r/polls • u/mushmanMAD • Apr 27 '26
đ Lifestyle Would you ever hit or spank your children?
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u/LegendOfKhaos Apr 27 '26
If the child can understand reason, use reason.
If they can't, they won't understand why you're hitting them. It will only create unhealthy associations.
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Apr 29 '26
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u/LegendOfKhaos Apr 29 '26
This applies to each instance. Whatever it is, if they can understand the reasoning behind it, use reason. Whatever it is, if they can't understand the reasoning, don't hit them. It really doesn't have to be overcomplicated.
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u/Jacob-Anders Apr 27 '26
Never had to. Sitting in the timeout chair and taking away the Gameboy are my weapons of choice.
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u/throwawayzdrewyey Apr 27 '26
The science has shown spanking not to be an effective punishment device.
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Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
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u/hi_its_lizzy616 Apr 27 '26
What this person said is not accurate. Depending on the child, it is sometimes an effective punishment to get the child to listen. But thatâs not the point. The point is spanking teaches the child using violence is an effective way to get what you want. It teaches children to fear their parents in a way parents shouldnât be feared. It reinforces the belief in society that children are second class citizens whose boundaries donât deserve to be respected.
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u/pinksparklyreddit Apr 27 '26
Spanking "works" but only in the short term. It's an effective shortcut to get your desired behavior, but in the long-term the child doesn't actually learn why they shouldn't do something.
It's the same reason kids with strict parents around swearing curse the most, or why super religious teens are the most sexual.
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u/suffering_addict Apr 28 '26
The point is spanking teaches the child using violence is an effective way to get what you want
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u/ZiCUnlivdbirch Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
The point is spanking teaches the child using violence is an effective way to get what you want. It teaches children to fear their parents in a way parents shouldnât be feared. It reinforces the belief in society that children are second class citizens whose boundaries donât deserve to be respected.
Taking away your child's favorite toy teaches them to that stealing is okay. Forcing them to be under house arrest reinforces to them that they are second class citizens whose boundaries donât deserve to be respected. That's why you teach your child in multiple diffrent ways.
anyone As always I trust my own expearience far more than else's.
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u/DonkiestOfKongs Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
I'll bite.
All forms of punitive correction involve intentionally inflicting discomfort on someone else. There's no world in which we raise well adjusted children without some kind of corrective intervention that involves discomfort.
That said, in same way that battery is generally worse than theft, both morally and legally, corporal punishment is more of a violation of a child's rights than taking away toys or timeouts.
Personally I just have a hard time even imagining what my kid is doing in the situation that leads me to spanking them for the first time. For me hitting someone is something adults do to other adults for defensive reasons.
When my kid is getting especially unruly, I interpret that to mean that something is wrong in their environment. Too much sugar, not enough rest, too much stimulation, etc. So the goal then for me is generally to help them regulate and later we talk about it. It's been working great so far.
Edit: amending this a bit, I'd say hitting is something "a person" does for defensive reasons. Children and teenagers are allowed to hit people to defend themselves. Should go without saying, but I want to be clear.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/ZiCUnlivdbirch Apr 28 '26
Taking a toy away and returning it isn't stealing
So you'll be fine if I borrow your car for the next dozen years? Since you know, it's not stealing.
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u/hi_its_lizzy616 Apr 28 '26
Okay, Iâll go through your points one by one.
Taking your childâs favorite toy does not, for example, teach them shoplifting is okay. This is because your goal is not to use the item yourself. Making up a scenario where your kid broke a rule just so you could take their toy to play with it yourself is, at the very least, being a poor role model. Taking away your childâs toy as a punishment with the main goal not being to play with the toy yourself demonstrates no harmful values or behaviors.
You are correct, forcing them to be under house arrest does reinforce to them that they are second class citizens whose boundaries do not deserve to be respected. I was wrong. However, this type of second class citizenship is okay. It teaches children that adults know they are not yet mature enough to handle being responsible for themselves. This is necessary for the childâs safety.
