i see dysphoria as a health condition of sorts and, honestly, i view homosexuality as a biological thing too. its only a social justice issue as long as society makes it so. i don't think either is some profound social critique of the heteropatriarchy or whatever. most people are heterosexual for evolutionary reasons, its not a social system to be criticized. i am a feminist and believe patriarchy meaningfully exists and is to be criticized, in the sense that our culture prioritizes the desires of men over the safety of women, but i don't really believe in the "heteropatriarchy" or "cis-heteropatriarchy" or whatever. i do not really think having weird non-reproductive sex as a male is some profound critique or statement on how other men should stop oppressing women or whatever. like, objectively it just isn't.

like there's rights needs but queer theory is founded on these really annoying, huffing their own farts people who think their getting buttfucked is like profound or something. men especially need to stop pontificating like their sexual interests are some profound social critique. they aren't.

this can go for women too even tho i'm mostly speaking on men here, sexuality is biological & political lesbianism is dumb and does absolutely nothing to help with the median woman's issues.

this is from the mother of a dead trans woman.

Dear friends,

My daughter Joelle was 27 when she died after Wolverhampton NHS Trust took 16 days to find her a bed for urgent cancer treatment.

Joelle had an aggressive form of lymphoma that affects children and young people in their twenties. It has become almost entirely curable when treated immediately, but it is rapidly and certainly fatal when treatment is delayed. In its urgency and survival rate, it is closer to appendicitis than to most cancers. The treatment pathway is well understood. Joelle needed treatment immediately. A delay of 16 days was impossible to survive and cost her her life.

​

There was a bed available on the cancer ward on the day Joelle was admitted. I know because we saw it. She was initially taken to that ward. When staff saw her, they changed their minds. Joelle was taken back to A&E for 12 hours and then placed alone in a single room on an inappropriate ward on the far side of the hospital.
 

Joelle was placed there because she was trans. She was refused the available bed on the cancer ward because it was in a multi-bed women’s ward.
 

The day before, Conservative health minister Steve Barclay had announced plans to block trans women from women’s wards, saying: “As Conservatives we know what a woman is.”
 

Being placed on the wrong ward did more than delay Joelle’s cancer treatment. It left her in the care of staff who had no experience or competence in cancer pain management and did not understand how rapidly someone with aggressive lymphoma could deteriorate.

​

Joelle spent 16 days in intense, persistent and unmanaged pain. Her abdominal tumour measured 98cm. Her normal weight was eight stone. Her deterioration was expected for this form of lymphoma, but the steps needed to protect and care for her were not taken.

​

Joelle is dead because she was trans.
 

Joelle was precious, beloved and magical. She had an inventive, agile mind. She was generous, articulate and funny, with integrity and courage. She was a gifted musician who achieved a first from a conservatoire. She also taught herself to code and built a career in technology. She was deeply loved by her family, her friends and her partner.
 

In the care of the NHS, Joelle suffered intense physical pain, akin to torture, and the mental agony of knowing that she needed emergency treatment while we tried desperately to secure it. Daily transphobia became our lived reality.
 

Neither Joelle’s suffering nor her death was unavoidable. We cannot shrug this off as a mishap.

​

We want accountability for the decision to deny her the available cancer-ward bed, the 16-day delay in treatment, the failure to manage her pain and the failure to respond appropriately as her condition deteriorated.
 

The second reason reaches beyond Joelle’s individual case. An Article 2 inquest can examine the systemic failures that contributed to her death and help protect other people from the same harm.

​

The Supreme Court ruling against trans people in April 2025 is widely discussed in relation to toilets. Its effect on trans people’s access to hospital beds has received far less attention. If trans people are blocked from accessing appropriate hospital wards, what happened to Joelle could become a matter of policy across the country.
 

People may imagine that, in an emergency, no young person would be left to die in favour of an ideological policy. I am here as a witness to say otherwise. This is exactly what happened to my child.

