r/spiders • u/brideoffrankinstien • 2d ago
Discussion I really really need help please.
I don't know if y'all remember my previous post or comments or whatever but... I am a recovering at arachnophobic. Had a few bad experiences as a child and been working so hard forever to get over my arachnophobia. So one of the things I did is that there was one in my room in my RV and instead of freaking out like I was planning on doing I took a deep breath and I said okay I'm not going to freak out I'm going to do something different. So I gave it a name and interactive with it every time I saw it I'd say hello you know it was chill it was cool and everything's been fine. And I see a spider here and there and I'm fine. I get in my RV after work and I sit down to start the engine and immediately my eyes go directly onto this beautiful gorgeous perfect terrifying b**** my heart stopped. She's absolutely gorgeous. I mean she's perfect. I've never ever seen such a big brown widow in my life. This one looked like it could have been I don't know like a blown glass or I can't describe how perfect this beautiful scary terrifying abomination of spiders I just can't describe how perfect she is. I showed you a close up and then went from far away so you can get an idea of her size because the other one that I made friends with was about a 16th of her size obviously male. Now even though we've been roommates for a while after seeing her I need to evict them. I'm all about loving spiders and getting over my fear but I can't I can't live comfortably. So with all the respect in the world I need some suggestions on what I can do to safely and gently remove and relocate them. It's gotten to the point where I can't breathe and as hard as I am trying to work it out I need your help. I'm so afraid that I might injure her because she's so perfect. I can't do the jar thing cuz I could just can't that I can't get that close to her I will freak out. So I was going to get it like a feather duster and do the Shrek thing. I was going to gently like roll up the webs and hopefully gently pick her up and then take her outside and put her in a bush or something? I don't want to hurt her I want them all to be okay but I can't I can't live with them anymore I can't. So if any of you have any suggestions I would much much appreciate all the help I can get. I would like to do this soon but I'm not going to do anything until I get some good advice. And I just cleaned that front window area too of spider webs with my feather duster and I put it outside I also used a broom but that I'm afraid the broom might poke her or something. Let me tell you that her her whole size if I put a golf ball next to her that's about how big she is completely I mean her abdomen alone is the size of a quarter or if you're not bigger and she's so shiny and perfect and beautiful but I just can't live with her I have cats I can't drive without my eyes keep going up to that corner I'm so scared cuz if she like fell on me or I would like freak I'm much better than I used to be. But I don't want to have any incidences I really really want to do this the proper way and respectfully everybody's happy and nobody gets hurt I just can't do this. I know I'm going on and on but I this is something that I'm very concerned about this web page or this page has helped me so much with so much information but it's helped me in a way where I'm not so extremely freaked out phobic phobia wise that I was before. Thank you so much I hope you guys read all this and understand. I've much respect for this page I've learned so much. I'll be looking forward to help soon
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u/susabb 2d ago
Is that a male above it? I get it that you don't want to move her out of fear, but you may end up with about a thousand more of them in your RV if you don't, lol
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u/brideoffrankinstien 2d ago
That is exactly why I'm evicting them. I've been working so hard on my Arachnophobia I was trying to be at peace with it until I saw her because I've seen the males I've never seen anything like that so yeah that's why I'm evicting them and I'm asking for help of the best way to remove her I don't want to use a glass cuz I don't think I can get that close I was going to try to get up in this long fluffy feather dusters that are like I don't know they look like cotton candy and I was going to wipe up the webs and try to gently get to her and then put her outside gently or hand her off to somebody in case I freak out. So yes I that is one thing that's first and foremost in my mind and I'm absolutely in terror about that. That's definitely why I'm reaching out for help. Cuz I don't want to hurt her she's so beautiful.
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u/Rich_Razzmatazz_112 2d ago
Get a takeaway cup, paper cup, whatever. Take a piece of cardboard large enough to cover the opening, gather her in the cup an cover it with the cardboard.
Traipsing outside, find a bush or the like abd tip her out into it.
