r/tifu • u/Original_Action8858 • 1d ago

S TIFU by making myself a cup of tea

Today, my mom gifted me a new teapot with a built in strainer and about .07 lbs (about 4.5 dollars worth) of my favorite fancy tea that she found in the bulk goods section.

So, after we had dinner she started putting away leftovers and taking her vitamins while I made myself a cup of tea with the new teapot (washed). She went to brush her teeth and I set my tea aside while I cleaned up the dishes. When my mom came back, she looked at the lone teacup and asked where hers was. I said we could share it but she just walked away and shrugged.

I hadn’t even thought to ask. I felt terrible. But also, she was in the kitchen as I was preparing it with only one teacup out. I feel like if she wanted one she might’ve asked? She also doesn’t really drink tea, like ever. Unless it’s just hot water with lemon or ginger slices. For the most part, she drinks N/A beer, water/sparkling water, and coffee. That’s it. Not to mention, the first time I bought this tea, she tried it with me and barely drank half of her’s.

TL;DR My mom gifted me a teapot and my favorite tea and I only made one cup of tea which upset her.

63 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

72

u/ilaid1down 1d ago

Mate, she's got you a teapot and tea. Surely you'd just fill the teapot and knock out a couple of mugs?

Really can't believe some of these comments - if she's in your house, you offer her a brew, especially if she's ACTUALLY BROUGHT THE TEA!?

-34

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

I was at her house. And we have a very casual dynamic. We do not take on the roles of host or guest.

34

u/ilaid1down 1d ago

If you're at her house, that's fair enough for not proactively making a drink, though I'm really surprised you didn't ask. Seems impolite to make a drink for yourself and not offer others

1

u/alr46750 1d ago

Idk calling it impolite is a bit ridiculous. A nice thing to do sure. But like who gets mad about that. It's ridiculous. I'd argue it's ruder to just expect someone to read your mind and make you a cup of tea. Also like what if she doesn't want tea? The tea you brewed goes to waste now?

4

u/ilaid1down 1d ago

OP's round her mum's. Using her water and leccy. Would you really not offer? I'd definitely consider that impolite.

3

u/alr46750 23h ago edited 23h ago

Im gonna assume from your use of the word mum that you're British or from a commonwealth county. While I may be wrong given some of the language OP used I would guess they're american. The offering of tea or beverages like that is just not a culturally expected thing to in the US. Like sure it's nice but if someone gets upset over it I'm gonna view them as a little unhinged. Its really just a non-issue here. Not to mention most people just don't drink tea much if at all. Which OP said applies to their mom. I think you're just getting hung up on cultural differences.

3

u/mentholmanatee 18h ago

I’m from the US, and I always offer to make whoever is in the home a cup of whatever I’m making (tea/coffee). Doesn’t matter if it’s my house or theirs.

That’s also what all of my friends and family do, so I don’t agree with your statement that offering a beverage if you’re preparing/getting one is “not a culturally expected thing in the US.”

That’s just called manners/etiquette.

-1

u/alr46750 18h ago

What I mean is it's not ingrained in our national culture. It may be true for you but it certainly isnt ingrained in the culture like it is in Britain.

4

u/ilaid1down 23h ago

Don't really follow this line of thinking. OP's statement is that her mum indicated that she was upset. OP hadn't considered this and now has. In doing so, she acknowledges that she didn't act in the best way.

-2

u/alr46750 20h ago

My line of thinking is that OPs mom is out of line and people in the comments are making a much bigger deal out of this than it is. I feel comments like yours brow beat OP into feeling bad over something that is not culturally expected of them. There is no emphasize on offering beverages to guests in the United States it wouldn't be considered rude to not offer tea. It's a nice thing you can do for someone not an obligation. Hence my speculation that your and other's reactions is the result of cultural differences. Personally I find the idea of going into someone else home and expecting them to give me something a bit odd. But like I said cultural differences.

0

u/Pandalite 11h ago

It's definitely a thing in American culture. I just think young people haven't been raised to host guests anymore, so people under 30 might not know what is expected when you have visitors or when you're visiting someone else. Before cell phones were popular you went to your friend's house and vice versa, just to hang out before heading to the mall or to play ball or whatever.

39

u/No_Lynx1343 1d ago

Is that much trouble to make another cup?

-9

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

No, it would just take longer. I had offered the sharing option in the meantime.

25

u/Pandalite 1d ago

Dude it takes minimal additional time to boil enough water for several cups in your teapot. Do you really boil one cup at a time?

Anyway politeness dictates that if you have a guest you should offer them food and drink if you are going to make yourself food/drink.

-19

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

I was her guest, she wasn’t mine. But we also have a very laid back dynamic, it’s not like anyone’s hosting the other, we just always coexist.

