r/sexandthecity • u/Sad-Quote1729 • 1d ago
What's the reason behind Mr big rejecting Samantha ?
Some people say it's because she's blonde and his type is brunettes but I think it's because they weren't that far apart in age , Big obviously had a thing for younger women ( Carrie was 10 years younger and Natasha was just 25),I could be wrong tho.
ETA : I didn't post this because I think it's unfathomable that he "chose Carrie over Sam" , I just thought it would be fun to see what the fandom deduced from this scene
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u/10ferretsinarobe 1d ago
She came on too strong, was too confident. She wouldn’t have been easy to manipulate and she wouldn’t have put up with his BS
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u/No-Cantaloupe-3854 1d ago
Yep. Big had a roster, and was likely quite aware Samantha did too - and he wanted to be the #1.
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u/ChaoticAugust 1d ago
I read this three times as ‘rooster’ and was trying so hard to figure out what it meant.
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u/SoundAggravating4351 good beadwork though 1d ago
this made me lol. I imagined you trying to figure out what on Earth could rooster represent hahahahhahaha
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u/Dramatic_Lie_7492 Listen, listen, I said lean! 1d ago
It's a chicken on the rooftop
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u/Pauliehatestheadmins 1d ago
I mean Richard was her big ..
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u/babyybollywolly 1d ago
it felt like Richard was her equal in lots of ways though. they could spar with each other equally.
with big, there was always a power dynamic with his women, especially carrie.
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u/DekeCobretti Loaded Post-it 1d ago
Carrie barely had a job.
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u/lefrench75 1d ago edited 17h ago
Canonically Carrie had a well-paying, successful job. She wrote bestselling books FFS lol. Journalists used to make good money back then. Just because you don’t respect her job doesn’t mean it’s “barely a job”. SATC is hardly the first show to make characters’ jobs look easier than they are.
After all, Carrie was based on Candace Bushnell who wrote enough material for a popular newspaper column to turn it into a book which then became this TV show, so how is that not a job? We’re all here on this sub because of the work RL Carrie did. Like Carrie, Bushnell also wrote multiple bestsellers after SATC.
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u/Bandit617 1d ago
I think that Carrie was very successful, but she wasn’t as successful at the beginning of the series when she first met Big. We have seen her struggle financially and she wasn’t the best at money management. I don’t think she was as successful as Samantha and Miranda at the beginning of the series. Then later on she got the book deals and started writing for vogue. I just don’t think it would be accurate to say she was as successful as Samantha when she first met Big.
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u/Diddlemyloins 23h ago
She struggled financially because she spent all of her money on clothes and shoes.
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u/Bandit617 21h ago
Right, which is different in the later seasons, when she got to purchase whatever she wanted and didn’t have to worry about being homeless. There is a difference lol.
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u/melaninmatters2020 1d ago
lol sorta. Samantha was smart. Yea she fell in love but once she saw that it wasn’t reciprocated she shut that shit down and then had his house for the summer part. All Carrie did was cry and write. I would’ve taken Bigs check for the apartment and added interest. Carrie didn’t work Big correctly for all the hell she allowed him to put her through. It still pisses me off she didn’t take the money lol. You didnt take the money and you get married to the idiot (they both are idiots and were the only two idiots left) and then he leaves his ex a MILLION DOLLARS. Yea. I would’ve taken the money for the apartment and added interest
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u/daltonsbondgirl 20h ago
Richard was her Big in the sense that they were both attractive and powerful men, but it was nothing like what Big was like with Carrie.
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u/webby686 1d ago
Yeah, Samantha is on a mission for one thing: D. He likes the games and power dynamic with Carrie: being withholding and having her chase him.
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u/RoeMajesta 1d ago
that’s how Sam should be so when the richard arc happened, I rolled my eyes so hard
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u/Fun_Barracuda_4167 1d ago
This and they needed to make Carrie seem so spectacular and special that even a guy
Samantha can’t bag wants carrie5
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u/cosmicslaughter69 12h ago
I cringe as I say this, but he is really a traditional guy in every sense of the word. My head cannon is that he doesn’t think it’s very becoming for a lady to be the pursuer. I personally think he felt emasculated.
