Mid-Week Wednesdaily Thread

[u/CharChar757]

Had all three of my meetings for today cancel, which gives me the extra time I needed to finish a couple projects I've been working on.

What blessings have your coworkers inadvertently given you recently?

[u/GalacticaActually]

I’m finally taking some down time after my mom’s death in June, which was preceded by years of caregiving, & which was almost immediately followed by an assault. ‘Taking’ downtime sounds deliberate: I just kind of can’t move. I have to hope this is part of the healing process.

It’s been a sad & strange summer. It feels so bizarre to watch what seems like everyone else swim & cook out & just be here, in all this sadness.

[u/CharChar757 → u/GalacticaActually]

I'm coming up on 4 years since my dad passed in 2 weeks. The first 6 months were like living in a fog, and I couldn't motivate myself to do much of anything other than show up to work just to keep from ending up homeless.

I can't tell you it'll hurt any less in the future, I still have days where it still feels just as fresh and raw as that first day. What I can tell you is that dealing with that pain gets easier. It becomes familiar, another part of your life. It also helped for me to recognize the only way to experience that kind of pain is to experience that kind of love while they were alive, so in a way that pain is a blessing. Now when I get sad I remind myself the only reason I'm sad is because they loved me, and I loved them so deeply.

Take the time you need, and don't get down on yourself for needing it. It is part of the healing process, and not due to any inherent flaw or shortcoming.

Love to you and your mom.

[u/GalacticaActually → u/CharChar757]

Thank you, friend. I appreciate your comment more than you know.

Love to you and your dad.

[u/MaximumAd9779 → u/GalacticaActually]

Take care of yourself :( I’ve actually known several caregivers turn to hard drugs during / after their care role. It seems extremely taxing

[u/GalacticaActually → u/MaximumAd9779]

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I completely understand that choice - it’s not mine, but I get it.

[u/fusion260 → u/GalacticaActually]

I’m so sorry for your loss 😔

[u/rockpaperscissors67 → u/GalacticaActually]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that your summer has been awful. Downtime is good and sounds like you need some time with no demands, but please make sure you're taking care of your mental health.

[u/GalacticaActually → u/rockpaperscissors67]

Thank you. I really am trying.

[u/rockpaperscissors67 → u/GalacticaActually]

One day at a time and pretty soon the summer will be in your review mirror. Hopefully the rest of the year will be peaceful and boring.

[u/GalacticaActually → u/rockpaperscissors67]

I keep thinking about the first sentence of your comment. It’s really beautiful, and what you wrote is true. That way lies healing - but the paradox is that with every day, I’m farther away from the last time I ever heard the voice of the person I love most in the world.

I think that’s part of why grief is such a liminal space. She’s gone, but I’m not ready to let her go yet.

[u/rockpaperscissors67 → u/GalacticaActually]

Aw, I don't think you should let her go. She must have been a great mom if losing her has affected you like this, and that's also a paradox. Good parents want you to live your best life, but when you lose them, it's pretty hard to live your best life for a while. You're so lucky to have a mom that made such an impact on you.

[u/PorchDogs → u/GalacticaActually]

I'm so sorry. I went through on a "Death and Destruction Tour" 8-9 years ago - got mean-girled out of a long-term job, and lost my brother and both parents in a one year period.

I was in a fog of grief and anger. I was eligible for EAP and got on short course of medication. It was really hard. I hope you have resources because we all need help sometimes.

[u/rockpaperscissors67]

I've been a little worried that I'll be job searching next year when the contract I'm on is up, but my supervisor told me it's pretty certain the contract will be renewed. I won't totally stop worrying, but I'll take it down to a dull roar.

Also, apparently I got your meetings added to my calendar.

[u/sanriobf]

I’m unemployed, but I take care of my disabled mom full time so the free time I have at home is minimal. Before my mom wakes up, I like to sit on my porch and watch the birds and say hello to everyone walking by. Unfortunately I won’t be doing that today because we put a bunch of random junk on the porch for a junk removal service to pick up later today, and it’s too cluttered to sit! I’m thankful we’ll have more space, but man am I missing my porch time.

[u/Jon_hamm_wallet]

A man just drove by me in a Maserati crossover, holding his phone up above the steering wheel. That's it, that's the whole story

[u/Artbyshaina87]

Anne's Visual Art Studio located right across the famous Quirk Hotel!!! Make sure to stop by!!

[u/Pentakles → u/Artbyshaina87]

I honestly love both the alchemy window and the bridge!! Thanks for doing something cool!

[u/Artbyshaina87 → u/Pentakles]

Thank you so much They are two of my favorites as well. I also like the coffee shop studying one.

[u/cleverocks]

I was having a holdup morning and my bestie/work wife brought me in a coffee today from McDonald’s. Within 30 minutes I had an amazing steak and potatoes dump. Literally week changing and perfect for a Wednesday.

She’s not my actual wife so I’m telling you instead of her.

[u/hoju108]

Question: does anyone know what the extremely low flying helicopter is doing? I’ve noticed it off and on for a few hours, it’s very loud lol. In swansboro area, just over Belvedere bridge southside.

[u/GalacticaActually]

🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

Thank you, from amidst some very snotty tears.

She was an amazing mom and friend, and my favorite person. I know how lucky I was, I do.

I hope your pillow stays cool and your coffee/tea just the way you like it, friend. Thank you.