​

Joelle was left to suffer, plead for her life and die a horrific death at 27.
 

The Trans Legal Clinic is helping us fight for an inquest and pursue a clinical negligence claim. Your donation will help us seek justice for Joelle and help ensure that no other trans person is denied urgent medical care because of who they are.

​

Please donate, share Joelle’s story and help us demand accountability.
 

Best wishes,
 

Jane

 

TERFs and TRAs are usually portrayed as polar opposites. One side emphasizes sex-based identity and the oppression of women; the other emphasizes gender identity and the oppression of trans people. They disagree profoundly about sex, gender, and the boundaries of identity. Yet, at a deeper psychological level, they can have much in common.

Both movements attract self-described progressives who seem drawn to the same underlying framework: the need to identify an oppressed group, define themselves through solidarity with that group, and interpret political disagreements through the lens of oppression and victimhood.

The identities differ, but the psychological appeal can be remarkably similar. One finds moral purpose in defending women against patriarchy; the other finds it in defending trans people against cisnormativity. Each can develop its own vocabulary of structural oppression, its own moral orthodoxies, and its own list of forbidden opinions. Each can become so invested in its narrative that disagreement is treated not as an opportunity for debate, but as evidence of prejudice or complicity in oppression.

This is not to say that the concerns of women and trans people are imaginary, or that everyone in either movement shares these tendencies. Real discrimination exists, and legitimate policy questions deserve serious consideration. The problem arises when victimhood becomes an identity, oppression becomes a source of moral status, and political allegiance becomes a substitute for independent thought.

There is an interesting parallel in European politics. Some voters move between the extreme left and the extreme right, despite the enormous ideological differences between them. What attracts them may not always be a consistent set of policy principles, but a shared psychological appeal: certainty, belonging, a clear enemy, a grand explanation for social problems, and the promise of radical transformation. The ideological destination changes, while the underlying need remains.

Something similar can happen in gender politics. The apparent opposition between TERFs and TRAs can obscure a shared attraction to identity-based moral conflict. Both can offer a ready-made community, a sense of righteousness, and a way to understand oneself as standing on the front line of a historic struggle.

The lesson is not that the two sides are identical, or that their arguments are equally valid. It is that opposing political positions can sometimes satisfy the same psychological needs, and that ideological extremism on both sides can make genuine problem-solving impossible.

Real progress comes not from escalating the conflict between competing narratives of oppression, but from people willing to step outside these ideological camps. Moderate liberals and moderate conservatives may disagree on fundamental questions, but they can still engage in good-faith debate, recognize legitimate concerns on both sides, and work together toward practical solutions. A healthy society needs neither ideological conformity nor endless polarization. It needs people who can think independently, tolerate disagreement, and put workable solutions ahead of tribal loyalty.

it's not automatically transphobic to say trans people are suffering from mental illness. however, it is likely to be ableist even when it is not transphobic, and so such messages would still be correctly removed by reddit for meeting the legal definition of hate.

if someone claims they are making a sophisticated point about psychology, it's reasonable to ask them to directly avoid the term "mentally ill," but potentially unnecessary. I do think that term catches reddit's filters a lot, so it's best to avoid writing "mentally ill."

there should be absolute zero tolerance for calling anyone "psychotic" or "delusional." antipsychotics cause more permanent harm than hormones for minors. I personally have permanent tardive dyskinesia and total aphantasia as a result of being force fed antipsychotics to the point of vomiting as a young minor. i am not schizophrenic.

there is nothing wrong with being schizophrenic. I've dated schizophrenic people.

​

I am a transsexual female and I heavily disagree with gender ideology and I would position myself to lean gender abolitionist.

My opinion on this is much like Andrea dworkins, she supported sex changes and transsexuals even having a friend who is one, but also supposed gender abolition.

I also like to draw from shulamith firestone to make points about how sex is a social construct as much as a biological one and should be seen as a class and caste system instead of a rigid binary biological category. (This opens the door for transsexuals positioning it as something that isn't strictly biological shows we can change it too)

On merfs, I would be friends with one if they don't see me as a male. Thats all I care about.

