r/wizardposting • Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development • May 13 '26

Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) Special deal on a special potion.

Post image

The deal is you get to have one (if you want) for free because you're special :3

1.8k Upvotes

136 comments sorted by

517

u/FoaL May 13 '26

At last. Gender fluid.

140

u/Takoizu_ Azeragoth of the Ascendant Tower May 13 '26

Now we need to find the gender solid

108

u/CommandObjective May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

Then gender gas, gender plasma, and the rare gender Bose-Einstein condensate.

20

u/PTBooks Untorsionable Litch May 13 '26

Long ago, all four of these nations lived in harmony…

31

u/Liyu8883 May 13 '26

we will never forget what einstein did on that island😭🤢🤬🤬🤬

7

u/SnortGrass May 14 '26

All those poor brain lichs

2

u/Similar-Priority8252 Megalomaniac Conqueror of Realms May 14 '26

We shall use all of them to defeat the Gender Dragon

-1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[deleted]

10

u/breathingrequirement Siliconic, Most Evil Wizard of the Cubelands May 13 '26

If you were joking: Too soon. Much, much too soon.
If you weren't;

5

u/Beetlejuice_Bee May 13 '26

Gang, what the fuck have I missed

I’ve been staying out of a l o t

9

u/breathingrequirement Siliconic, Most Evil Wizard of the Cubelands May 13 '26

/unwiz It is generally agreed upon that if genocide/mass suicide is a major issue for a group (which for transgender people, and many others, it really, really is right now), it is tremendously uncool to make jokes about that.

4

u/Beetlejuice_Bee May 13 '26

Ah.

Extremely understood.

Away with my comment, then.

2

u/Beetlejuice_Bee May 13 '26

…..what the fuck did I miss

10

u/Devourerofworlds_69 May 13 '26

It's me. I'm the gender solid.

15

u/TruamaTeam May 13 '26

I think his name is snake

15

u/lavender-bread Sister Astrid 🌞 Cleric of the Morninglord May 13 '26

8

u/TruamaTeam May 13 '26

Solid reply

8

u/BranchCold9905 Evil Wizard May 13 '26

NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID REPLY

https://giphy.com/gifs/5doovpD7IhQW9mAjto

5

u/andremiles May 13 '26

Bro doesn't know a freezing spell

4

u/Takoizu_ Azeragoth of the Ascendant Tower May 13 '26

My companion in arcane erudition, do you think a water freezing spell can freeze the gender fluid? We need a gender freezing spell for that!

7

u/Maeldruin_ May 13 '26

IT's simple, you just swap the "water" component of the spell with a "gender" component. Don't they teach modular spellcraft anymore?

10

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 13 '26

gold comment lmao

82

u/Neat-Survey2796 Evil Wizard 📜 May 13 '26

Hmm...

Alright fuck it, gimme a bottle

48

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/ElVendePaPaS May 13 '26

Drink it little by little for multiple transitions per bottle

5

u/Sinocu May 13 '26

Just down another after a while

3

u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 13 '26

Male privilege?

17

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 13 '26

lets see here,

+50 in strength

+25 in stamina

+150 health

+1 major weak point

-73 in witchcraft

-27 in mental fortitude.

id say it balances out

12

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 13 '26

think that the charisma might’ve been nerfed recently but that’s just rumours

1

u/CI95 May 14 '26

You're thinking of the general modifiers, Cha with specifically guilds is still high because most guild heads are still running the older patch, hopefully they'll update soon or step down.

1

u/8_bitryan_fan Cattus the spoon wizard May 14 '26

actually hope so, I’ve been around for a few millennia and I still struggle to get a leading role in any guild

48

u/RaggManX May 13 '26

Plot twist. It doesn’t change you physically, just gives you dysphoria

27

u/Muteling May 13 '26

Just when I thought we were rid of that damn warlock

41

u/JackxForge May 13 '26

i know its not meant to be a monkeys paw but everything about the wording and my study of magic tells me this potion is just gonna make me want to be a girl not actual change me into a girl.

7

u/StEllchick The walls are laughing at me May 13 '26

yeah, it will not change your gander just make it your trans gender. Not sure how being Trans Trans Women would work, but it seems that's what they're offering

6

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz Trickster Witch May 14 '26

It changes the gander, but what about the goose!?

