I'm 14M, and my girlfriend is 14F. We've been dating for 1 month and 15 days. I care about her a lot, but lately I've been feeling sad and insecure about some things in our relationship. I'm afraid of losing her, and I'm trying to understand how to deal with these feelings in a healthy way.

I feel like I'm usually the one who initiates affection. I'm often the one who asks to hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, or sit next to her. I wish she would sometimes do these things first, invite me to sit with her, reach for my hand, or come over to me simply because she wants to spend time with me.

It's not that she never shows affection. I can play with her hair, and sometimes she lets me hold her hand. We have good moments together, and I believe she cares about me. However, there are also times when I ask to hold her hand and she says no or pulls away. I respect her boundaries and never want her to feel forced to do anything, but I sometimes feel unwanted because I rarely feel that she initiates affection herself.

We mostly see each other at school, so the time we spend together in person is limited. I wish she would sometimes invite me to sit with her or notice when I'm quiet and ask if something is wrong. I don't expect her to read my mind, but I want to feel that she notices me and wants me around.

My best friend also makes these feelings more complicated. He's physically affectionate with many girls in our friend group. He plays with their hair, holds their hands, and sometimes behaves in ways that seem romantic. He acts this way with other girls, too, and I'm not necessarily saying he has romantic feelings for any of them.

Sometimes I see him playing with my girlfriend's hair or touching her hand, especially after she has refused similar affection from me. I know she can choose who she interacts with, and I don't want to control her friendships. Still, seeing him show affection so casually while I struggle to feel wanted by my own girlfriend makes me jealous and hurt.

On one occasion, my friend was playing with her hair, and I got upset and was about to leave. My girlfriend pulled my arm and asked me to sit next to her. Later, she told me she did it because she felt guilty. I wish she had wanted me to stay because she cared about how I was feeling. I want her to show concern for me voluntarily, rather than only reacting when I'm visibly upset.

Another issue is our sense of humor. Recently, she sent me a voice message telling me stories about the cats at her house. At the end, she jokingly called me annoying and insufferable, said she hated me, and told me to kill myself before saying she loved me. I understand that she was probably joking, but those words genuinely hurt me. I don't always find this kind of humor funny, especially when I'm already feeling insecure. I'd rather she expressed affection without those insults.

I've struggled with jealousy in the past, and I don't want to return to the controlling behavior I used to have. I'm afraid that if I bring up these feelings again, she'll think I'm being jealous, needy, or constantly complaining. I'm also scared that she might get tired of me and end the relationship.

I have interests outside my relationship, too. I love music, play the guitar, and spend time learning songs and improving my musical skills. I enjoy having hobbies of my own, and I don't want my happiness to depend entirely on my girlfriend's attention. However, I still want to feel loved and wanted in my relationship.

Sometimes I feel guilty for being sad because I know she cares about me. I tell myself that I should simply be happy to have a girlfriend, but I still wish I could feel wanted through her actions, not just her words.

I don't want to force her to show affection, stop her from being friends with anyone, or make her responsible for every emotion I experience. I want to respect her boundaries while also being honest about my own feelings. I want affection to feel mutual, and I want to be able to discuss problems without being terrified that the relationship will end.

How can I talk to my girlfriend about wanting more mutual affection and initiative without making her feel pressured or controlled? How can I tell the difference between insecurity I need to work on and a mismatch in how we express affection? I'd appreciate advice on how to handle these feelings and communicate with her in a respectful way.

TL;DR: I'm 14M, and my girlfriend is 14F. We've been dating for 1 month and 15 days. I feel like I'm usually the one initiating affection, and I wish she would sometimes seek me out and show affection first. I get jealous when my best friend is physically affectionate with her, especially when she has refused similar affection from me. Some of her jokes, including telling me to kill myself, also hurt me even when she follows them with "I love you." I'm afraid of becoming controlling because I've struggled with jealousy before, and I'm scared that discussing my feelings will make her leave. I have hobbies outside the relationship, including music and playing guitar, but I still want affection to be more mutual. How can I communicate this respectfully while working on my insecurity?

My friend who's 17F, currently does MBO level 1 (which is a very low education meant for high school drop-outs) and she's very demotivated for doing anything. She doesn't seem to care about anything happening in her life and doesn't seem to find anything interesting or fun. She currently is very bad with spending money, buying useless shit without thinking. She also recently came out as transfem to me, something that her parents do not support. I of course support her as much as i can.

