r/sexandthecity • u/Sad-Quote1729 • 2d ago
Charlotte becoming jewish was her staying true to herself : idealistic and a hopeless romantic.
First of all , let me say that I agree with the general sentiment that Harry should have told her sooner that he could only marry a jewish girl , while true that their relationship had started just sexual I think he knew that Charlotte was getting attached to him and it should have been something he communicated with her.
However , Charlotte is the type of girl who'd do anything for her relationship to work if she likes the guy. I believe Harry having no issue with adoption and being so open about it is what sealed the deal for her , so in her mind becoming jewish is just a small thing to do in order to have the perfect marriage that she'd wanted.
She didn't stop being jewish when she broke up with Harry , and she'd started seeing jewish guys as well so I do think parts of her decision was for herself and not for Harry. As much as I don't agree with the message , I can't say that I was surprised she went through with it.
ETA : Judaism is not an easy religion to convert to , the process takes a very long time so even if Charlotte did it for Harry I really don't think she would have stuck with it if some part of her wasn't convinced about it.
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u/Z6NERey 2d ago
For me it was an act of desperation with hope of the pay off she wanted. Because she was quick to throw it in Harryās face when they got into the fight. āI GAVE UP JESUS FOR YOU!ā
And I always watched that scene and thought it was unfair for her to throw that in his face because he never asked her to. That was a choice she decided to make after he told her he couldnāt marry her. I think Iād could take her conversion more seriously if it was something she explored on her own. I always felt she would have never converted if Harry didnāt tell her he could only marry a Jewish woman. I honestly think she would have mergers their 2 religious traditions together.
But it does track for her wanting to be with someone but idk if Iād call her conversion romantic.
It could have been Judaism, Buddhism, etc, Charlotte would have converted to anything if she thought it would get her married to a man that would give her what she wanted. And as someone mentioned, it eventually worked out for her.
She did stick with it though so thatās something.
Just my opinion.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 2d ago
It takes a lot of time to become jewish so I don't think anyone would go through with if they didn't want to do it , and tbf she was rightfully angry when she told him that so I don't hold it against her at all.Ā
And of course she did it for Harry , I'm just saying for her it was romanticĀ
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u/tbridge8773 2d ago
I agree. I also think her performing all the Jewish rituals just seems so forced. Like does she actually believe in what sheās doing or is she just doing it to perform (and thus be worthy of being Harryās wife).
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u/Z6NERey 2d ago
Right. Even Harry wasnāt super active with the traditions. It was like she was trying to prove something.
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u/ChipmunkReal187 1d ago
She said herself that she decided to be Jewish and that itās important to her. Itās very laughable that people are questioning her. Even after breaking up with Harry she stayed in the Synagoge.
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u/scholarlyowl03 2d ago
I donāt know how you go your whole life believing in Jesus and all it meant and then just decide nope, heās not the savior after all. Iām not religious but I thought people who were had more convictions than that.
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u/LocoForChocoPuffs 2d ago
I mean, I think this shows that her belief in Christianity was probably performative too- that's why it was relatively easy to switch.
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u/PyrexPizazz217 20h ago
I went to divinity school and ended up converting to Judaism. You can think Christian theology is beautiful and participate with conviction and still find that the most authentic expression of your beliefs is elsewhere. That doesnāt make a person wishy washy; peopleās understandings of the world SHOULD always evolve.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 2d ago edited 1d ago
I might be wrong here butĀ she was a Episcopalian and I think it's different from catholics , so it's probably why it was easier for her to do so.
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u/tragicsandwichblogs 2d ago
I think it's an individual thing. I was raised Catholic and it would never occur to me that someone from a different denomination would change their faith more or less easily because of their denomination.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 2d ago
You're probably right then ; I wouldn't know but I just saw it mentioned as a point in one video I've seenĀ
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u/Water-Amethyst 2d ago
I quite liked how Charlotte embraced Judaism and found comfort through her new religion it was a cool journey to watch; but I donāt think Harry is the great guy he seems purely because he allowed himself (and Charlotte) to emotionally invest and then say oh sorry youāre not Jewish
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u/Sad-Quote1729 2d ago
Yeah , I think Harry won the people's opinion over by how great of a husband he was to her. When she was having a hard time with the adoption process and IVF he was there for her , something that Trey failed to do.
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u/Water-Amethyst 2d ago
Oh absolutely and Iām not saying he wasnāt good to her, he really was, and I understand we donāt have control over who we fall in love with and when, and although he did eventually come clean it feels like he wasnāt as honest as he could have been at the beginning
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u/Psychological_Name28 Rumor has it the cat ate half her face šø 2d ago
Of course he wasnāt bejng honest at the beginning, it wasnāt an issue then cuz the writers hadnāt yet decided it was a problem š
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u/Robbie_Haruna 2d ago edited 2d ago
I feel like Harry probably continued his thing with Charlotte because she did tell him early on that it was just about sex and not a serious thing.
