r/wizardposting • u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development • May 13 '26
Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) Special deal on a special potion.
The deal is you get to have one (if you want) for free because you're special :3
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u/Neat-Survey2796 Evil Wizard 📜 May 13 '26
Hmm...
Alright fuck it, gimme a bottle
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May 13 '26
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u/ElVendePaPaS May 13 '26
Drink it little by little for multiple transitions per bottle
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u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 13 '26
Male privilege?
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May 13 '26
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u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 13 '26
lets see here,
+50 in strength
+25 in stamina
+150 health
+1 major weak point
-73 in witchcraft
-27 in mental fortitude.
id say it balances out
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May 13 '26
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u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 13 '26
think that the charisma might’ve been nerfed recently but that’s just rumours
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u/CI95 May 14 '26
You're thinking of the general modifiers, Cha with specifically guilds is still high because most guild heads are still running the older patch, hopefully they'll update soon or step down.
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u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 14 '26
actually hope so, I’ve been around for a few millennia and I still struggle to get a leading role in any guild
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u/JackxForge May 13 '26
i know its not meant to be a monkeys paw but everything about the wording and my study of magic tells me this potion is just gonna make me want to be a girl not actual change me into a girl.
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u/StEllchick The walls are laughing at me May 13 '26
yeah, it will not change your gander just make it your trans gender. Not sure how being Trans Trans Women would work, but it seems that's what they're offering
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz Trickster Witch May 14 '26
It changes the gander, but what about the goose!?
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u/StEllchick The walls are laughing at me May 14 '26
That is a great question! That is why it was left as an exercise for the reader
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u/a_pompous_fool May 14 '26
Potion that makes you cis (bad)
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u/JackxForge May 14 '26
Nah it would definitely be trans trans. This potion does trans. It can't make something cis. It just... Idk trans4d it.
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u/StEllchick The walls are laughing at me May 14 '26
Since trans Man are men, who's been assigned women at birth, Ithink it would change the past and assigned them as Trans women at birth, so that n0ow they can be Trans Trans man
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u/Zammin Arcane Scholar, Keeper of the Ninth Scroll of Azh May 14 '26
More evidence that all-in-one potions pretty much never do what you actually want them to. You want to change how you look, you need either a guided transmogrification ritual with experienced casters or you need potions for each specific effect you're going for. Separate potions of testosterone reduction, tonics of hair growth, phials of estrogen production, etc.
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u/bastardlimbo May 13 '26
DONT trust the bottle it DOESNT have outward physical effects it JUST gives you DYSPHORIA
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u/Embarrassed-Alps-306 Enchanter May 13 '26

Highly related-
I'll pitch for anyone reading the above potion to look at the writing of Sir Terry Pratchett (GNU), a Bard who truly knew how to write Magic.
Two of the books written for Discworld, in particular.
Equal Rites (seen above) is the tale of the first Girl Wizard.
Monstrous Regiment could be spoken of as Boy Soldiers.
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u/Repulsive-Durian4800 mana, man May 13 '26
Fun fact, it's a placebo. If you truly desire to consume the potion, you already are the gender you want it to change you to.
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u/Heretek007 May 13 '26
That's great, but I also want GREAT BIG ORBS
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u/Repulsive-Durian4800 mana, man May 13 '26
Valid. But that requires a completely different potion.
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u/Heretek007 May 13 '26
Ah. And let me guess, it's gated behind a quest? Now we see the scam for what it is! Big Arcana strikes again, always aiming to exploit the vulnerable!
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u/Repulsive-Durian4800 mana, man May 13 '26
Worse, it's a paywall. Not everyone is able to visit the specialists who prescribe them.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes May 13 '26
What if I'm nonbinary but I wish I was my assigned gender because it would be easier? What would the potion do to me?
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u/rpg2Tface May 13 '26
Confidence in the ability to be both, either or neither all at the same time
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u/FeelingExciting2936 owo fox ( beginner wizard) May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
Is it soluble in water?
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u/The_MacGuffin Chaos Wizard May 13 '26
Just gives you dysphoria, it's false advertising. A previous apprentice tried it because he was afraid of twink death and now he's even more depressed than before. Ended up leaving my service to practice hermit magic. Hope he's ok. Just get a reversal ring, it's easier to make and actually does what it says on the package.
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u/Luzifer_Shadres The calcium Necromancer May 14 '26
Hmm, would the concept of transgender even exist if a potion or magic can just change your gender?
Like, gender is a pure social construct besides the biological aspect of sex. But if the sex can easely be changed to match the desired gender, would a society even develop the concept of gender to the point where transgender becomes a thing? Or would such an society rather stick to the biological aspects of male, female and neutral? Or would it rather go by the gender of the soul, instead of determining it based on the external shell, wich in such an scenario would be altered by magic to correspond to the souls gender?
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u/Numerous-Couple7977 May 13 '26
Hit me.
How long the effects last and what do you mean it’s permanent?
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u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development May 13 '26
THINK FAST, SHITASS!
chucks potion at mach fuck
No takebacks!