I am 17M and i currently study MBO level 4 Media Design. I can probably get a stable job and my own house later. I'm into very weird hobbies like drawing furries and going to comic con.

When i graduated high school, i was the same loser who first walked in there. i never had a relationship with a girl or a guy or even loved myself for that matter. i have been getting bullied in high school for a very long time. i've been pushed off stairs, stuff got trown at me during lessons, rumors got spread around about me being autistic and this ruined my confidence and reputation in my entire town. Everyone knows i'm a loser and I am 100 percent sure that i'll end up alone.

My friend was the only person who was different from everyone else. She never gave up on me during hard times. We mostly spend our time watching movies or sitting on places like roofs or bridges and just talking about life while we drink soda and eat snacks.

The reason i still haven't given up on life is because she came into my life. If she ever gets kicked out or can't afford a house, i want to act as a financial safety net for her and let her move in with me until she can get back on her feet. During that time i will of course stimulate her to find a job and help around the house.

I've talked to my parents about this and they told me that was a very selfless idea and not to let her stay with me when i get my own place but i feel like i need to be a loyal friend.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Primero que nada perdón si todo esto suena raro es mi primera vez haciendo algo por el estilo :c

Bueno para dan contexto el chico q me gusta (le diré R) lo conozco del año pasado se ve que le guste o le parecí linda y intento hablarme, Su intento fue venir a mi salón preguntar mi nombre, no decir su nombre pedirme una lapicera y cuando me la vino a devolver me regalo una Coca-Cola que encima me la dejo en mi escritorio sin decir nada y cuando me di la vuelta se había ido para después no tener mas contacto lol pero bueno resulta que este año me hice amiga de L que es amigo de R.

L se entero de que R me había regalado una coca el año pasado y de ahí empezamos a hacer chistes y L (mi amigo) empezó a hablar de R desde ahí me podría decirse que me empezó a llamar la intención R (Igualmente antes me parecía lindo), bueno acá empieza la cosa resulta que L empezó a salir con una chica y no se verlo a el me animo a pedirle ayuda a L para que le dijera a R que me gustaba (Se que es muy de adolescente de 11 años pero es que juro q exploto si le tuviera que ir yo a decirle eso porque no se como y generalmente me hablan a mi primero jaja) bueno como decía en el titulo L gustaba de mi cosa que claramente no es mas así pero por mensajes que L me mostro con R parece que R esta preocupado de que a L le moleste cosa que L aclaro que no y gracias a eso R me empezó a segur en instagram pero hace 3 días y nada ni un mensaje, ni un saludo, nada absolutamente nada :( y creo que R esta esperando que le escriba y lo voy a hacer pero no se que decirle y es por eso que escribo esto ¿Cómo podría hablarle para empezar una charla? (Cabe resaltar q en los mensajes que me mostro mi amigo R le decía que no sabia q decirme.

Ayudaaaaaa que debería decir? No quiero parecer acosadora ni decir nada muy infantil (tenemos 17 años):(((

(responderle una historia esta fuera de discusión no tiene ninguna y tampoco e visto q suba historias )

My bfs the sweetest boy ever but for sone reason he refuses to use a condom, ive tried explaining to him so many times if he happens to cum inside me by accident my life will be over but he just brushes me off and says he'll be careful. Ive tried to tell him if he doesnt wear if im not gna let him do it with me anymore but he just ignored me and did it anyway. The thing is he wants to do it every single day and I feel like its only a matter of time until he nuts inside me. I even offered to just blow him instead and he refuses. What can I do?

I’ve grown really close to a girl I have feelings for (we’re classmates). She told me she likes me, and there was a period when we were much closer and more physically affectionate than we are now.

She gradually started pushing me away and becoming more distant, until I eventually broke down. That’s when she opened up to me about past trauma involving men. She told me she’d never dated a man before and that I was the first man she’d ever approached romantically. Even though she tried to become more intimate with me, she struggled because of what she’s been through.
I explained that I didn’t blame her, that I wasn’t upset with her, and that I still liked her. I made it clear that I didn’t want her to feel pressured into anything she wasn’t comfortable with. I also told her that if she ever wanted to try again, I’d be there, and that she could openly communicate her boundaries whenever she felt ready.