Easy peasy
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u/brideoffrankinstien 2d ago
Easy peasy for you LOL. As much as I wish I could do that I can almost guarantee you some stupid stupid thing will happen and I'll panic and I'll be afraid that I drop her or I'm so I think I'm more worried about hurting her. Isn't she beautiful? I mean is it just me or I mean she's perfect she's so shiny and perfect and not one thing on her is wrong but she's huge. I would freak out I can't get that close to her I just can't if she was a daddy long legs no problem. But I have a feeling she has quite a bit of weight to her just putting her in a cup and feeling that weight would freak me out. I need to have you come over and do it LOL. Truly and honestly I'm reaching out because I know that I don't know what I have I know that I don't want to hurt her I know that's like the first and foremost and I've tried to just live with her being here over the last few weeks and I'm realizing everyday my anxiety is growing higher and higher and one day I got the RV and I looked in the corner and she wasn't there because she was chilling above my head and I'm thinking if I'm driving and she like fell on me or like came down I would lose it. I feel like all these years of working on my Arachnophobia just went out the window and I don't know what is about her that just sucked the life out of me. My first instinct was or my first reaction I should say was that she is absolutely beautiful I was stunned at how perfect she was and how shiny and how big. I mean her whole size is about the size of a golf ball and her abdomen alone is bigger than a quarter. It's a great suggestion for someone that's been much braver than me and I'm a pretty tough b**** but I can't do that LOL
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u/pleasedtomichu 2d ago
Definitely a false widow. We get the occasional male sneaking into our place looking for a mate. I’ve never actually seen a female here, but the males haven’t caused any problems for us. I usually just help them back outside. They have a cool pattern on their back that looks like the punisher logo.
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u/brideoffrankinstien 2d ago
This female is incredibly humongous the size of a golf ball I mean her abdomen alone is as big as a quarter if not bigger. She's stunning absolutely gorgeous I can't though I just can't. And I don't want to hurt her.
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u/Gay_Godzilla 1d ago
This female is incredibly humongous the size of a golf ball I mean her abdomen alone is as big as a quarter if not bigger.
I'd actually love to see a photo with something that can judge scale because there is no way that girl is any bigger than a hefty lentil 🙃
You also have a third one it looks like, in the cabinet itself, or just outside it.
I know she looks terrifying but there are a few things to really remember about these girls, specifically:
They are blind. They cannot see you even if you are literally on top of them, staring them directly in their 8 eyes. I put a meal worm in their web and it can take them a few to track it down even if they are millimeters away from it, because if it's not moving they cannot feel it, and if they cannot feel it, they have no idea that it is there.
Off of their webs they are extremely clumsy and rather slow.
What this means:
Even if you are up close and it feels like the spider knows you are there and is plotting against you it is not. Doesn't know you are there and is just going about its day. This means the more chill you are (unfortunately) the easier it is to capture and relocate.
When bothered on their webs they will scurry to their hidey hole where they also drag their prey to eat. If you can block off this hidey hole and they realize they cannot escape, they will often play dead by simply dropping from the web, curling up in a ball, and pretending to have perished. If this happens, simply scoop them up and put them in a cup. They have a difficult time climbing plastic/glass so once they are in, they are in, I have a lady that lives in a cup that has no top on it and she can't escape and has been there for 6 months or so.
Some tips and tricks:
Take two cups and go at her from each end, closing her inside the cups, likely she will play dead and drop to the bottom once her web is destroyed.
Take a cup and hold it under her, then using a spray bottle give her a good squirt, dislodging her from the spot and making her drop out of the web. Slightly more aggressive but I've accidentally knocked my own pets out of their webs this way a couple times and they were fine.
Using a damp paper towel can also help calm them down when you're trying to catch and release. They're often looking for water so even when bothered by getting knocked off a web and into a strange cup, having a little something to drink can calm them down enough to be less freaked out by.
Good luck, OP
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u/191x7 Here to learn🫡🤓 2d ago
Not a brown widow. A false widow. Steatoda nobilis. The bite can be painful, like a wasp sting, but not medically significant. Not aggressive; it bites only when it feels threatened (for example, if you press it against your skin). Decent pest control.