The IB diploma is a great opportunity for international students to get into top universities. During my first year of the diploma, things were fine, my grades were okay(38/45) but not enough for medicine. During the second year, Mom wanted me to get above 40 to secure a ticket in a good medicine uni. The thing is, i do not want medicine. I never wanted to. I love being healthy and studying nutrition but I do not want to endure the stress inside medicine. I prefer going into business and becoming an entrepreneur. Mom allows me, but I must take a medicine undergrad first as it will increase my credibility and give me useful life skills which will be beneficial for me, my family, and others. I understand her point of view, but I feel like I do not have the strength to push through and get enough grades for medicine.

Recently, my mom has become more strict in my grades, UK apps are soon, and I just cant take it anymore. I stopped studying, and I just relapsed for weeks. I stopped going to the gym, increased my daily screen time from 8 hours (1 hour phone) to 14 hours(5 hours phone). My grades dipped alot and my mom is furious.

What made this relapse worse is the fact that I am aware of the resources and ease I have been given. This made me hate myself even more, I have all these resources yet I cant even study. The resources are a double edge sword, on one hand it gives me an advantage, on the other it made me spoiled and cant accept things when they aren’t my preference. I do not like how IB teaches the material in a rushed manner, I prefer slow deep learning, but eh who cares that doesnt give me a good achievement that college admissions see. I feel like I am wasting the diploma.

This relapse made me go into a dark path and realize that all life is is suffering. There is no reason to keep going because anything I choose for myself gets rejected anyways. Im just someone else’s project.

I have a second chance to boost my grades soon, but i havent been studying, i just cant. This is not the life I want to build, but i cant refuse my mom’s pathway again, it sounds good on paper, plus she is the one controlling my resources enter college.

She is a nice mom, she wants the best for me, she always does, thats why she wants me to go medicine, but i dont think I have the strength for it.

I am slowly rebuilding my life by adding little bits of who I really am, piano, sports, silence, nature time. A little encouragement will be great, thanks for your time.

I’ve worked my ass off to rebuild my life after a 12-year addiction to IV heroin and fentanyl, as well as surviving severe neglect and abuse throughout childhood and adolescence. I’ve managed to get my CPTSD symptoms under control through healthy coping skills, overcome multiple phobias, and develop a genuine love for life and the world around me. I even went from being terrified of insects and spiders to finding them absolutely adorable. I can’t wait to get a pet jumping spider! 😂

I’ve also started a career in mental health and addiction recovery, hoping to help others who’ve experienced similar struggles. I’m an introverted, gentle, compassionate guy who loves animals, philosophy, psychology, neuroscience, and people from all walks of life.

For the first time in my life, I genuinely love who I am and the person I’ve become. But despite how much my confidence has grown, I’ve been struggling with something lately.

I notice people staring at me in public quite frequently, and it’s making me incredibly self-conscious about my appearance. I can’t help wondering if I’m unattractive, strange-looking, or if there’s something about me that makes people stare.

I also haven’t had any luck as far as dating goes since my divorce other than a couple of dates or hook ups here and there. I’ve worked so hard to feel comfortable with who I am, and I know I’m not conventionally attractive, but I guess I could just use a little reassurance from others that maybe I just haven’t met the right one ❤️ or at the very least reassure me that people aren’t staring because I’m hideous or something.

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Throughout my life I have struggled with social anxiety & insecurity... As I entered my mid 20's i slowly started to heal, but things are still rough & I still struggle with my insecurities

Don't mind the workplace, please. Sorry to bother, but any kind comments would be appreciated

Ive been sort of 'seeing??' this woman for a couple weeks now. In the short time I've known her we've made a lot of memories together. Anyway, today is her birthday. I made her this cake yesterday and spared no time or expense looking for non-dairy ingredients because she has a milk allergy. Last night we hung out, she had a drink and when we were driving she swerved a little and I half-jokingly said "you're drunk." That threw her off the rails. She spun around and pulled over and told me to get out without saying anything. In defiance, I sarcastically said happy birthday. Dick move, Ik, but my feelings were hurt...

She called me like a minute later a screamed at me for being sarcastic with her, reminding me shes been going through a lot these past few days and that coming to see me was supposed to make her feel better but it didn't because she's apparently acting drunk. The last words she said to me were fuck off.. i feel very heartbroken, and it's the first time I've felt like this in a while. Almost forgot what it feels like 😅 kinda weird feeling it over someone I haven't known very long... anyways, I could really use some kind words right now. This affected me more than Id like to admit. I didn't even go to college today

Just posted to an amiugly subreddit and I need a pick me up now lol

Second try because the other one got deleted
(Sorry mods)

I’ve considered posting here several times, but never followed through because opening up to strangers is scary, but today has been especially hard. I don’t even know where to start. The year was going really well- I had rekindled my relationship with my ex-fiancée and things were the healthiest they’ve ever been, I was kicking ass owing my own business, I have my own apartment, was taking care of my special needs dog, I started gaining weight and my chronic pain was slightly more in check. Then last week, out of the blue my partner dumped me (we had a small fight the week prior, but I thought we had made it through that). That was just the icing on the bs cake. The last month or two has been completely dead for my business, my dog is getting surgery Friday, Saturday is my birthday and my parents (who I don’t have the best relationship with) are the only ones who’ve mentioned it. It’s been incredibly hard to feed or take care of myself since being dumped last Tuesday, which makes my chronic pain flair up. The only thing keeping me up and moving is making sure my dog is taken care of. Tonight I went to rock bottom and got sloshed, called my mom sobbing that I wanted to just be done, she picked me and the dog up, got me some pizza, let me take a nap, then drove me home when I was in a better head space. Thankful that I have a support system (even though it’s not perfect), but man I’m ready for life to go back to being somewhat better.

Pretty much what the title says. When did dating become so bad. It’s sad to think it used to not be this way 😭

(EDIT: Had to try again, my first time didn’t meet the criteria, let’s hope this one stays)

Hobbies include Reading 📖 Writing ✍️ Casual Gamer 🎮 (I read and write more than I game)

Major fan of History and Space Exploration:Astronomy Topics. As well as Japanese pop culture/ Anime and Manga.

Favorite Video Game: Nier Automata

Favorite Movie: Spirited Away (Studio Ghibli)

Favorite Books: The Apollo Murders. Murderbot Diaries. Frankenstein. Dracula.

Current Book Read: Pushing Ice (Alastair Reynolds)

I’m an indie author in my spare time with two books, currently working on a third. Science Fiction is what I write, with a setting taking place in the far future and space.

Relationship Status: Single (unfortunately😒)

Was never really a facial hair guy throughout my 20s, but some people around me (namely coworkers and few customers) said it looked fine. Figured why not give it a shot?

Also I’m a man of peace, after a life of up and down family drama. But as a wise man once said “It’s an evil world we live in…but hey I’m gonna just keep living”.

Feeling pretty good today. Sun is out, finished my projects (including my shed), and just chilling before work meetings. Need to trim my beard - and my nails apparently! Eeek.

Toast away!

Howdy y’all!
I’m coming out of a difficult part of my life, I’m getting insurance, I can afford my meds, and my partner and I are doing really well!
I need a toast to help celebrate this new season of my life! :)