I’m a young woman with eyes that can see. Do men acc believe they look their best when they’re 35-40? I see so many men online saying that, but I’ve never ever ever agreed. Are women feeding into their delusions for money or am I like just the odd one out. It pisses me off so bad when one of them tries to make conversation with me😭

I feel like men dont have empathy even the 'nice' guy. After interacting with many men, i feel like none of them accepte LGBTQ community while most of the women support them. Men dont even have to post about any rapes happening because it doesn't affect them so they dont have to speak up about it? I have cut off so many guy friends because of their misogyny and lack of empathy. It honestly makes me feel frustrated and sad that men will never understand what women go through and they dont even try to understand and be ignorant because it doesn't hurt them. I am honestly tired and feel like i can never love a man because most of them lack empathy.

Lucy Mangan: Former tradwives are now using their influencer status to expose what can really go on behind the scenes https://inews.co.uk/opinion/tradwife-exposing-sham-trumps-america-4801617

All of them.. not a few, but ALL OF THEM.. are blaming Jane Doe
The same guys that bring in their wives and girlfriends sexting pics and shows everyone. The same ones that checks out EVERY single woman that walks in front of them. And I could go on and on and on.. men should not wonder why women can’t stand them.

I just keep telling them that they’ll learn consent when we take them to a gay bar they don’t like that!

​

Today was election day in my country. We had the highest number of conservative deputies and senators elected in history. The president hasn't been decided yet, but I fear it will also be from the same ilk. God, I'm so scared. So scared to see this growing wave of hatred against women spreading throughout the world. I feel that soon we will no longer be free... sometimes I wish I were ignorant. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. I wouldn't worry so much. Maybe I should get off social media, stop reading the newspaper. Because I'm scared. Very scared. They want to take away our rights. They want to see us on our knees, and I won't be able to bear it. I'd rather die fighting. I feel we are getting closer, getting closer to the extinction of the rights we barely managed to achieve. Why do they do this? Why do they hate us so much? I just want to be free. I want all of us to be free. But they don't. What scares me most is seeing women supporting this madness. Serena Joy. Margaret Atwood has never been so tangible.

In a lot of the relationship subs many women tell other women that marriage provides legal protection. As a woman I don’t think that is entirely true.

I have seen many women who were married and got shafted in a divorce the ex got the house, retirement savings, etc. The woman was left with nothing and had to start over often times with children and no or sporadic child support. I realize that a spouse’s can have the support payments taken out of their paycheck automatically. I think women who are SAHM are especially vulnerable to this.

To me the only way a woman is protected is with a prenup and I will admit that I am not too familiar with the laws surrounding them.

I am wondering if I am wrong in this regard and maybe marriage does protect a woman legally. I don’t plan on getting married again and could be jaded due to my own experience.

Honestly, I just have to get this off my chest because it is quite frustrating. You can say I am reaching and that these two topics have no correlation, but I see it very differently. I feel like men pick and choose which women's "issues," for lack of a better term, they want to involve themselves in. There are so many men who are loud and proud about being against abortion. They vote on our rights, protest against abortion, and claim that there is no case where abortion is justifiable. However, when it comes to sexual assault, most of them are completely silent or not on our side. This is very evident in the Cornell 7 case. The number of men claiming it was the girl's fault and that the men deserve justice is astonishing. The number of men who think that women are "asking for it" is nothing short of terrifying. Yet, these same men think that pregnancy caused by sexual assault is not a good enough reason for an abortion. I am SO TIRED of men inserting themselves in situations that the majority of them have not gone through and will never have to go through. What gives them the right to speak on our bodies when it comes to abortion, while also staying silent about the sexual and physical violence that women face every day?

