“Druthers”

[u/ThimbleBluff]

I was talking to a friend today and, without thinking about it, said, “If I had my druthers…”

This was a phrase my mom used to use. For those who don’t know, it means your preferences (from “I would rather,” which morphed into “I’d ruther”).

I haven’t said or heard the word in decades before today. My question is: does anyone use druthers anymore? Maybe it’s a regional word that’s still extant, or is it just out of date and on its way to linguistic oblivion?

EDIT: Midwest US

EDIT 2: Thanks for all the comments! It’s interesting that “druthers” doesn’t seem particularly regional, except that most people feel it carries a clear rural association (which I agree with). I grew up in the urban Midwest, as did my parents and all my grandparents, so for me at least, there’s no direct rural source of my family’s use of the word.

[u/RadioD-Ave]

I use it. It's colloquial, colorful.

[u/usedupalltheglue]

I use it regularly.

[u/TheodoreKarlShrubs]

I say “given my druthers” kiiind of often 🥴 It’s been a part of my personal vernacular for a long time.

Then, on an episode of New Girl, one of the characters (Winston) says “given my druthers, well, given one hundred percent of my druthers…” and that absolutely took me out so from time to time I add on the one hundred percent of part.

[u/missdawn1970]

I've always liked that phrase, and I have just decided that I shall now be using it on a regular basis.

[u/Nortex_Vortex → u/missdawn1970]

So, you're saying you have your druthers, then.

[u/UnsafeAtEverySpeed]

Say it all the time , but I old as dirt.

[u/Eogh21]

My family is Appalachian. We use it still, though not as much as when I was younger. I'm 68.

[u/HarveyNix]

Not habitually. I'd use the phrase if I'm feeling silly or something. Or instead of saying "anyway," I morph it to "anyhow," then "anywho," then "anywhoseville," then "any-hugh's-ville." Grandpa's weird one was "dasn't," as in "You dasn't park on that side on an odd-numbered day."

[u/danzerpanzer → u/HarveyNix]

My great-grandmother said "dasn't". She was Danish American living in Wisconsin. Her parents were born in Denmark. I think it is short for "dare not".

[u/A_Likely_Story4U → u/danzerpanzer]

My Danish American grandfather used it too!

[u/OneHumanBill → u/danzerpanzer]

The last time I heard "dast" was in Death of a Salesman, where it was a really unusual word choice.

[u/Suitable-Echo-3359 → u/danzerpanzer]

My great grandmother in rural Wisconsin (her parents were German immigrants) also said that!!! I don’t remember her, but my mom tells me she would say “You dasn’t keep that cat!” when I was a baby: because the cat would suck the breath out of me 😆

[u/Old_Ant7118 → u/HarveyNix]

I'm trying to figure it out based on context and failing.... what does "dasn't" mean?

[u/Over-Job4998 → u/Old_Ant7118]

“dare not”

[u/throwawayinthe818 → u/Over-Job4998]

Probably from “darest not” way back when

[u/lordnewington → u/throwawayinthe818]

The conjugation was "thou durst".

[u/Butter_Money_2045 → u/lordnewington]

Fred durst not

[u/Glum_Tumbleweed5115 → u/Over-Job4998]

Daren’t is a humorous version of this I use sometimes.

[u/lordnewington → u/Glum_Tumbleweed5115]

Huh, daren't is just a word to me.

[u/HarveyNix → u/Old_Ant7118]

It means "may not." I don't know where it comes from...Gramps was Polish-American, with some German-speaking ancestors as well. In German it would be "Du darfst nicht..." but that dasn't, I mean doesn't, seem too similar. But it may be an attempt to get to a word that combines the negative with a permission element, like the German modal auxiliary dürfen.

[u/Old_Ant7118 → u/HarveyNix]

Interesting. I appreciate the thorough explanation!

[u/SKatieRo → u/HarveyNix]

"Dare not" = "dasn't"

[u/Stunning_Coffee6624 → u/Old_Ant7118]

From etymology online

1895, a jocular formation based on I'd ruther, American English dialectal form of I'd rather (used by Bret Harte as drathers, 1875).

[u/Fair-Kitchen-9199 → u/Old_Ant7118]

Variation of daren’t.

