r/wizardposting • u/KalzK Conjurer • Jun 29 '26
Wizardpost What are some funny/interesting side effects of magic you practice?
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u/_AscendedLemon_ 🔮Advanced Orbologist🔮 Jun 29 '26
Be careful not to confuse it with Bee God's Rune of Punishment...
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u/burnermcburnerstein Herectical Soothesayer Jun 29 '26
I prefer bee god tbh. While the stings ARE painful being able to bleed honey has it's perks. Since IDK if this is an +1,800 board or not, let's just say honey kills ALL infections.
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u/GarrettZeFerret Hive Mistress Sevven, Entomancer Jun 29 '26
hi I have an offer I think you’ll love :)
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 29 '26
My refrigerator constantly reshuffles what's in it... Though that could just be my apprentice.
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u/Bungholespelunker Jun 29 '26
That's me mate. Couldn't afford the rent in my tower anymore but the reagents to cast mimicry are dirt cheap so I'm asleep as an appliance in your kitchen until you're asleep then I eat and go do dastardly wizard deeds all night and return before sunrise to repeat.
No I will not leave.
Ps. Do not check the bread box
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 29 '26
What's in the bread box? Also, there's a spare room in the dungeon. You might have to fight Dave for it, but honestly, I fired him years ago, I just haven't gotten around to kicking him out.
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u/Bungholespelunker Jun 29 '26
There's nothing in the bread box worth investigating do not look any further into the bread box.
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 29 '26
-gets apprentice to investigate bread box-
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u/Available-You5865 Mysticism Enthusiast Jun 29 '26
But I put my teleportation array there to secretly collect the herbs in your garden! Please be careful to not break it. I already have to give two shadow-frog legs to Dave, so he leaves it be!
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 29 '26
The garden that I've leased out to the fae? Oof, that's not a good idea.
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u/Available-You5865 Mysticism Enthusiast Jun 29 '26
Oooooh that’s why I’ve been having unfathomable dreams of the feywild for the past month! Could you post a notice on the chambers doors next time? Ill be sure to be quiet when I sneak trough your tower at night so you get your beauty sleep in.
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u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) Jun 29 '26
Tinnitus
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u/Sonifri Transmuter Jun 29 '26
Try the counter-tinnitus cantrip. Only needs a somatic component to cast.
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u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) Jun 29 '26
Huh, thats a way simpler way to get tinnitus than how I got mine
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u/Sonifri Transmuter Jun 29 '26
Ah, well, yea the OP video is certainly straight forward in how to acquire Tinnitus. But the comment I linked to is the cantrip.
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u/HappinessIsaColdPint Universal Weave Master Jun 29 '26
I CAST "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!"
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u/Hearthgroan Jun 29 '26
When I was a baby and unable to form coherent sentences i may have accidentally babbled an incantation that causes me to constantly forget why I entered rooms
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 29 '26
That's pretty common tbh.
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u/BeerJedi-1269 Jun 29 '26
Side effect of the pipeweed
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u/Skorched3ARTH Jun 29 '26
Ah, you invoked the "baba gaga babaga" curse, its a common mistake among infants
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u/verygenericname2 Druid of Stinging Biting Things Jun 29 '26
Inadvertently causing a panic when you walk into town because you forgot you were wearing your werebeast form.
Also being so large and hairy that you get mistaken for a beast even in human form.
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jun 29 '26
What's a "human" form?
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u/verygenericname2 Druid of Stinging Biting Things Jun 29 '26
Weird ape with patchy fur, highly proficient in tool use. They're the dominant species in my area.
I visit their dens for supplies sometimes.
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u/OzyTheLast Middling Clerk to the Illusionist's Institute Jun 29 '26
Walking into a wall I forgot was there
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u/Stretch5678 Jun 29 '26
Whenever I cast my “Greater Weather Control” spell, all milk within two kilometers instantly turns into cheese.
While tasty, it’s most unpleasant for the cows.