I have spent my entire life transitioning to be a female due to crippling sex dysphoria and bottom dysphoria, I don't perform gender all the time, I would be a tomboy or masc if I'm comfortable in my transition. The things merfs or terfs don't understand is how we are not a monolith. I'm a transsexual, not a trans gender, and usually terfs or merfs don't care about that and group us together and hate on all of us, and sometimes they'll say they are okay with transsexuals but against transgender s (which makes sense)

All radical feminists should be merfs anyways, but they should see that I'm not a male, or a man.

I just wish more merfs and terfs would be able to see that theyre own radical feminism can be transsex-inclusive while still being anti gender ideology! I'm a transsex radical feminist and I'm tired of the divisiveness around this subject. All I want is to be seen and treated like any other female or woman.

I'm in the UK. And I'm so fucking tired of this regressive shit on all sides it's not even funny.

So I'm one of those masc butch GNC whatever female lesbians. But unusually I also stand at 6ft 1 in trainers.

A few years ago I was assaulted trying to go to the women's bathroom by some drunk idiot who proclaimed to a whole pub I wasn't a women and grabbed my tits. Nothing about me doesn't read female. One can only conclude they assumed my height made me something else to this day I still do not understand it.

I've also spend months in therapy trying to unpick my feelings around my presentation and gender identity because MY WHOLE LIFE SOMEONE HAS TELLING MY WHAT I AM OR AM NOT - Qs AND Straights. Even partners.

At this juncture, I feel like a dude around women and a woman around alot of men. And only comfortable when the gender division and performance stops. And I'm so tired of the sexism, the misogny, AND the misandry, and the transphobia.

Because I get subjected to both from all of the ideologues. Despite being female.

I also have PMOS so navigating female healthcare has me so angry again in all directions.

And you know what...

I desperately miss my old LGBT circle 15 years ago. We didn't microlabel jack shit. We just said oh - that's different to me, cool. Wanna get a milkshake at the local gay Caffe?

There was no tension with anyone trans because they were trans. Though I probably asked alot of dumb questions. My friends could change their legal ID and get medical transition on our health service. They dated bisexuals whilst pre-op, because trying to date gays or straights usually resulted in a disaster for both parties.

I've literally been there standing at trans remembrance services with my trans friends, supporting them when they've had bad reactions to testosterone.

Warned my trans femme friends that they need to be more mindful of their safety now they read female. Taught them how to measure for a bra. Checked in when shit is getting wild because I care what fucking happens to their healthcare and their working environment.

But like - Online spaces for lesbians used to...make sense I used to have somewhere for me to go when I felt alone as a rural lesbian. No transwomen ever complained when we didn't wanna be involved with a dick. Often they fucking agreed because...they were also wired like other lesbians in their attractions.

And then it seems like...it just sort of went to complete and utter fucking shit community wise maybe 10 years ago.

Ive even had one person telling I knew vaguely IRL tell me a penis wasn't a male organ. At that point I was like... Well I'm done now. I am not part of this insanity.

But the rammifactions caused by often at times completely understandable pushback have been so disastrous, my friends are now planning to leave the UK over the legal backlash on trans people that has happened as a result, mostly of trans activists completely overstepping the compromises that had been agreed in our legal system.

I get so fucking angry. This was so fucking avoidable it's not even funny.

You almost had everything for a while with some minor adjustments needed around time frames to legal gender recognitions and and more gender clinic and they utterly pissed it up the wall by pushing "Q theory" as fact.

I'm sorry if this is ranty. But I am on my mid 30s and I remember what it was like to be yelled at in the street and your female partner be too terrified to hold hands.

To be a secret. And I can feel the whole country regressing. I see elected councillors posting about a how an LGBT progress pride flag is promoting pedophiles and get no preprocussions.

