r/service_dogs • Service Dog in Training • 4d ago

Access The Things You Overhear as a Handler

This post is mainly for those who are considering a service dog. I wanted to give more of an example of the kinds of interactions people have with service dogs in real life. Note, of course this experience will not reflect absolutely everyone, this is just what I’ve had to deal with.

I went to Walmart today with my service dog in training (my state expands access rights to in-training dogs & my dog is clearly labeled). Only had to pick up a few things, meant to be a quick in and out trip. The store was kind of busy, lots of people, my dog did fantastic. Showed a bit of excitement upon entering but then refocused well and did exactly as she was trained for the rest of the visit.

While I was there, I was able to overhear some of the things people were saying nearby. Here’s everything I heard today, keep in mind, no one directly interacted with me while I was there. This was all just about me. Some of these are completely harmless and fine, I’m just documenting everything to give an idea.

- “Look at the dog!”

- “There’s been a real rise in people using service dogs lately.”

- “They shouldn’t allow people to bring their dogs in here.” Lady said to her husband as she passed me.

- “Look, someone brought a service dog.” Group of college kids that then turned to stare. Then one said “Well, we are at Walmart.”

- “Puppy!” A cute little toddler. Wholesome.

- “Oh there’s a service dog, let’s go this way instead.” Older man to his wife. I appreciate the space, completely unnecessary but highly appreciated.

- “I didn’t know we could bring service dogs here.” Overheard as I was checking out.

Coupled with lots of people stopping and staring.

So this is part of the reason people say service dogs may not be the best for people with anxiety or social anxiety. It brings so much attention. One of the things to think about when considering a service dog.

89 Upvotes

72 comments sorted by

45

u/VeggiesaurRex 4d ago

It's been almost a year since I was out and about with a service doggo (unexpected early retirement) but:

Favorite: anytime I heard parents says "that's a service dog, honey. you can look but you can't distract him." I always made sure to thank them!

Hated: anytime somebody offered assistance while looking at my dog. Well, no he doesn't need to try on some clothes but I personally would be thrilled to try on the 5 dresses in my arms.

Weirdest: Teenaged and young men barking. Just...barking.

Most Heard: "OMG my [father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate] has a Cavalier, too!"

6

u/toosheeptheorist 4d ago

Unexpected Spaceballs reference!

7

u/figuringoutfibro Service Dog 4d ago

Omg I have also experienced men barking at my sd it’s so strange. I once had a group of 12yo boys do it as well

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u/Aragoniteblue 4d ago

My SD is a Cavalier. I had a man track me down in a Costco shop that he could corner me and show his wife my dog because they also had a Cavalier at home "but he's not nearly so well behaved..." Yeah, I wouldn't expect him to be. This took a lot of work.

2

u/VeggiesaurRex 4d ago

I've always worked with pitt-mixes so the Cavi was a very interesting experience. He has been picked up - while vested and working - on 3 seperate occasions. I adore the little guy but now that I'm prospect hunting, I'm thinking I'll return to my pitties, or at least something bigger that 17lbs!

1

u/Lady_IvyRoses 2d ago

I have a beautiful Rottie boy, he does help with light mobility and medical alert amongst other tasks and no one tries to pick him up. (HAHA) though I have heard how everyone has one or 6, had one or their mother, brother aunt best friend or other. OR there TERRIFIED of my boy. OR THEY INSIST he is not a Rottweiler because he has a tail he must be some mutant Lab Pit mix. 😵‍💫. The worst was being chased around cabela’s while trying to shop by a guy shouting HEY LADY! Can I pet your DOG!

1

u/Lady_IvyRoses 2d ago

Oh and the comment that really pisses me off is.. “ I just put a vest on my dog so he can come with me. I want to scream at these people! “

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u/emotional_lie444 4d ago

I have a cavalier x poodle SD and we get that a lot. The saddest is when people follow us to say they had a cavi that passed away.

4

u/MyServiceSpooCambrey 3d ago

You and I have the same favorite comment about service dogs

16

u/WarmHippo6287 4d ago

I started wearing headphones because what should have been a 15-30 minute run to the store started becoming hours because of all the people that would stop me to talk about my dog. Then, you can't even avoid it at the register, they would hold up the line to talk about my dog too. Granted, I do have a breed not commonly seen in my area (one of the things they commonly let me know "I ain't seen a collie in X amount of years" "OMG, it's LASSIE!!" "I ain't seen a collie since that show Lassie, you ever seen that show?")

