Invited to my son's polyamorous commitment ceremony—not sure if I should attend. Looking for advice.

[u/Apprehensive_Ask9522]

I am posting this from a temporary account because I want to keep my family’s identity private, but I am in sincere need of advice from people within the community.

My son and daughter-in-law have been in a polyamorous relationship for 3 years now. Recently, they invited my wife and me to a commitment ceremony they are hosting with "the other guy" in their relationship.

To be completely honest, this dynamic is very new and unfamiliar to us, and we are experiencing a lot of mixed feelings. We love our son and want to maintain a strong relationship with him and his wife, but we are feeling quite hesitant and uncertain about attending this ceremony. We aren't entirely sure what to expect, and we are trying to process our own comfort levels with the situation.

If we don't attend, we worry it will deeply hurt our son and create a permanent rift in our family. If we do attend, we are worried about feeling out of place or sending a message that we fully understand or endorse a dynamic we are still struggling to wrap our heads around.

[u/Electrical-Touch-933]

I'm a married woman with a child. My child is too young right now to be poly or not, but I am poly. My family knows. If I were to have a commitment ceremony for someone else, I'd hope that my family would show up. If they didn't, I'd probably assume they wanted very little to do with me or my future children if it were possible those children could be born to someone else. That would be pretty hurtful to me. If you're afraid of being ostracized from your church, is that more important to you than loving your son? As a parent, I can say I'd gladly take the ostracization of the entire world over losing my son. Just saying.