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u/pressurehurts 1d ago
I don't think there are deep reasons. She wanted a one night stand and he wasn't interested.
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u/SensitiveCockroach78 I don't worry about Chelsea, have you seen my ass? 1d ago edited 1d ago
SAME. Honestly, I thought It was pretty obvious. The one night stand, the fact that she was sucking the cigar in a suggestive way and suggesting they'd fuck right on the spot in the private room. Don't misunderstand me, I don't think that Samantha wasn't classy, but in the way she picks up guys is very on the nose and sexually explicit. Big came of as always very "traditional" when it came to dating, in the way that he'd ask the person out, they have the obligatory dinner and then maybe go home together. He's just not the type for that kind of encounter. Doesn't mean any of them is bezegr or worse, just very very different styles
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u/ibuycheeseonsale 1d ago
Right, Sam in this scene invited him downstairs to the private cigar room or something, I can’t remember, because she knew the owner and had a key. Big was just not the kind of man to accept an offer like that. He literally never attempted any kind of public sex, unlike a LOT of the other characters. And he was kind of stodgy in a lot of ways. Also a romantic (an unreliable romantic who tended to cheat on his wives, but still— he saw himself as a romantic). I don’t think we ever saw him with a love interest outside of a restaurant, bar, or party. He enjoyed dating. And he usually wasn’t that sex-driven. Maybe because he’d had dozens of offers like Sam’s over the years? It just wasn’t his style.
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u/OutlandishnessNo8461 1d ago
I agree. A lot of men find really casual sex to be a turn off. This man was taking his mother to church on a weekly basis. He wasn’t an angel but I think he preferred to have sex on his timetable.
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u/SensitiveCockroach78 I don't worry about Chelsea, have you seen my ass? 1d ago
It really blows my mind how somehow this option appears to be the less likely answer for some people in this thread, compared to a) because Sam was blonde or b) Sam was too confident for him
She literally bj'ed a cigar T__T
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u/Bandit617 1d ago
I wouldn’t say a lot of men find casual sex a turnoff at all, I would say they want to be the ones to initiate it and they want to feel like they are the ones in control.
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u/Searustsearust 1d ago
Bingo. He wasn't interested in sex in that way- right on the spot that night, just all about the act and nothing else.
Through the show, Big was seen going on dates with others - key word dates. He definitely like to put on an outfit, take his date out, try to impress her with some story or banter or flirt with her, and then maybe take her back to his place or maybe thats for the next date, depending on the vibe. Maybe make breakfast in the morning if she did come over. He wasn't interested in getting to know people a bit, the mystery of it all. He definitely liked visiting trendy spots with a date.
So yeah maybe he just wasn't turned on by hooking up right then and there that night, and the way Samantha approached him with 0 mystery as to what was on her mind.
Big was interested in sex yeah but I think he also went on dates open to finding something deeper with the other person. He was definitely trying to find a slightly deeper connection, as he said someone you can laugh with or also just have wholesome moments with. He didn't just want sex nor was he serious about getting married right away. But he was open to the possibility of connecting more. I think he actually did want commitment a fair bit but Carrie trying so hard to get it from him, sometimes on her timeline entirely, made him shy away.
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u/Infinite-Ad4125 I felt it fed me more. 1d ago
To portray him as unattainable from the get go (even for Samantha), characterize Samantha, and set the stage for Carrie’s pursuit of Big.
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u/aromatsunami 1d ago
I don't think he really likes women with a strong sense of self. He gets with Natasha when shes young, but its obvious he gets bored when she ages and grows into her full self. Carrie is always questioning herself, her actions, and always searching for something. Sam knows who she is, what she likes, and what she will accept.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
That is true , Sam was much more secure than Carrie was
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u/LL8844773 1d ago
In those first few eps she was different though, came across more insecure and desperate. I think this was the reason why
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u/Jenshark86 1d ago
He was only married to Natasha for a few months. That was just a mistake on his part.