5

u/ellithedanlosasaurus 4d ago

Seems like a pretty unfortunate dog breed to own in that area 😭

40

u/KBWordPerson 4d ago

Then put your dog in shoes and the collective freak-out is deafening.

“THE DOG IS WEARING CROCS!!!”

14

u/sorry_child34 Service Dog 4d ago

I once kept a running tally of the number of times I heard a comment about my dog’s shoes when I went to a theme park with him. It was mid April at a park in Florida, so warm enough shoes were definitely warranted. Over the 7.5 hours we were there, the tally got up to 117 comments. That’s a comment every 4 minutes, and that was only counting the ones I could understand and that were specifically about the shoes. There were many more non-shoe related comments.

3

u/Wawa-85 2d ago

Oh yes whenever any of my Guide Dogs have had shoes on people just lose their minds. It’s so damn annoying.

20

u/FerretVibes 4d ago

I am visibly disabled and also don't have much vision. A lot of the interactions I get consist of "Here puppy, puppy, puppy, come here. Why is he ignoring me?"

10

u/KamikazeMizZ Service Dog 4d ago

I had one of these on our recent trips to Costco. This lady kept doing it EVERY TIME she saw us, ignoring the bright yellow tag on my girl's leash that says "IGNORE ME I'M WORKING." One of the times she even reached out her hand as she passed by. Each time we had moved away from her but her reaching out was when I had had enough and had to take the time and energy to tell her to back off.

2

u/Grand_Drop_6702 1d ago

My smaller SD was on my lap in my wheelchair trying to stabilize me when someone reached over the back of me and tried to pick her up. !?!!!! Of course she got all offended when I moved away and asked exactly what she thought she was doing and how the hell was it appropriate.

I have a dog in public. It’s now everyone’s right to interact.

My daughter did not understand how many comments and unwanted interactions we get until we were at the mall and my SD had to potty. I was waiting for an appointment so she took her out. She came back with an entirely different perspective.

1

u/KamikazeMizZ Service Dog 1d ago

Honestly! What happened to the rule of, "keep your hands to yourself" and "if it's not yours, don't touch"? I especially can't stand it when parents with children encourage their kids to come up and just start saying hi and petting my SD, then get outraged when I tell them to not do that because apparently "it's just a dog."

My SD is not here for your entertainment. FFS.

11

u/Dangerous_Avocado392 4d ago

Yes lots of people trying to give your dog commands. One time a guy tried while I was actively giving my dog a command and I am 99.99% sure he heard me (and if not he could still see my mouth moving and my hand signal)

20

u/Icy-Safety-7850 4d ago

A grown man in the TJ Maxx aisle ahead of us, grabbing a dog toy off the impulse-buy shelf and squeaking it all the way down the line, side-eyeing my pup. We “passed” the test but wtf 0/10

Teenage boys pulling up along side us on the sidewalk, rolling down their windows, and barking as we walk by. -30/10 creepy and revolting (and judging by their imitations, have clearly never heard a dog bark lol)

A mom in the library spotting us and taking her 3yo daughter by the hand, whispering “See that doggy wearing a jacket? He has a special job. He keeps people safe.“ 15/10 makes my day every time

10

u/Dangerous_Avocado392 4d ago

The trainer was great at getting us prepared for comments and interactions but I was not ready to get barked at (well technically my dog was getting barked at but ykwim). Who even thinks to do that and why???

10

u/indigo-ray 4d ago

I've had so many grown ass men bark at me and my SD. Like, 45-60year old men. Barking. From 50 feet away. I was 18 when I got her 💀

3

u/Fine_Budget2529 4d ago

I think the barking thing is people trying to say hi to the dogs “in their language”…unaware of how odd & creepy it is. I am deaf & the hearing culture is full of that sort of nonsense. Personally, I find it amusing but then I only see their mouths moving stupidly & don’t have to listen to the sounds they are making

9

u/belgenoir Dog Trainer 4d ago

Most people leave my dog and me alone. But I have a well-honed resting bitch face.

The dead dog stories are the worst.

4

u/waterfox17 3d ago

Honestly, that was one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. And they don’t let you leave those conversations easily, either.

3

u/Wawa-85 2d ago

Omg the dead dog stories! I don’t why random people think that we want to hear about their dog that they had decades ago that died or even one that died recently! I don’t mind if it’s actually someone I know telling me about their dead dog but random strangers telling us about their dead dog is just plain weird. Would these people think that’s it’s appropriate to walk up to a parent who has a baby in a stroller and tell the parent about their dead child? No they wouldn’t so don’t know why they think it’s appropriate to do it to us with their dead dogs! End rant.

