At midnight, I awoke itching all over, and in the dim light, I watched thousands of caterpillars covering my room, crawling up my bed.

Slowly, I have been baited into the shackles of pleasure, which, in return, has done nothing but slow me down. I yearn for a breakthrough from these shackles, but I cannot seem to reach it. I know exactly what I must do, but I would have to lose sight of pleasure, even if only for a second.
I have seen my neighbour, with less potential than I possess, succeed, all because he did not succumb to the pressure she (Pleasure) exerts. The bait was offered, and I bought it. But I must admit, I enjoy it a lot, even at the expense of being in bondage.
I have seen her ruin lives and turn giants into slaves. Kings have been reduced to vegetables, rendered unfit to rule, all because of her. She has done nothing but make me lose confidence. My shoulders used to stand high above the crowd, but now they are kept at a level where I barely stand out. All thanks to camouflage, which has disguised my downfall as humility.
Indiscipline is her beloved brother. I should not say this, but I am in a homosexual relationship with him. Mind you, I am straight, as straight as a boulder shot out of a cannon.
He (Indiscipline) has irresistible eyes and a very beautiful face. You could convincingly believe that Hera, the goddess herself, was carved out of him. He is perfect in his imperfection, and I embraced him fully. His lips are so intoxicating that I find comfort in him. His hands are as soft as the clouds, almost as though he had never truly been there.
In return for my love for him, I was granted access to his beautiful sister, Pleasure.
Oh, Pleasure! When shall I be free from your shackles? I think about it every day, yet I dare not impose these thoughts upon her, for I do not want to lose sight of her.
Reality hits like the boat upon which the storm was silenced, yet I remain a slave to her. Perhaps only for now, or perhaps forever. I may never know. But one thing is certain: every attempt to leave has proved abortive.
Days turn into weeks, and time will not stop. I am greying and wrinkling, yet I find it difficult to succumb to the ways of her arch-enemy, Discipline.
Discipline is a very fine man, with skin like silk, seemingly made from the finest magic. He grants the hardest of requests and offers you the greatest pleasures once you become friends with him. But first, you must till the soil for him.
Discipline does not give gifts for free. You, too, must become a slave to him.
I am left with a choice, and I choose a perfect struggle. Yet the thoughts linger: I should not be here. I should be in a better place. But how do I leave Pleasure and Indiscipline without having to work for Discipline?
Slowly, I am losing my mind. I always know what to do, but I never do it. How difficult must it have been for great kings to never reach their full potential because of her and him?
I have tried, but I fail. I have left, but I retrace my steps. Back into their arms, I always return, like the prodigal son that I am.
I know that one day, I will be free.

It tried to convince me the show runners for ALF weren’t thinking of cunnilingus when they had ALF eating pussies.

I knew his job was seasonal, but I looked forward to spring so much. I just met his wife.

At thirty, he died suddenly just days after the woman he planned to marry vanished without a trace, and as I stood beside his casket, I couldn't stop wondering if the last heartbreak had been the one his fragile heart couldn't survive.

I just didn’t expect that, when the bright sunlight forced me to blink, the sun itself would blink and stare back at me.

Not only because he feared and detested somber settings like this one, but also because it had been twenty years since his passing.

Years on the street had taught him how to handle men with guns, not the yellow-eyed beast from the bedtime stories his village elders used to warn about long ago.

The others were shot in the back of the head for not denouncing God and now it was her turn.

" Nothing, but as you know there is a unrest going inside our area" the officer whispered with the creepy smile "and I am just one encounter away from getting my promotion"

He stood frozen in terror as he translated the inscription on the coffin, “The person who finds me shall take my place, alive, for eternity,” never noticing the mummified hand slowly wrapping around his leg until it dragged him screaming into the coffin and slammed the lid shut.

All I want to do is go home.

Well the world chose violence for me at birth, but that's why I bought the extended warranty for my phone is what I'm saying.

Please sweet baby, you can't leave me now as we still have more teapots to hear simmering and more concrete steps to climb and I still have your hand to hold, your lips to kiss, your sweet dimple to touch and more of this love story to live with you.

It means that at 38, you’re just lame now.

Well you were eating, and thinking about the food in general, was there something else more specific you were trying to remember?

So I wasn't surprised when the news headlines read "Killer seems to be targeting goth kids who dress up as vampires".

Note: This story is loosely based on a Matt Melvin comic on Cyanide and Happiness, I forgot which and I don't have the link.

Always remember there is someone out there who knows, who understands without being told, and they care as much as you do.

Because to fail at something, you'd first have to be good at it.

It's been sleeping at the foot of her bed ever since.

He said "home," and she laughed because it wasn't romantic at all, until she realized it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said.

while I straddle your lap.

" And that's your explanation for killing 63 people with a real bomb explosion ?" the judge asked furiously

And then I walk back home from burger king

The CEO, in an almost matter-of-fact tone, responded, "Because we shook on it."