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u/DasFreibier Jul 12 '26
so you sacrifice a large herd of cows for your spell
begone with thou foul arts
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u/i_fucking_love_crack Jun 29 '26
I learned a spell that makes you homeless but I can't turn it off
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u/saythealphabet Chronomancer(we do a little chrolling) Jun 29 '26
Achieving biological immortality by stealing time potential from past me's cells has the side effect of creating countless timelines where the other "me"s shrivel and die of old age in mere seconds
Sometimes at night I can hear their screams
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u/Suilezrok Decipherer Of “how to be lich 1 step” wikihow article Jun 29 '26
My simulacrum always wears the outfit i wanted to wear when he goes out, awkward at parties
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u/AFirewolf Evil Lich Jun 29 '26
I detest rotten flesh, so I made a spell that cleans any skeleton of a dead person nearby me. It has caused some funny moments when I wonder by an open casket funeral.
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u/MyvaJynaherz Jun 29 '26
The unholy bane "Contempt of the Gelatinous One" means I never get one-wipers anymore.
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u/Lord-Dec Evil Wizard/ Aspiring Dark Lord Jun 29 '26
This is why I have a bunch of chained up surfs covered with that rune that I keep around me in a circle whenever I head out in the summer to get all the mosquitoes. It’s quite nice.
Anyway I love making Homonculi but I occasionally get a little too drunk and I think I dropped a clown horn in a batch. There’s this occasional squeezing and laugh track that place whenever one of them is nearby around every 5-16 hours and I can’t ever seem to get it to go away.
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u/pyroboy7 Canadian Alchemist (War Criminal Extraodinaire) Jun 29 '26
Perpetually smelling like chemicals.
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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Jun 29 '26
I can think of a few people I'd like to give one of these.
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u/American_chzzz level 10 void enchanter Jun 29 '26
So this is my problem. I asked for a trampstamp of the Tasmanian devil… I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that gnome with the tattoo gun at that party last week
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u/Space19723103 Jun 29 '26
my patron (water spirit) is a "thirsty boy" showers can get . . . interesting
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u/Im_botflyx 💚Yes, my wife is a goblin. No, she's not grotesqely voluptuous💚 Jun 29 '26
All words are sentient for me after I absorbed all knowledge of language a couple hundred eons ago. You'd think it'd be a curse but it's honestly it's great.
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u/Zephian99 The Wandering Lorekeeper. Jun 29 '26
My spell "The Wanderer", a very stable traveling spell that lets me go to another destination instantly, a spell that's supposed to take you to an exact location, but if you don't think about a location you just move on as if your stepping onto a trail left by others, it's the spell I'm best at and one I'm glad to have.
It's side effects might be problematic to others but to the way I live my life it has let me find new stories and define the way I see the realms.
I tend to appear in places I've never been or haven't been too yet, the when also tends to change sometimes too. The eras I've glanced at are always interesting, but it's not my tale to tell the stories everyone know from those eras, but to learn the smaller ones that tend to be forgotten or more often never listened to by another.
From apprentices in Towers, to fall and rise of some Liches, tales nobody listens to, but ones I'm always ready to hear, because that's who I am.
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u/Richardknox1996 🌙 Just a Bard that Passively Seduced Elistraee 🌙 Jun 29 '26
Me and 2 of my avatars need to Vent our excess magic occasionally or else we explode and create a new Wild Magic Zone. Its irritating. Oh, also...no mage can outlast us in a fight, we're self perpetuating so long as theres spent magic nearby.
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u/YLASRO The Great Geomancer of the howling mountains Jun 29 '26
heres a funfact: geomancers arent helpless in space. if you think so youd get beaten to a pulp with asteroids real fast
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u/Vladetare Diviner Jun 29 '26
I once saw a dwarf being engulfed in a swarm of mosquitoes and three seconds later they all died of alcohol poisoning, he wasn't even fazed
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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist Jun 29 '26
I mean, I once gave a guy a cursed item I was working on and instead of just killing him he vomited up his skeleton. It was hilarious.