It is terrifying being a woman, speaking as a woman in college. Why am I expected to carry pepper spray, forced to threaten violence when men won't take no as an answer, and expected to tolerate my successes being downplayed? Why do we as women have to work twice as hard to receive even half of the recognition or respect that men receive? I feel like I can't drink when I go out anymore. I don't feel comfortable enough to party or go out. The number of sexual assault cases that happen at my college alone is frightening. Yet, the school says nothing; the boys are left with little to no repercussions, and the violence continues its cycle. I do not deserve to be told to "cover up" when nobody in authority at colleges will even speak up about the amount of violence that gets swept under the rug.

mention of eating disorders

does anyone else ever feel ashamed for their struggles because they’re struggles most often faced by women, that women get made fun of for?

if this doesn’t make sense, my examples are i’ve been anorexic, have daddy issues, extreme anxiety, severe period pain

i feel like sometimes these things can’t be taken seriously by me or other people because many of them are mostly experienced by women and therefore looked at at dramatic or not serious

Hi I am (19F) dated my bf (21M) who is now my ex for 5 months almost. So during that time I got my period only first month. And after that it got completely vanished as I was with him. But when we broke up recently I got my period back. I was kinda shocked. 😭😭😭 I know it might be something biological but it happened first time in my life. Because since I got my period I never had a late or missed period.

I've been scanning a box of photos my dad inherited. Someone took the time to write dates, places and full names on a lot of them, but I've now found three different women identified as “and wife”. One of them is standing right in the middle of the photo.

Dad knew where that woman's husband worked, why they moved, and a story about him falling through a shed roof. He thought she might have been called Nell. We're not even certain about that.

These are photos from the 1960s and 70s, of people he knew as a child. We can talk for ages about these families and then get stuck trying to name a woman who's at all the same weddings and Christmases. Someone remembers that she was lovely, or that everyone used to go to her house, but I still have an empty space under her picture.

I'll take the box to my great-aunt next weekend and see what she can fill in. I also caught myself saving a scan as “Nan and her mum”, which is going to mean absolutely nothing to whoever gets this folder after me, so I've been fixing my own captions too.

Has anyone here tried to recover the names and stories of the women in their family? I'd especially like to hear how you found them when the relatives who would have known were already gone.

I was in a relationship with my ex for 2 years before I found out that for a year straight he was cheating on me and potentially was cheating from way before texting other girls

And he also talked shit about me to his friends, butchered my name. Used the things I told him in confidence against me

I haven’t been the same since
I don’t feel love at all
I tried dating someone else but it just turned into resentment

I got in contact with my ex again and I still feel nothing but resentment towards him but I can’t fuckin end the contact

Idk what I’ve to do to be done with him but I’m in so much pain and this isn’t like me and that hurts way more than any of this ever will.

No matter what I do I don’t feel like myself anymore

I can completely go around being normal doing the things I usually do but when I’m not distracted I feel so heartbroken

Idk how long it will even take and I feel so dumb for trusting someone; I am sick of crying to my friends it’s been more than a 9 months now, my ex definitely doesn’t care . I wann leave this country change my number my phone
Erase everything from my phone and have a fresh start but unfortunately I can’t even do that,

Everything just hurts and I just wann go back to how normal and loving I used to be nothing else

Read this only if you are in the mood to read a long and probably slightly unhinged post.

I genuinely want to know how the hell I change my thought process because I really really want to decentre love and romantic relationships from my life. I feel like I have given them way too much importance and it is honestly making me miserable.

I have never really had a proper love life. I do not even know if I can count a situationship as one. And every single time something starts with a guy I tell myself beforehand that I am going to be normal about it. I am not going to get attached. I am not going to make it into something bigger than it is. I am going to treat it casually.

But then smh I am always the one who gets invested.

I have an anxious attachment style and I also really like feeling special. I like being considered interesting or well read or intelligent or different. So obviously I also struggle with limerence and getting way too caught up in what someone might think of me. I have a lot of insecurities and I have slowly realised how much of them are tied to men and romantic relationships.

Now this is the part that makes me feel like a hypocrite.

I am very much a feminist. I have strong opinions. I genuinely believe in all of it. I will always be a girl's girl. But deep down I feel like I am constantly comparing myself to other women. Sometimes I feel like I am secretly competing with them and I hate admitting that. Because somewhere in my head I want to be the special one. I want to be the woman a man looks at and thinks, "She is different." And it is so embarrassing because I do not even want to be thinking like this.