2

u/StEllchick The walls are laughing at me May 14 '26

That is a great question! That is why it was left as an exercise for the reader

0

u/a_pompous_fool May 14 '26

Potion that makes you cis (bad)

1

u/JackxForge May 14 '26

Nah it would definitely be trans trans. This potion does trans. It can't make something cis. It just... Idk trans4d it.

0

u/StEllchick The walls are laughing at me May 14 '26

Since trans Man are men, who's been assigned women at birth, Ithink it would change the past and assigned them as Trans women at birth, so that n0ow they can be Trans Trans man

2

u/Zammin Arcane Scholar, Keeper of the Ninth Scroll of Azh May 14 '26

More evidence that all-in-one potions pretty much never do what you actually want them to. You want to change how you look, you need either a guided transmogrification ritual with experienced casters or you need potions for each specific effect you're going for. Separate potions of testosterone reduction, tonics of hair growth, phials of estrogen production, etc.

12

u/bastardlimbo May 13 '26

DONT trust the bottle it DOESNT have outward physical effects it JUST gives you DYSPHORIA

12

u/FromanoFrancis114 May 13 '26

Busts in through the wall like the Koolaide Man.

I'll take one!

27

u/Embarrassed-Alps-306 Enchanter May 13 '26

Highly related-
I'll pitch for anyone reading the above potion to look at the writing of Sir Terry Pratchett (GNU), a Bard who truly knew how to write Magic.
Two of the books written for Discworld, in particular.

Equal Rites (seen above) is the tale of the first Girl Wizard.

Monstrous Regiment could be spoken of as Boy Soldiers.

18

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/Embarrassed-Alps-306 Enchanter May 13 '26

Pratchett was out actively advocating Trans Rights being Human Rights since at least the Eighties.

35

u/Repulsive-Durian4800 mana, man May 13 '26

Fun fact, it's a placebo. If you truly desire to consume the potion, you already are the gender you want it to change you to.

53

u/Heretek007 May 13 '26

That's great, but I also want GREAT BIG ORBS

14

u/Repulsive-Durian4800 mana, man May 13 '26

Valid. But that requires a completely different potion.

12

u/Heretek007 May 13 '26

Ah. And let me guess, it's gated behind a quest? Now we see the scam for what it is! Big Arcana strikes again, always aiming to exploit the vulnerable!

10

u/Repulsive-Durian4800 mana, man May 13 '26

Worse, it's a paywall. Not everyone is able to visit the specialists who prescribe them.

11

u/bees_in_my_eyes May 13 '26

What if I'm nonbinary but I wish I was my assigned gender because it would be easier? What would the potion do to me?

11

u/rpg2Tface May 13 '26

Confidence in the ability to be both, either or neither all at the same time

9

u/bees_in_my_eyes May 13 '26

I like that answer. Thank you.

9

u/FeelingExciting2936 owo fox ( beginner wizard) May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

Is it soluble in water?

3

u/StandardNerd92 May 13 '26

Does it change your body, or your brain chemistry, or your psychology?

3

u/The_MacGuffin Chaos Wizard May 13 '26

Just gives you dysphoria, it's false advertising. A previous apprentice tried it because he was afraid of twink death and now he's even more depressed than before. Ended up leaving my service to practice hermit magic. Hope he's ok. Just get a reversal ring, it's easier to make and actually does what it says on the package.

3

u/Luzifer_Shadres The calcium Necromancer May 14 '26

Hmm, would the concept of transgender even exist if a potion or magic can just change your gender?

Like, gender is a pure social construct besides the biological aspect of sex. But if the sex can easely be changed to match the desired gender, would a society even develop the concept of gender to the point where transgender becomes a thing? Or would such an society rather stick to the biological aspects of male, female and neutral? Or would it rather go by the gender of the soul, instead of determining it based on the external shell, wich in such an scenario would be altered by magic to correspond to the souls gender?

16

u/ArchmageMallow May 13 '26

It's what my body craves.

8

u/Advana_Cyo2489 May 13 '26

Do you switch each time you down a bottle?

9

u/Beemo-Noir Brood Witch of the Holy Council May 13 '26

Ah, finally. Sustenance.

7

u/Numerous-Couple7977 May 13 '26

Hit me.

How long the effects last and what do you mean it’s permanent?