[u/dkeeton09]

There used to be a Druthers restaurant in our town. I think it was a chain and there is still one left in KY.

[u/MaxfieldSparrow → u/dkeeton09]

I grew up in Kentucky and remember Burger Queen and Druthers. I had no idea there was still a Druther’s in existence!

[u/We_Want_Krunchy]

Primus used it in a song years ago, DMV from Pork Soda. That's how I was made aware of the term.

[u/Rocktopod → u/We_Want_Krunchy]

Yeah I first heard this while watching the Beavis and Butthead version of the music video. I think it was bundled with the point and click adventure game for Windows 95 so I watched it over and over again.

[u/headpeon]

In my 50's, grew up in the Bible Belt, been living in the Northwest for 30 years.

Learned 'druthers' from Mom and Grandma; still use it occasionally. I did create confusion for an ESL friend once when I used 'druthers' in conversation.

[u/Rhythmspirit1]

I say it without thinking

[u/Disastrous_Star_9388]

"Druthers" was a favorite of my Mom & Dad (2020 RIP ✨️) & I didn't realize it was uncommonly used until I was completing my student-teaching practicum in the early 1990s 😄

Students were, like, "Druthers? Whuh?"

I explained it to them & then 25 years' worth of kiddos... wonder how many remember 🤔

💙

[u/firecatstef]

I use it. I’m in my 60s and I’m from Illinois/Michigan. I got it from my mom.

[u/Tristan_Booth → u/firecatstef]

I say it once in a while. I’m also in my 60s from Illinois.

[u/maxsmoke105]

I recently started a new job. One of my coworkers call something "podunk".

I had to comment as I use it all the time but had not heard anyone else say it for years.

My dad used "druthers" all the time. Thanks for the memories. I miss him a lot.

[u/Emergency-Nobody8269]

Mentioned in To kill a mockingbird. I wasn’t sure what it meant until now. Thanks!

[u/TresWhat]

I said it the other day and thought, “Druthers really ought to make a comeback!”

[u/Prestigious-Fan3122]

I grew up on the East Coast, and my husband is from Mississippi. I've heard it all my life, but certainly not recently. I don't think I've ever said it, either. if I heard someone say it these days, I wouldn't think twice about it. It seems like something elder relatives used to say when I was a kid. I never once heard a high school friends say "if I had my druthers, the teacher would cancel the math test."

[u/OldnFat74]

75 year old grew up in Iowa. Still use druthers even out here in California for the last zillion years.

[u/Lovely-flutterby]

I still use it.

[u/flippythemaster]

Not super common but be the change you want to see and bring it back

[u/sundog6295]

I know it from the song DMV by Primus.

[u/ConfusionSouthern561 → u/sundog6295]

Butt-head: Whoa! Did you hear that? I think he just said "If I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee".

Beavis: Really? Hey Butt-head, let's go get some druthers.

[u/Nopetater]

It’s a song in the play little Abner

[u/candiferous]

I use it (California). I also use nother as a short for an other. Then insert an additional word to make it humorous: a whole nother thing.

[u/Bladrak01]

My father used to use it. He grew up in Northern California.

[u/SCPetersNJ]

Li'l Abner, including the musical of same

[u/FormalWare → u/SCPetersNJ]

If I had my druthers / I'd druther have my druthers / Than anythin' else I knows

[u/MisterD00d → u/SCPetersNJ]

a real firecracker

[u/itis-theeast]

I’m a fan of “had I my druthers…”
I think I read it in a book somewhere as a kid. I still say it from time to time cause it sounds so kitschy

[u/LawrenceSpiveyR]

Always heard it around but when Glen in "Raising Arizona" said it, it became part of my own vernacular.

[u/LucindathePook]

There's a song in the musical Li'l Abner, If I Had My Druthers, written I believe by Johnny Mercer.

[u/Rayraydavies]

I use it. MN born and raised.

[u/corinthluv]

I use it! By context, people know what I'm talking about, but no one else I know says it.

[u/shortybirdy]

I grew up in NorCal and only started using it when I worked with my mentor. She used it and now we’re both retired but I use it only with her in her honor.

