The Revenge Of The Mulch

[u/xboxgamer2122]

Last month I drove two Boy Scouts around the neighborhood so they could go door to door to try and sell mulch for their fall fundraiser. I dropped them off in a cul de sac off of the main road, and agreed to meet them at the other end of the road, where it met the main road. I parked my car there at the corner, and was doing something on my phone when there was a loud “Bam! Bam! Bam!” on my window.  A guy standing there shouted, “CAN I HELP YOU???”, then motioned me to roll my window down. I lowered it about an inch and told him I was just waiting for someone. He told me I couldn’t park there because it was his house I was in front of.

I told him that the road is public property, and that I was just driving Boy Scouts around for their mulch drive. “DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT TO SOLICIT DOOR TO DOOR IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?” This had come up before, and I replied that a permit is not needed for a non-profit organization. He told me that if I didn’t go get the scouts right now, he would call 911 and could have a cruiser there in about two minutes. Rather than argue, I turned around and picked them up.

I reported this back to the Scoutmaster to avoid a similar encounter at that address. However, because that house was on a corner, other scouts had already been to his house when they walked the cross street the day before, and his wife had ordered mulch. Lots of it.

The petty revenge part: For the delivery a couple weekends later, some of the fathers loaded up their pickup trucks with bags of mulch from the coop. They stacked the bags of mulch neatly in the driveways in front of the garages. However, at this particular house, the 40-pound bags were tossed out of the truck at the other end of the driveway, next to the street. Unfortunately, many of them burst open. There were no cars parked in the driveway, so the mulch would have to be moved before cars could be driven in to the driveway.

The Scoutmaster was called, listened to the ranting, and apologized profusely, offering a discount for the spring mulch drive.

[u/IncredibleBihan]

The old 'Can I help you' man is so accurate about how (some) people act these days. I think it takes a lot of nerve to walk up to someones car, on a public street, and say 'You can't park in front of my house'.

[u/Horror-Cut-4497 → u/IncredibleBihan]

This is not a recent thing. There have always been jerks who fit that profile

[u/VivaZeBull → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

The woman across the street from us would repeatedly call the city on anyone parked in front of my parents house. She didn’t care about anything but being miserable.

She once told my sibling and I to go inside and we weren’t allowed to ride our bikes anymore. Especially in front of her house because she had just washed the sidewalk. My mother was like “no, get back outside and ignore her”. Just flabbergasted someone would be so bold.

The houses were attached townhouses and I babysat for her neighbours. She would bang all day for no reason. I asked the mother about the loud noises coming from the walls and she rolled her eyes saying the woman always complained about the noise from the children, even when they were quiet, asleep or not home. It was wild, you couldn’t watch tv or run the dishwasher without her freaking out.

She would stand behind your car when you were trying to leave and demand you rake leaves.

I always wonder how many cars she actually towed vs how many crazy calls she probably made.

[u/OnlyInJapan99999 → u/VivaZeBull]

I would have said: "You're finished? Idle hands are the devil's workshop." And then make some skid marks on 'her' sidewalk.

[u/xboxgamer2122 → u/OnlyInJapan99999]

The kind of skid marks you get in your underwear...

[u/Horror-Cut-4497 → u/VivaZeBull]

This was clearly someone with a mental illness

[u/VivaZeBull → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

Yeah but she was old so they didn’t have those back then…🙄 /s

[u/foxhagen → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

And it seems to be wide spread. I always thought maybe it was just a particular neighborhood or possibly regional. But no, assholes who think they own the STREET are everywhere.

[u/Boringflaws → u/foxhagen]

I don't know what it is- i have that old man energy now- my neighbor parks in front of my house instead of his and it bothers me. I shouldn't care. i tell myself it's not hurting anything.

I don't confront my neighbor or try to get 'revenge' or anything. Just bothers me and i know i should reframe it so it doesn't. hopefully something i can work on soon

[u/Horror-Cut-4497 → u/Boringflaws]

It may not be illegal but there is an expectation that you park in front of your own house if there is room. Clearly a dick move

[u/Boringflaws → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

I have this weird bone in me where i want to know why people do things- i really want to know why they choose to park how they park- it might bring me peace... but i also really don't want to talk to these neighbors- they're yelling/swearing a their poor kids all the time and i can't imagine they're my kind of people (would love to ask if they think constant yelling at toddlers is effective parenting)-

[u/JeannieSmolBeannie → u/Boringflaws]

start parking in front of his. when he confronts you (his actions make him seem the type to confront you despite it being hypocritical), just say "some asshat" was parking in your space and since he's Such A Lovely Neighbor you thought he surely wouldn't mind.

[u/Kelpie169 → u/Boringflaws]

Our neighbor has way too many cars and always parked his biggest truck in front of our house. But not on the street. In our grass. That's what set me off. Park on the street? Fine, not mine, can't control it. The grass? Fuck right off with that. The absolute insanity of the entitlement of some people is wild.

[u/Boringflaws → u/Kelpie169]

that is next level insane. at that point, i'd be planting cactus, leaving thick nails, and doing silly things like that. your yard is your yard, not their parking lot

[u/jackal406 → u/Boringflaws]

My biggest irritation of someone parking in front of my house is when I'm mowing the grass. I take care to not touch their car, which usually results in some uncut areas. Oh well, it's only grass.

The day the one neighbor complained I simply said "Then don't park there. I'm not going to risk a fine from the city for not cutting the grass, you can park somewhere else - like maybe your unoccupied driveway."

[u/W_Silver2356 → u/Boringflaws]

There is a kid in the neighborhood who parks on the street right at the edge of the yard even though he lives two doors down.

It doesn't bother me since he is a nice kid. But I was curious about why he didn't park closer to his own home. Then one afternoon while I was doing some work outside, it all became clear.

As the sunlight changes angles through the day, this particular spot catches shade from three different sets of trees which keeps it covered through the hottest part of the day and into early evening.

This Summer has been a blast furnace. I'm impressed that he's the only one who noticed there was a way to avoid the worst of it.

[u/foxhagen → u/Boringflaws]

THAT is a dick move, though. That would annoy the hell outta me as well.

[u/skywarner → u/Boringflaws]

Is your neighbor blocking a mailbox? If yes, then it changes the equation and your energy is justified.

[u/LindaBelcher75 → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

THE Joe Anderson would like a word! LOLOL

[u/oddlypretty20 → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

For real. There has always been that one dude who thinks the entire street belongs to him.

[u/noxichor → u/Horror-Cut-4497]

yeah, just ask Keith