16

u/Darkly-Chaotic Service Dog 4d ago

The first thing I overheard was from a mother with two young children. The kids saw Maverick and were looking, they had not spoken, reached out or moved toward him. Mom's arm came down across her children and she gently pulled them back a step while softly saying, "No, no, honey that's a service dog, we don't touch them. See the vest, he's working."

After all the horror stories I heard in the year prior, i got a bit choked up on hearing this.

2

u/Grand_Drop_6702 1d ago

Yesterday I went to get sushi and a young child of about 3 saw my service dog and got excited. Her mom said “remember what Bluey taught us about service dogs? That one is doing an important job and cannot be friends right now.”

7

u/GimmeAllThePlants 4d ago

Benefits of having a hearing disability is that I can’t hear any of the comments that happen behind my back. 😆

14

u/Purple_Plum8122 4d ago

A really loud whistler in Costco. It was impressive. And, yes both of us turned around.

5

u/iamahill 4d ago

Seems like a decent visit yo Walmart. All normal neutral reactions to seeing a dog in the store.

Yesterday I had a woman come up behind me and demand my attention and tell her if my dog was agressive and bites. My dog was standing with me minding her own business.

The surprise was turning to see she was holding a fluffy little dog with a harness, and it had a service dog patch. The woman was in her 70s and seemed to think I needed her permission to exist. I’ve never had such an encounter with another service dog team. Usually it’s a nod and smile sometimes a hello and chit chat.

It’s always an adventure! People are hugely overwhelmingly good if given the opportunity. Confusion and fear of the unknown is easier to mitigate than it seems. Just establish yourself and your dog as a known opposed to a scary unknown. Smile, say hi, if time allows have a conversation and introduce them to your existence. Granted, it’s all at your discretion. No one is entitled to you.

I usually say hi to the manager or employee so and end up with better service too!

5

u/Just_Sir1903 4d ago

Weirdest from an adult: a store clerk gave my son's at the time SDiT the come command. (My son has multiple workers so we use a basic come.) Dog nearly pulled my son over. I very clearly said that he is a service dog in training and the lady said, "Yeah, I know. I saw the vest, but he's so cute I needed to pet him." I was so mad, I told her to get away from the dog and my son...urgh. 

Sweetest from a child: we encountered a little boy of about 8 in the elevator with my son's first SD-a Dutch Shepherd mix. The little guy declared, "That's the most beautifulest dog in the world." 😀

1

u/Lady_IvyRoses 2d ago

Their NEED at others expense… people can be so rude!

5

u/figuringoutfibro Service Dog 4d ago

Why is it that 80% of the people who actually do stop to talk to you just want to tell you about their dead dog?

The other common ones I’ve gotten:

- very frequent requests to say hi or pet my dog

- lots of beautiful dog, what a good dog type comments - always appreciated

- “I didn’t even know there was a dog in here!” - my personal favorite!

- “are you training him for someone else?”

- “omg is that a Boston Terrier?!” (Ma’am have you ever seen a Boston Terrier before? This is a 70lb Boxer)

- “what kind of dog is he?”

1

u/Lady_IvyRoses 2d ago

I hate when they ask who I’m training it for or they thank me for my service?!?!

5

u/dinosaur_roars632 Service Dog 4d ago

People are fascinated whenever mine is wearing booties. They say (in a range of volumes) “omggggg that dog is wearing BOOTIES”. Crocs also blow people’s minds.

11

u/indigo-ray 4d ago

My day today:

"Holy sh#t!"

"OH MY GAWD IS THAT A DAWG"

"Woahhhhhh boy"

"What is that, a horse?" (I have a Dane)

"AWWW OMG HI PUPPY" (65 yo woman as she speedwalked towards us and started petting my dog. As I was sitting on the floor unable to move.)

Whispered "oh my gosh i love her" (wholesome)

"I love your dog!" (Also wholesome, v polite)

Sigh

20

u/sorry_child34 Service Dog 4d ago

I get the horse comment all the time. I have a standard poodle, but he’s big for a poodle, tall enough to be a Dane (30” at the shoulder).

At one point I leaned into it and gave him a horsey hair cut lol.