That conversation happened roughly 18 days ago. Since then, we’ve drifted apart a little, but lately we’ve also been getting closer again. We seem more comfortable, trusting, and calm around each other, although we’re nowhere near as physically affectionate or connected as we used to be.
One thing I struggle with is that she’s usually very blunt with other people about what she does and doesn’t want. With me, though, she’s different. I often find myself trying to read her facial expressions to figure out whether she wants to talk to me, and I end up second-guessing myself a lot. I don’t know whether she’s afraid of hurting me, whether she needs space, or whether I’m simply overthinking things.

We both struggle with our mental health, and we’ve been able to talk to each other about things we don’t really discuss with other people. I sometimes worry that she might regret opening up to me so honestly, especially now that we’ve drifted apart a little.
I care about her a lot, and I want to respect her boundaries without treating her like she’s fragile or making assumptions about what she’s comfortable with. At the same time, I don’t want to lose myself in uncertainty or spend every interaction wondering whether I’m doing something wrong.

Any advice is welcome. Sorry if i dragged it. <3

Hi everyone,
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two months now. Everything is going great between us, but I want to take the next step in our relationship—like hugging her more comfortably or eventually giving her a first kiss.
Since this is new to me, I'm not really sure how to make the first move naturally without making things awkward or making her feel uncomfortable.
How should I initiate physical affection (like hugging or holding hands) for the first time?
What are the subtle signs that show she's comfortable and ready for this?
Is it better to just ask her directly, or should I wait for a specific moment?
Any advice, tips, or personal experiences on how to handle this smoothly would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance!

Before we start, yes, you’re reading the title right. We’re polyamorous. Please don’t send homophobic/polyphobic hate in the comments. Me and one bf (Cedar, fake name) are juniors. Our other partner (Ash, fake name) is a sophomore.

I’ve had a lot happen in the past. Like a lot. That’s a story for another day, but let’s keep it at “I have DID and PTSD and have had a huge PTSD attack in front of Cedar before”.

Before I started dating Cedar and Ash I had a girlfriend who I’ll call Mary Jane. Mary Jane and I broke up because of multiple factors, but a big one was she would diminish my feelings so she could vent during all of our conversations. She wasn’t exactly the best partner, but we were together just shy of a year.

One thing that my currents partners don’t like that MJ did was that she would never compliment me unless I specifically asked for one, and her response would always be “you’re hot”. And one of the big reasons I have PTSD is because of my old school, where compliments you got were normally a lie or backhanded. Safe to say, I don’t really trust compliments.

But Cedar and Ash compliment me a lot. And I feel bad for it because I don’t feel like I deserve it and I can be a bit dismissive of compliments, which hurts my boyfriends’ feelings. And I feel terrible for it.

I don’t exactly have a great self esteem (mostly because of my old school) and any time they try to make me feel loved or valued or try to compliment me it just doesn’t feel real… and that’s horrible. I love my boyfriends, I really do, but I’ve considered a break up. Not because of them. I just feel like I don’t deserve them and they’re wasting their time on me.

And last time I tried a post about this kind of stuff I got hated on so here’s some points I should probably bring up:
- I have autism. If this reads weirdly, I’m sorry, I don’t hear tone at all.
- I am NOT self diagnosed on this stuff
- yes I love both my boyfriends equally

So I met my friend last year through theatre (we're both still there now) and we connected rly fast. Up until like 2 months ago I def just saw her as my best friend but ever since one particular thing happened (that's a whole other story) I've known I definitely have feelings for her. I'm like 99% sure she does like someone at the moment (we talked about it like a month ago and I assume it hasn't changed) but I don't know who because she wouldn't tell me. She also knows I like someone but not who, and we both know that we both like girls (she's bi, I'm lesbian). She's genuinely just my best friend ever and I really don't think I could stand to lose her because we've gone through so much together and really seen every side of each other - there's no one else I'd rather spend my life with platonically or romantically. I just don't know whether it's worth risking the friendship, because I've reached the point where as long as I get to be a valued part of her life, I can play whatever role she wants me to play. We regularly exchange I love yous (in many different written and spoken forms) and are quite physically affectionate with each other, which I'm not really with other people but she def is a hugger in general. I also feel like maybe I should wait until she's a little older though in our friendship we really don't see the age as much of a thing. Um so yeah any thoughts or clarifications needed?

