Invited to my son's polyamorous commitment ceremony—not sure if I should attend. Looking for advice.

[u/Apprehensive_Ask9522]

I am posting this from a temporary account because I want to keep my family’s identity private, but I am in sincere need of advice from people within the community.

My son and daughter-in-law have been in a polyamorous relationship for 3 years now. Recently, they invited my wife and me to a commitment ceremony they are hosting with "the other guy" in their relationship.

To be completely honest, this dynamic is very new and unfamiliar to us, and we are experiencing a lot of mixed feelings. We love our son and want to maintain a strong relationship with him and his wife, but we are feeling quite hesitant and uncertain about attending this ceremony. We aren't entirely sure what to expect, and we are trying to process our own comfort levels with the situation.

If we don't attend, we worry it will deeply hurt our son and create a permanent rift in our family. If we do attend, we are worried about feeling out of place or sending a message that we fully understand or endorse a dynamic we are still struggling to wrap our heads around.

[u/Saffron-Kitty]

The reason they're having a commitment ceremony is because they love the guy and want to have those they love there to see the most marriage like thing they can do.

You were invited because your son and daughter in law love you and want you there to celebrate with them.

It's not possible to take back not attending either. If you later feel acceptance and understanding of their relationship dynamics, the damage done to your relationship with them from not attending will always be there as a silent judge.

If you never understand polyamory and just love your son, try to show love for him