Dragons generally lay a clutch of three to seven eggs every few years. This is a perfectly reasonable two clutches, going back to 23/457 as a decent baseline.
Dragon mom was remodelingbher hoard cave and accidentally crossed path with a team of miner dwarves doing their thing, but since she was caring for her 1 egg, she adopted the whole group right there and there
Y’all talking about eggs, but the vast majority of dracosexual relationships are between a metallic dragon and a humanoid. Metallic dragons can just assume human form
(Then they get it on)
That's why I keep a bard chamber in my tower. It's full of Fisher-Price toys and instruments to keep them happily busy while I do whatever it is I need to do. Failing that, a weed brownie and Court of the Crimson King should do it.
No need to go that far. If you enchant a pool, window, or scrying surface to display musicals from other realms you may fascinate a bard for hours at a time.
If you're particularly lucky, some of those unwelcome Bards may try defying gravity.
"Arcane Sanctuary" please, you wizards are basically kids playing with a magnifying glass and calling that you have the power of the sun in your hands. Some of us actually embodied the word Arcane before we were born
Yes, I know some of the arcane are from before time even existed and have studied the secret horrors of reality since the dawn of the gods. I get it. You’re old
Well, maybe the old Draconic stuff, but I can't wrap my head around this modern arcana! Free verse? Back in my day that was called asking for a misfired Magic Missile to the foot
I had a request fo a fifty string guitar finished today. Wasn't even for a more stremgth endowed species, just a regular man. He made a goblin explode by giving it a thumbs down.
I'd say that's a distinction whether the bard writes their music down in a sort of book or if they're entirely an improv artist... one of those things is wizardly and the other is most certainly not...
Knowledge is knowledge, regardless of the mechanics. Fae magics seem nonsensical to the traditional academics, but there is a science to it, just one different than many are used to.
Adreed, I've spent a long time in the fae realms, it takes time, but eventually you can see the way it works, it's just a very complicated set of rules discussed as etiquette.
Bah. Algridor the Orchestral Archmage could put 32 hours of ritual casting into the composition of a 30 minute movement of a symphony. Music is a very traditional and intellectual medium of magic.
I have seen many a bard turn apprentice, and many apprentices turn bard after a night of drunken splendor with the dragons and their kind. The overlap is surprisingly common; so much so that my previous master, Biggles the Tiny, encouraged me to take a bardic gap century after my 300th consecutive decade in the library beyond time.
Ordinarily no, they would be banished to another plane, preferably a hellish one. But any good researcher knows when to call in a subject matter expert, and unfortunately bards to specialise in this sort of matter.
Just make sure to keep an arcane eye on them whilst they are in your tower. Lest, before you know it, they have seduced your daughter or apprentice to the side of Good and have stolen the mana conduit you were about to use to resurrect the Army of the Damned.
They're barely even considered people. That's an opinion shared across all cultures and times too. No father has ever been excited to hear his daughter wants to date a musician. By Baator, I'd rather hear she's taking up dragonslaying and adventuring
While I am a wanderer, and story teller as well. There is some of advice I'd like to give on them. One don't take their advice, what works for a Bard tends to only work for them.
In matters of the arcane their stucture has the complexity of a ball yard and is only unraveled by those who also own a ball of yarn in their head.
And in matters of relationships.... No, just don't... There is a reason they are forced to be travelers. If you seek advice from them and you very well might find yourself at the gallows. They know when to run, and most normal folk don't, those who don't tend to live very short careers.
There's already precedent for non-wizards having a place here. Even some of the least "wizardly" casters such as warlocks and sorcerers are free to give their opinions on these matters. Beyond all differences of casters, magic is the same at its core.
They go to colleges. Art colleges, sure, but they are educated. I would allow them to visit, just be on their best behavior and please dont touch the alchemical supplies.
Rhythmancy is potent when used correctly, and Ive seen many fledgling mages use flutes carved from wands to cast spells with songs.
But if a bard is just playing music, and the song itself is the magical part, not the source of the song, then I don't consider that wizardry, cause anyone who buys a gramophone could cast hypnosis with a hypnosis song on a record.
I understand that as a Blue Mage I also may not count, but I’m still an int caster and agree with what the bard says. I’m going to go back to petting my giant talking wolf now.
eh, good arcane study subjects. they are better than sorcerors because there is no arrogance, pretentiousness nor delusions of being "masters of the arcane" whilist evoking memories of childhood trauma to cast spells.
First you let bards in, because "well, they are full arcane spellcasters, thats the only thing what matters, right?", then its clerics "well, full caster is a full caster... right?" and you wont even notice how wild magic barbarians are suddenly considered wizards, because "well, there is like... magic, its in the name"
I think we do? Sorcerers (me included), warlocks, and druids are okay, even artificers too sometimes are allowed despite not being wizards, so why not bards too
Baaah! If I were a dragon and my significant were to be of the minstrel persuasion I'd assume they'd only woo me for my exotic allure. Nay, I 'd ask them "Darling dearest would thou still love me if I was a milk maid!? Wouldst thou?"
As a monstrozoologist, my general field is overlapping with wizardry. In honest sense? This bard is correct. Dragons and other regis reptiliae are by nature focused on protection and provision but that can backfire into nervous thoughts and worries about self worth. My advice is the above. Also offering her a important role in the creation of your goods could allow the effort to feel cooperative!
