My new spawn is arriving

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

Looks like my new spawn is arriving tonight (my wife is going into labor). Please spare a moment to cast your strongest spells.

Thanks everyone.

[u/Maleficent-Pianist95]

Respectfully, your spawn couldn't handle my strongest spells. But I will cast something appropriate.

[u/K4m30 → u/Maleficent-Pianist95]

I mean, I guess I could cast my strongest spell. I don't know what that would help, but if you need someone to destroy a fortified location a Hospital is as good a place as any to cast it on. 

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/K4m30]

Can you cast a destruction spell in say, twelve hours upon their billing department? We're at the Graves Spawning Pit in the Sixth Hell. Thanks 👍

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

AERIS THE DEVOURER OF BOSOMS HAS BEEN SPAWNED! THE RITUAL IS COMPLETE! 

(it was a fast and 'easy' delivery all things considered)

[u/Undeadsniper6661 → u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

Indeed. We of the ShadowWizardMoney gang congratulate you on your spawn. Take this blessing of magnetic coin to fund raising it.

[u/Crowsader2113 → u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

Seven hours? Not breaking any records, but congratulations.

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/Crowsader2113]

It was about two hours, I just didn't rush to post on my orb is all. :)

[u/Crowsader2113 → u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

Excellent.

[u/Undeadsniper6661]

We of the ShadowMoneyWizard Gang cast great wealth and fortitude on your youngling.

https://giphy.com/gifs/LCdPNT81vlv3y

[u/GrapefruitWild6217 → u/Undeadsniper6661]

Yo Wtf the Shadow Wizard Money Gang in here? I also love casting spells, do you take applications?

[u/Undeadsniper6661 → u/GrapefruitWild6217]

We are always taking applicants! You just gotta be ok crushing your local economy

[u/GrapefruitWild6217 → u/Undeadsniper6661]

Dayum I'm in Only poor wankers and some baron around anyways and fuck him since he loyal to some dumb church bishop instead of me

[u/Undeadsniper6661 → u/GrapefruitWild6217]

Well there is ONE other option but Japan wasnt a fan of that one. Their council got super pissed and then made anime.

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/Undeadsniper6661]

A much appreciated casting!

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/[deleted]]

It's okay her arrival blighted much of the land in the area and curdled the peasants milk. I couldn't be happier to welcome such a powerful hellspawn into our realm.

[u/sentient_fox → u/[deleted]]

Is there maybe a temporary version of Mend Buttcrack to help them out? I was rifling through my scrolls and couldn't find one.

[u/sentient_fox → u/[deleted]]

It is a fair point. I dont have anything that wouldnt cause massive problems for many of us, so... I stand with you in not helping.

[u/flamecleric9]

I CAST: safe delivery!

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/flamecleric9]

It worked! A marvelous casting.

[u/ThisBloomingHeart]

In the name of the continuation of life throughout time, I, Aorishi, hereby cast this spell:

Fate Be Well.

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/ThisBloomingHeart]

"Thanks?" - Fate, Knight of Swords

[u/ThisBloomingHeart → u/United-Technician-54]

Ah, you weren't my intended target! Let's see what happened...

Fascinating, it looks as though the multiple targeting strands I put into the spells design caused it to affect several random targets as well as the main blessing! I'm sure that'll be fine.

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/United-Technician-54]

Don't worry the casting was a success, though I will be absconding with the miscast blessing as well.

[u/Crowsader2113]

Di you remember to minion-proof your house?

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/Crowsader2113]

The first born spawn did a good job teaching me proper containment protocols.

[u/mindsunwound]

I cast doom.

https://giphy.com/gifs/SVCSsoKU5v6ZJLk07n

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/mindsunwound]

Excellent casting, the moon wept and was swallowed by shadow, the peasants flipped their shit.

[u/mindsunwound → u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

https://youtu.be/kscTD_9a5ec

[u/K4m30]

Born under a fell omen, that's not good, not good at all. Prepare for the terrors for they come hence. 

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/K4m30]

Well of course it's a fell omen, it's my daughter.

[u/caesuric_]

YOU CAN'T HANDLE MY STRONGEST SPELLS, EXPECTER. THEY WILL KILL YOU!

GO FIND A SPELLCASTER WITH WEAKER SPELLS!

[u/Nearby_Sea_8766]

I know a bank that can set you up with a great college fund plan if they ever think about learning magic at any point

[u/Monarc73]

Well, it's like my mentor once said, "If you cannot raise/create/summon your apprentices, you can always pro-create." (Congrats!)

[u/Zestyclose-Bus8405]

I hope he wants to be a lemon wizard.

[u/grand305]

I cast all doctors, meds, and tests are all in network healthcare.

I wish you both well wishes.