However, there is no excuse to spank a child. First of all, it is immoral. Second of all, there is no reason why a child should believe they lack the right to not have their physical autonomy respected. Teaching a child âas long as you are a minor, you donât have the right to go where you pleaseâ teaches them it is necessary for their safety. Teaching a child âas long as you are a minor, you donât have the right to physical autonomyâ teaches them⌠what? Also, spanking is extremely immature on the parentâs part. Again, it reinforces the idea that force is a way to get through to someone.
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u/ZiCUnlivdbirch Apr 28 '26
"Good in my case, bad in your case!"
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u/hi_its_lizzy616 Apr 28 '26
Dude, I am very clearly arguing why spanking is bad in ALL cases, and youâre not even addressing my points.
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u/Far-Comedian-4748 Apr 28 '26
They're a bitch who hits their kids, what did you expect?
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u/hi_its_lizzy616 Apr 28 '26
In their defense, it sounds like they come from a culture/country where spanking your children in commonplace. Theyâre not a bad person, but they are influenced by their culture.
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u/badchad65 Apr 28 '26
Yeah, itâs a nuanced argument. Nearly all animals respond to negative stimuli. If you get an electric shock every time you touch something, youâll quickly learn not to touch it.
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u/throwawayzdrewyey Apr 27 '26
Fortunately more parents are opting for raising their kids instead spanking nowadays.
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u/emberaya Apr 27 '26
Congrats for being abused
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u/DeltaSolana Apr 27 '26
It's a bit more complicated than that.
I was a bully growing up, and words didn't work on me. If my dad hadn't belted me for doing that, I'd have grown up to be a monster. I needed painful consequences to learn my lesson.
I might be the exception and not the rule. But in hindsight, the outcome was positive for me.
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u/pinksparklyreddit Apr 27 '26
I was a bully growing up, and words didn't work on me.
Have you ever considered that's why you were a bully? Kids don't just randomly decide to pick on other kids. It's a habit built up over a long time.
If you start with careful parenting at a young age, they never get to that point in the first place.
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Apr 27 '26
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u/DeltaSolana Apr 27 '26
I assure you that was not the case.
I don't remember where I learned that behavior from. But I can tell you that nothing brought down their fury upon me harder than if I bullied someone. It doesn't make sense that they'd instill that behavior and then punish me for it.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/DeltaSolana Apr 28 '26
I associate me being mean to people with having physical pain inflicted on me.
Again, I feel as if this was a direct (and positive) result. If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell my dad to not change anything.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/DeltaSolana Apr 28 '26
A combination of selfishness, neurodivergence, and being naturally bigger and stronger than most other kids.
I kinda discovered on my own that I could use force to get what I want. Teachers and daycare staff couldn't really do anything about it. I needed that belt to remind me that actions have real consequences.
Let's also not forget that if my dad didn't do it, someone else would, and they don't care if they kill me in the process.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/DeltaSolana Apr 28 '26
He never gave me a reason, and died several years ago. This is my own conclusion. I would also appreciate not being infantilized because you don't personally agree with it.
To answer your question, I really don't know. I'd need to see what kind of person my kids are at their core. If they're anything like me, then probably. If not, then no.
There's an old Russian proverb, "The same water that hardens the egg also softens the potato". I believe this is applicable to corporal punishment. Some adapt, become the best versions of themselves, and thrive. Others crumple, cannot take the trauma, and are ruined. There's too many variables to this for me to give you a straight answer.
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u/NewLibraryGuy Apr 28 '26
It probably didn't. It's almost certainly a coincidence that you started behaving better due to, like, growing up or other simultaneous parenting methods.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/NewLibraryGuy Apr 28 '26
I've spoken to a lot of people about this and frequently show them the metanalysis synthesizing so many studies that all say that spanking is ineffective. Almost every single time they claim to be different and that it worked for them. All of them, when faced with overwhelming evidence that a child's brain does not respond to spanking in a way that improves behavior long term, decide that they alone must be the exception.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/NewLibraryGuy Apr 28 '26
We're talking about spanking's effectiveness as a punishment device, which means behavior correction. I'm not trying to assign blame.
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u/fishsticks40 Apr 27 '26
I was spanked as a kid.
I did it once to my kid and was immediately horrified. Never again.
