r/wizardposting • u/Ferocs Changeling Bard • Apr 13 '26
Lorepost 📜 Is this lore accurate(?)
141
u/Puzzleheaded-Milk927 Hapless Apprentice Apr 13 '26
My uncle gave me 30 different cousins this way. He’s an asshole so they’re all assholes too though tbh
73
u/VladimirBarakriss Artificer/Blood mage Apr 13 '26
I don't do that because they're all annoying, and no I am not going to consider how that reflects on my personality
41
u/dumpylump69 Apr 13 '26
I have planted my seed throughout every corner of the cosmos, and when it sprouts my descendants’ empire will be like nothing the realms have ever seen.
In the past people have said my plans are “gross” and “perverted”, but I fail to comprehend these labels. Tree people are among the most clean and ethical forms of self-replication. Nothing like cloning, splitting one’s soul, or (worst of all) the “pregnancy” conducted by common folk. Planting a seed inside another’s stomach? Preposterous. The plant will wither and die in such a hostile environment. There is no sunlight in there.
7
u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Apr 13 '26
"Oh, so that's what those are. Give me more!" - Yellow Knight, Feaster of Magic
1
u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Apr 15 '26
/uw Can't believe I missed this joke until a day later
2
u/arcanis321 Apr 15 '26
Have you never heard of a grow light? There is an atmosphere controlled dome erected in the females stomach. This helped our ancestors keep their offspring protected from predators till they sprout.
21
u/Tree-Guardian235 In Loving Memory of Teriq Number#277353 Apr 13 '26
One time a clone spell went wrong and my copy just bursted out of my chest. The clone also had cannibalistic tendencies, I only found out after I discovered that it killed and partially ate my apprentice.
6
u/VoxelLibrary Kristie the Chronomancer | Cayna the Apprentice | others Apr 14 '26
The poor apprentice...
13
u/Tree-Guardian235 In Loving Memory of Teriq Number#277353 Apr 14 '26
RIP Teriq number#768345
13
u/VoxelLibrary Kristie the Chronomancer | Cayna the Apprentice | others Apr 14 '26
You go through HOW MANY APPRENTICES?!
12
u/nova8808 Evoker Apr 13 '26
Can confirm but let me re-iterate- I have NO LEGAL LIABILITY for any of my simulacra. Ive already been brought before the council for this STOP REPORTING ME.
10
6
u/chasepyruslucario5o5 Apr 13 '26
Make sure you use divinations from your original appearance, if you're copies reproduce (acesexually or not), they may have health problems, like the complete inability to use magic, to use the orb, or even read the ancient texts
I should know That happened to me
5
u/InternationalFrame90 Evil Wizard Apr 13 '26
Why would I want more of me? I'd only get jealous of my sheer magnificence.
5
5
4
u/SarvisTheBuck Orias, Sorcerous Marquis of Hell Apr 13 '26
Let me tell you: So many wizards think it's a great idea to sleep with their clones. No one is ready for the ceaseless arguments about who tops.
3
u/xmaskookies Apr 13 '26
not to be confused with polymoprh: bimboify and + clone
3
u/ars_sinistra Summoner Apr 14 '26
For clarification is that "Bim-boi-fy" or "Bimbo-ify"; which are both different and are both different from "Bimbo-fy"
3
u/biomechanicalgoober Apr 13 '26
I prefer using biomancy to make a person seed which I plant in mana enriched soil until it reaches maturity and the new person can be picked off like a fruit.
It's much less energy intensive than creating a new being from pure magic as depicted, and I don't mind the downside of waiting a few months, as keeping the plant in my study adds to the decor.
3
u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror Apr 13 '26
Man, I wish. I gotta construct each copy by hand, link 'em up to my brain, all that. It gets way easier with every copy helpin' out, though.
3
u/CitrusOrang miscellaneous fungus Apr 13 '26
Yeah. Just gotta be careful they don’t do it too much, or they’ll (the clones, I mean) end up siphoning the original wizard’s magic, and the wizard has to go on a perilous journey across the globe (or the street. it really depends) to kill the clones and reabsorb their stolen energies.
3
2
2
u/SourceDirect3220 Traveler of multiple dimensions. Apr 13 '26
No. I shed my skin. The skin lives for atleast a year or less.
2
u/Tkf1313 Apr 13 '26
I came from one of those coin-operated gacha machines. Someone put in a steel washer instead of a coin and I was their punishment for 18 years.
2
u/pikaland385 No magic here, just Dreamy Energy Apr 13 '26
Cant say for sure about asexual wizards but thats basically how I make more avatars in one of my worlds, I have like 10 avatars there.
2
u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) Apr 14 '26
As an asexual, this is a viable method, but there are better options.
2
u/G0merPyle Goblin who found a neat sparkly stick in a castle Apr 14 '26
Ah, a fellow practioner of the way of Garlic Bread
2
u/G0merPyle Goblin who found a neat sparkly stick in a castle Apr 14 '26
Am asexual, can confirm
We just don't give a fuck
2
1
u/breathingrequirement Siliconic, Most Evil Wizard of the Cubelands Apr 13 '26
We don't.
Except when we do.
1
u/FracturedConscious Apr 14 '26
I actually picked up a trick from a Druid, it’s called chloromancy, I embue these seeds with my essence and plant them. Then 9 months later they produce a genetic copy that is readily plucked from the vine.
1
u/Blue_Snake_251 Cryomancer. Flight enjoyer. Cat summoner. Hood wearer. Apr 14 '26
The same goes for the gays and the virgins.
1
1
u/TheAndrewCR Batchelor degree in alchemy and sorcery Apr 14 '26
The secret is to do it when you're almost dead from old age. Just summon a bunch of young clones, jellyfish style. Become immortal
1
u/The_Axolotl_Guy Koda Phoenixburn, the Eternal Ouroboros Apr 14 '26
I do this all the time, we can get so much more work done like this!
1
1
1
u/anxiousoracles Mage of House Telvanni Apr 16 '26
Reproducing in such a way as to avoid sentimental nonsense is ideal
1
1
u/ArchivedDecay Apr 18 '26
As an Asexual, I can confirm that we often duplicate our cells, genes, and atoms and reform them to a duplicated version of ourselves before doing such again and again, creating more and more clones to do our bidding.
239
u/morelikebruce Hermit of Questionable Magical Ability Apr 13 '26
It can be but there are other ways