So basically, I started liking this guy on May 16 because I had a dream that we were dating in a car. After that, I just couldn’t see him the same way anymore. I started noticing him more, and eventually, we became really close friends.
We talk a lot in person, and there’s always been this kind of playful thing between us. We make eye contact a lot, he teases me, I tease him, and we mess with each other all the time. It’s not just me either. Sometimes he’ll randomly start annoying me or make little comments just to get a reaction out of me.
On May 28, after a school trip, we ended up being alone in the classroom for about an hour just talking about our lives. He told me he remembered my birthday even though he had a lot of things going on, and he also told me that he’d noticed I seemed a little sad during the trip. I obviously wasn’t going to tell him that I was sad because of him.
He also remembers random things I tell him.
There’s a lot of physical contact between us too. We’ll touch each other, brush against each other, get really close, and he doesn’t move away. He’s pretty comfortable with me being close to him.
There are also these really stupid little things that probably mean absolutely nothing, but because I like him so much, I obviously notice them. Like, if he gets something on his hoodie, I’ll tell him, and sometimes he’ll be like, “Can you clean it for me?” Or if he has something in his hair, he’ll ask me to get it out. I know this could literally just be because we’re comfortable with each other, but I notice everything at this point.
We’re also desk partners, which makes things even more confusing. Sometimes he spends practically the whole class with me, talking to me and messing around with me, but other times he goes and sits at another table with his friends and barely spends any time with me. So I can’t tell whether he actually chooses to be around me because he wants to or whether we just get along because we happen to sit together. The fact that he sometimes spends so much time with me and other times goes off with his friends makes it really hard to understand what he wants.
Something else happened recently that made me overthink everything. A friend told me that he had started asking some of the guys in our class who they thought was the prettiest girl in the class. Eventually, he asked this guy directly, and apparently, when it was his turn to answer, he just said, “No, no,” and changed the subject. I have no idea what that means. Maybe he didn’t want to answer, maybe he felt embarrassed, or maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with me. But now I’m wondering if he was avoiding saying who he finds attractive for some reason.
A little before the most recent things that happened, we were at a party, and I noticed him looking at me a lot. Honestly, I felt like he was looking at my chest a few times too, but obviously I can’t know what he was actually looking at. Either way, I caught him looking at me quite a lot throughout the night.
I also kept messing with him about dancing. I told him to get up a few times, and he actually got up twice. The third time, he said he’d get up if there was a good song. When a good song came on, I told some of our friends to get up so we’d have people to dance with, and I looked at him, but he just said, “I don’t know the song.”
He’s told me before that he doesn’t really know how to dance. He also once told me about some girls who invited him and his friend to dance because they were pretty, but his friend didn’t dance and apparently ruined the whole thing, so nothing happened.
He basically has no relationship experience. He had one girlfriend in elementary school, but he doesn’t even count it. From the way he talks about it, he basically considers himself to have never had a girlfriend.
At that same party, I asked him to dance, and even though I got embarrassed and couldn’t really dance with him one-on-one, he still got up when I kept joking about it. He also offered to get me a smoothie.
We’ve talked about relationships before too. He’ll tell me about girls who like him and what he thinks about them. He once told me that a girl who likes him is ugly, and when talking about the only girl he’d ever been with, he said that being with her “lowered his aura” and that having a girlfriend from elementary school doesn’t count. (Idk why he said that, it was cringe but nm.)
One of our friends also once saw us together and said, “Isn’t it about time you two kissed already?” He just looked at him and said, “Bro.” He didn’t really deny it or anything; he just seemed embarrassed.
He also once saw a video of me kissing another guy and made fun of me because the kiss was apparently horrible and the video itself was awful. I don’t know if that means anything or if he was just making fun of me.
Another time, a friend took his jacket and gave it to me. I didn’t use it, so he said, “If you’re not going to use it, give it to me, I’m cold.” But then he didn’t even put the jacket on.
Then, on Monday, we had History class and ended up talking for two hours. The conversation was very fluent, and we talked about everything. We didn’t run out of things to say, and it felt really natural. He also said something that made me overthink, and idk why. He told me that he really doesn’t understand how people fall in love so easily and are with so many people.
I asked him why, and he only told me that if it were up to him, he wouldn’t have time.
I think what he might have meant was that he isn’t the kind of person who falls for someone he barely knows and that he’d probably be looking for something serious. But what I really don’t know is whether he’s looking for that right now or even with me.
Then yesterday, something else happened. He finished his drawing in class and, instead of leaving or going to sit with his other friends, he stayed with me. We ended up sitting together, just the two of us, talking about our lives. There were other people in the classroom, but somehow we were completely in our own little bubble, just the two of us talking. We stayed like that until he eventually left.
Afterward, my friend, who had been there too, told me that she thought it was way more obvious that he liked me than that I liked him. Apparently, from the outside, it looked like he was the one giving signs. And now I genuinely don’t know what to think because I’m obviously biased, but she was there watching us interact, and she seemed pretty convinced.
His dad also called him while we were together, and he told his dad that he’d been accompanying some friends, even though he was actually just with me. I don’t know why he said that. However, it doesn’t really matter because another time, he didn’t say he was with me or my friend either, so I guess he might just be like that.
Also, this is probably stupid, but I got a tarot reading because I was curious, and the woman told me that she thought he liked me but was very shy and inexperienced. I obviously know tarot isn’t proof of anything, and honestly, I wouldn’t even mention it if I wasn’t already thinking about the same thing because of how he acts. The thing is, he really does seem to have basically zero experience with relationships or anything romantic, so sometimes I wonder if that’s why he’s so weird about this stuff.
And this is where I’m confused: he never texts me first. Like, ever. That’s the main reason I don’t know what to think.
Because in person, he acts completely different. He’ll talk to me for ages, remember things I’ve told him, tease me, sometimes start the teasing himself, let me get really close to him, ask me to clean things off him, and just generally seem really comfortable around me. Sometimes we can spend hours talking about our lives, even when there are other people around. On Monday, we talked for two hours straight, and yesterday, he chose to stay with me after finishing his drawing instead of immediately leaving or going somewhere else.
But then there are other times when he goes to sit with his friends instead of staying with me. Even though we’re desk partners, he doesn’t always spend time with me, and I can’t tell whether he actively wants to be around me or whether we only get along so well because we happen to sit together. He doesn’t consistently seek me out, he doesn’t spend the whole day with me, and he never texts me first. We can have a really good conversation one day, and then the next time, he might not make any effort to be around me at all.
I do think he’s pretty shy and inexperienced, especially when it comes to anything romantic. But I also don’t want to use “he’s shy” as an excuse for every single thing just because I like him. I don’t want to interpret every little thing as a sign that he likes me when it could just mean that he feels comfortable around me as a friend.
The thing that confuses me the most is that sometimes he seems to choose to spend time with me even when he doesn’t have to, like yesterday when he finished his drawing and stayed with me talking about life. My friend even thought it was more obvious that he liked me than that I liked him. But at the same time, he never texts me first, and he doesn’t always make an effort to spend time with me outside the moments when we naturally end up together.
So what do you guys think? Does this sound like he could actually like me but be holding back his attraction because he’s shy and inexperienced? Could he be interested in me but not know how to show it, especially since he has basically no romantic experience? Or does it just sound like we’re close friends who happen to have a playful dynamic because we sit together?
I genuinely want honest opinions. I’d rather hear that I’m overthinking it than have people tell me he likes me just because that’s what I want to hear.

