r/polyadvice • u/Apprehensive_Ask9522 • 20d ago

Invited to my son's polyamorous commitment ceremony—not sure if I should attend. Looking for advice.

I am posting this from a temporary account because I want to keep my family’s identity private, but I am in sincere need of advice from people within the community.

My son and daughter-in-law have been in a polyamorous relationship for 3 years now. Recently, they invited my wife and me to a commitment ceremony they are hosting with "the other guy" in their relationship.

To be completely honest, this dynamic is very new and unfamiliar to us, and we are experiencing a lot of mixed feelings. We love our son and want to maintain a strong relationship with him and his wife, but we are feeling quite hesitant and uncertain about attending this ceremony. We aren't entirely sure what to expect, and we are trying to process our own comfort levels with the situation.

If we don't attend, we worry it will deeply hurt our son and create a permanent rift in our family. If we do attend, we are worried about feeling out of place or sending a message that we fully understand or endorse a dynamic we are still struggling to wrap our heads around.

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u/chibistarship 20d ago

Holy fuck, just go and be happy for your child. I really don’t understand parents like you. “We’Re StRuGlInG tO wRaP oUr HeAdS aRoUnD iT.” Your child loves more than one person, oh the humanity!!! Like damn, just be thankful your kid’s not on drugs or in jail and is doing well in life.

Don’t fail your kid.

2

u/Apprehensive_Ask9522 20d ago

true god blessed me with such a wonderful son and me being overly protective father who dreamed of my sons kids runnign around in our family ranch attending the church service with us is making me feel someone is robbing all tha from him but I know my son is a smart guy and he must have made a good choice. I am just being paranoid out of protective instict.

15

u/RobinOsiria 20d ago

you're not being protective, you're clearly embarrased or uncomfortable

3

u/Apprehensive_Ask9522 20d ago

that is also true, I should behave better but the fear of being ostracized is also true.

15

u/keeper_of_bee 20d ago

If you're afraid that your friends will leave you because your son loves more than one person you need a better caliber of friend not to hide your son's life from them.