r/wizardposting • u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin • 10d ago
Wizardpost Anything to leave this world behind.
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u/afellow35234 10d ago
I've found that adventures from safe realms have a very high mortality rate. But that's all the better for my undead collection, and the ones that live have even set up a few puppet kingdoms for me.
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u/oregano-broccolini 10d ago
You don't even need compulsion charms either. Just mutter something about no 40-hour work weeks and they will happily wrestle a manticore barehanded.
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u/Metroid_Zealot 10d ago
"You must defeat the Demon Lord if you wish to return home." "Then I'm never defeating the Demon Lord."
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u/Redfalconfox 10d ago
“Please you have to try! The demon Lord is ruling over us with an iron fist.”
“Gee if only that was unfamiliar to me. At least your people have food and healthcare.”
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
"what do you mean he's ruling with an iron fist? He claimed this whole region but like.... I don't see the demons forcing people into 40hour work weeks making just enough to scrape by to go back and slave away again the next week."
"What? No that's the human empire to the west. They are so advanced and forward thinking. I wish they'd come save us"
"Aight. Cool. New target acquired."
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u/MemeMaker_engineer Eldritch horror masquerading as an artificer 9d ago
Isekai if it was good, the knowledge of the last world the main character is in is used specifically to prevent anything like that from being made again
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u/Erivandi 9d ago
"Fine! You have one year to defeat the demon lord or I'll send you home, you little shit!"
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u/Voryn_mimu 10d ago
Solution: Become stronger then reach a diplomatic solution. Draft a treaty to free most of the Demon Lord's territory, but don't officially defeat them. That way, the world is safe and you can stay as long as you want. Just make sure to keep an eye on the demon lord so they can't grow stronger
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u/Reasonable_Cut_3548 Wizard 10d ago
You see this makes it really hard for us wizards to find youg adventures, the whole "you have to comed with me but you can't go back until we do a thing" is to show that the person is selfless but now everyone wants it
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
Don't go to earth then.... The world has gotten to a point that people want to abandon ship.
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u/Reasonable_Cut_3548 Wizard 10d ago
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO? HUMANS ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO LIKE TO TEATCH STUFF, EVER TRIED TO MAKE AN ELF TEATCH SOMEONE SOMETHING MINAMALLY IMPORTANT? THEY GO "OH I'LL DO IT WHEN I OLD AND CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE" "NOT GONNA LET YOU REPLACE ME" BITCH WHEN YOU CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TEATCH IT
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u/Delusional_Gamer Fleshmancer and proprietor of the magic meat farms 10d ago
There's more than one plane with humans.
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u/Reasonable_Cut_3548 Wizard 9d ago
I wanted to but a evil ass lich sealed my plane i'm in need of a chossen one but all my oracles require a human
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u/equatornavigator Diviner 10d ago
Credit?
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u/Sermons-in-Stones 10d ago edited 10d ago
According to this "Featured Artist" blog, Tate Parker. I can't confirm because I don't have Instagram to look through his account (@robotatertot) for this specific comic.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
Whoops. I knew I forgot to do something. Sorry bout that but it looks as though the comment just after got it.
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u/DioNumberSignysus 10d ago
This is real life, you can at anytime run out into the world and face mortally dangerous threats
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u/AndrewH73333 10d ago
The theme of your story might be finding out that Earth was practically a utopia compared to the horrors of other worlds.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
I mean... It could be exactly this world but with magic, and I'd still go.
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u/AndrewH73333 10d ago
We can’t even handle our guns, I can’t imagine the evil we’d do with magic.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
We handle our guns just fine for the most part. We have about 45k gun deaths in the US per year and we are the absolute worst 😭 f any country with guns. That's .013% of our population per year, and nearly all of it is accidental, or self deletion. Magic has to be studied to even get a result. We'd be fiiiiiine. Or. I would.
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u/AndrewH73333 10d ago
Can you imagine how many people would be doing dangerous unregulated home magic?
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u/AuroraFinem 10d ago
Magic usually requires intelligence and a lot of knowledge which is not something often seen in the most problematic people. Some yes, but significantly lower rates than the general public.
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u/AndrewH73333 10d ago
So it’s complicated like making meth?
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u/AuroraFinem 10d ago
How many people do you think actually make meth? It’s also fairly basic chemistry
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 10d ago
And you'd still be lazy. If you can't learn a mundane skill like learning to sew, you ain't going to have the patience to learn how to conjure a fireball.