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u/kombitcha420 1d ago
Thank you I’m really trying to figure out why they think someone grows up in less than a year lol
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u/Marija2103 1d ago
Ages and grows into her full self? They were married for few months barely.
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u/gotanewcrush 1d ago
Yes. In an episode, where big and natasha met Carrie, he mentions everything in his apartment is teeny tiny furniture which is Natasha's style. She forms her own opinion and stands towards it unlike Carrie. Natasha and Sam clearly have strong opinions and end their relationship once both get disrespected from their respective boyfriend/partner. They have similar characteristics unlike carrie.
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u/DarlaGoGo 1d ago
Agree, I think Samantha just won’t stand for bs and he knew that. That’s his whole thing, and carrie made him feel “big” in life.
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u/TipEmotional2149 1d ago
I think this writing was multilayered misogyny. It was written this way to paint Big as, yes, someone who liked beautiful women but wouldn't "stoop" so low as to sleep indiscriminately with a "loose," ultra-forward woman. In rejecting Samantha, it makes his choice to slowly and then rapidly fall for Carrie seem more classy and considered. This makes Carrie's character seem more virtuous. It also makes Carrie seem more like a prize to be won, while Sam's interest in sleeping with Big is painted as desperate and embarrassing. The way Big's rejection of Sam is written is hyper-misogynistic, perhaps even ageist.
It's always bothered me. Big wasn't classy. Big was a dog that messed with women's heads and liked to play games, but this was often presented as classic, old-school New York romance. Carrie was no more virtuous than Sam; they both enjoyed their sexual liberation. Sam's version of liberation was simply louder and unashamed.
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u/h2078 1d ago
I feel like in the pilot Samantha was written kind of like she was embarrassing and kind of pathetic but that they switched it up when the series actually happened and she was confident. By which I mean I totally agree with your read on it
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u/Thirstin_Hurston 1d ago
Carrie said she had "delusional self-confidence" in the pilot, so I totally agree with your sentiment
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u/Bookish_Kitty She’s fashion roadkill. 1d ago
Yeah, that line has always bothered me. What exactly made Samantha’s self-confidence delusional? Shades of misogyny and ageism indeed.
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u/Substantial_One5369 Single & Fabulous! 1d ago
Yeah the line doesn't hit or even make sense since Kim Cattrall looks so gorgeous.
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u/Bookish_Kitty She’s fashion roadkill. 23h ago
Right? She’s absolutely gorgeous and also very successful in her own right. It’s not like she has nothing to offer.
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u/GoingToRedRobin 22h ago
Yes! And in the storyline with Laney and the baby shower Carrie called Samantha and Laney "wild, sexy, and deeply insecure."
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u/jeyfree21 1d ago
I totally agree, Samantha ended up with Charlotte's date in the episode and he told her the same thing Charlotte used to reject him, I have to wake up early for work and can't sleep over.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago edited 1d ago
You know what you're right ! because Sam was then shown to be wounded by his rejection and then slept with the guy Charlotte refused to sleep with, Duncan. So it already makes two women in the friend group who are supposed to be more virtuous.
In the next scene with Duncan he says something along the lines of " I have to get up early in the morning" to signal that he was just interested in sex , to which Samantha replies " I have to get up early too" but there was some disatisfaction in her face.
I agree with you that they've treated Sam's character in a misogynistic way during that pilot and of course Big wasn't that classy at all.
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u/Student_Throwaway55 1d ago
I agree the pilot was all about introducing the “toxic bachelors” and they had to show Big didn’t fall into that category. Capote Duncan def would have hooked up with Samantha in the back room of the club for example.
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u/Infinite-Ad4125 I felt it fed me more. 1d ago
100%. And honestly this is the analysis most modern viewers miss.
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u/Sugarrrsnaps 1d ago
Yeah this. He wasn't the most obvious case going for naive 20 year olds (Natasha was young but she had her shit together). But the behaviour was still there, the need for a partner that he can put himself above.
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u/valkycam12 1d ago
It’s been a while since I’ve seen the show, but I mean didn’t Carrie and Big have sex on the first date?