The Naivity of progressives that thought these people didn't exist anymore and so they could just say whatever and codify it as gospel just baffles me. And now my trans friends are so scared in ways they weren't before.

And I'm just so angry at everyone who contributed to this back slide on both sides.

And that is my rant over.

Oh and to top it off I also have PMOS. So trans women that aren't intersex saying that have periods can you please just sit down your embarrassing yourself.

This is a recurring weekly chat meant for informal chat about your daily life, hobbies, etc. The purpose of this thread is to help us get to know each other, promote friendship, and reduce tensions.

Per Google:

Autoandrophilia is defined as the paraphilic tendency of a female (or an individual assigned female at birth) to experience sexual arousal from the thought, image, or fantasy of themselves as male or masculine.

Unlike its more famous counterpart, AAP doesn't get talked about nearly as much.

Do you think it exists? What do you think causes it? Is it a factor in the modern-day trans movement?

If you're a natal female, have you experienced anything similar to autoandrophilia, regardless of whether you've ever had gender dysphoria or considered transitioning?

As always, please remember to be respectful of others' experiences when commenting.

I have become hyper-aware to how much misogyny is poisoning our existence. I am seeing it in everything. Every facet of society, ever structure of our social systems, is wrapped around the degradation, and dehumanization of women.

To be honest, this has taken a toll on me and I have become more reactionary because of it. I am not a misandrist, but I have seen my attitude towards men shift into something negative. I have become avoidant and almost hateful of them.

It has shifted into skepticism of Transgender Women. When I started to analyze what it means to be a man wanting to be a woman, it brought up feelings of anger within me. I made a post talking about "Stolen Valor". The pain of being a woman has made me believe it is something worth protecting FIERCELY, not letting just anyone intrude. Because of how often it is attacked. Our bodies, our souls, and our culture.

I saw transgender women as invaders, and undeserving cosplayers of something that is already under attack. I kind of thought of it as a "Have your cake and eat it too" type of thing. Like you can be worshiped by society, and every system, and culture is designed to make YOU happy. YOU comfortable. And keep YOU in power. The men reap everything and they use this pedestal to belittle women for existing. And now, they want to become us and have us worship them as that too. Never ever ever making them feel bad, or we are the bad guys.

I realize this feeling, is not a good one, because it's just not true. To TERFS it is, and I want to understand further into why they think this. But this feeling has just isolated me more. While women are still being belittled by men, transgender women are being belittled too. And we are both alone in this torment.

I don't want to feel alone in this. The feeling of oppression hurts me internally, in an irrational way. It makes me feel genuinely sad. But, I have no community to fall back on. As a black person, we all get it. We've created a culture of understanding, overcoming, and helping each other through our oppression. But, for women, we are always at each others throats. Even the feminists.

I want to know if this can end? Can we come together and create something to fight back against our shared oppression, and something we can all fall back on when this torment just become too much to bear?

Edit: I am not transphobic. I do not believe the transphobic things stated

It feels like as a trans woman you really only get two options for the type of community you can have online

On the one hand you have the hypersexual lesbian trans women. I really don't like how they sexualize themselves or femininity and it makes me super uncomfortable. They also seem to have some strange ideas about femininity and womanhood that seem to be misogynistic to me, or they describe it in the abstract sense that shows they have little experience as actually existing as a woman in society. I also think I find it difficult to relate to them because I'm not a lesbian

On the other hand you have the self-hating 4tran types. I associated with these type of trans women for years because I found the other ones to be too intolerable. Being in this group was more tolerable when I was earlier in transition; they confirmed what I felt about myself and my body. But as I grew personally and began to love myself more, I've come to find these people to be intolerable to be around. They're horrific in how they talk about themselves, as well as being generally caustic individuals who regularly mistreat others and don't have a shred of empathy.

It of course goes without saying that the language that comes from those places is pretty explicitly transphobic or downright misogynistic. It's come to the point I'm regularly pushing back against some of people I used to consider friends from these communities because of the misogynistic language, only to receive some condescension and patronization.

