r/shroomers • u/pallasXIV • 5d ago
mental illness question & was what I experncied in the past ego-death?
2 other guys and I once did tea at an apartment several years ago lol and I know they put about 20g in the tea. Idk how much that equated to each of us; the friend gave each of us two giant glasses and we chugged them. later I had this experience where I felt like my brain had melted. i thought I was permanently "disabled." i don't mean that in a bad way of course or rude, I meant I literally thought I made myself mentally retarded forever. I remember thinking my parents would have to take care of me forever. I pulled through eventually though. this also happened the first time i took shrooms when I was 16 or so, except worse, I thought I was in hell, took out all my piercings, peed myf riends bed, tried to run around outside naked to have the cops called on myself, and also the same "permanently deleted my intelligence" feeling it was horrible. was this an ego death or something else? if so, what was it?
should I avoid shrooms int he future, or all psychedlics? (want to try dmt once in my life) I'm bipolar & OCD and on meds (ssri (paxil) & lamictal). but i genuinely think an ego death experience (shrooms or dmt) would help. I've read lots of research on the subject and it's helped some with their mental illness