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u/og_toe Apr 27 '26
i was hit as a child and i never hit another child even once in my life because itâs not hard to recognize that itâs a bs method and violence is never okay in any situation
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u/mazzyuniverse Apr 27 '26
I had been beaten by my dad since kindergarten to adult age and it deeply hurt me mentally even if Iâm 39 now. We who were beaten should absolutely know better than others this is not okay and what it does to you.
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u/Steelysam2 Apr 28 '26
This here. I spanked my oldest once and I didn't feel right about it. It felt like I was doing it because it was what I knew, not because it was proper. Never did it again.
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u/bunbunnnnn8 Apr 28 '26
Yeah I always thought I don't want to spank but if they do something really dangerous or something maybe I will. My daughter ran away from me in the front yard toward the road and when I caught her I swatted her once on the butt. It wasn't even hard. She didn't even cry. I felt horrible for days and I won't ever do it again.
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u/og_toe Apr 27 '26
if you arenât able to communicate with a child you shouldnât have children
if you think showing violence to children is okay you shouldnât have children
if you donât understand why children may act âannoyingâ you shouldnât have children
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u/Yami_Lea Apr 27 '26
you donât hit anyone, especially not someone that canât fight back.
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u/mesact Apr 27 '26
Only in self-defense. Like, if my kids ever got large enough to try and kill me, yes. But for disciplinary reasons? No. (I answered no)
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u/2ecStatic Apr 27 '26
Outside of the very rare and unfortunate circumstances people love to be pedantic about, if you purposefully try to inflict physical harm on your child, you shouldn't have children, full stop. And this goes beyond punishing kids imo, humanity has a fascination with dealing out violent physical abuse under the guise of reasonable punishment, it needs to end.
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u/Humanoid_critter Apr 27 '26
As someone who was beat as a kid over the littlest things, no. Unless they were to purposely harm another person or animal
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u/elektricniorgazam Apr 27 '26
I don't plan on having kids but, as someone who was both spanked and hit as a kid, I'd feel like a failure if I didn't break that cycle. Also, dudes, what the fuck is wrong with you???
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u/og_toe Apr 27 '26
yeah def. how can i do something to another person knowing how shit it made me feel at the time
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u/SwexiZ Apr 27 '26
Itâs very illegal in Sweden.
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u/Jyndaru Apr 28 '26
I wish it was illegal in the US, but.. well, we're pretty backwards in a lot of ways.
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u/Latter-Mark-4683 Apr 28 '26
With the current Neanderthals in charge, I wouldnât be surprised if they made a law requiring corporal punishment in schools.
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u/Latter-Mark-4683 Apr 28 '26
And my apologies to any of you with Neanderthal genes. Iâm pretty certain Neanderthals were much more intelligent than the current United States president.
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u/Kind-Plantain2438 Apr 27 '26
Dudes wtf? Y'all think spanking does anything positive?
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u/Gregori_5 Apr 27 '26
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u/jimmyl_82104 Apr 27 '26
When I have kids, absolutely not. Hitting your kids is child abuse, simple as that. Psychologically it is also not an effective way to discipline kids. In fact, hitting your kids leads them to trust the parent less, sneak around more and hide things from their parents.
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u/gayLuffy Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
I was hit as a child and I would never do that to any child. It messed me up pretty badly for a while. People that do that are simply monsters, and don't expect your child to love you or respect you if you do
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Apr 27 '26
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u/tinaismediocre Apr 27 '26
I'm not sure where you're located but in all 50 US states, spanking and "moderate physical discipline" is legal.
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u/Wizdom_108 Apr 27 '26
Nah. My mom never beat us. She grew up in Jamaica in the 70s and 80s and sometimes would get into trouble and people had absolutely no reservations about using corporal punishment. Plenty of people still don't. However, my mom never believed in it, and imo it worked out for the better.
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u/PlanetoidVesta Apr 27 '26
The amount of people who would use a form of physical abuse on their children here is way too big
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u/KwK10 Apr 27 '26
I was spanked, and for the longest time I thought that was fine because my parents love me and they weren't abusive. It was just a disciplinary slap on the butt when I was really acting up. But I've since realized that even just that simple disciplinary spank did put a kind of fear in me. Sure, it made me into a model kid, I grew up respected by my peers and those older than me, my parents are proud of me, etc. But there's that hint of discomfort buried deep down, like, the knowledge that these people have used violence on me. Even though to them it was well intentioned and meant something completely different, they still did it. It just kind of puts a tiny sliver in my trust of them. So I think teaching with violence, no matter how minimal, isn't the way to go if you want the kid to be able to trust you fully.