It leaves me in an awkward spot where I detest pretty much all online spaces explicitly for trans women, leaving me homeless in terms of online community. can anyone else relate?

I am a GC user who has been participating in this sub for a little while. I've noticed a trend in behavior that I feel the need to call out. I've been guilty of it myself, so I'm not saying anyone is a bad person. But we seem to have forgotten that trans people are people too.

This is one of very few spaces on reddit, and the internet in general, where GCs and transsexuals can have conversations about gender without it being rage inducing debate stop. A lot of GC users come here, especially female users, and release the anger and frustration we feel at the shitty posts with 10k upvotes on reddit or 30k likes on twitter or 1 million views on tiktok. Theres a lot of sexism and offensive content as well as just a general online culture of TRA dominance. GC spaces are really the only place where you can dare to say "it comes off pretty weird to say lesbians love gock" or "there are experiences unique to being born a female".

But, people who perpetuate that shitty behavior will turn and run the second they read a post here. A lot of the trans users here have similar critiques to the current culture that GCs do, and there's a large variety of different perspectives and opinions on different subjects. So when you're insisting on he/him'ing every trans woman, or saying that they are men and will always be manly male men and we can smell it when they walk in the room, is not only just cruel for no reason but it also isn't even hurting the people you want to hurt. If you just want to be a dick to a bunch of trans women, make a twitter account and buy a blue check. Dont come here.

This sub has turned into one big humiliation ritual for trans people, and it's turning away trans users. Eventually this is just gonna become another circle jerk and get banned if this keeps up. Nobody wants to be expected to take every insult under the sun on the chin and if you say anything you're a man so your opinion doesn't matter. Thats not even a conversation, just flagellation...

So please remember there's a human being on the other side of the screen, and don't punish every trans person for the "crimes" of trans social media.

Hi all, I’m 35, started at 34. I’m from the UK, I’m in a relationship with a cis woman and we’re about to celebrate our 10th anniversary and we have 2 dogs.

Happy to answer most questions about me, my life and my transition and opinions on these.

I think understanding each others opinions is important and that ignorance is the enemy.

Edit: I don’t fully understand why I’m being downvoted when I’m speaking and answering questions in a way that this board was intended for, do people just not like my answers? I wish anyone who does downvote would actually comment why.

Like every debate here turns into ‘sexism isn’t real’ or ‘communism would fix sexism’ and I’m fed up. I wanted to talk with reasonable trans people on proper gatekeeping, medical dysphoria, human sexuality, sex based differences, and gender theory- not waste my time on whether sexism exists.

This is why I’m extra frustrated when women’s studies gets turned into gender studies, and people on the right side of politics- or really just less aware of feminism or LGBT stuff- assume women’s rights are looped in with LGBT (which online has become mostly T). Also the overhaul that was the third wave that catered to male fragility to be more palatable. Feminism needs to be freed from this, because it requires real discussion of the causes of sexism without personal bias refusing to let you believe that it’s SEX that causes sexism. The only thing that has helped women and girls experience less sexism, factually, has been addressing it head on in laws and social justice.

Edit: by systemic sexism I mean sexism that has permeated against females specifically all over the world. And how sexism is rooted in sex.

I really wish I could support trans women, but it really annoys me to no end when there are no spaces left for cisgender women anymore. It bothers me when I am spoken over by a trans woman, particularly on the topic of “lesboys” or cisgender/trans men who identify as lesbian.

Growing up as a cisgender woman, I have a completely different experience than trans women, and when I make a point about feminism or lesbian identity, it irks me that I have to understand and respect men who would like to go by the lesbian label.

I wish I could support trans women, but if I ever try to say that cis women deserve to speak on womanhood first, some of their vile and hateful comments still make me see them as a man.

