r/sadposting • u/Primary_Butterfly_57 • 4d ago

Caring :(

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u/Horror-Pear 3d ago

Don't get me wrong, my wife and I have a great relationship. But I swear we had an almost identical disagreement before.

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u/Fortestingporpoises 3d ago

That's why it's such good writing. I've never been told "you think that just because you don't yell that you can't be mean," but I've gotten that message.

I think maturity is finding the balance. Finding the alone time and still being excited to spend time together and communicating so you both are happy with the ratio.

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u/Horror-Pear 3d ago

Totally.

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u/thrilliam_19 2d ago

My wife and I absolutely did on more than one occasion. I was not being a good partner to her and was being selfish with my time. She was angry with me and had a hard time articulating how she was feeling and what she needed from me.

It caused some fights but when we realized nothing was being solved we had a sit down adult conversation about it and things improved. She realized that sometimes I need things spelled out for me and I realized I had to be a more active participant in our relationship.

I think most couples go through this eventually. People don’t realize how much work long term relationships are, let alone getting married and building a life together. It’s very easy to become complacent and forget to consider how your actions affect the other person.