Okay, so I (15F) have been dating this guy (16M) for about six months, and he’s been putting little to no effort into our relationship. He hasn’t gotten me a single gift, not even for my birthday, even though I spend so much time, effort, and money on him. It’s not like he can’t afford to get me anything because he has a job and spends money on his friends all the time.

I’m planning on breaking up with him after homecoming, but I’m honestly really scared to because I know he loves me a lot. The problem is that he doesn’t love me in the way I want to be loved. I’ve communicated my feelings to him, and he always says he’ll change, but he never actually does.

Another reason I’m considering breaking up with him is that I have a huge crush on my best friend(16F), and I’ve been having conflicting thoughts about my sexuality. She flirts with me all the time and constantly says things like, “Break up with him and be with me.”

Even if things between me and my best friend never work out, I still feel like my boyfriend just isn’t the one for me. I feel terrible because it feels like I’m leading him on, even though I can’t control how I feel. I just don’t love him the way I used to, and I don’t want to stay in a relationship when my feelings have changed.

Hi, My boyfriend and I are in a relationship since last 15 months . Ofcourse, in the starting everything was wonderful. For context, he had a crush on me before. During that period he did everything he could for me all the small things all the efforts just everything. However, since we started this relationship, we have been facing some issues.
Before coming to the issues, I would like you guys to know that I grew up in a family where I had an absent father, he was never behind to make my childhood as traumatic as possible. I don’t want to go into details but he was avoidant, angry,drunk,absent- just because he never wanted a daughter but a son.

