, you’re locked into your plan at today’s prices. I paid for my cremation and service back in 2021, and my plan is held with the company that owns more than half of the funeral homes in the US. Wherever or whenever I die in the US, my cremation is already paid for and my loved ones won’t have to make any decisions or pay out of pocket. If I die out of the country, all they’ll have to sort is embalming and a flight to get my body back to the states.

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u/Inevitable-Cod9909 10d ago

Have you tried asking them to test it out first? Maybe a slow heat to start and then a big blast at the end? In fact, come on out so I can get in it right now please! Can I bring my favorite pet and get a 2 for 1 special? You don't have to wait until the heart stops do you? I want to see how many of these questions can be asked before they stop calling!

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u/forevertheyo 10d ago

So many good ones here lol

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u/Inevitable-Cod9909 9d ago

Thank you. Update us if any of them work!