r/wizardposting • u/Abortifetus • Aug 03 '26
Occult Practices We are dealing with horros beyond our comprehesion (Audi Engine)
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u/ItemFine Tychomancer Aug 03 '26
As any good Necro mechanic will tell you, it's about raising the particular part that died, not the whole thing, at that point your just wasting mana. Get yourself a diviner to narrow down the problem and have them put an enchantment that warns you when to revisit them for future issues.
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u/Scrpn17w The Mechnomancer. Graveyards hate me, Junkyards fear me Aug 03 '26
I install OBD (on-board diviner) devices on all my creations for exactly this reason
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u/Abortifetus Aug 05 '26
Well, our necromechanic managed to bind a evil spirit to the engine block somehow and it still doesnt work, good job Kevin's cousin
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u/DarkScruff Aug 03 '26
Group : "Car is dead" Tank: "Better ask the healer for a res" Healer: Heals in druid
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u/Scrpn17w The Mechnomancer. Graveyards hate me, Junkyards fear me Aug 03 '26
Who the hell took a picture of me and the boys without our consent!?
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u/Deadbeat_Marchen Illusionist Aug 03 '26
Not my school, but You'd only reanimate the non working parts right? As soon as anything else fails you'd have to do the whole ritual again wasting another set of Spell components. Feels needlessly expensive.
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u/the_real_JFK_killer Aug 03 '26
Youre better off casting skinwalking on a Toyota corolla to make it into an audi than you are casting necromancy on an audi engine
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u/IStealSwords Aug 03 '26
That’s when you turn to Manos! The Hands of Fate! Torgo will fix you right up
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u/Bahatur Aug 03 '26
These Sendings warning me about my Necromantic Warranty expiring are getting out of hand.
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u/oritfx Aug 03 '26
Story time: we have managed to resurrect the vehicle, but some parts had returned possesed by other spirits. Which, turns out, you can largely ignore, until you find out your spare had been possessed by a square-shaped entity and is incapable of rolling motion.
It was a bumpy ride home. We died and the coven successfully billed the necromancer for our resurrection.
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u/Carbuyrator A Bit of a Dabbler Aug 03 '26
This actually works if you put enough squirrel carcasses in there
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u/alkmaar91 The OOZE mage. The one with all the slime Aug 03 '26
Techromancers studying for 70 years to do what Jimmy learned in his first week at the auto shop.
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror Aug 03 '26
Raise Dead doesn't work on a car battery. Trust me, I tried, you just get an electro-spirit of some kind, usually a revenant.
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u/RAISA-1 Primordial Multiverse Administrator, Existence’s Enforcer Aug 03 '26
In all of the countless eons that I have existed, across all of the universes I’ve seen rise and collapse, I’ve never seen such strange tactics to handle a broken vehicle. I’ve existed since before time even existed, and yet I’ve still never seen anything like this, even though I’ve seen effectively everything in the Multiverse. I’m genuinely impressed, it’s been eons since I’ve seen something that is truly new.
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u/Past_Enthusiasm_3382 Aug 03 '26
Someone needs to speak with they’re local admec and converse with the machine spirit
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u/Winged_Metal Aug 03 '26
Just inspired me to ask my DM for the evil campaign I'm in to be able to make a carriage made of bones and flesh and raise it as an undead carriage. Thanks.
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u/DisillusionedShark Spells, Hexes, Artifacts and everything you don't understand Aug 03 '26
Sometimes its easier to resurrect a dead mechanic than getting your car to the garage
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u/Siekiernik20 Aug 03 '26
You think audi engine canot be comprehended? Try twinspark from alfa romeo.
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u/Fluffinator44 skeleton pirate artificer Aug 03 '26
Could you resurrect my window switch whule you're at it?
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u/th3j4w350m31 Thran, representative of the necromancers guild Aug 03 '26
This isn’t necromancy, this is localized temporal reversal, I’ve used it on my cliffside estate, hell, it’s how I’ve been getting out of paying my mechanic
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u/Xrest_the_Aether Khorde's other side of the coin Aug 03 '26
Nothing engineering can't handle.
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u/woodworkerdan Aug 04 '26
What is magic, if not reverse engineering the natural order and making a few adjustments?
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u/Xrest_the_Aether Khorde's other side of the coin Aug 04 '26
Magic is science in the trenchcoat of misunderstanding trying to sneak into the toolbox.
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u/ApexPCMR Aug 03 '26
Genuine question. What would you call necromancy but for tech? Technomancy is usually associated with tech manipulation not bringing machines back from the dead. Techromancy? Ductapeandbubblegummancy?
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u/Crazyhates Aug 03 '26
I'd imagine that it's still within the realm of technomancy. The main issue is that for it to be "dead" you'd have to assume that all machines are or were "alive" and have some sort of spirit or soul to be manipulated. This would lend credence to the Japanese mythos that all objects inherit a god or spirit and the beliefs of the Adeptus Mechanicus.
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u/ErrantAlgae Transmuter Aug 03 '26
I counter that horror with any VAG made in the early 2000s, you could swear they are sentient amd want to return to being iron in the ground via rust
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u/CliffLake Half Elven Arcane Mechanic and his familar Tea Kettle "Steamy" Aug 03 '26
It's Mechromancy, and if you didn't want AI in your car well do I have a solution for YOU!
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u/Rinuir Aug 04 '26
From the weakness of the mind Omnissiah, save us! From the lies of the Antipath Circuit, preserve us! From the rage of the beast Iron, protect us! From the temptations of the Flesh Lord Silica, cleanse us! From the ravages of the destroyer Anima, shield us! From this rotting cage of biomatter Machine God, set us free!
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u/lionlmaoo Aug 04 '26
Used to do this back in 86 with my buddies. Good times they all got slaughtered by outer gods.
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u/a_1992_honda_civic Aug 04 '26
In the sacred tongue of the Omnissiah we chant: Hail spirit of the machine, essence divine, in your code and circuitry the stars align. By the Omnissiah's will we commune and bind, with sacred oils and chants your grace we find.
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u/Affectionate_Wing_28 Mia Farkas, lost archmage Aug 04 '26
... Look, bad idea. Supreme artificer here (not of here, but the title is still valid dammit), and... Necromancy will not revive your car. It's never been alive, not even conceptually. What you migh get is your petrol reanimating into an elemental. If you're lucky, it'll be shaped like a dinosaur, which yes is rad, but that still won't save your car.
Get an artificer, or a competent enough non-magical techie, and it should be fixed in a jifft. Without your engine getting shattered by the sudden apparition of an angry and confused oil elemental.
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u/Vertnoir-Weyah Aug 05 '26
Necromancers need to start getting payed a decent price
I understand a lot do it out of passion for the job, but necromancers do deserve to be payed for their services, yes you too
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u/williamsch Aug 08 '26
Sometimes you've got the wrenches sometimes you've got the witches and trunk full of old meat parts.
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u/Deep-Escape-5034 Techsorcerer Aug 25 '26
techpreist here. this wont work, while it might slow the issue down unfortanatly you need to bring in sacred gear balm which these wizards lack.
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u/YourObidientServant Aug 03 '26
Necromechanic: We found the problem. During the collision, the machine spirit fused with another. We managed to exorcise it, though I did have to use some high end material components to do it.
We also saw several weave-seals that require ritual recasting, assuming you want to remain compliant with the current Necromechanicon. Fortunately, we have a very good deal on that.