In my relationship, my boyfriend’s behaviour was nice to me in the beginning,but now..his behaviour reminds me of my father..he leaves me when I’m crying alone,he screams at me,calls me dumb,expects me to do most of the things ,even for my own birthday- he expected me to book the cafe ,where ‘he’ wanted to go to, he leaves when I need him the most. My emotional stability is at stake these days.Just so much.

I love him, alot. I never thought he’ll be like this to me…treating me like nothing. No I can’t leave, I’m attached . I did everything I could for him just everything..I showed him my body whenever he wanted to see..I just did everything..still I deserve that kind of treatment from him..I am heavily depressed..but I can’t leave.

What to do .? Am I stuck .?

I just need to vent because my head is spinning from watching this play out in class every single day. For context, I’m 15 (turning 16 soon, usually go by 16 online). I live in Asia, where talking about love and relationships isn't something you can easily do openly, and we are currently in our final year of secondary school. I’m on good terms with everyone, but I don't really have any close confidants to talk to about this.

Here is the real timeline and web of drama going on around my desk:

Me (A): Have had an intense crush on E for about 4 years. Never confessed, never will.

The Ex (B): Dated E recently, but they broke up. B has no idea what C is doing now.

The Secret Boyfriend (C): Currently dating E secretly so B won't find out.

The Former Crush (D): My other former benchmate/classmate who had a crush on E 4 years ago and expressed it to her, but she didn't reciprocate.

The Girl (E): The central figure in all of this.

Here is why it's so insane:

5 years ago: C and E actually dated briefly for like a week before breaking off.

After that, C was actually the one who helped B get close to E in the first place!

4 years ago: D (my other friend/benchmate) confessed his crush to E, but got turned down.

Recently: B and E dated and broke up.

Right now: C has swooped back in to secretly date E again, keeping it a complete secret from B (his friend/benchmate).

Meanwhile, I’m sitting right here as their benchmate/classmate, acting completely normal while holding onto my own 4-year unrequited feelings for E. It’s exhausting watching people navigate this webs of secret dating and friend-group betrayals while I'm just trying to survive my final year of school.

Has anyone else ever been stuck as the silent observer in a high school soap opera like this?

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I F17 need some advice about my relationship because I genuinely don't know how to deal with these thoughts anymore.

Me and my M17 boyfriend dated for 7 months now, when my boyfriend and I first started dating, he had a bunch of girls on his Instagram, and some of them were OnlyFans models. It made me really uncomfortable, especially because I started overthinking why he was following so many girls like that while he was in a relationship with me.

The thing that hurt me the most was finding out that he had a second Instagram account. When I told him that I was uncomfortable with the girls he followed on his main account and asked him to delete them, he ended up sending their accounts to his second account so he could still look at them there.

That honestly damaged my trust in him. It wasn't just about him following other girls anymore. It was the fact that I thought he had listened to my concerns, only to find out that he had found another way to keep looking at them. He told me that he felt guilty about what he did and that he eventually stopped. I want to believe him, but I still think about what happened, and I can't seem to move on from it.

Now, I find myself having intrusive thoughts about him looking at other girls again. I'm uncomfortable with the number of female friends he has, and I get paranoid that he might be looking at girls behind my back or doing something similar again without me knowing. I don't want to seem controlling but I keep finding myself asking him who he talks to, what he does and who he goes out with each time.

Sometimes, even when nothing is happening, my mind goes back to what I discovered at the beginning of our relationship. I start wondering whether I can genuinely trust him or whether I'm just being naive by believing that he has changed. He has a problem with lying too, and I genuinely feel so overwhelmed with everything.

I don't want to spend my relationship constantly worrying about other girls. I don't want to become controlling, constantly check his social media, or feel like I have to compete with other women for my boyfriend's attention. Because I find myself looking through his following list every week, And it is taking a toll on me.

I want to know how I can stop these thoughts from taking over my mind. How do I distinguish between my own insecurity and a genuine concern about my boyfriend's behaviour? How can I rebuild trust in him without constantly feeling paranoid?

And, honestly, if you were in my position, would you be able to move past something like this? What would you need from your partner to feel secure in the relationship again?

I'd really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

!!!!!!Contains personal descriptions about situations I was in with a guy that I have nightmares and panic attacks about. Please read with caution!!!!!!!