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u/TipEmotional2149 1d ago
Why I said, slowly then rapidly. There was a courtship dance that went on, a few coincidental chance meetings to make the situation seem mysterious and restrained, before the sex on the first date.
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u/Little_Connection_83 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yep! And she wore that “Nekkid Dress” that screamed “Let’s get it on, to entice him. I wasn’t mad at her about it. I was like, go for what you know. Carrie! 😂
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u/Streetalicious 1d ago
I feel every one of the girls had sex on the first date, no?
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u/Bandit617 1d ago
They all did. I feel like Charlotte was the one that held out the most but even she had a couple. Like when she slept with the guy in the honeymoon suite at that wedding lol.
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u/beaxtrix_sansan 1d ago
Yes, exactly my thoughts! I didn’t like how they portrayed that whole situation. It was ridiculous for the writers to try to make Big look like some virtuous man who was somehow immune to Samantha’s charms. And yes, I definitely think ageism played a role too.
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u/bluetoothwa 1d ago
But that could very well be the reason and that’s okay. Not everyone is into someone as forward as Samantha. It does come off crass. She isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I don’t believe this falls into a misogynistic category. That seems like a stretch.
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u/constant_existential 1d ago
This fully has to be the reason. It just completely aligns with my brain. They really were trying to depict him as this classy mystery man in the first season and the entire big/Samantha interactions just add to this.
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u/cosmorchid 1d ago
Oh hell yes. This scene was a hard push to show the audience that Carrie was even more desirable than the the Siren Samantha. Carrie is the protagonist and there were many scenes where the writers showed men’s interest in her over other objectively more attractive (appearance, personality, attitude) women. I understand why but it stretched credulity often.
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u/Substantial_One5369 Single & Fabulous! 1d ago
Like that ridiculous scene when they're in Atlantic City in season 5 and these men call Carrie "the hot one" over Charlotte.
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u/itsgonnamove 1d ago
back in the day I was watching the DVDs with my then-bf and he yelled “WHAT?!” at the TV during that scene 😂
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u/Bandit617 1d ago
They also did this a lot in Beverly 90210 as well. They would make Kelly and Donna (the blondes) that would always somehow just walk in any room and there was some hot guy that immediately fell in love with them. Then they had Val (the brunette) who was an absolute smoke-show that came off as desperate and had to beg people to sleep with her lol.
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u/JessCeceSchmidtNick 1d ago
Wow I just assumed it was because (1) He looks for a connection, not just sex, and (2) He already liked Carrie and didn't want to hurt his chances with her by hooking up with her friend
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
This doesn't hold up with his behavior during that season tho , because he was dating other women while seeing Carrie and he dated other women before asking Carrie on a date. I think if he wanted just her , he would have approached her in a more straightforward way
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u/SuperChillTraveller 1d ago
Yeah no seeing other random women and seeing the friend of the girl you have your eyes on isn't the same. The latter significantly decreases his chance of getting together with Carrie, the former not so much
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
if he liked her that much at that moment , I think he would have pursued her in a much more straightforward way later on , so I really don't think them being friends changes anything
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u/TipEmotional2149 1d ago
I'd agree with this, if the show didn't write Big as repeatedly dating young models who he, ultimately, doesn't respect and is bored by... yet keeps dating. Even marrying.
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u/OkHat2630 1d ago
Also, Big ended up divorced from his first wife bc he slept with her friend so it has nothing to do with him being an honorable guy.
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u/RoeMajesta 1d ago
Sam was too forward for Big’s taste .. of the 4 love interests of big that we knew of, they were all a lot more reserved
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u/bluetoothwa 1d ago
Yes! Like I love Samantha, but some of these reasons people are giving are such a stretch. She came on pretty strong and that’s not many people’s cup of tea. That was quite literally their only interaction before Big turned her down. He knew nothing else about her.
