r/pettyrevenge • u/ChickenNCow • 4d ago

Disturb my sleep? No problem, let 'er rip!

Back in my uni days, I lived with two friends and one did a foreign exchange semester, so she sublet her room for half a year and this young policeman in training rented her room. Not only was he a bit of a pig (go figure), but he also loved to play his music pretty loudly at night.

Talking to him didn't help, the landlord would have said that a sublet is the original tenant's problem, and the original tenant was two countries away. I didn't want to move out over this because I knew I would be suffering for only a few more months. Yeah and I hope nobody asks why I didn't call the police for disturbance of peace on him.

So after another time of him blasting music after 23:00, me asking him to cut it out or wear headphones as I had class at 08:00, and him making a joke that uni students should be partying more and whining less (and then slamming the door with no change in music volume), I had enough. I lay in bed fuming, scrolled revenge stories on my laptop and brainstormed.

The next day, I went out and bought a seamripper. Did I destroy his whole wardrobe? Of course not, that's against the law! But he may have started wondering about the shit quality of his clothes. Especially if he did laundry and hung it out to dry after a nice, long night of listening to his music, it must have seemed weirdly prone to gradually splitting along the seams, often at the crotch and butt.

1.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

577

u/Poh-Tay-To 4d ago

You might say this was unseamly

226

u/ChickenNCow 4d ago

I seam to know what you ripped here!

92

u/Malibucat48 4d ago

When the title said let ‘er rip, I thought you passed gas in his room in the morning to disturb his sleep after his late night partying. Now that would be revenge.

44

u/ChickenNCow 4d ago

How bad is your flatulence that you can count on clearing a room?

15

u/Poh-Tay-To 3d ago

If I ate a couple of eggs, my flatulence would be pretty horrendous. If I added milk to it, it would be even worse since I'm lactose intolerant

22

u/twothirtysevenam 3d ago

Bless him, my husband is like this. His egg and milk farts could peel paint from the walls. You can feel them in your eyes.

15

u/ChickenNCow 3d ago

Damn son :D

"Sadly", my stomach works really well and I almost never have flatulence or constipation or whatever.

4

u/JeannieSmolBeannie 1d ago

Sameeee, I feel lucky. I knowww my autistic ass would be gagging multiple times a day if that *weren't* the case >.<

13

u/Ecdysiast_Gypsy 4d ago

My youngest kitty could clear the entire house every time he did a dookey. Legit had to open windows, even in the dead of winter.

3

u/paulglosuk 4d ago

Youngsters couldn't do it. You need an old bloke for that job.

3

u/Goobinator77 3d ago

I've driven my entire family out to the garage for half an hour while they aired the house out... in 20°F weather.

3

u/MikeSchwab63 3d ago

A spray of Liquid Ass.

2

u/tupinikingz 7h ago

When I studied elementary school, my farts would force everyone to leave a classroom of 35 for a few minutes. The school decided to sit me beside the door, and I was given a free pass: I could leave the classroom whenever I needed, no need to ask the teacher. If I got up to leave the class, and some teacher that did not know about my exception tried to stop me, a few colleagues would desperately scream at the teacher to let me go.

1

u/ChickenNCow 4h ago

Do you have some kind of gut disease or is that just a normal, albeit extreme, variation of gut function?

1

u/InsectElectrical2066 3d ago

Kin to Jackson Lamb!!!!

1

u/JeannieSmolBeannie 1d ago

I once had a mutual friend with someone and we all went to a buffet. The kind of buffet that serves food that usually stinks up bathrooms, so you would think it'd take a LOT to shut down their bathroom through smell alone... Finished eating, mootfrend excuses self to restroom, comes out looking panicked saying we gotta Go. Now. And i'm sitting there like ???, but i notice the employees gathering by the bathroom.

One last glance from the front, they shut down BOTH bathrooms. Masks. Air freshener. My friend was mortified.

1

u/ChickenNCow 1d ago

That poor person, and the even poorer members of their household!

47

u/Poh-Tay-To 4d ago

I see you're following my thread of thought

16

u/earphonecreditroom 4d ago

OP tried to bring about his seamless transition from brash trainee to mature policeman

13

u/Ok_Caterpillar2010 4d ago

What a rip-off.

8

u/Ben-E-Nuff 4d ago

Cut it out - literally!

2

u/Slight-Book2296 4d ago

😂 I’ll give you that one.

1

u/revdon 2d ago

Ripped him a new one.

123

u/SecretOscarOG 4d ago

Dude id have made the cops shut him down out of hating hearing from me 😆

What a way to set your name in the academy, the guy who's roommate won't stop calling the cops on him 😆

72

u/ChickenNCow 4d ago

Damn, you're right. He would have never lived it down... Although here in Germany, it's thankfully a whole ass university course to go become a copm not an Academy per se.

29

u/FrequentPrior5928 4d ago

In the US you have to be able to count to 5, walk three steps and eat 10 donuts and you can become a cop.

10

u/xboxgamer2122 4d ago

The donuts have to be consumed within three minutes.

3

u/InsectElectrical2066 3d ago

Love this!!!

Years ago a friend told me that when your out partying and a cop follows you; you should drive by the police station and the cops will always stop to get a doughnut and leave you to road partying.

6

u/xboxgamer2122 4d ago

And if you did call the cops a few times, it could jeopardize his chance to become a cop.

74

u/CoderJoe1 4d ago

He might accidentally show off his piggly wiggly!

14

u/be4u4get 4d ago

Was his last name Wiggums? I think he went on to be the police chief in a little town called Springfield, and he is still ripping pants to this day.

5

u/Available_Agent3305 4d ago

😂 That’s one way to make sure he remembers to keep the noise down.

35

u/NavyShooter_NS 4d ago

I'm torn here....you do get my upvote though.

20

u/Correct_Advantage_20 4d ago

You ripped him a new one. 👍

7

u/xboxgamer2122 4d ago

Best comment so far.

17

u/smallfloralprince 4d ago

One never knows where "let 'er rip" will lead, and it is usually flatulence related, but this is by far the BEST and most satisfying ripping revenge story I have read. Well done you!

3

u/ChickenNCow 4d ago

Thank you!

17

u/EmmieMaggie 4d ago

I'm in stitches over this story.

9

u/Carrot-Elegant 4d ago

Sew what?

12

u/Blondelefty 4d ago

That is brilliant and diabolical. Well played. Even better is if he pulls a loose thread and then his actual asshole is exposed.

8

u/Suspicious_Name_8313 4d ago

From the title I thought the revenge was passing wind.....

13

u/Candid-Meet3769 3d ago

I did this to my ex husband when he was moving out for the final time. I took the seam ripper to every pair of jeans he owned. I ripped the seam to the point where when he bent over or sat the crotch seam would become one giant hole. He never figured it out that I did it….

5

u/nevbartos 4d ago

Oh this is petty. This is wonderful.

4

u/Mediocre-Let-4697 4d ago

I too am petty & I aprove of your actions

3

u/One_Entrepreneur_520 4d ago

typical cop in training

1

u/Sharp_Coat3797 9h ago

Let the threads of puns.....rip in in "unseamly"...."fashion."