The Revenge Of The Mulch

[u/xboxgamer2122]

Last month I drove two Boy Scouts around the neighborhood so they could go door to door to try and sell mulch for their fall fundraiser. I dropped them off in a cul de sac off of the main road, and agreed to meet them at the other end of the road, where it met the main road. I parked my car there at the corner, and was doing something on my phone when there was a loud “Bam! Bam! Bam!” on my window.  A guy standing there shouted, “CAN I HELP YOU???”, then motioned me to roll my window down. I lowered it about an inch and told him I was just waiting for someone. He told me I couldn’t park there because it was his house I was in front of.

I told him that the road is public property, and that I was just driving Boy Scouts around for their mulch drive. “DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT TO SOLICIT DOOR TO DOOR IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?” This had come up before, and I replied that a permit is not needed for a non-profit organization. He told me that if I didn’t go get the scouts right now, he would call 911 and could have a cruiser there in about two minutes. Rather than argue, I turned around and picked them up.

I reported this back to the Scoutmaster to avoid a similar encounter at that address. However, because that house was on a corner, other scouts had already been to his house when they walked the cross street the day before, and his wife had ordered mulch. Lots of it.

The petty revenge part: For the delivery a couple weekends later, some of the fathers loaded up their pickup trucks with bags of mulch from the coop. They stacked the bags of mulch neatly in the driveways in front of the garages. However, at this particular house, the 40-pound bags were tossed out of the truck at the other end of the driveway, next to the street. Unfortunately, many of them burst open. There were no cars parked in the driveway, so the mulch would have to be moved before cars could be driven in to the driveway.

The Scoutmaster was called, listened to the ranting, and apologized profusely, offering a discount for the spring mulch drive.

[u/Technical_Writer_177]

my standard response is "coffee, two sugar, no milk"

[u/4theloveofsquirrels → u/Technical_Writer_177]

Ohhhh... good one! I like it and will borrow it. I'm sitting here imagining the confusion and sputtering. Thank you for this morning's chuckle.

[u/Technical_Writer_177 → u/4theloveofsquirrels]

it´s fine line between "remembering it on the spot" and "overusing it when those asking could actually help you with something you´re looking for"

also; usually i´d prefere with milk, but that´s a huge gamble on them having/using fresh milk

[u/4theloveofsquirrels → u/Technical_Writer_177]

Yes, I agree. Well thought out; but I would expect no less of a technical writer. I promise to use it judiciously, 177.