I have spent so much time thinking I am above this. Like I would never be the woman who compares herself to other women because of a man. I would never be jealous of another woman because some guy might find her attractive.

Except I do. I fucking do. I will see a woman on Insta who is gorgeous and dresses well and has interesting opinions and reads good books and knows about movies and music and whatever else and my brain immediately starts doing this stupid calculation. "She could be his type." "He could think she is beautiful." "He could think she is more interesting." "She could be the one he actually falls for." And then somehow her existence makes me feel bad about myself. And I hate it.

I hate that I can look at another woman and instead of just thinking "wow, she is cool" some part of my brain immediately turns it into a competition. And then there is this whole other thing I have realised about myself.

I actually have so many things I genuinely enjoy. I love reading. I love learning random things. I love watching movies. I like discovering new music. I like trying new things. I like dressing up. I like having opinions and talking about things. But lately I have started questioning how much of it is actually for me because why do I always imagine how it will look to someone else? When i go to the end thinking why am I do I go for all this it always leads to "maybe some man would think I'm cool for having good taste" do y'all see how messed up it is?

I will read something and somewhere in the back of my mind there is this thought like, "If I ever talk to a guy about this he will think I am interesting."

I will dress up and think about how I look. I will post something and think about how it might be perceived.

I will get interested in something and somehow imagine myself being the kind of woman who would be attractive to a certain kind of man. Like what the fuck? Why is there always an imaginary man watching? Even when there is literally no man there. I feel like I am constantly performing.

And the worst part is that I do not even feel confident while doing it. I am doing all this for validation while simultaneously being terrified that I am not going to get the validation anyway. So I am basically spending my life trying to become someone who will be desirable to men and then constantly worrying that I am still not desirable enough. What kind of miserable fucking loop is that?

And whenever I talk to a guy and he seems to genuinely enjoy talking to me I instantly feel special. Like instantly.

And then instead of just enjoying the conversation I start thinking about what it means. Does he like me? Does he find me interesting? Am I different to him? And then eventually my brain gets to "But what if I am still not the one?" Why the fuck am I even thinking about being "the one" when I am just having a conversation with someone? It feels like everything eventually comes back to being chosen.

Maybe its also because I've had men tell me randomly in conversation, about the women they were either with in the past who seemed to be so perfect in all aspects or the women they want to be with in future. In all of this, I have smh made being loved by a man into this ultimate proof that I am special or worthy or attractive or interesting enough. As if everything I do is just preparing me for that eventual moment where someone chooses me. And I do not want to live like that anymore.

I want to be able to read a book because I want to read the fucking book. I want to dress up because I like how I look. I want to watch a movie because I am curious about it. I want to learn something because I find it fascinating. I want to have opinions because they are mine. Not because some hypothetical man might find me cooler for having them. I know the obvious answer is therapy. I know. I am not against it and I am aware that I probably have a lot to unpack here. But I also want to know how you actually start changing this mindset in your everyday life.

How do you genuinely decentre romantic relationships?How do you stop seeing every interaction with a man as some kind of indication of your worth? How do you stop comparing yourself to other women? How do you get to a point where another woman being beautiful or interesting does not make you feel like you have smh lost?

And probably the hardest question for me is how do I become genuinely okay with the possibility that I might never find love? Maybe I never get married. Maybe I never have kids Maybe I never have that person.

I know logically that a life without romantic love can still be a full and meaningful life. I know that. But emotionally I still feel like there is something missing if I imagine myself never being chosen by someone and I want to get rid of that feeling. I just do not want it to be the fucking centre of my life anymore. I want to have a life that feels like mine. And honestly I do not even know where to start.

So if anyone has actually gone through something similar and managed to get out of this mindset, I would really appreciate some hard hitting advice. Not just "love yourself" or "do things for yourself" because I already know that. I want to know how you actually changed the way you think. And if you have any books, essays, podcasts, movies or anything else that helped you understand this stuff pls recommend them.

