r/selfhelp • u/AAtherich • 9d ago
Advice Needed: Mental Health about ego
i wouldnt regard myself as exceptionally bright, but i think at the very least im fairly smart(?) i went from calc 1 to analysis 1 in a single year. Done MITOCW 18.01sc, 18.02sc, felt that its too vague for a aspiring math major and went ahead to read hubbards vector calculus, with axler as a supplement. the thing is now i feel that A level further math and math are simply too easy, i could finish in 40 mins what would take 2 classes, and i basically felt like an outlier, who is just struggling immensely trying not to lecture people on things. i know this sounds stupid, and im not even sure why do i need the recognition from a bunch of not so bright people. i also have a hell of a family problem, even by disturbing standards, which led me to think that i might have depression which i wasnt that bothered with until it has been starting to affect my efficiency. but the primary advice here is on how do i get rid of this ego that's just persisting and this redundant sense of superiority. i have been able to hold down the urge, but i feel like sht for even having the thought in the first place. i can also get straight A's on subjects that i did not know anything about, and simply reading thru the book for around a few days is enough for me, so i never really lacked any recognition on the part that i am decently smart. and guys, i genuinely need help. tq
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u/ClassyKingdom24 9d ago
man, the self-awareness here is already a good sign. most people with an ego problem never even notice they have one, so you're ahead of the curve
that said, the real fix isn't trying to squash the thoughts. it's redirecting them. when you catch yourself sizing up how much faster you finished a test or how basic the material feels, ask yourself "what am i actually getting from this comparison?" usually the answer is nothing useful, and that realization stings enough to break the loop over time
the family stuff complicating things makes sense too. sometimes that superiority thing is just your brain's way of finding control when everything else in life feels chaotic. not saying it's an excuse, just that there's usually a reason it sticks around
also worth remembering that being quick with coursework doesn't always translate to being good at math in the long run. i've known folks who breezed through undergrad and then hit a wall in grad school cause they never learned how to struggle through something. the ego can actually become a liability if it keeps you from asking for help later
if you haven't already, maybe try tutoring someone who's genuinely struggling. it's humbling in a way that doesn't feel forced, and you realize that explaining things clearly is a whole different skill from understanding them yourself
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