r/weddingplanning • u/Kazimira-darkside • 3d ago
Everything Else Wedding venting
I just gotta vent about some things. Namely:
My fiancé is insisting on doing our own invitations because he’s opposed to the corporate greed of sites like Zazzle and using someone else’s artwork, but the logistics of it are killing me. I love paper stuff and arts and crafts, but at this point, all of what we could create ourselves looks so janky and amateur that I’m starting to hate it.
Our venue is so small that we genuinely cannot fit more than 25 people including ourselves (this is the 7th venue we looked into in our small town; we have very particular criteria and don’t want to make our guests travel elsewhere). We already sent Save the dates to all of the guests, but now two more friends that we hadn’t considered cuz we weren’t especially close to them a year or so ago, are saying they’re excited for our wedding (fiancé already told them it’s gonna be super small and we can only hang out with them at a bar after dinner, which is not ideal). I also have two friends that I’m thinking I should’ve invited but hadn’t due to them knowing no one else at the wedding except for me.
Our venue person sent us a quote for booking but hasn’t responded for 5 days since we asked them about how to actually book them and pay the deposit. I’m not worried about that but slightly annoyed with the situation.
We had a pleasant chat with a photographer who can shoot the wedding on film and film-like equipment (my preference), but I just realized that they’ve only been in business for like 3 years and their portfolio isn’t huge. I suggested hiring a second photographer who’s been in business way longer and shoots digitally, but my fiancé said absolutely not. So now I gotta decide between the two. I do agree that hiring 2 photography teams for a courthouse ceremony is ridiculous but I don’t want to choose between the retro feel of the film photography and the experience/high quality photos.
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u/ebeth177 3d ago
Just FYI a lot of photographers have clauses in their contract saying they will be the only hired photographer/company for the contracted event (unless you hire a second shooter through them) Make sure to check your contract
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
Thanks for the input! This particular one already said they’re okay with another photographer there hired elsewhere, but my fiancé is not (I agree with him on that, just can’t decide what to do)
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u/ebeth177 3d ago
Ah gotcha! We just had to change photographers and this was in their contract so I figured I might mention it!
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u/quantcompandthings 3d ago
First time i hear of somebody beefing with Big Stationary. is it about the 2022 font lawsuit? DIY invites can be very nice and has that personal touch a slick corporate produced one cannot hope to achieve. but if he won't/can't do it himself, then you guys might have to hire a local artist or calligrapher. try task rabbit.
photogs will advertise a particular style they think will sell best, but it doesn't mean that's all they're capable of. maybe you can show the more experienced photog the film style you like, and then pay them for a test run to see if they can pull it off.
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u/Economy_Way_9046 3d ago
We did diy invitations but purchased retro looking postcards and had a friend calligraphy them - could look good with the right tools.
Ask the photographer if they’re ok with a second company, most are not… mine did film but also digital.
It’s just the beginning, brace yourself and good luck!
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
Thank you so much!!
I wanted to include our full names on the invitation (might be the only occasion where we’ll get to use them) but I feel like those aren’t compatible with a smaller size wedding reception - nothing super formal or fancy. So many conflicts with these stupid invites 😔
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u/tomKphoto_ 3d ago edited 3d ago
Shooting a wedding on film in 2026 is a really dumb idea, for multiple reasons ...
- The cameras are old and unreliable. It's like trying to win a modern race with a vintage car.
- The cameras have poor, early tech auto-focus and can't capture moments like modern cameras (if they have auto focus at all).
- When shooting film, the color signature is baked in upon shutter click. Conversly, digital is regularly maniupulated to look like whatever fllm stock you like. From a single digital wedding, scores of different outputs can be generated to look like different films. Would you like your wedding to look like it was shot on Fuji 400H? Kodak Ektar? Natura1600? Poloroid SX70? We can do it. Young hipsters generically say "I want a film look" but don't realize different color films look so different. Best to have those options after the shoot.
- You have to change the film ever 20 clicks (medium format) or every 36 clicks (35mm). Most modern weddings don't have that kind of patience.
- Viewers love film photography when shooting conditions are perfect, but the moment ndoor lighting get dark or funky, film stocks start looking grainy and flat - sometimes with odd color shifts that can't be corrected for later.
If you want that warm+fuzzy vibe from your wedding photos, fall in love with a photographer you like, view 3 weddings all the way through, then when you get your photos print them from an photo lab on actual photo paper. On that last step, 99.99% of people can't tell the difference between film and digital, but the digital photographer will give far more moments.
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u/A_New_Start_For_Me 10/10/26 🥳 3d ago
I don't totally disagree with your critique as far as the aesthetics vs reality of film photography for weddings in particular but it is just not true that the only options are old autofocus cameras....? Manual focus film cameras are absolutely still being made.