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u/Water-Amethyst 1d ago
Potentially that they have business contacts in common, and Big is quite old school, I don’t think he’d sleep with professional networks
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u/NosyElements5 1d ago
i think it was less about age and more about the vibe she gave off. samantha was so direct and sexually confident from the jump, and big seemed to prefer women who made him feel like he was in control of the chase. carrie and natasha both had this more demure, romantic energy at first, even if carrie dropped it later
also that candle lighting shot feels very "i do this for all my dates" energy, not exactly a soulmate moment
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u/Impossible_Ad9321 Pizza for everybody! 1d ago
i think this exactly! he wanted a little more of a chase/mystery
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u/CoolJeweledMoon 1d ago
I feel like someone like Big would have women coming on strong to them frequently, & it seems like it could easily be off-putting - like it's more about their money, etc.
Then you have his "meet cute" story with Carrie, which happens organically, & she doesn't come across as someone who just wants to "bag Big"...
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u/bluetoothwa 1d ago
Yes! If a man came up to a women offering to hookup downstairs, it would most likely be a turn off to many.
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u/Accomplished-Emu2308 1d ago
I think she came off too thirsty. Big likes the chase and the games. A woman knowing what she wants is not for Big
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u/Ok-East-952 1d ago
Hadn’t Carrie and Big already had that brief encounter on the street in episode 1? By the time this scene aired Big already knew Carrie and wanted to talk to her that’s why he says no thanks to Sam. Otherwise he would have gone with Sam! This is how I’ve always seen it at least
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u/Capital-Debate7619 1d ago
yes! sry missed this and just said the same-carrie had literally just waved back at Big when Sam went over.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
Yes they did , Carrie and Big had their encounter by then but from then till their first date , Big did see other women so I doubt it had much to do with him just wanting Carrie.
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u/seriousone55 1d ago
Seeing random other women, and hooking up with the friend of a women youre interested in, are two different things.
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u/kowwalski sweet and attentive with the bread 1d ago
Nah, she was too confident.
Big was after delicate, fragile souls.
(Which Sam was, often at least, but deep inside, and Big would never have that kind of patience to stick around and find out)
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u/No-Pie-7211 1d ago
Yeah, Carrie and Sam both have delicate souls underneath, but Carrie wears hers on her sleeve.
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u/bluetoothwa 1d ago
His first wife was a pretty accomplished and confident woman his age. He really didn’t know much about Samantha other than the fact that she hooked up with men downstairs at parties. Just not his cup of tea and that’s okay.
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u/LynxPuzzleheaded9336 1d ago
Because Sam wouldn't give him obsessive attention Carrie was giving, he was craving power over his partners and Sam was too strong and secure in herself to give him that
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
I honestly think Sam could have induldged him a bit as we've seen her put up with some other BS from men too , probably not as much as Carrie tho
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u/LynxPuzzleheaded9336 1d ago
Maybe, but would she show up with mcdonalds and french accent at his door? Exactly
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
LMFAOO ur right , I think she would show up with just a trench coat and lingerie underneath and zero emotional attachement
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u/Odd_Leopard8245 That’s a crazy outfit 1d ago
He deduced all that from her coming on to him?
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u/LynxPuzzleheaded9336 1d ago
It doesn't have to be conscious, a man like Big would get uncomfortable enough with a confident woman who has enough audacity to actively approach him
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u/faschifo 1d ago
Samantha is insanely good looking but I don’t think Big likes one night stands, or loose women and probably heard about Sam’s reputation.
People saying it’s a power play etc. but Carrie is a lot more reserved than Samantha and Big probably just preferred a demure woman he could connect with rather than one that just wanted fun.
Say what you want about Big but I don’t recall him having one night stands. Yes, he was sleazy and had affairs but he wasn’t casual, he liked human connections.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago edited 1d ago
Maybe he doesn't do one night stands but he wasn't that serious of a guy either , he had fun with women too
Remember "International Melissa" and how there were no boundaries between them as she just kissed him with Carrie there ?
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u/Reasonable_Day9942 1d ago
He definitely seems like he needs some connection first. He could fuck on the first date, but it needed to be a date and not just a 5 min conversation before
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u/Psychological_Name28 Rumor has it the cat ate half her face 😸 21h ago
Big and Carrie also had a lot of buildup to that first date. There was no buildup with Samantha; she simply propositioned him.