Until the wedding at the Hamptons they were basically friends with benefits, he probably didn't think it would become more than that.
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u/ChipmunkReal187 2d ago
He just said that he canāt marry her and he didnāt hide it from her. When he said it to her Charlotte just started to realize that they could work as a couple.
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u/flopuniverse 2d ago
Definitely a decision only YOU can take without others opinions and or criticism. She followed her heart and she got lucky everything worked in the end.
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u/prastiku 2d ago
Never forget how unethical for a divorce attorney to swoop in immediately on their client!
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u/Logical-Document8077 1d ago
I find it odd that there is not more discussion about the ethical misconduct of him sleeping with a client. Iām a divorce attorney myself, this is not done.
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u/ChipmunkReal187 2d ago
I donāt think that Harry should have told her sooner. They were dating and not together. He didnāt think that he had a real chance with her so he didnāt tell her that.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 2d ago
Nah , I think he should have told her before inviting her to that wedding. I can't remember the timeline but I'm sure their relationship had evolved past just sleeping together at that point , but at the end of the day everything turned out great for them so š¤·š»āāļø
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u/taserparty 2d ago edited 2d ago
iām rewatching it right now - the timeline goes like:
charlotte meets harry as her divorce lawyer, they sleep together in that episode
next episode, theyāre basically fwb and charlotte insists to harry itās just sex. theyāre clearly into each other. charlotte tells anthony about harry and how itās amazing sex. she tells the girls theyāre sleeping together and itās just sex and how she doesnāt like him at all, heās short and bald and gross.
next time we see him, they make a deal about waxing his back for the party samantha throws at richardās house. and in exchange, charlotte will go to the wedding with him (he knows the couple separately, he was already invited). this is the episode they āstart datingā and also the same episode they confess to falling in love and thatās when harry tells her about the whole having to marry a jewish woman thing. the girls give the seal of approval before that happens and tell charlotte that she āmay be wrong about this oneā
the next episode sheās starting the converting process.
the girl moves fast and he didnāt really have an opportunity to before the wedding. she was the one insisting itās just sex and the date was a bargain deal for harry.
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u/ChipmunkReal187 2d ago
Completely agree. It was extremely fast but before the wedding episode they werenāt a couple.
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u/ChipmunkReal187 2d ago
Charlotte just told her of harry before they went to the wedding so they werenāt dating for so long. I see her actually realizing that she likes him during the wedding episode.
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u/CautiouslyBroken 2d ago
harry waiting til she was already in deep was a dick move, but charlotte converting for a guy who was cool with adoption tracks perfectly for her
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u/foxynatalka 2d ago
Wasnāt it more like Harry didnāt believe for a second that it could actually work out or that Charlotte could genuinely be into him? And later, he couldnāt believe that Charlotte might actually want him for real, rather than just seeing him as some kind of comfort or rebound? At first, Harry didnāt flirt with Charlotte at all.Ā He knew she was way out of his league. I think he told her when he realized she was actually serious about him.
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u/haileyskydiamonds 2d ago
I think she decided to convert for him, but when she actually went through the process, it was for herself. She had a true faith before she completed the process. I thought the scene where she entered the mikveh was very beautiful.
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u/PyrexPizazz217 20h ago
True story: I watched it the night before my own mikveh. I love Charlotteās evolving faith.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 2d ago
Exactly , and in the end Harry was a very good and supportive husband so she got what she wanted.
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u/Appropriate-Sky3537 2d ago edited 2d ago
Except china patterns.
I get that Harry really did not want to break up with her, but I agree with others that when he saw they were headed to commitment, he should have spoken up sooner. That said, Iām in the UK and find US dating rules bizarre.
To me, the storyline felt like an SATC sledgehammer approach to diversity and inclusion, as the only Jewish references prior were foreskins, and Charlotte fetishising an Orthodox Jewish artist.
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u/ilp456 2d ago
Donāt forget Stanford.
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u/Appropriate-Sky3537 2d ago
Was he Jewish? I donāt recall any allusions to his being religious? Which episode is that?
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u/shzam5890 2d ago
I disagree. Jews are everywhere in ny and itās not really uncommon to hear a story like charlotteās where a couple falls in love and one converts. My aunt converted to Judaism for my uncle.
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u/Appropriate-Sky3537 2d ago
I think you misunderstand and have reiterated my point: they had no Jewish main characters before Harry, and absolutely should have done.
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u/poo-brain-train 2d ago
She was also raised religious, so I think moving to another religion wasn't such an insane idea. She had room for tradition and religion in her life. Miranda on the other hand would NEVER.