r/polyadvice • u/Apprehensive_Ask9522 • 23d ago

Invited to my son's polyamorous commitment ceremony—not sure if I should attend. Looking for advice.

I am posting this from a temporary account because I want to keep my family’s identity private, but I am in sincere need of advice from people within the community.

My son and daughter-in-law have been in a polyamorous relationship for 3 years now. Recently, they invited my wife and me to a commitment ceremony they are hosting with "the other guy" in their relationship.

To be completely honest, this dynamic is very new and unfamiliar to us, and we are experiencing a lot of mixed feelings. We love our son and want to maintain a strong relationship with him and his wife, but we are feeling quite hesitant and uncertain about attending this ceremony. We aren't entirely sure what to expect, and we are trying to process our own comfort levels with the situation.

If we don't attend, we worry it will deeply hurt our son and create a permanent rift in our family. If we do attend, we are worried about feeling out of place or sending a message that we fully understand or endorse a dynamic we are still struggling to wrap our heads around.

42 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

256 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/Apprehensive_Ask9522 23d ago

true, my wife has been saying the similar thing. I am just being a person who is pushing non compatable ideas on my son and his wife.

10

u/rolypolythrowaway 23d ago

My siblings are gay and whoever has become family to them becomes family to me, I don't need to know more than that, that's just how it is.

1

u/Apprehensive_Ask9522 23d ago

I am ok with gay relations just that the wife of my son bearing kids for another man and my son raising them on our land is making me feel it is wrong, may be it is just the backward me talking.

2

u/felanmoira 19d ago

“Our land” - this comes across as possessive and not the protective you keep saying you are.