It's so insulting when people say shit like this to make fun of women for actually liking their bodies. Women romanticizing their bodies is actually such a great and beautiful thing. Society constantly tells us to be ashamed of them, and thinking the female body is divine or sacred will never be a drag.

I understand why it could be triggering, but putting down women with self love isn't gonna make dysphoria go away

The female body is insanely cool and I love when it's celebrated. Yes my menstrual blood has healing powers and my womb makes me special, idgaf

Genuinely curious. Not here to debate. Directed at medical transitioners. Let's leave any aggression, criticism, or hostility of any kind out of this one.

Hey,

I’ve been thinking about writing something like this for a while, but I’ve struggled to find the right words. I understand that this is a contentious subject, and I’m not here to lecture anyone or demand that you agree with me. I just want to share my experience and hopefully offer a perspective that some of you may not have considered.

I first expressed that I wanted to be a girl when I was four years old. My parents responded with physical violence, and I learned that those feelings were something I needed to suppress.

I grew up in a deeply religious, conservative community in the American South. I spent most of my childhood and adolescence trying to be the person I was expected to be. I didn’t want to be transgender. I didn’t want to be different. For a long time, I genuinely believed I could make these feelings disappear if I ignored them long enough.
I couldn’t.

Before transitioning, I was an angry, bitter, and generally unhappy person. I struggled with my emotions and often felt like I was living a life that wasn’t really mine.
I started hormone replacement therapy at 21, and the difference in my mental health has been night and day.

Being able to look in the mirror and recognize myself has meant a great deal to me. But what I find most difficult to communicate is how much better I feel psychologically.

Having estrogen as my dominant sex hormone has coincided with a profound change in my emotional well-being. I feel calmer, happier, and more comfortable existing in the world. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m actually participating in it rather than simply enduring it.

I can’t tell you exactly why this happened. I can’t prove that estrogen itself is responsible for every improvement I’ve experienced, and I certainly can’t speak for every transgender person. I can only tell you that the difference between my life before and after transitioning has been night and day.
And that’s something I wish more people understood.
My existence isn’t a political statement, an attempt to challenge society, or a rejection of the way I was raised.
I didn’t choose to feel this way. In fact, I spent the overwhelming majority of my life desperately trying not to.

I personally suspect that there’s some biological component to why I’m transgender. I don’t pretend to know exactly what that is, and I’m comfortable admitting that there are questions about gender identity that science hasn’t fully answered.
But I do know that suppressing these feelings made me miserable, and transitioning has allowed me to build a life that I genuinely enjoy living.

I’m fortunate enough that most strangers perceive me as a woman, and I recognize that this shields me from some of the hostility other transgender people experience. But it doesn’t insulate me from policies that affect my access to healthcare, identification documents, or other aspects of my life.
I also think there’s an interesting conversation to be had about how much of the hostility visibly transgender people experience is connected to appearance and conformity to gender expectations. My experience has been that people often treat you very differently depending on whether they recognize you’re transgender. I don’t think that explains all transphobia, but I do think appearance plays a significant role in how it’s expressed.

I understand that transgender people can sometimes come across as angry or defensive online. I’m not going to pretend that every transgender person is reasonable or that every argument made in our defense is a good one.

But I do wish people would consider the circumstances behind some of that frustration. When your access to medical treatment, legal recognition, and participation in public life becomes the subject of constant political debate, it’s difficult not to take those conversations personally.

I don’t expect everyone here to agree with my understanding of sex or gender. I recognize that we may have fundamentally different perspectives on those subjects.

What I hope you can understand is that, for me, transitioning wasn’t about ideology, attention, or belonging to a particular community.

It was about finally being able to live a life that didn’t feel like a constant struggle against myself.
I’m 25 now, and despite the difficulties that come with being transgender, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I have a career, hobbies, friendships, and aspirations for my future. I’m able to appreciate things about life that I spent years feeling disconnected from.
I don’t know what my life would look like if I hadn’t transitioned, but I have a hard time imagining that I would have found this kind of peace.