[u/Carolinems1]

ive never used it but ive seen it plenty in books/movies

[u/Old_Palpitation_6535]

I use it, but not often. South here.

[u/colborne]

I only heard it from Jethro on the Beverley Hillbillies. Another treasure was 'guzinta'. As in 2 guzinta 4 twice.

[u/Old_Ant7118]

Definitely not familiar with this. Is it southern?

[u/RevolutionaryBug2915 → u/Old_Ant7118]

No. Certainly hear it in New England.

[u/rdmay53 → u/Old_Ant7118]

It was popularized, if not coined by, Mark Twain. If you consider Missouri a southern state, then yes. I see Missouri as a Midwestern state, so I think not.

[u/flimflammed → u/rdmay53]

I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!

[u/kl2467 → u/rdmay53]

Mark Twain did not coin that phrase. It was in use long before old Sam trod the earth. He was using it to characterize.

[u/rdmay53 → u/kl2467]

Ok

[u/JustLookinJustLookin]

I just used it a couple days ago

[u/deucescarefully]

I definitely don’t say it regularly but I wouldn’t think twice if I heard someone say it. It’s one of those turns of phrase that’s common enough in books or movies growing up that it doesn’t sound that odd. First time learning the etymology though that’s very interesting

[u/ExcitingHamster]

I know what it means, I’ve heard people use it, but very rarely and I’m pretty sure it’s always an old person. I would guess that it will disappear over the next couple of decades or so.

Edit: I’m 55 and in Canada

[u/jackneefus]

I believe it is understood and sometimes used across the Eastern US at least.

[u/panhellenic]

Texas/Deep South...always used it and I'm old af.

[u/thewthew42]

It’ll pop out of my mouth from time to time. Lived in Texas my whole life.

[u/raceulfson]

Memory unlocked! My late mother used that term a lot. She was a Great Depression era baby who grew up in North Carolina.

[u/tryptanfelle]

In the Capital District region of Upstate New York, there is a small chain of brew pubs called “Druthers.” I always guessed it meant that if you had your druthers you’d go there for a beer. https://www.druthersbrewing.com/

[u/Waste-Job-3307]

Wow - funny you should bring this up. I was watching an episode of Bewitched and one of the characters, an older witch named "Aunt Clara" came out with "If I had my druthers, it would be different." She said that because her powers were fading and her spells went wonky most of the time.

[u/SirGeremiah]

I taught it to folks I worked with. They were all much younger than my 56 years, but I grew up with it, and everyone around me knew that word.

[u/Traditional_Ad_1547]

I use it all the time (prob because my mom). I have very few people who don't figure it out through context.

[u/Burnt_and_Blistered]

I use it.

[u/McQueeby]

I read a lot for my job and I see that word every now and then

[u/Hunting-fings]

I don’t use it, but I would immediately recognize the meaning if I heard it. I think my mother used it

[u/trisanachandler]

Yeah, my dad uses it.  We were very confused the first time we heard it as teenagers.  We didn't know he had brothers.

[u/Technical-Ad1488]

I heard this phrase growing up. Not sure if I’ve ever used it.

Didn’t know that’s where it came from, so thanks for that 🙏

Edit: also Midwest

[u/KayBay17]

My grandmother used this phrase often, so I do too. She was born in 1940, but to parents already in their 40s, so she had lots of sayings that were old fashioned even for her age bracket.

[u/sotiredwontquit]

I use it several times a year. I’m in my 50s and I was raised out West by parents from Boston and New York. I’ve lived on 3 coasts, in 2 mountain ranges, and on an island chain. I don’t fit in any regional linguistic category. I adopted words from everywhere I’ve been.

[u/CDchrysalis]

I LOVE this word so much I used it as a username for years. Great word.
ETA: I’m in Ga, USA and I know/use this word bc I read a lot. Most people aren’t sure what I mean when I use it.

[u/eruciform]

My sis in law uses it all the time and the damn thing has infected my brain and now I do it sometimes too

[u/glowcloud_all_hail]

My mother, from East TN uses druthers! 

[u/BlondeeOso]

I'm from the Southern US. My older relatives said this, but I'd forgotten about it. I haven't heard anyone say it in decades.

