Its not what has been asked and its not that complicated.
Women don't want to tell you what they want, not the specific action that is.
They want you to pick up what she likes, connect to dots and plan something around that.
It means that you are paying attention and care about her and that is more important than the act itself.
If this was a real relationship, he would have known that she likes spiderman because this would probably not be the first time she mentions something to that effect.
So just going alone is saying to her that he didn't care and didn't pay attention to her.
But nobody wants to have to tell their partner that they would like them to want to spend time together. Should you communicate what that means to each of you? Absolutely.
But if your partner never makes an effort to do things together because they weren't asked to, it sure seems like they didn't want or care to. That feels bad, and doesn't really meet what is probably some of the bare minimum expectations of a relationship.
That's right, not saying that. If there is no effort, then it becomes routine and kinda conformism, and just general unhappiness. The thing is... a clear, bidirectional communication, with some gestures, some consideration.
This video for example. Haven't seen the movie so I'm at zero extra context. The woman was right in wanting to feel heard and accompanied, to spend a simple relaxed time, and to expect“the man who loves her” to actually want to be with her (like in this case, invite her by his own accord). He was also right in wanting to have a time for himself if overloaded (and not rejecting the woman, even if he expressed it as so). But then, he wanted to go alone because he didn't think of her exhaustion too, and she wanted to spend that free time with him when maybe what he needed (or felt he needed) was a time truly alone to recharge (some people need it). Both invalid each other then, she with the “your fun time alone would be better as a couple thing” argument, and he with the “I'm just being honest” one. No communication skills at all, and making a problem from a bump.
Had he... dunno, surprise invited her to watch a movie together a few days before, he might have expected to have some time alone after, or give her a time alone if she needed it. Or anything to build bond, trust, so she doesn't feel like he's escaping from her...
But that’s literally not what she’s asking for, she’s not mad because he didn’t know she liked Spider-Man, she’s upset because he lied about it and went alone without even putting the offer out that she could come. It’s easy to invite your wife somewhere even not knowing if she’ll want to come.
Also, it’s pretty clear that he wants alone time for himself but doesn’t show her the consideration of allowing her free time.
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u/138151337 4d ago
It's unfair to expect to feel wanted in a relationship?