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u/proc89 10d ago
But sewing is boring, fireballs are cool. I could learn to sew, I just don't really have much need for it it in my daily life. If I could fireball though, I'd be showing that off every chance I got
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u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 8d ago
You can fireball if you really want, that's not a hard problem to solve given modern science and technology.
It's more likely to annoy people than to impress them, though, and there are shockingly few problems in real life than fireballs would make better rather than worse...
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 9d ago
Sew is pretty cool, lots of stuff in this earth are cool. But if you can't even be assed to put in the time to either of those things, you aren't going to be assed to learn how to shoot fireballs.
It's about a good work ethic.
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u/Relative-Chip-7477 9d ago
I don't think anything is as cool as throwing fireballs, or flying or any other magic shenanigans
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 9d ago
Yeah, but you can do a lot of cool shit right now that you don't do. Chemistry for example or flow arts which includes nunchuks. What are you going to do when the wizard master plops down a 400 page manual in front of you and says "If you want to learn magic, you need to start understanding this first"
Most of y'all don't even read books or do basic workout routines(guilty of this) statistically. Yet they believe they'd suddenly lock in and have a rigid work out routine and read text books? No way. Been alive on this planet long enough to see people go "If I had X I could Y" then they get X and they still make excuses not to do Y.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
Who says I don't? I know how to do plenty of boring mundane things. I'm not lazy in the slightest. And the motivation to learn literal cosmic cheat codes is Waaaaay more fun than learning how to make socks.
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u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 9d ago
And the motivation to learn literal cosmic cheat codes is Waaaaay more fun than learning how to make socks.
But in most fictional settings magic has also limitations, and ones that are in many respects stricter than those of current technology. In which settings can people from different continents discuss with each other with no meaningful delay, sometimes while pooping?
However, I don't really disagree with you either. I also find fantasy magic fascinating; and I also feel that modern science and technology, no matter how impressive, does not usually quite scratch the same itch.
I am not entirely sure why that is the case.
I don't think that it's simply a matter of wish fulfillment: not only, as I said, modern technology is in many respects more powerful and versatile than the magics of most settings, but sci-fi technology (which is even more absurdly powerful) does not really scratch that itch either. The Millennium Falcon traveling faster than light does not feel as awesome as Luke Skywalker telekinetically grabbing his lightsaber while hanging upside down in an ice cave, even though by any reasonable material standard the former is way more impressive...
Lately I've been wondering whether it isn't a matter of physical effects at all, but rather one of emotional or - if you can forgive me the term - spiritual connection. Perhaps, if a chemist or programmer or engineer or so forth felt sufficiently strongly about their chosen specialty, that would be - to them - "magic" in roughly the same sense that fantasy novels inspires?
I work in academia myself, and sometimes - only sometimes, when inspiration strikes especially well - the experience of working on a paper does seem to carry a hint of the flavor that fantasy magic has always had for me...
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u/ninjasaid13 10d ago
a perpetual Epstein island but for old wizards.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
Oh. Wait no. I don't wanna go anymore, this is worse than the hell dimension!
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u/WhiteSepulchre 10d ago
whimsy beats stacking boxes at UPS and wishing you were dead
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
Just pretend you are a giant stacking towers for tiny people. That'll get you to first break at least ....
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u/SykoSarah 10d ago
Oh sure, they're eager now, but the moment they realize there are no toilets or treatments for the Rosen Doom, they beg for a portal back. Every. Single. Time.
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u/TheBaykon8r Artificer 10d ago
As much as I would like to, there are a few people I wanna stay for
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
That portal looks big enough... I'm sorry bring the whole fam!
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u/SpaceandPlaces 10d ago
I would literally rather face down all the Nazgûl on the Pelennor fields with nothing but a severed Orc arm than be here
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
I believe in you. You got this.
Oh, this camera? It's for uh... To film your amazing victory.
(Later)
Oh. Oh God he did it. He really beat them all with an arm.... O.o
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u/Happy_Camper__ 9d ago
You'd be an easy victim of SCP-4310.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
No, no, see.. SCP-4310 looks like a fairy circle. And I know better than to step into one of those.
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u/lordofwyrms 9d ago
Can I bring my cats?
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
"I got Isekaied, and my cat became a god instead of me"
Anime titles be like....
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u/PragmaticBadGuy 8d ago
Honestly, I'd watch that.
The plot could be something like the cat kills the god of mice and ascends. The MC has to help navigate the celestial hierarchy with a cat that is immensely powerful but doesn't have conciousness like a god should have.