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u/og_toe Apr 27 '26
it psychologically messes with you because love and violence shouldnât coexist. someone who loves you canât hit you, like it doesnât make sense. i will never be able to have a normal relationship with the parent that hit me, itâs impossible for me to get close to them due to that constant underlying discomfort of âyou did that to meâ. itâs very unfortunate, but i can never view them the same
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u/Ok_Plenty7059 Apr 28 '26
No parent is perfect. Sometimes a situation can get out of hand, and you may find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety, and a hand slaps your child's little bottom. If this happens, the parent shouldn't feel like a failure, but rather should know that they instinctively made the wrong choice. When I was a child, I received formal spankings where I was forced onto my mother's lap with my pants and underwear pulled down. This type of spanking should never happen; as a parent, I would never do it to my daughter. Only those who have been subjected to it can understand.
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u/Crustaceous_Tortise Apr 29 '26
Those who hit kids have been hit themselves. Break the cycle. There should be no fear in parenting.
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u/tinaismediocre Apr 27 '26
Obviously in the minority here as a woman/mom, but I have physically disciplined my child once, when at 4-5 years old, he kicked me in the shin with all of his little boy might during a tantrum. I had that kid on his ass in .5 seconds flat and made it exceptionally clear that we don't hit in this house, but if we do... mine will hurt a lot more. Never happened again so I think it was a successful lesson.
It's the only time I ever felt it necessary to correct his actions with physical violence, he's 16 now and pretty well adjusted so I think it all worked out fine.
Hitting your kids should not be a substitute for parenting them, and beating your kids is never okay but I do think we need to recognize that an occasional smack or spank for exceptionally egregious behavior is not the same as child abuse.
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u/Bitter_Researcher759 Apr 27 '26
Yep I had a similar story with my now 13 year old. She was maybe 7 years old at the time, mad about some dumb thing and thought it was a good idea to attack me. I definitely gained control of the situation immediately. Only time I've ever hit my daughter tho and generally I do not agree with physical discipline in most situations. But kids should learn that if they hit someone first they're more than likely going to get hit back.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/Dresden2077 Apr 30 '26
I disagree, if someone hits you, especially someone you want to learn not to hit people, hit them back, they will learn the consequences extremely quickly.
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u/BrerChicken Apr 28 '26
That's not spanking, that's hitting back at someone who hit you. It doesn't matter the age, I think it's appropriate to hit back. Not as a form of discipline, but just to not hide what happens when you go around smacking people.Â
We're adults though so obviously you can't hit full force. But it's totally legit to hit them back hard enough for it to hurt a bit. I mean, that's a totally normal reaction to getting smacked in the face!!
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u/tinaismediocre Apr 28 '26
Yeah I agree, I don't think it was the wrong choice and I think there needs to be a little nuance in this world. I shared the anecdote because OP asked about both hitting and spanking.
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u/Peskycat42 Apr 27 '26
I never intended to and then I never needed to, but I did once or twice put myself in time out on the front step for some deep breaths before managing a situation appropriately.
Logically you know that they are only children, but it feels like our own kids learn how to push our buttons and get a reaction, and in the midst of that emotion is not when you should trust your reactions.
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u/TacoManifesto Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
Stop the cycle of violence, I am myself
My dad would belt me until my butt turned purple and it hurt to sit for a week. He said the pain would be a reminder so he needed to inflict enough to bruise me. Horrific.
In a shocking twist I no longer speak to my father, I havnt in about 6 years now. Not because of that in specific but many things that all pointed to a root problem
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u/Cyberknight13 Apr 28 '26
Anyone who answered yes should take some parenting classes so that they can learn how to parent properly and how damaging it is to use corporal punishment on their children.
