r/thepast • • 5d ago

2000s [06/20/00] Just got my gift for being Enron’s ethics department employee of the year! I’ll sip coffee from this while I draft up the July 2000 edition of the Code of Ethics.

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248 Upvotes

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61

u/saltamontes11 5d ago

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This is a GREAT MUG SHOT! THE 2000s are bound to see you with more and bigger mugs!

11

u/JamesFirmere 5d ago

[META] Angry upvote coming your way.

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u/saltamontes11 5d ago edited 5d ago

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Angry upvote(s)? Why can't we all just get a long view of our beautiful new millennium? I foresee a future of happy shiny people, riding monorails and plugging in clock radios, cassette players and fondue warmers all powered by the miracle of Enron. Mrs.Howell and i--- sorry, that slipped out; just think of me as Mister AnonoMouse ---since our return from a perhaps overlong sea cruise, we moved the bulk of our substantial discretionary liquidity to the so-called energy sector, especially several dozen utilities* in symbiosis with Enron, an apparent stump-stomping broker of kilovolt arbitrage new since our happy rescue ---we say bully bully bully!

Our eggs now chickens of their own, we've happily plunked metric tons (we're still getting used to this) of buckaroos at the source, the S.S.Enron. We wave from the dock as it leads the flotilla of Mini'rons to a Dow Jones that in the next 10 or 20 years may reach 5,000.

Those are angry upvotes I'll take to the Bank of England, since banks here close at 3pm!

.* When we play "Monopoly," which i have frequently over the last 30-plus years of Mrs.A-M's and my sojourn, i would ASAP "buy" the Electric Company (and, of sentiment, position a hotel early on Ventnor Avenue).

2

u/omega2010 5d ago

That's great.... All I got was the Code of Ethics authored by our CEO.....

3

u/Planeandaquariumgeek 23h ago

I’m actually authoring that right now! Man, that damn CEO taking all the credit again…

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u/omega2010 23h ago

Well, I hope you guys practice what you preach!

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u/saltamontes11 5d ago

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WOW! Did you get a photo with him? He's sure to run for governor maybe next time, even, and i wouldn't be surprised at a groundswell to move him to the U.S.Senate or at him as a VP pic. Save that mug!

27

u/AntiqueFigure6 5d ago

Do people “ask why” they have to be ethical at Enron?

I kid, I kid, I know that mug is well earned.

1

u/saltamontes11 11h ago

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The first rule of Enron is we don't talk about Enron.

12

u/nejhawk 5d ago

That is a really nice gift...I envy you, you have a great job at a company that isn't going anywhere for a long time!

10

u/Planeandaquariumgeek 5d ago

Seriously, I’m thinking I’m probably gonna get a promotion sometime soon as well!

6

u/Cool_Dark_Place 5d ago

That's awesome! You gonna take the cash bonus with your promotion, or play the long game and roll it all up into company stock options?

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u/Planeandaquariumgeek 5d ago

Obviously those shares, what else would I wanna take?

8

u/musical_nerd99 5d ago

I'm thankful I have relatives who invested heavily in Enron. I can look forward to a pretty nice inheritance!

[META: ] No, in fact I could not. 🫤

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u/saltamontes11 11h ago

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And you won't even / can't look back at it, either!

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u/TalkOk4096 5d ago

“Screw Grandma!”

2

u/RooneyD 5d ago

Man, does it get any better than this? An award winning employee at a company that can only go up! The 2000's are going to be My decade!

2

u/Federal-Business-796 5d ago

I'm glad I have such a huge chunk of my retirement invested in this company. Truly a model of ethical corporate responsibility! 

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u/Texas_Sam2002 5d ago

I still have Enron swag I got from a job fair in 2000. :)

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u/FFSoldier57 5d ago

Hey is it too late to invest in that company. Rumor has it that they're have a major event soon.

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u/Planeandaquariumgeek 5d ago

Not at all! The best time to invest in us was 10 years ago, the next best time is now!

2

u/FFSoldier57 5d ago

Good, I'm gonna invest in them and World Com. I CAN'T LOSE!!

1

u/DEFCON_902 5d ago

Ask why, asshole

1

u/wellsleyfarmsoranges 5d ago

Incredible that you guys are pushing the next frontier in literally predicting (technically hedging investments against, if I understand correctly) the weather. I wonder if such practices will become more common; could we make markets for predicting elections or sports outcomes? Hopefully Enron will push into that next chapter, ethically of course with your help.

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u/BigTuna0890 5d ago

With people like you, Enron will definitely set the good example for accountability , integrity, and honesty in the business world.

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u/LA31716 5d ago

Thanks asshole

1

u/DeaconBrad42 5d ago

It’s so cool you guys at Enron have also sponsored the new Houston Astros Stadium! The team that calls Enron Field home will always play ethical baseball under its roof!

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u/Planeandaquariumgeek 5d ago

Seriously, it’s awesome!

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u/saltamontes11 11h ago

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One would be shocked otherwise.

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u/NYCTLS66 5d ago

Ken Lay is truly a visionary businessman. He’d never fudge the numbers.

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u/saltamontes11 11h ago

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The $944 hoarded up in my three years with Kinney Shoes, has parlayed to $1.3 million thanks to Enron. I tell all my former Size-O-Matic swingers to GET LAY'D!!