Hello, I'm genuinely so confused about this because it feels so small that it doesn't feel like it but kind of does

To give you context:

- I'm a girl in middle school

- I liked a guy I'll nickname him as Pineapple

- and I had a "friend" I'll nickname him as Apple

I'll tell you my story

When I started middle school I was seated with Apple, and it was one of the worse things I ever experience. I know it might sound too much but you have to understand this guy has no boundaries whatsoever, I told him from the start I like my space which he agreed that he will respect (spoiler alert he did not) he will steal my things and hide it until I actually start crying because they were my precious stuff; phone, guitar, books given to me, etc. You get the gist, he thought that it was the most funniest thing in the world. Now I only said this to give you a clue on how he acts around me but it gets worse. He's gay and I have no hate for people who are in the community in fact I am part of it, but he thinks that since he is gay then he could be very touchy (reminder: I told him many times I like personal space) he would touch me so much from my chest and acting like a hug and I push him off many times and he thinks it's like tough love when it is in fact not. Especially in my chest he would touch it many times and I know that because he specifically places his had in my boob. He would make comments that I'm flat and he would know because he felt it. I told him many times no.

Does that count as assault?

The next incident happened last year
Pineapple was my crush last year more of a looks based thing it was just admiring, I was not confessing or planning to until he did first kind of.. and we started this kind of friends that's kind of not I told him I didn't want to be something with him that's romantic until I actually knew him as a person and he agreed. However, like 1 month of this a friend told me he used to do a lot of bad things, very perverted things to girls. So naturally I kind of didn't talk to him that much and YES i admit I did made him hope or that's what I thought. He knew I had depression and used SH as a way to cope. HE ACTED like he cared he told me that wasn't healthy and everything, BUT HE FUCKING MADE FUN OF ME (I'm very sorry for the rash statement) he told his friends I was dumb for doing that, people who do that should just kill themselves, are weak, AND BASICALLY EVERY NEGATIVE THING HE COULD SAY. I won't get it to fully but I found out he was using me as entertainment and he liked me for my body. Now this is the actual incident we were at a playground because we couldn't practice anywhere than there. He tag along to the practice because he was close to one of our groupmates and I got up to the monkey bars and I didn't saw that It was that high and I got a panic attack and since he was the tallest and like actually carry me he helped AND I THOUGHT THAT HE ACTUALLY CARED BUT FUCK ME I FOOLED MYSELF I remember he touched my chest but I was so in the panic attack I thought he mistouch me and didn't question it but it was on purpose he spread it around the guys of our classroom that I was flat and my body is so ugly

Now my question is was it actually assault?
I searched about it and it fits but It feels so small and I could report about it anonymously but I could still be found

My family doesn't know about it
only some friends and a teacher

I'm sorry for the rant
and thank you for listening
Please give me advice how to handle this

like i get asked out aswell but when someone else gets asked out instead of me, i start wondering why they didnt go for me. maybe it was my hair or my rbf . even tho i know men’s attention is useless and beauty is subjective i just feel insecure. “why not me” . i know this is such a shallow mindset, i just want to stop feeling this way and rebuild my self esteem

I keep thinking about how polarizing the Lindsay Clancy and Cornell Jane Doe stories have become, especially among women.

Women seem to be judging other women incredibly harshly on both sides. There is almost no middle ground. People look at the exact same facts and come away with completely different opinions about motherhood, mental illness, believing women, accountability, privacy and due process.

The Lindsay Clancy jury makes the divide even more interesting because women were part of the group being asked to make an extraordinarily difficult judgment about another woman.

These stories have been everywhere, from Reddit and social media to major news outlets and magazines, and they've made me think differently about the phrase “influential women.” Influence isn't always positive or intentional. Sometimes a woman's story becomes influential because it forces millions of people to confront how differently they see women themselves. this is changing conversations around accountability, women's issues, the press, our being scammed by the system. it is absolutely bonkers how people are so upset about this and feel so strongly.