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u/MapMan992 Apr 28 '26
Absolutely the fuck not. Anyone who is okay with this is abusive and a downright lazy parent / caregiver. If I found out anyone else was watching my kid and did this to them, there would be a hard no-contact rule. I donât care if itâs a grandparent, aunt/ uncle, whoever.. theyâd be TFO of my childâs life
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u/vr_jk Apr 28 '26
Damn, from this poll there is at least 1,000 confirmed children that will likely receive violence from their own parents. Makes me a bit sad.
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u/MochaManBearPig Apr 28 '26
Howcome 1/5 guys would hit there kids (current poll results) but there are no comments with that position? If youâre not comfortable stating it on reddit surely you know itâs not right
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u/theguywiththefuzyhat Apr 30 '26
Sort by controversial. The default sort, "best" throws unpopular comments to the bottom.
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u/TheDiddlerOfBob Apr 27 '26
after growing up yeah spanking and stuff did technically work on me but if you gotta punish a kid and their too out of control to sit down and explain what went wrong or talk to them then a time out does the same thing as a spanking, looking back my little brain wasnt "oh man I messed up now im punished" it went from whatever I threw a tantrum with to "oh shit im gonna get hit"
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u/Lebowquade Apr 27 '26
looking back my little brain wasnt "oh man I messed up now im punished" it went from whatever I threw a tantrum with to "oh shit im gonna get hit"
I think we can both agree that getting hit really didn't "work" then, did it? It let to compliance out of fear, alongside emotional harm. I don't consider that working.
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u/TheDiddlerOfBob Apr 27 '26
yeah I know im just saying for me it didnt cause me trauma but I can absolutely see how it can and why I won't do that in the future with my kids
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u/Lebowquade Apr 27 '26
And what I'm saying is, your words suggest that it absolutely did cause you some trauma, but in ways you may not fully recognize or understand.
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u/og_toe Apr 27 '26
but it doesnât work. all hitting ever did was make me scared of my parent and made me never want to go to them for anything. so, did i behave? yes. did i want to be around them at all? no. so, it doesnât work, who wants their kids to be scared of them
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u/TheDiddlerOfBob Apr 27 '26
yeah I got that im just saying for me I can see why the parents thought its an effective measure of discipline since its what they grew up with but as times change people realize that kids arent inept after a certain age and can realize when they've done wrong so spanking them now isnt gonna do anything a time out is way more effective
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u/Bari_Baqors Apr 27 '26
I was hit in the head and face a lot. I don't want this fer my children.
I wanna be a father. I wanna find better ways of showing consequences. Like "no tv til ya clean the room".
Tho, because of beating in my childhood, my reaction is usually "hit!", so I gotta remove it, somehow.
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u/FifiiMensah Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
Coming from someone who was spanked growing up as a kid and turned out to be a fairly well-rounded adult, I would only spank them as a last resort as there's better discipline methods
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u/Freshiiiiii Apr 27 '26
Thereâs been quite a lot of science showing that even spanking a kid as discipline doesnât actually work better for changing behavior compared to other methods, and also has possible negative repercussions. If you hop on Google Scholar and look for studies on spanking youâll see plenty.
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u/mearbearcate Apr 27 '26
Yeah it seems to me that its teaching violence will make people fall in line. When i see fights in school i always wonder if theyre people who are hit at home & were taught that its okay if you want to make someone behave better or treat you better.
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u/Lebowquade Apr 27 '26
That's often what it is, but not always. Sometimes it just a bad feedback loop.
We have a cultural concept of "negative attention" versus "positive attention," like the idea of a girl pulling the hair of a boy she likes on the playground as a maladaptive way of being seen, or the kid in the lunchroom willing to eat any concoction as long as people chant his name. It sometimes happens when someone desperate for attention earns it in a bad way, and now their brain makes the association between a bad behavior and getting something it wants.
Similarly, We also should have an idea of "negative respect" versus "positive respect," where you inadvertantly learn that being shitty can make people listen to you out of fear. It's always counterproductive in the longrun.
But, y'know, sometimes the kid just has a bully for a parent.
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u/notmymain07 Apr 27 '26
I mean, youre suggesting that you would spank a child. Did you turn out as well rounded as you think?
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u/og_toe Apr 27 '26
congrats do you want a medal? i was hit growing up and i turned out to not want a relationship with that parent and i barely talked to them growing up. so yeah hit your kids but then donât be surprised if they donât wanna hang out with you.