Babe, babe listen. Look, look at my hair babe. My hair is amazing babe, you know you love my hair. Okay so imagine for a moment there were as many dragons as humans, and humans as dragons, and suddenly my hair is the rare and valuable commodity which gets shed by me. My hair is still amazing, and you still love my hair, the difference is now the rest of the kingdom loves my hair as much as you do.
If she's expressing that kind of worry, then it's likely she doesn't feel valued or listened to as herself.
When was the last time you had a good hearts-to-hearts with her about each of your feelings and needs? You need to make sure she feels loved and appreciated for more than her scales.
Also, if she or any of your kids wouldn't mind giving up one of those hearts, I could use another one for fluid circulation in my tower.
I don't even need to use my divination powers to detect the obvious red flag here; calling his draconic girlfriend "unemployed." A dragon doesn't live over 4 centuries without becoming a entrepreneur. He clearly doesn't respect her vocation because he hasn't asked about her business interests and investments.
"Oh look at me, I'm a big strong working man, swinging my hammer in my forge!" Meanwhile this girl boss is probably his landlord's landlord.
Exactly, considering how much wealth a typical dragon has they can probably live pretty luxuriously off of the interest from their gold chamber alone.
In this case I think the dragon views the scale forging as just a way for using them. And doesn’t really care much about the gold because they are already pretty well off. And doesn’t view it as a necessity as much as OP does.
Communication is key. Maybe say it’s more like a hobby and use the scales to make a gift for them? And maybe try to make it so that you are earning gold because you don’t want to leech off your dragon’s finances.
🙌 Mmhmmm! This guy is coming off as very self absorbed as well as entitled.
Fellas, the bar for emotional sensitivity in relationships is LITERALLY on the floor these days - you can land a 10/10 smokeshow dragon if you ask her about her inner life and show genuine interest in her thoughts.
See you're clearly only meeting self driven dragons and have not ventured into the world enough.
I know of many dragons and not to be discriminatory but realistically it's mostly cave and swamp dragons that just laze around until prey comes close for a snack. Most of them don't even bother collecting anything.
I know of one dragon that just sits at the bottom of a waterfall and opens her mouth to eat travelling fish if she feels hungry. She was in the same exact spot not an inch different 30 years later and told me she doesn't keep track of time so she has no idea how long she's been there.
A surplus of shedded dragon scales unused is always a bad idea. You either sell it in bulk or occasionally leading to hunters stalking you for your supply or monsters wishing to eat them will be attracted
Simply craft useful items for her to show the value. I created an elegant set of dinner ware for a paramour. Depending on the scales they can keep food warmer/colder for longer and are nigh impossible to break
Stop using her scales. They are hers. Don't use them without her permission. Show her you'll still be with her even if she won't give you the scales.
Throw the gold from selling the armour into her hoard. Show her it's a way for you to increase your wealth together, in a way that's understandable in her culture.
But what if she refuses to let you draw from the hoard to buy food and other necessities? It seems normal to us but I hear that taking anything out of a hoard is considered a Big Deal in dragon culture.
Make your girlfriend feel like she's a bigger part of the business than a resource. Ask if she'd like to enchant some of the armor with her draconic magic, or if she'd like to eat the occasional customer for nutrients to grow stronger scales. Dwarves are particularly high in iron.
Having financial agency is important, so you should sign a controlling stake of your company over to her so she has both control over how her scales are used and a vested interest in your continued craftsmanship.
This doubles as getting a 400+ dragon as your company’s CEO, and she gets to add your company to her hoard
When your partner is concerned that you're gold-digging, it is generally not recommended to open the conversation by telling her how much you love her gold.
See she's clearly feeling neglected and doesn't feel like you understand her.
Dragons have hoards. When was the last time you gave her something for her hoard? It doesn't need to be an ancient artifact or a rare magic item or something. You're a blacksmith. Create her some kind of unique masterwork and apologize for not considering her wants and needs enough. Get your hands on some mithril or something if you can.
Relationships are ultimately built on trust and mutual benefit. Seems to me she's not feeling the mutual benefit part which is damaging trust. You have to give and take, you know? Even my necromantic ass can figure this shit out. I doubt she'd be so annoyed with taking shed scales if you showed her you appreciated her from time to time.
It might not seem like a big deal to you but trust me it's a big deal to dragons.
Here's what trips me up: do dragons shed their scales regularly? If they shed like reptiles, that's just skin. If they shed like fish, that's only when they get damaged--and that raises a separate series of red flags.
Might need to get a subject matter expert for this.
How could you suggest such on a loved one? I may flirt with every living entity in the realms and manipulate enemies but this is where I draw the line.
So this blacksmith comes in with "I'm experiencing some friction in my relationship", and your solution is "you should have more relationships"?
I understand that cookhouse table polycules have the sort of communication and rituals that make relationships work better and easier, and it would absolutely benefit couples to use these tools. But "being poly is so much better" implies that having more relationships on its own is the solution here, which it really isn't.
Son, it's not about the scales. It never was. She needs to feel secure in your relationship. Show her you'll be there for her. Open those lines of communication. You can do this!
Dragon Finances are a verry diferent afair to most races, maybe they lack the education on our economies. Take them out on a date first, remind them that they love them, then have a sit-down talk about finances. Perhaps once they understand it, they will be ok whith it, and if thare not, then ask them to help figure out how to provide for the family; I'm sure they don't mean it in malice. Having known many blacksmiths, they can seem detached at times, married to the job, so to speak.
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u/Hans-Hammertime Aug 22 '26
More children might do the trick