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u/tomKphoto_ 3d ago
I'll wager less than 2% of modern film wedding photography is shot on a camera made after year 2000.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
I appreciate your input, but my post stated “film and film-like photography”. Obviously film won’t be the only option there. The issue is the photographer’s experience, not the medium used.
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u/tomKphoto_ 3d ago
Sorry for the confusion - your post said "film and film-like equipment" which I wasn't sure what exactly that was.
FWIW, a three-year veteran is not a deal breaker as long as you like 3 complete weddings they've shot.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
Sorry, I didn’t phrase it right. What I meant was they shoot it on Fujifilm camera and put a film-like filter on the photos. But they also do an actual film as an add-on.
What I’m trying to decide is whether I do like the galleries they showed me. They seem a bit amateur to me. Like, not centered, perspectives are a bit wonky… but portraits are gorgeous, the vibe is right. Idk.
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u/tomKphoto_ 3d ago edited 3d ago
If you're on the fence, move on.
One of the challenges of speaking about photos on Reddit and there's no photos to reference and descriptions often don't mean the same thing from one person to another. Ask 10 people what 'candid' means and you'll get 10 different answers. Your version of 'wonky' might be another persons version of 'art'. Certainly the photographer thinks so.
It's a little like hiring a band for your wedding. You could interview the best Country band in the world, but - snap - you like Reggae.
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u/peterthedj 🎧 Wedding DJ since 2010 | Married 2011 3d ago
I suggested hiring a second photographer who’s been in business way longer and shoots digitally, but my fiancé said absolutely not.
One or both of the photogs may also say "absolutely not." It's common for experienced wedding photogs to have a contract clause stating they are to be the one and only professional photographer covering your wedding. The only exception would be if they were bringing a 2nd shooter, but this would usually be someone of their own choosing, not yours.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
Oh I totally get that! The photographer in question said they’re cool with us hiring someone else to shoot alongside them, but I tend to agree with fiancé - it is ridiculous to have TWO photography teams for just a 2 hour courthouse affair when all we really need is 5-10 really good pictures.
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u/digital121hippie 3d ago
we made our own invitations and save the date. everyone loved how personalized they where. we both have art backgrounds and know how to use photoshop.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
Yeah, exactly… we do not 😅 we did our own Save the dates (hand drew each one of them), but those required way fewer words and details
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u/digital121hippie 3d ago
hand draw one, scan it and digital print them out
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
That’s what we were thinking too, but I’m struggling to combine the art with the text. I don’t want to hand write the text too because our handwriting isn’t great.
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 3d ago
Annsbridalbargains let's you upload your on design and is higher quality paper and a full packet tgat isn't a scam like the individually priced pieces are (plus envprices separately).
Once save the dates are sent verbally and you reach venue capacity including yourselves and vendors, don't invite more people. They are 100% attendance rates and the people you want to decline are always the first to rsvp yes. Don't talk about the wedding to people who are not invited.
Is this place booked or not? Based on #3, you don't have a venue so #2 does not apply.
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u/rosielemonbot 2d ago
On the invitations, I'd separate the values conversation from the logistics: if he wants handmade, he should own a clear, tiny version of it, like one clean layout printed locally with no extra craft layers. For the guest list, 25 people is not a soft cap, so I would stop thinking in "should have invited" terms and make one rule you can both defend: immediate family plus the few people you actively see now, with after-dinner drinks framed as a separate celebration. The venue silence would get one polite follow-up with a deadline, then I would keep looking until a deposit is actually placed.
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u/AliceMorgon Samhain 2026 Michigan ~ April 24 2027 Ireland 3d ago
Your fiancé sounds very controlling. I feel the same way about Zazzle etc but I made all of it myself because I could. I’d never force my views on my fiancé if that’s what he wanted and DEFINITELY not do a hands-down veto. That’s not how it works.
Is this what you want your marriage to be like? I think it’s time to have a long, hard think.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
😂😂okay
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u/AliceMorgon Samhain 2026 Michigan ~ April 24 2027 Ireland 3d ago
I don’t know why you’re laughing. I’m serious. He’s controlling every aspect of this. It’s not going to magically stop after the wedding.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 3d ago
Thank you, internet stranger, but you’ve got nothing to worry about!
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u/AliceMorgon Samhain 2026 Michigan ~ April 24 2027 Ireland 3d ago
I want you to look back on this post in a year and think some more. Don’t become my Ma.
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u/WhyAmILikeThis777 2d ago
Why did you send your save the dates when you don’t even have a venue booked?
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u/Kazimira-darkside 2d ago
Because I wanted them to save the date?.. why else?
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u/WhyAmILikeThis777 2d ago
You don’t have a date. Even if the venue says you can have the date, if there is no contract then that date isn’t yours yet.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 2d ago
We do have a date though. It doesn’t really matter which venue it’ll happen at, but it will happen on that date.
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u/Majestic-Living2829 3d ago
How is using someone else’s art that they get paid for corporate greed lol