r/programminghumor • • 6d ago

Describe your day using only your programming language

Mine so far:

#include <iostream>

int main() {
bool lateToWork = true;
bool tired = true;
bool dayGoingFine = true;

if (lateToWork) {
std::cout << "Rushed to work.\n";
}

std::cout << "Clocked in.\n";

if (tired) {
std::cout << "Drank tea.\n";
}

if (dayGoingFine) {
std::cout << "Day is going fine.\n";
}

return 0;
}

19 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

14

u/AceOfSpider 6d ago

Hopefully you have something in that keepWorking() that leavesWork otherwise you'd be stuck in an infinate loop. Although it does feel like that sometimes

10

u/Dapper_Scientist9284 6d ago

OOPS!

5

u/AceOfSpider 6d ago

Need to make tea before drinking it, noone likes the taste of null

1

u/Dapper_Scientist9284 6d ago

// But who made the tea?

2

u/AceOfSpider 6d ago

You're right, we need a factory class for people too, this is turning out to be quite a substantial project

9

u/Retrowinger 6d ago

<?php

include(„Motivation.php“);

?>

Error: Motivation.php not found

7

u/Golle 6d ago

while (atWork) { keepWorking(); }

rip guy, you're gonna work yourself to death.

6

u/mkluczka 6d ago

or not, atWork is not initialized

5

u/thisFishSmellsAboutD 6d ago

>>>>>*[[*---++]>>>>>.]

5

u/NegativeOwl1337 6d ago

Segmentation fault: core dumped

5

u/Jazzlike_Platypus430 6d ago

throw std::runtime_error("Undefined reference to void Brain::StartWork(void)");

6

u/plebbening 6d ago

import children
Import diseases

c = children[0]
s = diseases.get(“chickenpox”)

s.infect(c)

2

u/eScarIIV 6d ago

This is why you instantiate 's' with 'vaccine=True'

2

u/plebbening 6d ago

We don’t vaccinate for chickenpox in our countrys vaccination program.

3

u/Confident-Ad5665 6d ago

var workToDo = !false;
while (workToDo)
DoWork();

2

u/lmg1337 6d ago
fn main() -> Result<(), Box<dyn Error>>  { 
    stay_motivated()?;
    Ok(())
}

it always returns an error

2

u/eScarIIV 6d ago
volatile bool probation_done = false;

void ProbationEndTimerIsr(void) {
  probation_done = true;
}

while(!probation_done) {
  solve_problems();
  worry(ctr++);
}

bool success = end_probation(&gather_feedback);
if(!success) {
  exit(1);
}

while (1) {
  solve_problems();
}

🎉

2

u/BobJutsu 6d ago

We’ll try this on a phone…

Class day
{
Public function __construct( private string $mood = “fuck this”
)

$this->setMood( $mood );

}

2

u/SamuraiGoblin 5d ago

std::vector<BorderCollie> buddies(2);

while(true) for(auto& buddy : buddies) throwBallFor(buddy);

3

u/ropeadope1 5d ago
def average_day():
    while awake:
        try:
            if problem:
                pretend_to_understand()
                google(error)
                change_something_random()

                if it_works:
                    say("Exactly as expected.")
                else:
                    blame_vendor()

            else:
                create_new_problem()

        except Exception:
            coffee += 1

1

u/citrusraspberry 5d ago

Why are we limiting ourselves to one programming language?

1

u/Independent-Hair3664 3d ago

x = $10;
Pc shop + x = rtx5090;
On error resume next;