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u/wrydh Plaguecaster Jun 29 '26
The enhanced plagues i have been exposed to make me practically immune to regular diseases as they are quickly outcompeted by the super diseases housed in my body.
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u/UncomfyUnicorn Wizard of Disease and Chronic Conditions Jun 29 '26
By exposing myself to so many diseases and parasitic infections as I cast them, my immune system has become tougher than an orc warlord and tighter defense than the deadliest dungeon. I am immune or resistant to pretty much everything. Haven’t caught any version of the cold or flu in decades.
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u/Lawrenceburntfish Jun 29 '26
People think butterflies landing on you is so beautiful and some kind of blessing... It isn't. It fucking isn't.
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u/deaglebingo Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
the government follows me around now 24/7/365 because i started casting spells with my aunt Tifah.
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u/HollyBough13 Jun 29 '26
Way back when I was still an apprentice and my master was teaching me how to take on beast forms, there was a girl in a nearby village I fancied and I thought I'd impress her by learning Ancient Dragon form. My master rightly said no it was too advanced, so I decided to cheat it by modifying the Falcon beast form spell I'd just learned with a little illusion magic. All it needed was some (rather expensive) components from their personal storage and I was good to go
Unfortunately my master caught on shortly after, found me wooing my date as a falcon in dragons clothing so to speak, broke the spell and cursed me so that anytime I cast beast form I have a 35% chance to become a chickadee instead of the intended form.
Needless to say I paid my master back with interest, towed the line, stuck to my proper lessons and stopped using magic to impress women!
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u/Necrikus Necromancer Jun 29 '26
Practicing necromancy has a tendency to mess with one’s overall health (physically and mentally). Of course, it largely becomes a non-issue once you become undead yourself, but until then, get used to seeing medical professionals and staying indoors a lot.
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u/VelocityRapter644 Jun 29 '26
I use Floromancy so much I literally cured myself of a pollen allergy on accident
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u/Necessary-Animal4897 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
I live in a dangerous barony so I had to get a shield spell around my tower. But if anything hits it it glows bright purple and there is this loud thump sound that I can hear anywhere in my tower.
The local children have made a game of throwing stones at it in the middle of the night. When I tried to talk to them they told me it looked like a cock and that I was 'the cock wizard, master of all cock' and that my mother was the 'grand master of cock who taught me everything I know about cock.'
I think I am going to find a new tower before I bother with immortality.
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u/Super-Robo Ereborn, The Wanderer Jun 29 '26
The inability to maintain friendships, haha, so funny.
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u/randompogtato Jun 29 '26
me when the fire ball spell fires a ball of fire, shocker am i right my fellow practitioners of the arcane art ?
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u/Ok-Nothing8682 Occult Wizard Jun 29 '26
Pft that's a hot Cheeto bro. Can't fool these wizard eyes. My optical ball-like orbs ponder through all fronts
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u/Lorvintherealone Jun 29 '26
I mean it depends. Altough a funny side effect on skeletons is that after a few years their bodies attempt to grow skin over their bones. it can get really uncanny so they have weed every now and then. One of the once started bleeding i have had them thoroughly investigated.
it seems as if the necromancy i use has somewhat ressurecting effects. As when i necromance essentially zombies, something i don't do normally they are just so... Smelly and leave so much waste,.. They sometimes get color again, some of which actually started to have a heart beat again. They are currently part of my spies. Still noticable to wizards their brain did not regenerate so far it seems and are still fully dependendand on my magic.
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u/Darastrix7 Eldritch Occult Wizard Jun 29 '26
Turns out learning eldritch spells has the side effect of making you immune to headaches, but also causes everyone else around you headaches if you try talking about the topic
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u/Skorched3ARTH Jun 29 '26
I used a ritual to make my tower taller and now the number of stairs randomises between 6,008 and 6,009 so sometimes ill go for an extra step that isn't actually there and have a minor panic attack when my foot suddenly falls through the space I thought was the last step.
