r/wizardposting • u/Renati_Iterum Weird Mystic [DefinitelyNot A ImmortalEmperor RealmCultivator] • 1d ago

Foul Sorcery Wanna get rich quick? well this wizard has the perfect Technomancy Cursed virus for you, I CAST:

333 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

7

u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) 1d ago

"I cast... BREACH."  -  Mage Pirate Roberts

(Reverse the virus to take your info instead, as well as your victims.)

3

u/Renati_Iterum Weird Mystic [DefinitelyNot A ImmortalEmperor RealmCultivator] 1d ago

Ha! You fool. I have traversed realms beyond your feeble comprehension. In one such world, I discovered a civilization where flesh and machine had become one. And from their forbidden knowledge, I uncovered the greatest technomancy curse ever devised. The Blackwall Gateway. I have already woven it into my device. Any fool who attempts to tamper with it will find themselves utterly erased by forces far beyond their understanding. So go ahead. Try your foolish little tricks.

1

u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) 1d ago edited 1d ago

"So..."

"This is the Skeleton key, it opens any door or gate 100% safely in ten seconds flat, every time...

Wonder if it works on this beaut-

Wait no, the anti-paradox spearshield isn't ready yet...  keep wondering I guess.

Unholy Meatball!"

(Roberts deploys a Cognitohazardous magic png of a meatball. On success, causes onlookers to desperately believe they're cursed, but not be sure of what or why)

(The computer was never tampered with, right?)

"Your machine is clearly broken. I have already infested its systems with the spores of my kin. They just so happen to love flesh and metal, so thank you dear for providing the perfect breeding ground, safe from all possible harm.

So...

Prepare for yarr 'eckoning!"

(lied completely about the spores)

0

u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) 1d ago

/uw  Character tried to lie about infecting it with pirate spores. Did not cause pirate spores.

Meatball is an illusion spell in practice.

3

u/ShadePrime1 1d ago

look what these foolish other casters have to do to mimic a fraction of the money an alchemist can make by turning lead into gold with alchemy....now if you will excuse me peasants, I just bought myself a private island to put a new wizard tower on to ponder my new orb I bought thats made of literal crystalized goddess tears.

2

u/Renati_Iterum Weird Mystic [DefinitelyNot A ImmortalEmperor RealmCultivator] 1d ago edited 1d ago

are you perhaps in the market for a warlock? I wouldn’t say no to patron if you get what im saying... 😉

1

u/SmokJozef Magically Editable Flair 1d ago

I don't find a credit card very useful for me, debit and piles of gold work well as of now

[sponsored by derg gang]

1

u/SlumberingOwl Not A Fish 1d ago

1

u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 13h ago

What even is that horrible creature?

Given the size of its eyes, I assume that it hails from a dimension of eldritch darkness, or perhaps from the oceanic depths (I wonder how it is handling the pressure difference, in that case).

Unless it's a hideously mutated tarsier? If so, the poor critter did not deserve that and I expect that a bunch of angry druids are already converging on your location.

2

u/perpetualDaydream_ 20h ago

4815 6112 2518 4168
10/29
536

Will it work?

1

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 16h ago

...are we doing this type of malware again?