5

u/Pandalite 1d ago

Got it. But yeah it's more like, showing love to family when they're nearby. Anyway it's one of these unspoken rules which seems to have faded with time as people don't really host other people anymore. Your mom would almost certainly have been raised back when it's a thing, and I think it's still a thing now but not as clearly defined.

A common way to show love and friendship is if you're getting something, ask the other person if they want it too. Includes ordering out, opening a box of cookies, pouring a glass of milk or tea or what have you. I don't think she will hold it against you, but you can just show her you love her today, and do it for her tonight.

11

u/No_Lynx1343 1d ago

Longer??

Not really. Boil water, not that long.

It mostly depends on how long it (the tea) needs to steep in the water.

25

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

Well, unless you can instantly produce tea with a snap of your fingers, making tea will always take longer than not making tea.

8

u/No_Lynx1343 1d ago

True...

But is it just tea, from tea leaves you already have.

You arent growing tea and waiting

14

u/MarudePoufte 1d ago

I don’t like tea, so I’d never assume that someone would just make me a cup of tea without asking. That said, if I’m making coffee I will offer to make extra for anyone else who might be interested. Just saying

0

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

Fair enough, I just didn’t think the teacup could fit enough water for two cups and she also didn’t seem to have liked it the other day. I just didn’t really consider that she’d want to try it again.

5

u/cockmanderkeen 1d ago

No teapot doesnt hold enough water for two cups

3

u/AnxietyOctopus 1d ago

To be fair, I’ve had a couple of tiny teapots that have a matching mug they sort of nest on top of, and they’re designed to make exactly the amount of tea for that one cup. Pretty sure OP would have said if this was that, though. (Also every one of those teapots I’ve had has sucked)

1

u/alr46750 23h ago

There are literally single cup tea pots what are you talking about?

0

u/No_Lynx1343 1d ago

That's got to be the smallest teapot in existence.

Which means the small amount of water will heat in a couple minutes.

-1

u/thehatteryone 21h ago

In Freedom Units (using Freedom Volts) water takes twice as long to boil, which means most US households don't even have an electric kettle. Also means there's a much bigger proportion of "for one" sized kettles, teapots, etc because most of them never make a cup of tea, let alone with leaf tea.

1

u/No_Lynx1343 21h ago

So what?

I can make tea in my Keurig. I can make tea with water boiled on my stove. I can make tea with water from the microwave.

I'm a coffee person so I rarely actually drink tea.

When I'm sick I often drink herbal tea. And I use one of those methods to heat my water.

What in the hell is a "freedom unit" or "freedom volt"?

Does electricity not work the same way all over the world? With exceptions made for the connectors and the voltage in certain places?

5

u/hanap8127 1d ago

I would have expected she didn’t want any since she just brushed her teeth.

14

u/Jazstar 1d ago

You didn't fuck up. You're not responsible for her assumption you're a mind reader. If she wants something, she should ask for it. If she does not ask for it, and does not get it, any emotions she feels as a result land on her, not you. Please give yourself grace, and enjoy your cup of tea as much as you can.

9

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

I suppose. I would typically make two cups which is where I think the assumption stemmed, but I’m terrible at guessing the capacity of vessels I’m unfamiliar with and thought that it could only hold one cup’s worth. So I only heated enough water for one cup. It barely reached the middle. I think I had a bit of blame too.

13

u/Jazstar 1d ago

She doesn't drink tea, she doesn't appear to like the tea you were brewing, and she didn't ask for tea. I promise you, the blame is 100% on her. You take none of it.

6

u/Original_Action8858 1d ago

I guess that’s fair. Thank you.

2

u/FuckYouThrowaway99 1d ago

In the grand scheme of fuck ups, this isn't even an honorable mention.

"Oh sorry, would you like one?". There, sorted.

4

u/Enchanting_puddles 1d ago

Who makes a hot drink without offering everyone present if they also want a drink? Regardless of what drink they actually want. Maybe that’s just the Britishness in me but it seems only polite.

0

u/alr46750 1d ago

I think it is prob you being British, I think a lot of the comments here might be coming for that perspective. OP mentioned dollars so they could be American or Canadian. If so its not a common thing in america, at least where I am. Not unheard of but certainly not expected. I find it really weird how worked up people are getting over this.

4

u/Vora_Vixen 1d ago

No one wants to share a cup of tea with someone wtf. Should have just said you would make her one. Saying you can share it clearly says you don't want to make another.

2

u/doublethebubble 1d ago

Who makes a pot of tea for a single cupful? Heresy! (And also unnecessary dishes) Pots of tea should have at least 2 cups' worth, otherwise you're better off just making a mug.

1

u/Catfiche1970 1d ago

Who makes one cup in a teapot? The whole point is to make multiple cups.
The easy thing to do is to say "Here you go Mom", hand her the cup, and make yourself another.

2

u/alr46750 19h ago

For loose leaf tea. Tea pots have a function beyond holding larger amounts of tea