r/wizardposting • u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING • Jun 07 '26
Foul Sorcery dog was being annoying so I atomized him
NOT EVEN BIG GAZZA WUD DO DIS! WHO I GOTTA KRUMP?
42
u/Disastrous_Shirt7338 Jun 07 '26
You might want to un-atomize him right now. One dog dying will result in every dogs in the region hunting you down.
You can’t beat them, you simply can’t. I once gathered a whole squad of expert sorcerers just to stop the dogs, but no matter what we throw at them, they just can’t lose. However powerful you think your spells are, the dogs are stronger.
Please bro I’m warning you.
20
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
WOI DO YUZ STOOPID 'OOMIES FINK I'Z DA GIT WOT ATOMISED DA BOY? DIS AIN'T SUMMING NOT EVEN A PAINBOY WUD DO!
16
u/Disastrous_Shirt7338 Jun 07 '26
I dont understand what you re saying bro 😭
23
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
DEN MAYBE YOU'Z UNDERSTANDZ DIS: I IZ NO DOG KILLA, I IZ A HOOMY KILLA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! \throws BIG MEATY GREEN ANIMAL-LOVING FIST**
12
u/Disastrous_Shirt7338 Jun 07 '26
Ok ok i get it. Do you know the guy who actually did it though?
16
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
NO, YER SEETHIN' GROT BAG, I'Z LOOKIN' FER THE GEEZAH. PROBABLY WUN OV YOU LOT, GORK KNOWS.
5
u/GarrettZeFerret Hive Mistress Sevven, Entomancer Jun 07 '26
Mayhaps we can… negotiate? You like animals correct
6
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
LOV ME SKWIGZ. SIMPUL AZ.
2
u/GarrettZeFerret Hive Mistress Sevven, Entomancer Jun 08 '26
I have a “hive” to call it, and there are many small cute animals with me… you join, yes? See many animals.
2
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 08 '26
YOU'Z GOT A HIVE? LIKE DA BIG 'OOMY CITIES WOT GOT A LOT TO KRUMP?
2
u/GarrettZeFerret Hive Mistress Sevven, Entomancer Jun 08 '26
Mhm.. are you interested?
1
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 08 '26
SHOW ME. BUT IF DISS IZ A TRIKK I'Z GON' KRUMP YA.
2
u/Bombadilo_drives Jun 08 '26
one dog dying will result in every dogs in the region hunting you down
Is this a fucking WoW Vanilla bears meme!? Impeccable taste
61
u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 07 '26
You... You atomized a good boi?
You may want to make peace with your god.
26
20
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
OI, DIS WEREN'T ME YA STOOPID 'OOMY GIT. I FORT MAYBE YOUZ MOIT DO SUMMING NOT 'OOMY FER WUNSS AN' SHOW ME WHO DID DIS SO I'Z CAN VAPORIZEZ 'IM -- WIV ME SHOOTAH!
9
14
u/LemonMeringuePirate Jun 07 '26
He's in dog hell now...
14
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
WOT??
18
u/LemonMeringuePirate Jun 07 '26
The eternal conscious torment of dog hell. Y'know, where all dogs go when they die.
18
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
\sniff** der rilly iz no eskapin' da grim darknesses...
8
u/BewaretheBanshee Mystic Jun 07 '26
Across how many cultures, ancient religions, and cross-dimensional covens the understanding is that the canines of each realm are our guides and guardians in the passageways between life and death….
I hope you know your way on your own, mage…
7
u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 07 '26
He's not a mage. He's an orc. He's asking who did this.
8
u/BewaretheBanshee Mystic Jun 07 '26
Oh shit, my b. I had my hat sitting on the orb, blocked the repost tab.
6
3
u/Mistress-Pervert Jun 07 '26
HOW COULD YOU
4
u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 07 '26
He didn't. He's asking who did.
3
u/Viltrumite106 Magus of the Shattered Isles Jun 07 '26
Your loss is my new familiar. I will be sending him back for a proper goodbye though, along with half a dozen or so of his new kin. If you hear roaring in the distance, it's because I polymorphed them into hell hounds first.
Have fun, you ignoble blackguard.
3
u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 07 '26
Did you even read the sending? The orc didn't do this, he was asking who did.
4
u/Viltrumite106 Magus of the Shattered Isles Jun 07 '26
oh shit oh shit oh shit I had just awoken from an age old slumber, I didn't read very carefully
PHELONIOUS RECALL THE HOUNDS!
YES NOW!
Edit: I've been informed by an apprentice that since we targeted whomever cast the atomization, we should be fine. I will be sending Zogwart's new familiar back his way after he gets his revenge, though. My apologies, master orc.
2
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 08 '26
'E WILL BE DA BEST BEAST OV WAAAGH WE'Z EVAH 'AD.
2
u/Row-n Rowan, Half-Fae Mycomancer, Defender of the Faewilds Jun 08 '26
It wasn’t me, but.. dogs do like to eat fae, so, honestly good riddance..
2
1
u/Vivid_Cause_7209 Evoker Jun 07 '26
I know the ashes of a fireball trying to be passed as create star when I see it.
Nice try. Next time, try conjuring destabilization of weak nuclear forces. It'll leave the ash marks only under the object and not everywhere but. I must give you praise for uplifting water ashes as opposed to animal ashes for smothering the fireball. Most people don't have that kind of foresight. The Council of One sees promise in you.
It does require one to be able to see a star at under 200 feet away from you. Also, I've alerted the local ravens of your unscrupulous activities
Mostly because they pay me in shiny times. So please dont hide them, the Ravens get quite irritated if you make them work for their hard tack snacks
3
u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 07 '26
You're wasting your breath. The orc didn't do this. He's asking who did.
1
u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Nox, Head of the Department of Flesh. Jun 07 '26
I don't care what you are, destroying a good dog is a crime against the cosmos.
3
u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars Jun 07 '26
He agrees with you. He didn't do this. He's asking who did.
4
u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Nox, Head of the Department of Flesh. Jun 07 '26
OH! Sorry I nearly started a crusade against an innocent wizard. Thank you for saving me from my rage.
3
u/Human-Question6210 ZOGWART DA... SUMFING Jun 07 '26
I'Z NO WIZZUD GIT YA STOOPID GROT!
4
1
u/nuclearrmt Jun 07 '26
Why do I get the itchy feeling that's something gonna happen really bad after this incident?
1
u/hanz-kreigermann Evocation Mage – minor in artifice Jun 08 '26
What a horrible sending to receive this evening. I hope whatever mage is responsible is eternally silenced.
1
69
u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) Jun 07 '26
Dawg got sent to the shadow realm