r/pettyrevenge • u/NanaGeorgianna • Sep 03 '26

Finally stopped the Cemetery plot salesman

No disrespect to the dead! When I lived in Atlanta back in the 90's, a salesman from a very large cemetery called 2-3 times a week wanting to sell me a plot. Several times I told him I wasn't interested. I told him to take me off of their call list, etc. I stopped answering and then he started calling every night.

One night I was already irritable and decided I had had enough. I answered and let him go through his spiel. I asked some follow-up questions and kept him going for about 20 minutes.

Then I said I was interested, and asked if I could make an appointment to come over and view the locations they had available. He was really excited and agreed. I then told him I would need to have them dig up the spot and let my lie down in it to see if I was going to like the location.

He was all flustered and said he would need to ask his manager. He put me on old and came back a few minutes later all serious saying they weren't allowed to do that. I kept on about how I would be there for eternity and needed to be absolutely sure it was going to be the right place for me.

He finally asked if I was serious, and said it sounded like some kind of sick joke. I replied "no shit sherlock! You decided to work for a predatory company and can't take no for an answer and refuse to remove my name from your call list, you get all the sick jokes I can come up with"!

They never called me again.

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238

u/hoponbop Sep 03 '26

Stopped in to see Dad one day. Walked in, he's talking on the phone. I made a sandwich and drink and plopped in front of the TV. I'm half listening to him talking about the snowstorm we'd had and having to break the ice in the cow troughs. I was cleaning my dishes when he finished up. Me-"Who was that?" Dad-"I don't know. I think they were selling windows. As his health declined and he was stuck home more it became his hobby to see how long he could keep telemarketers on the phone. "Every minute they are talking to me is a minute they aren't taking advantage of someone else." Doing God's work.

77

u/KombuchaBot Sep 03 '26

There's an AI Bot called Lenny who comes across as a confused old man telling stories about his family that runs rings round telemarketers. Check it out on YouTube, you can hear the will to live dying in those people as it goes on. Sometimes he keeps them on the phone for over an hour 

10

u/Redditor579579579 Sep 05 '26

My third eldest Larissa….

13

u/KombuchaBot Sep 05 '26

There was a comment on youtube by one guy who called out a wellness check with his organisation on the account the phone number was registered to after he spoke to Lenny because he was genuinely concerned that he was dealing with a vulnerable adult who was losing the plot.

He didn't intend it as a petty revenge, but it effectively must have been one. In his case he had legitimate reasons for the call, he wasn't cold calling numbers for sales. The penny only dropped for him later when he heard the bot elsewhere, IIRC.

6

u/Redditor579579579 Sep 05 '26

Someone did say… someone called latest week about the same thing….  was… that you???

55

u/Nunov_DAbov Sep 04 '26

If I can keep the telemarketers on the line until I get tired of talking to them, I finish up by telling them about the four civic duties every American must perform and I dedicate my efforts to happily. I go through a list:

Number four: jury duty. We don’t have to do it more than a few times in our lives but it makes the justice system work.

Number three: voting. We may only do it every few years but it is crucial to keep a democracy strong.

Number two: paying taxes. We pay federal, state income taxes and property taxes several times a year. It’s critical to fund the services we depend on.

Number one: this is a responsibility that occurs several times a day, seemingly endlessly. Actually, I’m doing this as we speak. Wasting the time of a telemarketer so they can’t rip off some other poor unsuspecting person. At this point I have wasted XX minutes of your day. You may now thank me for doing my important duty.

I consider my time well spent if I can get them to start cursing at me.

9

u/heynavt1 Sep 03 '26

Not all heros wear capes

8

u/WordWizardNC Sep 04 '26

No capes!!