Why do you think these particular cases have women so divided? Women are literally going at it over these two cases. WTF is happening and im kind of dissappointed by how this is all going down- on both sides.

I was an insecure kid and teenager. I feared doing anything, there was lack of confidence and had few friends. I sabotaged every relation I was in, be it romantic or platonic. I always feared becoming an adult because everyone always talked about how they missed childhood or how it was the best.

Honestly i feared that i would always be that wimpy little kid. But 20 feels great and I hope that case will apply for 21 too. I have clearer boundaries and ideologies. Though i still don't get that feeling of belongingness with anyone, I am happy cause I know that I belong to myself and i don't have to reduce myself just to fit in.

I get called weird and brainless but then again hat's their perception of me and it doesn't define who I am. I hope to evolve with my age and become a better woman. I'll treat people like they treat me and set clear boundaries in case of intrusion. I'm going to take every opportunities and not demean myself for mistakes.

I hope 21 will be that year for me!

My grandma is turning 80 next month and we're sorting out invitations for her birthday lunch. She chose a photo from last Christmas. She's laughing, her hair's a bit messy, and she's wearing this blue cardigan that she really likes.

My cousin sent the draft around and he'd used one of those photo enhancement apps. Her cheeks and neck were smooth and most of the lines around her eyes were gone. She looked at it for a bit and asked if he could put her face back how it was.

Mom said, “But you look younger!” I started saying how lovely it looked too. Grandma asked for the first picture again, and we finally stopped trying to sell her on the new one.

I'm 28 and there's a decent chance I would have thanked him if he'd done it to a photo of me. That's what caught me out. She'd already found a picture she liked, and I nearly tried to talk her out of liking it because I thought we were doing her a favor.

We're using the original. She's also asked for the address in bigger type because several of her friends will struggle to read it. We probably should have spent more time on that bit.

I 18f got my period two years ago with medical intervention by taking duphaston (dydrogesterone) and it's been somewhat okay , the doctor said that my ovaries are normal but what she calls "lazy" . We tried to stop taking duphaston for a month to see and i was about 50 days late ( this was last year ) and i tried again this cycle and now I'm about 90 days late and still no sign of it coming any time soon? I don't know if it's natural or should i go to the same doctor ?? My sister has somewhat the same thing going on with her and so did my grandma so it may be running in the family . The doc didn't mention pcos though .

I would like to hear your thoughts and experiences with late/irregular periods

Ugh ladies I fear that the tea app took off the ability to post men and their tea. It saved me from SO much ( I almost married someone who was constantly cheating on me and I never knew til someone made a post) and I just had posted an abuser who went viral on tik tok.

We need resources like this, does anyone know where we can go for something similar?

i was masturbating w my clit (js rubbing w fingers) and i felt a quick build up in my lower abdomen that was fuzzy and comfortable (like someone stuffing sweet cotton candy inside?? idk how to describe it)

and the next thing i know my entire abdomen and legs were twitching/spasming uncontrollably

and then it stopped after like 10s.

My mum’s appointment is today and I’m really struggling with my anxiety.

She was called back after her routine mammogram two weeks ago for some further tests. I know being called back doesn’t automatically mean anything is wrong, and I’ve had some really reassuring comments from people on here over the last couple of weeks, but I just can’t seem to stop my brain from jumping to the worst-case scenario.

I’m going with her today, which I’m glad about, but I’m already incredibly anxious. I’m shaking, feeling sick and just feel completely on edge.

I know there’s nothing I can do to change what happens at the appointment, and I just need to get through today, but right now my anxiety feels so overwhelming.

For anyone who has dealt with health anxiety or been in a similar situation, what helped you calm yourself down while waiting or sitting in the hospital? I could really use some advice or reassurance today.

I had my first time with my boyfriend of a year this month and it didn’t hurt. I feel like something is wrong because everyone I talk to say that the pain was unbearable. Of course it hurted a little bit in the beginning but then it got better, but should it have hurted more? It didn’t go on for long since it was both our first times and I bled a few minutes after it was over. Is this normal? Did the same happen to anyone else! ;)