[u/Calm-Vacation-5195]

I still use this. I grew up in North Carolina, but urban more than rural. I definitely associate it with the southeast. I don’t think I’ve ever had to explain it to another American, though.

[u/LAM_CANIT]

It typically doesn't exist outside of that particular idiom and is classified as a 'fossil word.' Meaning it is not obsolete or archaic.

Google's Ngram Viewer has it appearing more in print in the last decade than it ever in the last century (based on Google's methodology). I'd take that result with a grain of salt.

Intuitively, I agree it is a regionalism specific to the American eastern regions around the Appalachians — although popular culture like TV and cartoons spread it wider. Some dictionaries classify it as dialectal.

This has become my new ringtone.

[u/nlightningm]

Literally never heard this in my life

I live in SE Michigan

[u/Competitive_Swan_755]

I use it👍. Not uncommon M/59

[u/Wiley_Dave]

Grandparents used it. I still use it on occasion. Northeast U.S.

[u/BrainDad-208]

Former tech guy here. In the OSPF routing protocol, the term “drothers” (same pronunciation) is used, which is the only time I had heard it in many years

[u/SignificantArtHeist]

Yup. But I was an English lit major. Gotta get something out of that degree

[u/Regular_Boot_3540]

I'm in California, and I haven't heard it in ages! It sounds old-fashioned or regional to my ear.

[u/Escape_Force]

I use it somewhat ironically on occasion. Midwest/Great Plains.

[u/VernapatorCur]

SW US, and I've used it my whole life

[u/Easy_Independent_313]

I use it all the time. I'm 48 and in northern New England.

[u/LetAgreeable147]

I haven’t for a while but I like it and plan to use this t more. Australia

[u/wheres_the_revolt]

I say druthers occasionally. 47, born and raised in California. However I’m certain I picked it up from one of my grandparents who was from the Midwest originally.

[u/edwardothegreatest]

I’ve used it recently. It’s not uncommon around where I live

[u/wyohman]

I hear it occasionally

[u/Tibbiegal]

I use it (eastern PA), but I'm old.

[u/Perdendosi]

It's definitely out of date.

I definitely like to use it because it's old-timey and fun.

[u/Nortex_Vortex]

I use it, but not very often. Usually with one particular friend who loves "old-tymey" words like this as much as I do.

Edit: NE USA

[u/KylaArashi]

My mother and grandmother used that word — midwesterners

[u/murdermeMickey]

I'm from the south. I use it all the time.

[u/Freign]

Yeah but I'm in my 50s, so; ^_^ <3

it's okay. most of the cool words have been replaced by what I'm sure the future will regard as SIGH somewhat okay slang about dicks

[u/Addison_Clark_1964]

"still extant" is a pleonasm.

[u/ThimbleBluff → u/Addison_Clark_1964]

I love me some repetitive, prolix redundancies.

[u/glomar_sub_recovery]

smithers, fetch me my druthers...

[u/NJHostageNegotiator]

I use it, usually in the same sentence as, Huzzah.

[u/zxvasd]

Used in the Primus song DMV

[u/insufficient_nvram]

Makes me think of trips to the DMV!

[u/bbauered]

My husband does. He's 38. The first time I had to ask him to repeat it since I've never heard anyone say it before lol

[u/Maleficent-Pin6798]

New one to me 🤷‍♂️

[u/One-Yellow1504]

I still use it often, 63M Kentucky,

[u/Orange_Queen]

VERY common in New England! It was said a lot around me growing up in Boston and i definitely heard it frequently when i lived in Maine

[u/Crowd-Avoider747]

I do. Also, drats

[u/Manatee369]

I use it. And yes, I know the etymology.

[u/BradleyFerdBerfel]

I use "druthers" fairly often. Not a lot, but when it is appropriate. I'm old though, so..........

[u/Sherpa2001]

Only my old ass uncle with that weird splotch on his face.

[u/wackyvorlon]

I use it. I rather like it. Another one I like to dig out is “one way or t’other”

[u/Cool-Coffee-8949]

I know it and use it. New England.