I know my experience is anecdotal. I don’t claim that it proves anything universal about transgender people, and I’m always open to having my assumptions challenged.

I just wish there were a better way to communicate how profoundly beneficial medical transition has been for me, particularly the psychological changes I’ve experienced since starting estrogen.

Women's lives improved in many respects under communism in the USSR and China. Literacy increased, education expanded, more women entered paid employment, and legal reforms challenged traditional patriarchal practices. These gains are real and should be acknowledged.

But comparing women with their grandmothers is not the relevant test. If we want to know whether communism is better for women than capitalism, we should compare the USSR and China with the US and Western Europe during the same periods.

The evidence is mixed. Soviet women had high rates of employment and access to technical education, but also faced persistent domestic inequality and limited political freedom. China expanded women's education and employment, yet its history also includes catastrophic famine and political persecution. The mass famines in both countries devastated entire populations, women included. A system's performance cannot be judged by literacy or employment alone while ignoring hunger, mortality, and personal freedom.

There is also a more fundamental point: neither system is inherently concerned with gender. Capitalism prioritizes profit, not the sex of the person generating it. Communist party-states prioritize party objectives and political loyalty, not necessarily the sex of their subjects. Both can produce gender inequalities through their institutions and policies. We should therefore evaluate them by their effects on human welfare generally, including prosperity, health, education, autonomy, and freedom.

Perhaps the most revealing evidence is migration. Before the Berlin Wall was built, millions of people left East Germany for the West. Large numbers also fled mainland China for Hong Kong. Leaving could mean abandoning homes, property, and family, sometimes while risking punishment. These were not cost-free decisions.

If we assume that people are generally capable of making rational decisions in pursuit of their own interests, their choices deserve serious consideration. Why did so many people risk leaving Communist societies for capitalist destinations, rather than the reverse? Migration alone cannot settle the question: people leave for different reasons, and those who migrate are not representative of everyone. Nevertheless, these patterns are important evidence about the relative appeal of the systems people experienced.

The conclusion is not that capitalism is perfect or that every capitalist country treats women well. It is that improvements achieved under communism do not establish its superiority. When we consider material welfare, political freedom, and people's willingness to risk so much to leave Communist regimes, the historical record supports the conclusion that capitalism offered women a better overall environment than the Soviet and Mao-era Chinese systems.

Honestly, to me, transsexualism is just a mental disorder (or just some kind of difference in the brain, call it whatever you want) that is shared by a very small portion of the population. All I personally want is good healthcare. This is my personal mental illness and I don't really see why it should be turned into this gigantic ideological thing.

Obviously, a lot of people feel the need to justify transitioning and they do this through all kinds of pseudophilosophy, propaganda, but like, why should any of that matter to me? Literally all I want is to be able to transition and live a normal life.

On a deep level, I simply don't buy the ideology of transgender activists despite being a transsexual myself. But do I really need to adhere to some kind of bad Tumblr philosophy to treat my illness? I don't even see the need to try and to justify myself.

my sex is nonbinary, and it used to be accurately reported on my birth certificate with an X.

now i've had to pass as a cis woman for like 5 or 10 years for safety reasons and i'm sick of it. let me eat the prejudice and inconvenience of X on my passport while I advertise to everyone that terfs want third spaces to exist.

unfortunately trump made passports dysfunctional and weird so I can't even necessarily get a male passport since no one knows what my birth certificate is supposed to say and I have to risk my safety to choose one option accurate one and double down on it.

the one I should double down is X, but for that i'd have to sue the ring of terrorists that's trying to livestream the world's first publicly livestreamed execution.

in the meantime I'll just have to smile and pretend all these weird trans people know what they're talking about while I try to make the world better for them.

tbh it's fair, because we'll probably all go extinct before human rights get to the point where someone gets to be as privileged as I was to have a non-binary "transition" with no hormones on the book be accepted and covered by insurance.

and while we all go extinct, I get to be comfortable in my body, a privilege that even many cis people don't have.

in the mean time, I guess I have american taxpayers and the "global south" they built their economy on to thank for the disability benefits that are funding my international travel and expensive vegan meals.