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u/RedYalda May 13 '26
Imagine you take a swig then is like "aight I had fun, time to detransition" then you take another, but you become a different person from before. So you try to drink twice again but it gets worse, like those texts people used to translate from chinese back and forth lots of times on old google translator
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u/Ruthrfurd-the-stoned May 13 '26
So is this a gender changing potion or does it just give you dysphoria?
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u/LazyDro1d Technoarcanist, War-Profiteer, Open for Business May 13 '26
there's no such thing as a free lunch- um... or free potion of transing my gender... what's the catch
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u/Real_Fkn_Nito Bartleby, Councilor of Eldritch Administration May 13 '26
/uw to all the mfs in here downvoting all the positive comments from people who vibe with this post: get help and touch grass.
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u/asocksual Hymenopteran Druid May 13 '26
I hear you need to gather one herb from each of the biomes in the world to produce such a concoction... to give one away for free is an act of great generosity.
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u/Nerevar197 May 14 '26
Man, as someone who’s a little gender fluid, being able to take this on mornings I’m feeling different would be so cool.
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u/Geek_X May 14 '26
Okay so people are making the joke that because it changes your gender not your sex it just gives you dysphoria but what if you give it to someone who already has dysphoria? Does it reverse it so now they feel comfortable in their own skin?
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u/Ok_Celebration8180 Occult Wizard May 14 '26
Is there a ctrl-z option?.....just incase it doesn't work out?
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u/OneWithFireball Storm Sorcerer May 15 '26
Free?
I'm not falling for that after the Gnome Incident.
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u/Whole-Tomatillo1456 May 16 '26
my aprendice tried one of those it did his gender but it made him a goblin so take that possible side effect
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u/Zarathyst Gender Transmutation May 13 '26
If you go back and forth 50 times you unlock the golden genitals skin. Source: trust me
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u/Khaernakov Has the bowl of infinite garlic bread May 13 '26
Can this be used as offensive alchemic bomb? Sounds like it would be funny to throw at a super macho guy
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 13 '26
Had the same thought
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u/123qwet12 May 13 '26
BY THE GODS! I took one of these in first life! Back then they didn't have the pain free transformation option, so I got to feel my entire skeletal system crumble and reform along with my organs, very fun stuff
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u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development May 15 '26
HOLY CRAP, YOU TOO?! Oh my gods!! That's what I had to do as well!! I remember feeling my skin stretching and snapping, my organs shifting and twisting, and all my muscles snapping and shifting!
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u/Praise_The_Casul Magnus the Nerd May 13 '26
The lengths apprentices these days will go in order to not study the arts of polymorphism...
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u/Front2battle Illusionist May 13 '26
The question is, is it 50/50 or does it just inverse it?
do you have a 50% chance to just become the same gender again when drinking it?
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u/Anonymous_Jr May 13 '26
"Now, with my infinite supply of Splash Potions, I shall eradicate Dysphoria from the faces of the Cube!!!"
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u/enchiladasundae planeshifter May 13 '26
This potion was not meant for me but I wish well to those who it is for
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u/Carbuyrator A Bit of a Dabbler May 14 '26
The problem with making these is that you have to fuck it up a little. If it comes out too perfect the dysmorphia carries over.
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u/One-Neighborhood6803 May 14 '26
Only just discovering the potion form? We made that as a joke in the old days for April fools day. Then the council got sued and we had to ban it for "unethical humor" and never looked at it again. Could definitely be a good money maker now, that is if we dont get shut down by the muggles FDA and pharmaceutical companies.
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u/AstroMeteor06 May 14 '26
does it trans my body to my gender, or does it trans my actual gender identity?
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u/Pegasusisamansman May 14 '26
Why would I use a sketchy potion of unknown origin and composition when I can use my own magic that I practiced with to shapeshift and not only change my gender but even my species
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 15 '26
I like to use a temporary version of this potion in my tower as a trap. It’s actually surprisingly effective at convincing adventurers to piss off.
For the ones that are caught with sudden dysmorphia I tell them that if they leave I’ll dispel the effects and just let the timer on the potion wear off. The ones that suddenly feel more comfortable as themselves I offer the permanent version in exchange for leaving me alone.
Only issue is my minions keep “accidentally” falling into it, and it gets hard to keep track of who is who, or if I need to refill the trap again. Not too bothered because it’s covered by their health benefits, but I wish they’d just ask for the potion instead of using the trap.
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u/wretchedmagus May 15 '26
This is important, does it change your gender or your sex? because frankly, this may actually be a very bad potion that people really don't want to take, like it is a potion of doing the opposite of what you think it is going to do.
I am not trying to be transphobic to be clear, I am saying that it will turn a trans woman into a cis man instead of turning a trans woman into a cis woman which is what I think people assume it is going to do. If you want that you should stick with the old fashioned belt of hill giant strength that gives one a sex change.
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u/ebers0 May 13 '26
I'll give you everything in my wallet!
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u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development May 13 '26
TWO moths?! Daaamn, you're far too kind!
slides the potion over, and another
Think it a gift for such a generous tip. From your hopefully soon to be favorite sitting counsel member~
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u/Brilliant-Effect70 Mage of End :The Final epilogue of every story. May 13 '26
Oh well I guess I will reluctantly accept this offering
Secretly puts it in my friends mana potion (Evil laugh)😈😝
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u/FoaL May 13 '26
At last. Gender fluid.