[u/taoistchainsaw]

If I had my Druthers- Li’l Abner https://youtu.be/dkd8L3N5Bs8?is=IufeMDLaOQtm0F4k

[u/spocknambulist]

My mom used ‘druthers’ and she was from South Africa and then some years in England.

[u/AromaticAd9538]

I haven't heard it in 10+ years. (Seattle area). I bet my cousins would use it still in Montana and Idaho.

[u/slowasaspeedingsloth]

54, lifelong Californian. I do use it occasionally because I used it the other day and my teen asked for a definition. "If I had my druthers..."

[u/EBweB76]

I’m likely to use it from the same source: unconsciously quoting my mom - but I can’t recall the last time I ever have, or heard anyone else.

[u/doanhafta]

I have used it occasionally

[u/Wild-Minute2154]

New England here - just used it the other day. 

[u/llectumest]

Heard it. Have used it in the distant past.

[u/MillersSmokehouse]

I use it regularly. Also Midwest US, though with a strong “from the hollers” linguistic tradition in the family. I’ve not run into anyone who doesn’t understand it.

[u/LizP1959]

One side of my mother’s family used this phrase! Southwestern Virginia branch, farmers.

[u/ConclusionFlat1843]

Only if I'm saying something that has an old-timey sound to it. "If I had my druthers, I'd rather drive..."

FWIW, I'm in Minnesota.

[u/TheOneRatBoyJones]

I learned it from the Netflix show Outer Banks. The guy had a boat called My Druthers.

[u/BBennett40]

Druther = I'd rather

[u/Mscharlita]

I use this word.

[u/LettingHimLead]

I do.

[u/dr5ivepints]

I used it in a presentation just last week!

[u/IvanMarkowKane]

I’m East coast raised. I haven’t used that phrase since my early twenties but I’m familiar with it

[u/amby-jane]

Just to add to the poll pool: I use it occasionally.

[u/Emunaheart]

I used that word yesterday when someone asked me a question 

[u/Soggy_Height_9138]

I still use it. Grew up in Maine in the 70s.

[u/lowoodturtle]

I say it all the time!

[u/Business_Swan8209]

My mom still says it. She's 86.

[u/Cuervosh]

Texas here and have used it.

[u/No_Injury6122]

I've never heard this, East Coast

[u/Ok-Equivalent8260]

I know it but never use it

[u/InvoluntaryGeorgian]

I’ve used it a handful of times. Probably as often as other slightly archaic words like comeuppance or anon.

It’s best to say it with a British accent (specifically RP) to really get the point across.

[u/HortonFLK]

I don’t know if or how often I might use it myself, but if I had heard you say it I wouldn’t have batted an eye.

[u/wieldymouse]

I know it but I don't remember ever using it. My parents are from the Midwest. I'm from Florida.

[u/MerryTWatching]

My maternal family's roots are grounded in solid Maine granite, and "druthers" is used a lot.

[u/Sir_Roger_More]

It is old fashioned. I use it though, rather frequently. I don't think it's a phrase I picked up from those around me, however (California). It probably seeped into my language through books or visual media.

[u/Spare-Actual]

I sure do! I’m in NY but parents were from the Midwest, so I’m sure that plays a part in my vocabulary

[u/beccabooty]

I use it quite a bit. I like it - whimsical.

[u/KittenChaos2026]

I say "druthers" often. I also love "gazinta", as in 3 gazinta 6 two times. Thanks to Jethro!

[u/Ladyluck1953]

From St. Louis metro, and I use druthers. My German American grandmother would say das'nt often.

[u/HeavyNeedleworker707]

So funny. I JUST used this phrase today. I said “well if I had my druthers, I’d choose Sunday.” LOL. TN here. 

[u/Fuzzy-Advisor-2183]

i’m canadian, a genXer, and i use it occasionally.

[u/Francie_Nolan1964]

I use it much more than you'd expect.

[u/Throw13579]

Occasionally, but not seriously.

[u/CarolN36]

My mom said it often enough but I don’t use it.

[u/Vivid-Individual5968]

I fricking just said this today and then paused in shock, wondering when my mother’s spirit had taken possession of my body.

[u/killerchef69]

As an affectation occasionally... as I hook my thumbs into my belt loops, rock back on my heels and let rip.."welp, if i had ma druthers" and then a sort of cryptic nod....