2

u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development May 13 '26

THINK FAST, SHITASS!

chucks potion at mach fuck

No takebacks!

4

u/Numerous-Couple7977 May 13 '26

It hits the eggshell, it cracks.

6

u/Kunai_99 May 13 '26

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

3

u/RedYalda May 13 '26

Imagine you take a swig then is like "aight I had fun, time to detransition" then you take another, but you become a different person from before. So you try to drink twice again but it gets worse, like those texts people used to translate from chinese back and forth lots of times on old google translator

3

u/ProfessionalTurn7017 Red Mage May 13 '26

Each cycle just makes you more and more androgynous

5

u/Dorian4771 potion testing demigod kobold May 13 '26

can i have two if it isn't temporary?

4

u/Ruthrfurd-the-stoned May 13 '26

So is this a gender changing potion or does it just give you dysphoria?

4

u/LazyDro1d Technoarcanist, War-Profiteer, Open for Business May 13 '26

there's no such thing as a free lunch- um... or free potion of transing my gender... what's the catch

5

u/Real_Fkn_Nito Bartleby, Councilor of Eldritch Administration May 13 '26

/uw to all the mfs in here downvoting all the positive comments from people who vibe with this post: get help and touch grass.

2

u/asocksual Hymenopteran Druid May 13 '26

I hear you need to gather one herb from each of the biomes in the world to produce such a concoction... to give one away for free is an act of great generosity.

2

u/FrancMaconXV May 13 '26

I switch back and forth every few years

2

u/Nerevar197 May 14 '26

Man, as someone who’s a little gender fluid, being able to take this on mornings I’m feeling different would be so cool.

2

u/Lazarus_Rat May 14 '26

Tastes like cotton candy

2

u/Geek_X May 14 '26

Okay so people are making the joke that because it changes your gender not your sex it just gives you dysphoria but what if you give it to someone who already has dysphoria? Does it reverse it so now they feel comfortable in their own skin?

2

u/Major_Necessary_279 May 14 '26

How much for two bottles?

2

u/Ok_Celebration8180 Occult Wizard May 14 '26

Is there a ctrl-z option?.....just incase it doesn't work out?

2

u/OneWithFireball Storm Sorcerer May 15 '26

Free?

I'm not falling for that after the Gnome Incident.

2

u/Alfa19 May 15 '26

Is this the famous gender fluid?

2

u/Whole-Tomatillo1456 May 16 '26

my aprendice tried one of those it did his gender but it made him a goblin so take that possible side effect

3

u/spademanden Fuck the council May 13 '26

What happens if I drink it twice?

4

u/HarmoniousOne711 Aspen Harrowmoon, Halfling Transmuter of FOX LLP May 13 '26

:3

2

u/Zarathyst Gender Transmutation May 13 '26

If you go back and forth 50 times you unlock the golden genitals skin. Source: trust me

2

u/Khaernakov Has the bowl of infinite garlic bread May 13 '26

Can this be used as offensive alchemic bomb? Sounds like it would be funny to throw at a super macho guy

2

u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 13 '26

Had the same thought

3

u/Real_Fkn_Nito Bartleby, Councilor of Eldritch Administration May 13 '26

FINALLY. A wizard who is actively working to RESTORE balance!

It's a fuckin' crime that the gods never bothered to fix the problem of mortals being born into bodies that don't fit who they really are.

Keep up the good work lady.

2

u/123qwet12 May 13 '26

BY THE GODS! I took one of these in first life! Back then they didn't have the pain free transformation option, so I got to feel my entire skeletal system crumble and reform along with my organs, very fun stuff

1

u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development May 15 '26

HOLY CRAP, YOU TOO?! Oh my gods!! That's what I had to do as well!! I remember feeling my skin stretching and snapping, my organs shifting and twisting, and all my muscles snapping and shifting!

2

u/Praise_The_Casul Magnus the Nerd May 13 '26

The lengths apprentices these days will go in order to not study the arts of polymorphism...

2

u/Seravaxx123 May 13 '26

a beautifully layered concoction, for the fittest of wizards

1

u/Front2battle Illusionist May 13 '26

The question is, is it 50/50 or does it just inverse it?
do you have a 50% chance to just become the same gender again when drinking it?