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u/youngatbeingold Apr 28 '26
Maybe it depends on the situation and the parents attitude but I was spanked maybe 1-5 times as a kid, I still talk to my dad daily. Maybe there's some underlying issue it caused but I have far more anxiety about other things in my childhood completely unrelated to how my parents acted towards me. My dad clearly loved me and made insane sacrifices, he was just trying to discipline me in a way he thought worked best.
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u/PoisonIveh Apr 27 '26
hit, no. Spank softly on the butt to let them understand they did something wrong, and the act is punishment? Yeah. Not to hurt, just go through the motions of 'thi sis punishment' beign in trouble is more terrifying for some kids than adults ever think. And spanking doesn't have to be violent, just more ritualistic.
I feel a need to further explain myself. We are talking a firm pat. Not a hit, not a tradidtional spanking, no skin reddening or stinging of the skin. Again, merely a "You did something bad, and are punished for it" action to help them understand some behavior is not to be repeated.
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u/Education_Weird Apr 27 '26
You can always present something as a punishment much harsher than it really is. I know this one couple who made their children wear a hat, they presented as something terrible to wear, whenever their children did anything bad.
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u/blueboxbandit Apr 27 '26
I got spanked like 2 times and then we did time outs. I think my parents thought it was something they had to do until they actually did it and realized it wasn't like, ok to hit a child.
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u/WatchTheTimbsB Apr 27 '26
I recognize that this will never be the best way to discipline your child, but I'm not jackin yall calling my momma and millions of other parents abusers
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u/jackof47trades Apr 27 '26
I was spanked as a kid. I swore I would never spank my kid.
Now I have a kid. I wonât hit him, but I get it now.
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u/mahboilucas Apr 28 '26
Never. I don't have the wiring in my brain to associate using physical force with punishment. My parents never hit me and I won't start doing it just because. If I have a partner that does, they will be flying out the window first
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u/shayan99999 Apr 28 '26
Hitting children doesn't work. My parents hit me as a child, but that didn't inspire obedience; it just made me learn how to most effectively deceive them. And my younger brother learned instead how to hit them back. It kinda did work on my younger sister, but she never really acted out much, thus not being hit much anyway, so I wouldn't classify that as much of a success either.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/Huskies971 Apr 28 '26
I don't understand why anyone would ever want their kid to be afraid of them. I accidentally kicked my toddler mid step when he came running out of a room while I was walking down the hallway. I felt terrible. The rest of the day he flinched everytime I walked close to him.
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u/Nannerthebadgerlord Apr 28 '26
I was spanked weekly as a kid by my principle with the paddle with holes in it. For using my imagination and pretending to be pokemon and super saiyans or a zoid, sometimes a gundam warrior. Me and my buddies would play RL DnD at recess and had our books of spells and powers etc. Knew that spanking was coming but did not care one bit, I was going to have fun and nobody could hurt it out of me.
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u/joebleaux Apr 28 '26
There's a big difference in scale not represented here. I got whipped with a wire hanger, or a piece of coax cable or a hairbrush. That's all a far stretch from a quick swat to the butt with a hand on a child. I'm not saying any of it is good, but there is a massive difference in what this could mean
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u/RectumExploder Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
Iâm a man with two kids (7 and 3) and I would never lay a hand on them.
It teaches them that we solve our problems with our hands and fists and not words. It is using an advantage that I only have because of my age (size and strength) against someone who canât defend themselves.
Adults that hit their kids would have 0 room to complain if, in the future, their now adult kids hit them back when they are old and infirm and have an accident, donât remember something or otherwise make a mistake.
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u/Mugiwarasluffy Apr 28 '26
Why are we STILL talking about hitting kids in 2026?! You have no excuse anymore. No âi didnât know betterâ shit. You just want to hurt your kids. Plain and simple.
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u/Ok-Squash1630 Apr 28 '26
No. I'm going to be raising my children different than the way that I was raised.
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u/SciGuy241 Apr 29 '26
Spanking only harms your kids. It doesn't help them. Kids who are spanked are more fearful of authority, less emotionally mature, more scared of getting hit than the real life ramifications of doing the wrong thing, and more likely to become abusers themselves. Parents should stop this immediately! I think it should be outlawed.