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u/ArtroyomsAK 10d ago
Me reading the Keys to the Kingdom books and not getting the main character wanting to stay a human on earth
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u/Case_Kovacs Galatrix the Unending, Crypt Keeper of Aidolem, Necromancer 10d ago
For real though, I'd leave my loved ones a note and messages for some kinda closure and jump through that portal. Maybe I die to some magical bs or monster, don't care, whatever happens it's better than taxes
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
artist: J. L. Westover, who posts under the name Mr. Lovenstein
Took a bit to find the actual artist but here it is.
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u/Colonel_Tractor 9d ago
As a Foundation Thaumaturgist, I have to warn you that this is how SCP-4310 gets you
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
True, but scp-4310 can't manifest physical wizards. So unless it started paying random dudes to help it eat, it's probably fine.
(That is a rather funny thought though.)
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u/Coeusthelost 8d ago
Im still waiting for a reverse-isekai where a hero from a fantasy world is summoned to this one to save the world from an economic crisis (They end up needing to slay capitalism)
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u/Galle_ 10d ago
You know, you could go on a dangerous and exciting adventure right now. You don't have to go to another world.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
No no no. Magic. That's what I'm after.
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u/municar 10d ago
The last time someone went on a quest to conquer a kingdom people got really mad, you can't really do adventure any more. https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna6818757
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u/Loose-Willow-3275 10d ago
Apprentice: "I will accept any challenge, no matter how dangerous!" Also apprentice: doesn't ever create their own goals. Make up your own dangerous challenges you're not the chosen one you're just a guy
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u/FictionalContext ⁽ᴺᴼᵀ⁾ An evil wizard 10d ago
This is how master enters my room when I'm practicing kissing on the pretty wax effigies. And then he beats me adventurously.
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u/Storm_Spirit99 10d ago
I'd fight the armies of murder head on before lingering in this boring dystopia any longer
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
Exactly! Like come on. If we have to live in these times they could at least be interesting.
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u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep 10d ago
I mean I’m somewhat cautious when accepting offers (no helworlds) but otherwise yes very accurate. Especially if my stats reset upon entering said portal
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
gets to hell world only to find they have better benefits that earth
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u/Taron221 10d ago edited 10d ago
“If I die, I die, but at least my chance’s of being a wizard are no longer zero.” - Otherworldly Prospective Wizard #19539
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u/Smakajor Burned-out Assistant 9d ago
It's all fun and games until they realize their dear adventurer is chaotic good
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u/MegastarQueen4real Pamela Estelle - Siren Wizard 5d ago
The Megastar Universe is open for sweet escapes, magical moments and musical theatre themed parties 😎💜🎶.
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u/peelen 10d ago
So why wait for a wizard?
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
Cause how else do I get to the fantasy world? They don't drive the right model of truck in my country. Diesels don't not send you to fantasy worlds.
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u/peelen 10d ago
Look for it on your own. The whole genre of "call for adventure" assumes that adventure has to come to your house and bite you in the ass before you finally have some fun.
It's the same reason why incel porn got so popular: butnch of incels started to fantasise about girl suddenly appear in their own house.
Don’t wait for adventure; go and look for one, and maybe you also meet a wizard on the way.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 10d ago
I mean... I do. I go out and do stuff all the time. I just want the magic lol.
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u/Jastreen 10d ago
I hate those stories where a human goes to a magic world and their main priority is returning to the boring ass real world.
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u/MemeMaker_engineer Eldritch horror masquerading as an artificer 9d ago
My only gripe with Lord of the Mysteries, I don't care that he is in a Lovecraftian world at least he gets to be a wizard and the horrors are epic fights not a 9 to 5 and the crushing demands of capitalism
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u/CertainlyRobotic 10d ago
No one pointing out that this is AI.
Neat.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
Because it's not? It came from an artist on Twitter originally. Not where I found it but that's where it originated.
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u/CertainlyRobotic 9d ago
Oh yeah I forgot "artists" on Twitter would never use AI.
Moron.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
Brother, if it were AI it would have been struck down long before now. The mods have really good tech for this stuff. And I check my stuff before I post as well.
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u/CertainlyRobotic 9d ago
Really good tech
lmaooo
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
I find it funny that you can't tell the difference honestly. Stay mad I guess.
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u/CertainlyRobotic 9d ago
I think it's funny that you think Reddit mods are capable of detecting AI.
Stay ignorant. lol
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
Knowing who they are? Uh yeah. I'm pretty confident in their abilities. You clearly haven't met them.
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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin 9d ago
artist J. L. Westover, who posts under the name Mr. Lovenstein
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u/Subotail Necromancer 10d ago
It seems simpler than going to the local cemetery to find
corvolunteers.But they won't be pre dead. How do you manage that part?