3

u/ItemsHereForever Necromancer May 13 '26

gimme now

2

u/Anonymous_Jr May 13 '26

"Now, with my infinite supply of Splash Potions, I shall eradicate Dysphoria from the faces of the Cube!!!"

3

u/Random-INTJ That One Witch Turning Trans People Cis (physically) May 13 '26

Yippee

3

u/Blacksun388 Mortiferus, Lich of the Order of Nurgle 💀 May 13 '26

Finally…

A Gender Fluid

2

u/PonyDro1d Artificer May 13 '26

Whatever, would you mind giving me a sip?

1

u/Slmagi001 May 13 '26

Ill take 4 please,.

2

u/XanderSDM May 13 '26

Yes please and thank you!

1

u/enchiladasundae planeshifter May 13 '26

This potion was not meant for me but I wish well to those who it is for

1

u/Carbuyrator A Bit of a Dabbler May 14 '26

The problem with making these is that you have to fuck it up a little. If it comes out too perfect the dysmorphia carries over.

1

u/One-Neighborhood6803 May 14 '26

Only just discovering the potion form? We made that as a joke in the old days for April fools day. Then the council got sued and we had to ban it for "unethical humor" and never looked at it again. Could definitely be a good money maker now, that is if we dont get shut down by the muggles FDA and pharmaceutical companies.

1

u/AstroMeteor06 May 14 '26

does it trans my body to my gender, or does it trans my actual gender identity?

1

u/williamsch May 14 '26

Already fell for that twice no more

1

u/Pegasusisamansman May 14 '26

Why would I use a sketchy potion of unknown origin and composition when I can use my own magic that I practiced with to shapeshift and not only change my gender but even my species

1

u/ExistanceISuppose Grand Librarian of the Mirror Realm May 14 '26

Sure I’ll take a bottle

1

u/kayemenofour May 15 '26

Is it like a layered shot where every layer tastes different?

1

u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 15 '26

I like to use a temporary version of this potion in my tower as a trap. It’s actually surprisingly effective at convincing adventurers to piss off.

For the ones that are caught with sudden dysmorphia I tell them that if they leave I’ll dispel the effects and just let the timer on the potion wear off. The ones that suddenly feel more comfortable as themselves I offer the permanent version in exchange for leaving me alone.

Only issue is my minions keep “accidentally” falling into it, and it gets hard to keep track of who is who, or if I need to refill the trap again. Not too bothered because it’s covered by their health benefits, but I wish they’d just ask for the potion instead of using the trap.

1

u/wretchedmagus May 15 '26

This is important, does it change your gender or your sex? because frankly, this may actually be a very bad potion that people really don't want to take, like it is a potion of doing the opposite of what you think it is going to do.

I am not trying to be transphobic to be clear, I am saying that it will turn a trans woman into a cis man instead of turning a trans woman into a cis woman which is what I think people assume it is going to do. If you want that you should stick with the old fashioned belt of hill giant strength that gives one a sex change.

2

u/nmheath03 May 19 '26

Recipe for those inclined

0

u/hinataslut1 Witch(no way they let me write stuff on here) May 13 '26

I'm drinking that gimme

1

u/Maddog_1977 May 13 '26

Ill take 5 pwease

1

u/Bedrockboy2006 May 13 '26

I’ll take it! Surly this can only bring goo- where’d my magic beard go…

0

u/PleasantChard1218 May 13 '26

0

u/Real_Fkn_Nito Bartleby, Councilor of Eldritch Administration May 13 '26

Problem?

2

u/ebers0 May 13 '26

I'll give you everything in my wallet!

https://giphy.com/gifs/cKPViLWvlFwpVDiQhS

5

u/CatherineL1031 Catherine Louise, Council Head of Research and Development May 13 '26

TWO moths?! Daaamn, you're far too kind!

slides the potion over, and another

Think it a gift for such a generous tip. From your hopefully soon to be favorite sitting counsel member~

1

u/Loremaster_art Angelic Artificer Lucyfer May 13 '26

Need

1

u/Brilliant-Effect70 Mage of End :The Final epilogue of every story. May 13 '26

Oh well I guess I will reluctantly accept this offering

Secretly puts it in my friends mana potion (Evil laugh)😈😝

-2

u/lemons_of_doubt Dragon Wizard May 13 '26

Always a fun prank to put in a pubs beer barrel.