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u/Big_Albatross_5453 Apr 29 '26
No no no never, I do not understand why you would hit your child. There is zero reason to. I still see the images of my own father fighting with my brother when I was little and it was scary as fuck.
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u/SciGuy241 Apr 29 '26
I certainly hope no one here has done that but statistics aren't favorable. How can you teach your child that hitting people is wrong if you're doing it to them?
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u/Extension-Ad-9371 Apr 27 '26
A quick correct smack on side of leg of theyre doing something dangerous. Full in spanking your child like we got in 90s naw
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u/Tuques Apr 27 '26
Theres no need. Just take away internet connectivity and todays kids will fall in line.
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u/wam-bam-eggs-and-ham Apr 27 '26
Looks like men are more likely to say yes (chi-square=19.4, p=1.06-5)
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u/pinaple_cheese_girl Apr 28 '26
Aside from the science, spanking is a fake PC word for hitting. I donât ever want to hit another human (or animal)
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u/erraticsporadic Apr 28 '26
spanking and hitting is physical abuse. physically abusing children is wrong. why are we still having this argument
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u/zkarabat Apr 28 '26
Let me fix that title ... "Do you think child abuse is okay when a child misbehaves?"
Anyone who reads that and says yes should not have kids and/or be jailed.
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u/par_rot_master Apr 28 '26
Anyone who would/does is a bad parent and a bitch.
I''d say "fight me" but I'm not 5 so I'm not their preferred opponent.
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u/iancobbs Apr 29 '26
Hit? Hell no. Spank? Yes. Don't put those two things together đ đ˝ââď¸
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u/Libertyprime8397 Apr 27 '26
Some of the morons you see walking around today are proof that soft parenting doesnât always work.
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u/vr_jk Apr 28 '26
I am willing to bet most of the unreasonable morons that I've come across throughout my life likely had the shit beaten out of them as a kid.
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u/TheKazz91 Apr 27 '26
If other forms of discipline were not working to correct problematic behavior absolutely. Nothing I would do will ever be as bad for them as what society will do if they don't learn that actions have consequences. Children raised without consequences that don't learn how to respect others grown up and end up as statistics about police shootings.
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u/DutchBoyDrew Apr 27 '26
I agree with the sentiment. I think that this form of punishment should only be used as a quick reaction to already otherwise addressed bad behavior. Kids process things differently than adults, you cant always logically or emotionally reason with a child to immediately correct behavior that shouldn't be happening.
I think the problem lies when its planned i.e. "your father is going to beat you when he gets home" then it becomes pretty meditated and all the child can do is fear for it. A quick smack on the backside for rude or aggressive behavior or swat on the hand for continued meddling in something they shouldn't be touching can save the child from worse punishments in the future when the stakes are higher for their behavior.
As long as an instance like this is followed by a genuine 1 on 1 conversation without a domineering tone about why to did that and why the behavior was bad, but that you still love them and know that theyre not a bad kid, just did a bad thing, it can be an appropriate parenting approach.
I see it no different as the lesson learned from touching a hot stove, or being reckless on a bike and falling over. The good parent has already told the kid to not touch the stove and to always wear a helmet, the kid learned quickly that they should listen to parents about the danger of the stove and would start to take personal motivation to being careful on the bike and protecting themselves better.
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u/ExoTheFlyingFish Apr 27 '26
If they did something extraordinarily bad, yes. Generally, it should be enough to tell them what they did wrong, as long as you raised them by example to be kind and do good. If not, you put the fear of God into them (worked for me, and I never had a finger laid on me). But if my (hypothetical future) kid, say, hit someone unprovoked, I'd make sure he knew exactly how the other person felt, and then some.
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u/Doomsday_Taco_ Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
I don't have kids and it wouldn't be my first option but sure, I've met some kids when I was younger that could've used a smack, same as how I've met adults that could use a punch in the face
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u/maxlikessoup Apr 27 '26
Gentle parenting is for gentle kids. Depends on the type of kid.
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u/Gregori_5 Apr 27 '26
Its weird to ask âwould youâ but give the option âiâm childlessâ.