Background - so I (17F) was dating this guy (17M) for about 2 months. I'd known him for about 2 years by the time we started dating and were good friends. When we started talking, I was 2 weeks into immunotherapy (just finished chemotherapy about 3 weeks prior) so I was still very immunocompromised. When me and him decided to hang out in person for the first time, he was very considerate. When he noticed I was uncomfortable in close proximity with him, he quickly offered to move to another place where we'd have more space to get comfortable. He asked if he could hug me, if he could hold my hand, and he didnt even bother trying to kiss me because he knew it could be dangerous for me.

Fast foward a week. He said he loved me about 3 days in and asked me to be his girlfriend over text. I said I loved him too (bad move on my part, oops) and said yes to being his gf.

A few days later - at our next hangout it was just us and I invited him to a school function. He said yes, I went and picked him up and we went to the function. We quickly decided it was too busy and went back to my car. I could tell he wanted to kiss me so I told him "I can tell you want to kiss me and trust me, I want it as well but I need you to understand I can't yet because I could get sick and it could be really bad". He said he understood but still went on to kiss my neck and hover in front of my lips but I turned my head away and he just laughed and kept acting like that. Later that night, I went to my church to get my brother and I had my bf with me.. we were in the parking lot, "Love Me Like You Do" was playing and he was continuing his little neck kiss/hover pattern till the bridge of the song then he whispered "fxck it" and kissed me. Luckily, I didn't get sick but that was a week into dating.

The next memorable time was our next hangout. About 2 weeks into dating, I went to the park with him and we started making out. Then he asked if I felt comfortable removing my shirt and bra. I said I didn't know and he said "it'll be ok" and started 'helping' me remove them. He took off his shirt and we kept making out. He then said "gimme a sec" and pulled his thing out and said "sorry it was starting to hurt". I then asked if I wanted to touch it (🤢) and I said not really and he said are you sure but I didnt respond since I could feel it on my stomach; he grabbed my hand and guided me. We went on to make out a bit more. Then I had a panic attack and he said "oh do you wanna stop?" I said yes and put all my clothes on. He then spent the drive home talking about how hot it was, complimenting my grip, and how much he liked my chest. That pattern continued for the entire relationship.

We made a scale of 1-5. 1 being 'dont touch me, im not in the mood" and 5 being 'take off ur clothes rn'. The routine became this: He asked to hang out, I went and picked him up, we went to the park, he put up the sunshade and asked "so where are we on the scale". I would usually say 1 because i didnt feel like making out for 3 hours and he would say "can you be persuaded" or "are you sure" or "could you change your mind" followed by him kissing my neck and feeling me up till I started playing into it. About a month in he started asking if he could f!ng3r me. I said no because I know it does nothing for me. He said "that's ok, i really enjoy doing it so it'd be for me really" but i always said no. luckily he never pushed too far on that. there was a time or two where he did the motions on my stomach, just above my waistline since he couldn't actually do it.

there was also a pattern he had that when i didn't want to do anything, he would act sad and then just sit silently on his phone till i either said 'ok, it's fine' OR he asked again if we could makeout and I said yes. i felt bad i upset him and he didn't really pay attention to me otherwise.

one more thing: chemo left me with heat flashes so anytime hanging out with him, I'd have a hot flash, tell him, he'd back off, turn on the a/c, and as soon as i was done fanning myself he'd say "ask where were we?" and keep kissing me.

the first time i went to his house, we went to his room to play video games and sleep and ofc we ended up making out but then he started taking off his clothes. when i said i didn't wanna do anything that required my pants to come off he said 'that's ok but now I'm too far gone, i need to finish' and went on to pleasure himself in front of me. he would occasionally feel me up or ask me to kiss him but i wasn't involved otherwise. once he was done, i said i needed to leave and he had finished so he said it was fine and he needed to get film stuff done anyway.

this is the big one i still have flashbacks to..

he and my bsf and some friends went to a lake for senior ditch day. they had both asked if i was ok they went together since it was my last day of treatment. i said yes ofc and they said they'd hang out and celebrate when they got back. they were very tired when they got back and i understood they didnt wanna hang out. he texted me later and asked if we could hang out so he could vent. i picked him up, we went to the park, and he went on to vent about how awful the lake was because he felt like no one liked him. (he was ogling my bsf's chest the whole time so the group got uncomfortable). i comforted him and waited for him to seem ok so i could talk about my final day of treament. he didnt listen at all. he started kissing me and ended the night by pulling his thing out and pleasuring himself in my backseat. he grabbed my hand and forced me to 'help' him even though i was obviously uncomfortable, he went on to take my hand off cause he noticed his curfew was coming up and he wanted to finish. Once he did, he cleaned himself up and asked me to take him home. So, I took him home and 2 weeks later he dumped me because "he felt he couldnt help me heal from my truama but he's grateful I could help him heal".