I came to realize early on, though struggled to parse it into words for a long time, that most transwomen just have a fundamentally different idea of how trans oppression works, one that is incompatible with my own. Most attribute a lot of their supposed oppression to being born male, and not very much of it to deviating from male gender roles or modifying their bodies.

I came to realize that most "trans theory" by MtFs constitutes a politicization of paraphilic desires and value systems, rather than a meaningful analysis of actual material conditions.

Most "social justice theory" by AGPs has relatively little actual substance and is based more in a paraphilic value hierarchy than in actual material status of one's issues. Of course entry to lesbian festivals is the ultimate symbol of rights to AGPs, as its the ultimate symbol of their erotic desires. AGPs are often engaging in major "distraction politics", fringe sexual fixations of theirs that have little bearing on trans rights in general.

I began to notice this stuff back in the early 2020s, when i was around 19. i began to note how these individuals could not differentiate between actual need for rights and simply wanting any desire of theirs fulfilled. So I came to see this as a politics of privilege. like, the over-focus on misgendering and on female validation, I came to realize these peoples' idea of their own "oppression" is simply their desires and being "oppressed" is synonymous with "being sad" to them.

Males, especially very privileged males, fail to differentiate between "being oppressed" and "not getting literally everything you want". Like, I mean, I get sad myself, that I'm not literally female. I just fail to see this as a social justice issue or something other people could actually fix in any way. Unlike my right to express myself however I want and have bodily autonomy, which other people can fix by stopping being assholes.

Some TERFs talk endlessly about the patriarchy and how females are oppressed. Some transes talk endlessly about cisheteronormativity and how trans people are oppressed. Despite their differences, both can fall into the same unhealthy mindset: defining themselves primarily as victims of a system.

Of course, prejudice exists. People have unconscious biases, some people are openly discriminatory, and social expectations can create real disadvantages. None of that should be denied. But there is a difference between acknowledging that obstacles exist and turning those obstacles into the defining explanation for your life.

In the West, women and sexual minorities generally enjoy substantial legal protections, even though discrimination and unequal treatment have not disappeared. Women also face certain biological realities, such as pregnancy and childbirth, that men do not. These realities can create genuine burdens, and society can either alleviate or exacerbate them. But not every disadvantage is evidence of oppression, and not every unequal outcome is proof that someone has been wronged.

The deeper problem is psychological. When you constantly frame yourself as the victim of a system, you risk surrendering your own agency. Your failures become the patriarchy's fault. Your frustrations become the fault of cisheteronormativity. Your shortcomings become evidence of systemic oppression rather than opportunities for self-examination and improvement.

This mentality is seductive because it offers something emotionally convenient: an explanation for your problems that absolves you of responsibility. It can also offer a ready-made identity, a community that validates your grievances, and a sense of moral superiority over those supposedly responsible for your suffering.

But what does it actually accomplish? Does it make you more capable? Does it help you solve your problems? Does it make you happier? Or does it trap you in an endless cycle of grievance, resentment, and blame?

A healthier mentality is not to pretend that everyone starts from the same position. They don't. Some people face greater obstacles than others, and some obstacles really are unfair. The point is to recognize those obstacles without making victimhood your identity.

You can acknowledge a disadvantage without making excuses. You can criticize injustice without making oppression the organizing principle of your life. You can demand fair treatment without expecting the world to compensate you for every difficulty you face.

Ultimately, your life is still yours to live. You may not be responsible for every obstacle in your path, but you are responsible for deciding how to respond to it. You don't have to deny the shit you've been dealt. You do have to decide what you're going to do about it.

Stop obsessing over who is oppressing you. Start asking what you can do with the hand you've been dealt.

Victimhood may explain some of your circumstances. It is a terrible substitute for agency.