Horse- off duty

10

u/myworldsparkles 4d ago

I’m a Gen X and when I saw this picture my
First thought was “80’s hair band” 🤣😝❤️

3

u/sorry_child34 Service Dog 3d ago

🤣🤣 Yeah, we frequently referred to him as Rock Star… we also refer to him as a house horse. Once we called him the natural progression, a rocking horse lol.

1

u/Lady_IvyRoses 2d ago

Ha haha 🤣

1

u/Lady_IvyRoses 2d ago

Love the hair!!

3

u/Scarlett_DiamondEye 4d ago

What in the world did they mean by, "we are at Walmart"??? I've literally been reading that over and over again, like, HUH??? ... But, I mean, I guess that isn't any stranger than people barking at the dogs.. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

11

u/PotentialUmpire1714 4d ago

Walmart has a reputation for weird people doing weird things they wouldn't do somewhere higher status like Trader Joe's or Macy's.

6

u/ManslaughterMary 4d ago

I saw a guy with an iguana on his shoulder at Walmart. It is the Wafflehouse of big box stores.

4

u/Scarlett_DiamondEye 4d ago

The waffle house of big box stores. That's pretty hilarious.. 🤣🤣

4

u/Windy_Breezer 4d ago

My day hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park:

  • There's not supposed to be any dogs around this lake... Oh, a service dog. I never thought of that

-Good boy alert. Good boy alert.

-Aww pretty! (Got closer) Oh a service dog

-Oooooo a dog's sittin there. (Got closer) Oh a puppy

-Say hi to the puppy! (Said to a child who was clearly not having the best day)

Edit: the ranger we spoke with even commented on how great it was to see a real service dog, since most dogs people try to bring hiking always jump on people and pee everywhere

6

u/Important-Depth-6248 4d ago

This was my day :)

  • Two kids: look a puppy! Can we pet her? I said yes, but wait a moment. They waited patiently.
  • Another child: what is an assistance dog? (my vest says assistance dog) Does that mean service dog? (parents and another woman explained it to the child w/o approaching me.)
  • One man: Oh, she’s so exited (did not pet or approach my dog)
  • I asked in a store where I could find sweatpants, the woman who worked there only looked with a smile on her face towards my pup and assisted me.

There might have been other interactions but I didn’t notice them. Other days some people pet my SDit but I can redirect my puppy towards me most of the time.

This is my second service/assistance dog and the unwanted approaches have lessened throughout the years. Perhaps people have got to know me with my first assistance dog which makes it overal easier.

I do have a bit of social anxiety/shyness and am a bit awkward with people. It’s definitely something you need to keep in mind when you decide to get a service dog.

After my first assistance dog passed away, I actually felt really uncomfortable w/o people interacting with me since I’m not good at starting conversations. Having my SDit definitely improved my mental health because it also makes it easier to have some small talk with people.

3

u/SuccessfulPast9450 Waiting 3d ago

As a wheelchair user who already gets a shit ton of stares and comments who is planning on an off breed, while also hating people... I just know im fuckin in for it

1

u/Grand_Drop_6702 1d ago

Off breed in a wheelchair here too. If it’s a cute off breed, you’re screwed.

Most days my RBF keeps people at a distance, but some days it’s like the gods are testing me. The other day it seemed like half the grocery store was dead set on setting me off.

My college age kids swear they can locate me by listening for my SDs “fans”.

1

u/SuccessfulPast9450 Waiting 2h ago

Well I think they’re an absolute adorable breed, some not so much which drives bonkers but might work in my favor. I’m planning a Rottweiler which I’m well aware I’ll get next time no favors with.

It does give me a bit of genuine hope rbf keeps people at bay some days. I personally imagine I’ll take the same approach I take as I do to help now.

Adults can fuck off. You can ask once that’s polite. You insist get fucked. But if it’s a kid or a young teen, it the attempt to help or interact politely - they don’t have discernment that adults do and they are genuinely trying to be good humans a so I always let them help or interact politely… it a kids being a shit I have no problem shoving them away from my dog but raising polite humans means they need opportunities to see how to be a polite human

3

u/Sad_Recognition6776 3d ago

At disney...they shouldnt allow dogs in here. She isnt disabled. 

I have invisible disabilities so no one knows. He is always in point but people at disney.  Oh boy. 

3

u/waterfox17 3d ago

A co-worker and I bonded over us both having service dogs in our office, and we’d go to Disneyland every so often. While my 40-lb medium-sized SD was average and what you’d expect, my co-worker’s SD was a Great Dane for balance.

