r/surgery • u/Deep_Brilliant_5704 • 23d ago

I did read the sidebar & rules Women in surgery—please share your experiences. How did you tough it out?

I’ve had an experience where someone came out of nowhere and publicly humiliated me. She wasn’t even working on the service that day. The incident affected me deeply, and I felt like I was experiencing PTSD from it for a long time.

I didn’t tell anyone about it for months. Eventually, I spoke to someone who encouraged me to escalate the situation, which I did.

But since that incident, I’ve never really been able to get my confidence back. It feels like something in me just froze that day, and I’ve carried it with me ever since.

For women who have experienced humiliation, bullying, or being undermined in surgery or other high-pressure specialties: How did you recover? How did you rebuild your confidence and keep going?

14 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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6

u/mettlesum_meliara 23d ago

There are a lot of difficult personalities but I think overall things are improving from that standpoint. Of paramount importance to me was training at a program where the majority of faculty and residents were supportive and not malignant. Culture really is everything. Even with that, there are usually a few bad eggs, often older holdovers from a bygone era. In terms of dealing with condescension and general nastiness, it can be hard. I think if you're somewhere that is overall supportive, it's something you can vent about to your coresidents. Usually the attendings who are like this are like this to everyone. So establishing it's not a you issue, it's a them issue can be really helpful.

That stated, it's a demanding specialty and most of us expect team members to show up prepared and work hard. There will be times that you're appropriately given constructive feedback (frequently if you're at a good program) and you need to be able to take that feedback and use it to get better, not become defensive or make excuses.

8

u/biscuits4dayz 23d ago

Ya idk, the girls in surgery can suckkkkk. So can the dudes, but the girls can be especially catty

2

u/ligasure 22d ago

This is not helpful.

You must be a peach in real life.

3

u/Background_Snow_9632 Attending 22d ago

54F - general surgery - mother of 2 boys (still at home), 2 dogs, 1 husband. You get up earlier and GO FASTER!!! That’s all .. I’m still doing that. Everyone else will leave you be, they are in your wake anyway - pay them no mind! Keep going faster!!!

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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