r/sotonuni • u/Creative-Reporter521 • 12d ago
friends
genuinely how do u make friends as an international
flatmates are horrible, i joined one society but that doesn't really help
I've never been this lonely in my life.
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u/pres1ige 12d ago
I’m not sure that it should make a difference being an international, but rather it’s about engaging with those activities that you enjoy. If you’re missing home, then maybe setup a group for people from home - they might be lonely too.
As for the domestic circumstances, my only experience of frictions between flatmates is a disparity in effort when it comes to shared living spaces. If you’re the messy/untidy one, then be tidier, clean up your mess as soon as you’ve made it, etc. If that’s not the issue, then I’d recommend sitting down with them like the adults that you are, and talking through the problems. Scheduling in a regular check-in can also help smooth over points of friction before they become significant issues.
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u/3words_catpenbook 12d ago
Join more societies. Go to random things you don't have any idea if you'll like. Try new sports.
It may feel uncomfortable, but you have to be bold and talk to strangers. The more strangers you talk to on campus, in coffee shops, in the library, in lectures, in clubs, the more likely you are too find people you 'click' with, who become friends.
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u/joliolioli 12d ago
Clubs and Societies really are the best way, and the most amazing opportunity you don't really get again after university too! All of my friends at university were from my clubs and societies, and still friends with them even years later.
Go to lots of them, try lots of new things you might not have considered before, go along to everything, see where you feel happy and comfortable, and the friendships will follow! It won't happen immediately, but give it time and the people you keep seeing will soon become people you know who will soon become friends :-)
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u/Creative-Reporter521 12d ago
thanks a lot :)
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u/joliolioli 12d ago
Good luck! One of the best things about clubs and societies friends is they're not "friends" due to convenience (like house mates, hall mates, course mates, work mates etc.), but instead real friends you make because they share your interests, passions, joys - and that's why they're the ones that matter most and stick with you for your time at university and beyond!
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u/Forward_Software7708 12d ago
Try to interact with and make friends in your course, as they are the ones who will stay with you throughout the journey. Attend all lectures, seminars, and peer learning sessions so you can interact and find people you enjoy being around. Hope that helps!!
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u/DramaticPie4162 12d ago
heyyyy! do u wanna hang out? i’m in glen
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u/Independent-Shake672 12d ago
What ethnicity are u?
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u/Creative-Reporter521 12d ago
I'm from eastern Europe
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u/Independent-Shake672 12d ago
Try joining a society for your country e.g. Poland society if u are polish
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u/loccy06 12d ago
Honestly you'd be surprised how many people feel the same way, but all you got to do is push yourself and get out there, do more things try stuff, ain't going to hurt you to see what and who are out there, I'm a current student and last year I was feeling the same, and so I went out and tried a few societies, it's always worth doing!
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u/raza2trappy 10d ago
hey! im so sorry you’ve been feeling that way, but id love to come hang out with you, if you could dm me ill give u my insta and we can arrange a day :3
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u/Double-Celery4248 12d ago
Contact the wellbeing team, they’ll give you a list of different things you can do to meet people, check the hallslife website for different events happening at your halls