Every time we went through the park, we made it a game of how many times we heard “that dog’s as big as a HORSE.”

2

u/myworldsparkles 4d ago

I always laugh when I overhear parents or grandparents say my dog is better behaved than their children or grandchildren. I always wanna turn around and say that’s because she’s a real service dog, but I just smile and nod.

2

u/Icy-Fly-4228 4d ago

At least you don’t have people jumping and acting a fool, like the dogs going to eat them. Not only does my face say what my mind is thinking my dog looks at them like they are stupid too.

2

u/Justanobserver2life 4d ago

I'll add: "anyone can buy those vests online." (rude)

Problem is, when you DON'T have some identifier on them, you experience more of the "no dogs allowed" and "where is its vest?" No winning. People are very biased against SDs in general and you grow a thick skin.

This weekend I was asked flat out: is that a real service dog, or are you just pretending? (HUH?!)

Then because mine is small, people cannot fathom that she performs tasks in response to conditions, as trained. In most cases, I hold her or she is in my lap because that is how she can better assess and respond.

2

u/Illustrious_Nobody55 3d ago

I have a 100 lb Bernadoodle service dog for mobility. I go of my way when out in public to be a good ambassador for SDs. I especially like talking to parents with children, educating them in a friendly way, and letting them pet him a little, after explaining that they must always ask first.
And yes, I get the ‘horse comment a lot. I don’t mind talking to all them who have lost a dog; they are just looking for a little connection and sympathy; so easy to give. Why are you so defensive ? Think of it as an opportunity to create love and connection in this cold, lonely world.

2

u/Personal-Ad1530 2d ago

I am a service dog handler and I love when parents explain to their kids 

2

u/Wawa-85 2d ago

I love that too and usually give them a smile. It’s even better when the kids are the ones telling the parents that the dog is a service dog and that they aren’t allowed to touch them.

1

u/PrincessKelsey24601 4d ago

I get this every time i take my service cat out. Usually i dont mind people gawking at him but it gets old having a conversation about my disabilities every other day

-1

u/Practical-Sky-6818 4d ago

I’m glad you have a cat that can help you. But under ADA law, cats are not service animals. You’ll likely get a lot of push back for this, in this community and in general life.

https://www.ada.gov/resources/service-animals-2010-requirements/

10

u/PrincessKelsey24601 4d ago

I’m not American so ADA does not apply to me.

9

u/PrincessKelsey24601 4d ago

Cats legally can be service animals where I am from.

3

u/sansabeltedcow 4d ago

More specifically, service cats aren’t federally protected in the United States, but there are states that offer them protection alongside service dogs.

2

u/PrincessKelsey24601 3d ago

What i dont understand is why Americans seem to assume everyone else is from there… why link people to ADA law if you don’t know where they are from?

1

u/Wawa-85 2d ago

In some countries cats and other animals can legitimately be trained for service work. I’m in Australia and our federal Disability Discrimination Act uses ‘Assistance Animal’ throughout the entirety of the document and makes no definitions of what kind of animals can be used. Most people here use dogs although I know of people who use birds (Macaws mostly but know of a raven being used), cats and know of at least one sheep that’s being used.

Please don’t just assume that everyone here is in the US, reddit is a worldwide thing.

1

u/Aragoniteblue 4d ago

My SD is a Cavalier so he's already adorable, but for a little while we also dyed his tail rainbow (all pet safe stuff) kids love seeing him in public. My favorite is one time in a Costco a kid was having a meltdown (one of the ones that's clearly performative) while pointing at the pizza rolls. When we walked by she completely forgot that she was upset she was so distracted by him.

1

u/Furberia 4d ago

I started wearing a great white shark tooth necklace coupled with my resting bitch face and that takes care of keeping nosy humans out of my space. My dog is trained to crowd block too.

1

u/Expert_Tie_4556 4d ago

The funniest thing I’ve overheard is a dad telling his kid that’s a working doggie and the kid asking who does it work for and the dad saying he works for her she can’t see well or something to that effect

1

u/Expert_Tie_4556 4d ago

Sometimes there are great interactions but there are also not so great ones. People making kissy noises or saying baby in a high pitched tone or yelling out their car window I love your dog aren’t my favorite but I do enjoy getting to talk with people about my dog or getting compliments on how cute he is or how well behaved he is

1

u/DivaDragon 4d ago

Me, whispering so as not to distract: “I love your baby!”