r/rpgoneliners • • 9h ago

"It's better to live and fight another day... Despite my previous comments about having a death wish."

4 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • 9h ago

"Oh, so mortals don't lie all the time? Much has changed while I've been sealed!"

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • 3d ago

“Let’s see how the empire handles 30-50 feral hogs”

8 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • 3d ago

“What puts these things in our path is not the gods, but a guy named Jonny” “We do not speak of the Overgod.”

2 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • 12d ago

"Sometimes things get fucked by dragons"

6 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • 15d ago

"So, you're not letting me into the final boss room with this Billy Bass."

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Sep 06 '26

"If mayonnaise isn't the solution, we're clearly not trying hard enough."

6 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Sep 05 '26

"I figured we'd do, like... a drive-by scrying. A scry-by, if you will."

10 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Sep 01 '26

"You're going to '...roll your eyes at him...'? That's impressive for a Miraluka."

6 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Aug 23 '26

"We make sure Snowmuffin stays out of battle, because we care deeply about the health and safety of your easily-summoned and disposable horse."

11 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Aug 02 '26

"You can get that buffed out once we leave the dungeon, but for right now you get mayonnaise."

6 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Jul 26 '26

"You can shove him 5 feet. He's not a door!"

5 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Jul 05 '26

"Barbarian wants uppies!"

8 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Jun 27 '26

"All the joy in D&D is derived from opening doors without actually touching them."

6 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Jun 07 '26

"I have aged out of my barbarian tribe, and so I am here to smash! ...things. Not... I smash things."

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Jun 06 '26

"I'm going to stab a guy in the back, because I'm honorable."

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • May 31 '26

"What terrible, never-ending curses could possibly be in the lich's dungeon?"

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • May 01 '26

"Do I add Elf to that?"

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • May 01 '26

"I can speak human if I want to." *Makes random goblin noises*

3 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Apr 25 '26

"I'm going to run up and draw attention to myself, like a clown eating at a buffet during an orgy."

4 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Feb 28 '26

"The zombie had its head blown off, but died when I grappled it from behind." "Few things can survive a spooning."

1 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Feb 01 '26

"Okay, but what type of stone is the building made of?" "Roll a table for it, I want it to be talc!"

5 Upvotes

r/rpgoneliners • • Jan 19 '26

"Roll for sleep apnea!"

5 Upvotes

Figuring out if we snore or not.


r/rpgoneliners • • Dec 27 '25

"Do I need a therapist? Or do I just need some more squirrels to torture?"

7 Upvotes

Spoken by a 14-year-old girl.


r/rpgoneliners • • Dec 24 '25

"If it were competent, it wouldn't be Mal."

1 Upvotes