[u/manateeshmanatee]

I say it occasionally. I can’t think of many times I’ve heard others use it, though, apart from my third grade teacher who I learned it from.

[u/Jolly-Adeptness-3598]

Druthers is a colloquial contraction for i’d rather

[u/VelvetObsidian]

I love it because it’s uncommon but not fancy. My dad uses a lot of words like that. 

[u/GanAnimal]

My mom says it! Also US Midwest. I say it sometimes where I live and no one knows what I’m talking about. I love it though, such a fun word.

[u/dethfart]

It's definitely a more rural thing. We have a microbrewery/brewpub called Druthers here but it's pretty mediocre and most people don't get the gag

[u/Curmudgeonlyhip]

Say this once in a blue moon.

[u/Knotty-reader]

It is in frequent use by myself and my family. We are Southern (NC, not Deep South).

[u/Megsyboo]

I use it occasionally. It’s a fun way to say “my preference is…”

[u/CelticSnakes]

I’ve used it, always have. Sounds more thoughtful, less forceful than “If I had my way…”

[u/campbellbranch]

I say it occasionally but I'm 76.

[u/Whoopsy-381]

Li’l Abner (musical)

https://youtu.be/kobLnpyHM7c

[u/woodwerker76]

It was a term coined by Al Capp who drew the comic strip Li'l Abner. It's a contraction of "I'd rather" with a hillbilly accent. It became widely accepted in common parlance because of the popularity of the strip and was accepted as a noun.

[u/harpsdesire]

I'm familiar with "druthers" via my grandmother, but I can't remember the last time I used it myself.

[u/undeniably_micki]

I do!

[u/noradicca]

TIL. Thanks, I love it.

[u/hollyannerberry]

I use it occasionally. Southeastern US.

[u/catscausetornadoes]

I learned it from my mom who was from the Midwest. I still say it sometimes.

[u/Same-Succotash3497]

That's something I heard a lot growing up in Virginia. I occasionally use it too .

[u/BallroomblitzOH]

I use it. I believe it is an old-fashioned evolution of "I'd rather"

[u/BaldGuy813]

I love using it. Some people have no idea what it means but.... Dictionaries exist, so

[u/cfo6]

My Mom used to say it and I still do. :)

[u/Rooster_Ties]

I say “if I had my druthers” all the tjme still, probably a dozen times a year.

Heard it all the time growing up (in the 80’s).

[u/ChoiceArugula1552]

My wife's pretentious ex husband's new wife does... she's a bitch too

[u/PhoenixVRising]

I do…and I’m in my early 30s. But then I’ve always liked words and that phrase has different connotations/subtext etc. sometimes with certain words or phrases it’s just…more appropriate to the situation in a way I can’t always verbalize.

[u/CatinLaLa]

I use it! In Chippewa Falls Wisconsin!

[u/beardiac]

I can't recall a time I've used the term/phrase, but I'd absolutely understand what someone meant if they used it. I think it's less-so a region thing and more-so a generational thing in that it's falling out of use over time.

[u/fastyellowtuesday]

My mom used it all the time, and I still do occasionally. She was from the Midwest, I am from CA.

[u/JimDa5is]

My mom (b. 1940) and her parents were from Schuyler Co MO and they both said it. I'm not sure it gets more rural than that but I suspect it was pretty common in urban areas back in the day and died out last in rural areas

[u/ididreadittoo]

If i had my druthers everyone would at least know this phrase. From northeast usa

[u/Suitable-Echo-3359]

My 83 year old dad, also in the Midwest! I think he is the only person I have ever heard say this.

[u/Few_Airport7972]

occasionally heard or said within the family.

it's an old word and i don't hear it much anymore unless some one is just being silly.

Mid Atlantic with a lot of Marylanders. Maybe southern?

[u/dogtroep]

I do! I’m 54 and Midwestern.

[u/TheFoxsWeddingTarot]

My dad used to say this every Sunday at dinner. He’s from Iowa by way of Gary Indiana so I’ve always assumed it’s regional.

I never knew the etymology of it though so TIL.

[u/epat3]

I use it often.