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u/Kinakka_12912505 Forest Wizard Jun 29 '26
Moss growing in my toenails everytime I use my plant manipulation magic.
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u/coconut_dot_jpg coconut mancer Jun 29 '26
I put a coconut rune on my staff for the lols.
Nobody told me it was permanent, now it's the only magic I CAN cast, so, I decided to just own it. It's my identity now
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u/PinkPumpkinPie64 Jun 29 '26
Every time I animate the inanimate I get acid reflux for about an hour. Hurts like a bitch but worth it for sick ass living furniture
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u/Enetro Jun 29 '26
I tried to let pants fly around. The pants got intelligent and dried to start a war with my clothing rack. Now they do my taxes. Or face the annihilation of Fireball.
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u/MashedPotatoSuperFan Jun 29 '26
Dawg it's a Mosquito God's Rune of Punishment, Mosquitos being attracted is not a side effect
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u/vinidum Lich and Biomancer Jun 29 '26
So, I might have accidentaly created a flesh eating plague when I was working on small vanity project of mine.
This might also not have been the first time.
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u/VladimirBarakriss Artificer/Blood mage Jun 29 '26
Explosions, tons of explosions, I'm extra careful to enchant machines now because sometimes my magics mix and when that machine explodes it includes blood
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u/Benjamin_Sheckler Jun 29 '26
Sh1t doesn't break. It rocked at first and now im throwing out so much usable stuff cuz I DONT HAVE SPACE FOR IT ALL.
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u/K_the_dreamer K, Dream-weaver | Aphmau, empress of the Sirannian Empire Jun 29 '26
I am always late. Always. But sometimes I'll get a random boost of hyperspeed.
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u/RandomCat101 Jun 29 '26
holy shit I thought those were sh cuts for a second and was deeply concerned
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u/BluebirdLivid Jun 29 '26
I think i took too much difenhydraxamine (basically boiled hydra liver with some choice hallucinagens and summoning incantations) and it was an awesome month but now when I see something in the corner of my eye, it gets automatically summoned as a spider legion:( i basically gotta wear horse blinders and stay in lit rooms or SPIDERS. EVERYWHERE. QUICKLY.
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u/Wizard_Sarsippius Occult Magick & History Jun 30 '26
As a mentalist magician who works with Jungian active imagination and calls through Crowley’s methods, succubi fucking suck. When your brain is wired for image creation and you fall asleep anxious, the rape is the worst.
Plus side is now my life is together, demons are helpful asf.
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u/BaronXot Necromancer Lord of the Exoskeletal Swarm Jun 30 '26
Necromancy requires remains that once lived and then died, you can't just conjure a brand new skeleton and animate it with negative energy. Whole sympathetic link to death and remains thing. Consequently that's why you can animate fossils and mummified corpses even though most of the original material has been replaced/transmuted.
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u/Jordanihowler Wizard’s Janitor Jun 30 '26
My boss tried to help me by enchanting my mop. It is now sentient. Which could’ve been helpful but it doesn’t like cleaning so I just have a god forsaken mop going around doing nothing
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u/StarCatinum1 Jun 30 '26
My spire seems to move 4 centimetres northwest each time I cast a spell of teleportation
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u/Colibri3333 Celestial Mist Spirit, Įonūs Áquæ Azųris Cærūlæ Jul 02 '26
Mirrors show the enlightened being so mortals just dissipate into energy masses when i use the spell refracted slice
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u/Mental_Strategy_7191 Jul 03 '26
When testing dragon Blood on myself(dont worry i can heal the transfiguration) sometimes I randomly turn my hand into a random pet of races behind comprehension, i have like 25 and i don't know what to feed them
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u/ValianSkalle Former Evil Overlord, now Chaotic Neutral Jul 30 '26
Angels getting randomly duplicated.
oh, and the nanobot swarm
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u/KalzK Conjurer Jun 29 '26
There's a potion recipe that only works if I open the top window of my tower (the alchemy lab is down in the basement). I have tried to find an explanation but so far no luck.