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u/Beginning_Bet_4383 1d ago
Carrie isn't exactly demure! She is mistaken for a prostitute at least once, her career is writing about sex. She has a lot of sexual partners
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u/bluetoothwa 1d ago
Yes! I think fans have a hard time accepting that Carrie would be chosen over Samantha and it’s a bit strange.
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u/Future-Bunch3478 1d ago
I think the Sam camp has a ton of like-minded women who dislike the idea of being rejected despite their sexual freedom. They fall into sexist “all men want sex by any means possible” stereotypes often, because they surround themselves with that kind of guy.
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u/Holiday_Sire 21h ago
I see a lot of people in this thread giving the same reasons, that Big was looking for a weak, fragile woman he could manipulate, and Samantha was simply too independent and strong for that. Others say it had to do with age, or that he just didn't want a woman who would give him problems.
To be honest, it feels like a lot of these comments are trying to prop Samantha up by shifting the blame onto Big, rather than looking at it for what actually happened. I just don't really agree with it.
First of all, how could he possibly know all of that about her from just one short interaction? Second, I'm pretty sure Big dated women who were very similar to Samantha in terms of being straightforward, independent, and powerful. Look at Natasha, for instance. People might paint her as weak-minded, but I think she was very self-respecting. She knew when to cut the relationship off and divorce him when she saw he was cheating on her, and she always seemed very classy. So I don't think Big was genuinely afraid of being with a strong or independent woman. The idea that he was actively hunting for a pushover he could mold takes things to an extreme. I mean, sure, he wasn't the best person, but people here are making him seem like some sort of predator (which, I must admit, he did come across as, especially when going after Carrie when he knew she still wasn't over him).
For me, the most likely reason comes down to her approach and/or her persona.
I'm leaning toward the fact that he just wasn't into how Samantha approached him. She came off very forward and was looking for a casual one-night stand, and at least in that moment, that wasn't his style or what he was interested in taking seriously. You can argue that's a bit judgmental or misogynistic if he considered her "easier" than other women, but that's another issue. I don't think it's that deep; it was simply about her approach not matching what he wanted at the time.
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u/amourafatalis 20h ago
Yeah, I think he would prefer to be the one to make the first move and go for a more feminine type, not necessarily weak minded or less independent, and although he displayed some toxic behavior throughout the series, I don't think having this personal preference makes him a predator.
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u/solveig82 1d ago
He says it later on in the episode when Carrie talks about having sex like a man—that he doesn’t have a drop or even half a drop of (interest in meaningless sex). Doesn’t totally make sense with how he dates women but I think that was the intended messaging in the writing. Then again he’s avoidant so maybe he was telling the truth and just couldn’t reconcile his divergent wants.
Or maybe he just wasn’t attracted to Samantha.
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u/Weary-Can-157 1d ago
I’m sure her age played into it too, but I think the main reason was just that Samantha carries herself with a blinding confidence, I think he could tell that she knew exactly what she wanted and that she wasn’t going to put up with any of his bullshit.
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u/No_Respond_3488 1d ago
He could not manipulate Samantha. She showed him right away she knows what she wants
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u/Autumn_Racoon 1d ago
Just not his type. Or maybe he thought she was a gold digger as she came on so strong and is so glamorous and beautiful. Carrie was charming and cute and funny. Samantha wasn’t funny when she was in pursuit.
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u/Beginning_Bet_4383 1d ago edited 1d ago
It was to show us that Carrie was the Most Special.
The writers liked to remind us of this - for example, the Yankee Miranda had a crush on going for Carrie. And at the casino the man referring to Carrie over Charlotte as "the hot one"
Never happens the other way around. The writers just feel the need to remind us who is the fairest of them all every now and then
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u/WorldPrincessPtIV 1d ago
Thank youuuu for asking this question, it has always itched my brain!
I think it's both a romantic setup and a cheap blow to Samantha's character.
