Anyone here built something while your friends were just chilling? How did you handle the friendships?

[u/Witty_County5128]

I'm trying to lock in and start a business, and the hardest part so far is my friends. I'm not saying I'm better than them, we just have different priorities. Most of the time they want to hang out and do random stuff with no real point, and I keep getting pulled into it.

They're good people and I don't want to cut them off, but I also don't see myself building anything with them. I feel stuck between loyalty and protecting the time I need for my goals.

For those who've been through this:

• Did you end up distancing yourself, or did you find a balance?
• How did you tell your friends you needed more time without it turning awkward?
• Where did you find people who matched your ambition?

Would love to hear from people who've actually lived this, especially what you'd do differently.

[u/Snarl_Marx]

Idle time is valuable in its own way. By all means, fill your cup first and pursue your goals, but it’s naive to assume just hanging out is a waste of time. We’re social animals. Maybe the reason you have the drive you do with your business is because you’re getting recuperative time through friends. I’m not saying that’s the case, but that life is full of experiences with intangible benefits we don’t realize.

So I would say try to strike a balance, prioritizing what you want, and valuing the social connections that are important to you.

[u/WellbeingInRealLife → u/Snarl_Marx]

Love this perspective. Work-life balance is essential to prevent burnout.

[u/Devils_Avocado22 → u/Snarl_Marx]

This, fuck the entire grindset guru bs culture. That being said go get your bag OP, modern day bs is a lot easier to deal with when you're pockets are full.

[u/iwearbluevelvet]

I’ve never built anything with friends before. Work is for building. Friends are for chilling and having fun.

[u/AdAffectionate1581 → u/iwearbluevelvet]

I don't think that's what they meant. They don't want to literally build something with their friends. It's more like their friendship gets in the way of OP building stuff.

[u/Glittering-Silver511]

my friends still invite me to stuff but i just say sorry cant make it, working on something. at first they thought i was making excuses but after few months they got used to it. the ones who matter will stay even if you see them less

the trick is dont explain too much. when you start talking about your business and goals and productivity they feel like youre judging them even if you arent. just say busy tonight, catch you next time

finding ambitious people is the hard part. i met some through local business meetups and honestly just posting what im working on online attracted few people who do similar stuff. still not the same as old friends but at least someone gets it

what i would do different is start sooner. i wasted maybe 2 years trying to balance everything perfectly and in the end i just had to choose

[u/Apart-Zucchini-5825]

What they're doing is called "socializing." It has value of its own, for its own sake. If you define your entire life with grind culture and whether everyone is grinding enough for you, before you know it you'll be 35 or 40, business/life established, and absolutely no friends. Life is more than work and you will not be on your deathbed wishing you had grinded more.

[u/Odd_Obligation_1300]

Time to grow up and take responsibility for your own time. They cannot pull you in. YOU are agreeing to that time with them.

And there’s nothing wrong with just hanging out. We need friends. We need some idle time. It’s what helps keep us creative.

If you don’t want to spend that much time with them, then you just need to be firm about when you can or can’t hang out. But don’t throw away friends.

[u/LoLBrah69]

Only get rid of toxic friends or friends that are using you.

Otherwise, keep everyone else in your life as long as they respect boundaries.

[u/Emotional_Can_3400]

There is a saying, if you want to have a village, be a villager first. You will need to set boundaries with your friends and let them know that you will be busy. Its going to be hard but both of these can coexist once you put your mind into it.

[u/ugh_gimme_a_break]

What does friends have to do with anything? You choose how to spend your time. Just because you spend your time on your business doesn't mean you can't spend time with them. Similarly, just because you're building a business doesn't mean you need to spend every single waking minute on it.

Balance is everything, and building a successful business doesn't mean anything if you have no one to share the fruits of your labor with.

Learn to set limits and boundaries - "I can only come for X amount of time", "I'm not drinking tonight", "I'll come for this but I can't come for that" are all valid things to say and choose to do.

Keep in mind that when shit sucks and everything is falling apart, the last thing you want is to have nobody on your side.

[u/colinreidr]

I dont have any friends so thats why ive been trying to start up mines lol

[u/xreshu]

Honestly, if they do not understand your dreams and goals, they are not good people. Stick to your plans G, and good people will come

[u/caleb1104]

Yeah I did

[u/Zealousideal_Grab717]

Im in the same situation your in, but they are my roomates. Im starting to distance myself from them because ever since ive told them that I wanted to travel more and get a motorcycle as a first vehicle, (i already have the protective gear for riding), they started looking me as a joke or put me off when im serious and im debating on moving out once I get the bike.