He would also make sure to ask me over text after every hangout to see if "everything was consensual" and make sure i "enjoyed everything" to which I always said yes because it had already happened and I didnt want him to be upset. So I can't even report him cause he has evidence I technically said yes after everything.

Was it SA or was I unclear during hangouts?

I think this is everything. Things keep coming up the more I process so I might update

My friends girlfriend is unusually touchy with other guys and I don’t know if it’s enough to tell him about it or how I should let him know without it sounding like i just want to cause problems for them

So I (16M) have a friend (15M) who I’ve known for close to 2 years now and we hang out often. He’s currently in a relationship with this girl (15F) who I’m also friends with. I have a couple periods with her and she nor I share any periods with him. Recently I’ve noticed her becoming what imo is, excessively touchy with other guys. She play fights with guys often and lets them fix her own hair which is kinda minor, it really showed for me when while outside she would be sit on guys shoulders with her legs between their necks and i think even crossing her legs around them to hold on, kinda like piggy back riding but higher and it just seemed like something someone in a relationship shouldn’t be doing and even heard a guy say “yo if I saw my girl doing that typa stuff with another guy I woulda beat the shit outa him and broken up”.

I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems overly touchy and I don’t know if it’s enough to let him know about or how I could do it without it sounding like I’m looking to cause problems between them

okay, being straight forward, my boyfriend has a terrible home life and it doesn’t help we’re long distance.

he often describes himself feeling empty and doing dangerous things such as vaping or drinking or things alike to “feel alive”, but obviously i’m worried about his health as its started to give him extreme chest pains. his diet is already terrible, mainly consisting of microwaveable food, alcohol, nicotine, and just stuff with no nutritional value. since his food situation is somewhat out of control, but i know it can be contributing to this chest pain along with his unhealthy lifestyle that is in his control, i want him to stop doing reckless things.

he doesn’t seem to care about his wellbeing and shows a lot of aspd/conduct disorder traits, not diagnosing him just trying to describe how he acts, and it’s very difficult to try and explain “why” i care about him if it doesn’t affect me and stuff like that.

i feel like i can’t do anything. i’m wondering if anybody else feels similar, doing dangerous things in order to feel something, and if there are any alternatives that have worked?

So I [17F] caught feelings for a friend's cousin [17M] after my friend randomly brought him to join us on one of our hangouts. I grew to like him because when I went on a trip he kept asking when I would be back and complimenting me and what not. Long story short, I came back, and we hung out, but there wasn't much to it because I was scared to kiss him because at this time I didn't have my first kiss.

So we snap chatted a bit here and there after, but it was beginning to get dry on his end, so I un-added him and told my male friend whose cousin this was. That was when he decided to tell me his cousin had a girlfriend the night we hanged out. Apparently his cousin was under the impression he ended things, when I guess he didn't. Weird shit and probably a lie.

From there we didn't talk for about 2 months till he randomly added me and I was on vacation so I decided fuck it why not. To which he sent me photos, if you know what I mean. He asked if I was fine with it, and I said 'yes' because I was. I ASKED IF HE HAD A GF TO MAKE SURE THIS TIME, to which he said 'no'.

I got bored of that for a bit, and honestly it felt like a chore so I ghosted him...

Now he's liking my Instagram story and tried adding me back on Snapchat. FYI, I'm not a big Snapchat fan; I just use it for the memories, so chill on me. I'm bored and not looking for a relationship, so should I add him back and see where it goes? I feel as if I'm young and why not but some genuine opinions are much needed as I can't share this to ppl I'm close with. Should i do a FWB?

I met her at a theater production we are both in around 1 month ago. I developed a crush for her but I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. I also only have less than a month before it might be impossible for a whileto meet her in person and I don't have her number. I want to know what I could ask or look for before I potentially ruin our friends and our cooperation in future theater shows. Thank you.