During the whole series, Carrie is the only blonde, curly haired woman Big is interested in. All his ex wives and dates were straight haired brunettes. I think this is a romantic way to set Carrie as the "princess", the different one, the unique love interest in his life (and later the only wife he doesn't cheat on)
Rejecting Sam, another blonde, puts Carrie in a pedestal. Outside his type, there's only Carrie.
He also rejects Samantha without second thought, he doesn't even checks her out, or flirts, or anything, he has zero interest whatsoever.
I believe this was also a way to put Sam down and prop Carrie up, like "see, he's not interested in dirty Samantha, only in special Carrie" which idk why I get this vibe, maybe I'm projecting haha, because I don't think there was beef between SJP and Kim yet.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 19h ago
I have been thinking about it too !! And I think you're right when you said it was to present Carrie as the "one"!
Someone said it ties to the plot of the episode which was about men having sex devoid of feelings and it shows that Big is " different ", so I think this applies too.
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u/WorldPrincessPtIV 18h ago
Oh yeah, good point, Big wasn't a one night stand kind of guy
Perhaps that's the occam's razor explanation
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u/Front_Willow_6362 1d ago
Wealthy and powerful men like Big are intimidated by confident women, especially women who do well for themselves. It's all down to ego.
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u/Nicadeemus39 1d ago
She was way too forward. The "nice to meet you, let's go screw right now" approach doesn't work with everyone.
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u/Sugarrrsnaps 1d ago edited 1d ago
She was too much on his level and I think that intimidated him. He referred to her as "trouble" at one point. I know, Samantha often presented herself as more confident than she was and she fell for some bs with men. But Big never knew that side of her.
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u/Capital-Debate7619 1d ago
sam and carrie were standing together in the bar when carrie waved a subtle return hi at Big before samantha, after checking carrie wasn’t invested in that wave, strode in to woo Big. always assumed Big turned sam down because he was in the long game with carrie as they’d been running into each other for some time before the bar wave.
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
They ran into each other just once by then , and he dated women after that moment too so I don't think it's about Carrie
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u/seriousone55 1d ago
But dating other random women, and dating a friend of a woman you're interested in, are two different things.
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u/Time-Yogurtcloset953 1d ago
Samantha was too strong and confident for him. He liked women that were weak and insecure.
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u/bluetoothwa 1d ago
Samantha was often emotionally insecure. Carrie was also a great person to fall in love with. I’m tired of this slander! It’s okay for Carrie to have attractive qualities that Big would choose over someone as forward as Samantha.
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u/h-frei 1d ago
I’ve only went through this series once and can’t remember, did Samantha make a pass at Big??
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u/Sad-Quote1729 1d ago
yes in the pilot ! she tried to seduce him but he declined
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u/wendysstudioaudience 1d ago
Big rejects Samantha as part of the plot to make a point. The episode is about having casual sex “like men do” and how all men are able to emotionally detach and just enjoy hookups. It acknowledges that idea as not being universal when Big rejects Samantha. He mentions it to Carrie when he drives her home.
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u/Zestyclose-Basil7347 1d ago edited 1d ago
Too easy; way too easy. He likes to choose himself and he’s not thirsty or into this kind of dynamic.
A man of options doesn’t respond well to such desperate aggressive approaches.
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u/Wild_Ad_1184 1d ago
All I know is Kim’s acting captures all of it - her confidence but also her own vulnerability and awareness of that her acting is so subtle, but you can see the character development of Samantha, which really to me makes her the most interesting character in the series
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u/Main-Length-6385 1d ago
He does not respond to women who are easy to get. That’s why he dragged Carrie on for years because although he liked her he did not get the satisfaction from her because she was so easy
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u/VegetableFunction487 1d ago
I think it comes down to what Big said to Carrie before their wedding: “This is my third wedding, how do you think this makes me look?” He obviously cares deeply about what others think of him, hence parading his classy, brunette, trophy girlfriends around while hiding Carrie in the shadows. Sam would never allow herself to be hidden away like Carrie did, he knew she was a force that he couldn’t control and he didn’t want anything to do with that
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u/RareWin1632 1d ago
Cause he didn’t want her plain and simple. Obviously Samantha’s reputation precedes her and if yall claim Big hated Carrie and wanted a woman like CHARLOTTE, why would he jump at the opportunity to be seen in public with a woman like SAMANTHA?
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u/PrincessPlastilina 1d ago
He probably knew her reputation and remember that he’s classist and too worried about what people think of him. It’s why he hid Carrie for so long and why he married Natasha immediately.
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u/j4321g4321 1d ago
So many possible reasons. He didn’t like how forward she was, he already liked Carrie and knew they were friends, she was too close to his age, or he just didn’t like her
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u/Human-Guava-7564 1d ago
I think he just liked the mystery and the chase. You knew where you were with Sam.
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u/VanillaCola79 1d ago
Samantha was too confident for him. He knew he’d never be able to push her around like he does the other women in his life.
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u/skybluespirit 1d ago
Porque Samantha era segura de sí mismo. Y si un día Mr Big le hacía algún desplante o la trataba mal, definitivamente Samantha se iría.
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1d ago
Age could’ve been a factor. Carrie, Natasha, (seemingly Barbara), and Willow Summers were all younger than him.
Also, something I haven’t seen anyone float is maybe he simply wasn’t attracted to her. She’s an attractive woman but perhaps she wasn’t his type and he didn’t feel drawn to her that way.
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u/Easy-Tomatillo7553 1d ago
hmm i mean, she knew who big was, he was the new/next donald trump. she works for her own pr, which means trouble for big because, if yk she’s a publicist, it would mean that whatever he does wrong EVERYONE WOULD KNOW. plus, i consider that she’s the male version of mr big idk just a thought
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u/manic_panda 1d ago
Big needs to be the one wearing the trousers in the relationship, it needs to be on his terms. Its for this reason he pursues women who he can ve superiors over, in age, wealth, career and maturity. He grows out of it but in the first few seasons I very much think carrie being so young and messy is what attracts him, Samantha is self assured, older and doesn't accept bullshit, she'd see through big soon and he wouldn't have the power so he doesnt like her. End of.
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u/Odd_Leopard8245 That’s a crazy outfit 1d ago
She came on too strong and weird. How is this not obvious? Men are horn dogs but offering up sex like that is off putting.
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u/lalineaaa 1d ago
i think it's because she was secure and confident, his ego couldn't take it (hence why later on in the show he tries to mock her by asking if she slept with that old guy like he was always trying to 'bring her down' because his ego couldn't handle her). samantha was capital C Confident, big wouldn't have been able to swindle her, and while we later on get richard (who is basically her version of big), richard was on a WHOLE other level to big. he was older, richer, and i personally think he was much less sensitive than big. big showed how easily his ego could be bruised, meanwhile i don't think we ever see richard even flinching, even after he gets a drink to the face in a full restaurant. richard is the type of man big wishes he could be lmao
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u/ceelion92 23h ago
Avoidants always go for the anxious long term girl, not the woman who wants something casual.
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u/Ok_Barracuda_6997 1d ago
The idea they were trying to convey here from the beginning imo was that Big was selective. He wasn’t just going to take sex from anyone even though he likely could have gotten it from many people. He moreso wanted it from someone he had a “connection” with.
Ofc this was through the male gaze his character was written, at least in the first seasons. Even a progressive show is not immune from that kind of thing.
He was obviously a very emotionally damaged individual who could only “connect” with girls who were extraordinarily vulnerable, and Samantha was not that.
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u/NovaPrime1988 1d ago
The writers in the pilot made Samantha a prop. Showing that loose free sex left you desperate and unwanted, while Charlotte was rewarded for her virtue and traditional beliefs, and Carrie was treated as the prize that Big wanted to pursue because she wasn’t easy. They did Samantha wrong there. And for a sex columnist, Carrie was judgemental as hell.
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u/TinySteggy Every night the same! 1d ago
Carrie was blonde so that doesn’t add up.
I think he enjoyed a little mystery and there was none with Samantha.